Twilight frowned and cocked her head to the side, rubbing her chin. “This... appears to be the place, at least.”
“Is it... edible?” Spike asked.
The earth pony looked the giant gingerbread house up and down, before shaking her head. “No, I don't believe so. I hope it's not, at least. I would hate to imagine how... sick such a thing would make a pony. If they live in it, it has likely been here for many years.” Though, she couldn't deny, even if it was a real gingerbread house, it wouldn't be the strangest home she'd ever seen. It might not even be in her top five.
She gently pushed open the door and was greeted by a happy pink face. “Hi Twilight! I was wondering when I'd see you!”
The earth pony reared up and stumbled back, falling on her back with a shriek and sending Spike flying. She stared at the very hyper pink earth pony with the puffy mane, who just grinned from ear to ear at her.
“H-hi? You know my name?” she asked weakly. “Err... Pinkie?”
“Of course I do, silly! Rainbow and the others told me allllll about you! I mean, big purple earth pony mare, dragon in tow, that face of pure confusion, who else could you be? I'd throw you a party but I'm reallllllly busy right now and I know you've got grouchy lunar queen to look out for so I won't take up too much of your time! What can I get for you?” She gave a wink.
Twilight gulped and stared at the pony. It was the strangest thing. The mare wasn't even moving. And yet she still envisioned the mare hopping and jumping around as if she was galloping to and fro. “This uhhhh, this is Spike. I came to ask if you'd--”
“I'll throw it!” Pinkie said excitedly, jumping up into the air as confetti exploded in the background.
The earth pony blinked, her mouth falling open. “W-what? But... but I haven't even asked... what?”
“I've always WANTED to go to the Grand Galloping Gala and this year I get to throw it! It's going to be the BEST! GALA! EVER! And you can tell grouchy groucho that, too! I Pinkie promise!” she said with a nod and making a strange gesture with her hoof.
“W-what? Did I... I didn't... did I?” Twilight asked, cocking her head to the side. Hadn't she been interrupted? She felt a new headache building. “And... err... I guess... ummm... well, err, thank you. Then. That makes it... easier. I guess. Can, ummm, you give me directions to uhhh... an apple farm? Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Ohhhhh? Getting apples for the party? Sure took your sweet time, didn't you?” Pinkie asked with a light giggle. “Get it, because SWEET apple acres?”
“What? Oh. Right. Quite... amusing?” Twilight asked. She glanced back to the door and saw that Spike was chewing on a cupcake. “When did you...” When she turned back, a cupcake was stuffed in her mouth too. And then she was hugged, tightly, by the pink mare. She tried to choke out a response, but couldn't.
“I know what you're doing,” Pinkie said softly. “I know it's not easy and you're scared you're going to mess up everything. I know it's really, really, really hard and you don't think you're up to it. But you are! My friends told me allll about you and what you did for Rainbow! And everypony else! So don't get all worked up or depressed or anything, okay? I'm rooting for you!”
Twilight finally managed to choke down the cupcake, her eyes wide and staring at the pony. “I... I... thank you?” she said softly, so very confused. “Your words are... very kind. I will endeavor to... live up to them,” she said softly. “Miss... Pie?”
“Just call me Pinkie! You and I are going to be the bestest best friends ever! And after the gala I'll throw you a real big 'nice to meet you' party! Or if you have time while here?"
"... We'll see. But it's unlikely."
"I'd like a party..." Spike mumbled.
"You can throw one for Spike if you want?"
The pink pony looked like she'd explode with excitement. "Yay!” She then just disappeared in a puff of pink smoke.
Twilight stared, her face contorted into one of pure confusion. The pony hadn't actually imploded in excitement, had she? She then looked to Spike as he climbed back onto her back. “What... just... happened?”
“You found a pony to throw the gala.”
“I'm not sure that's a good idea.”
“Do you have any other choice?”
She blinked and glanced towards where the other mare had been before sighing. “No. I guess not. Come on,” she said before turning and trotting off. Her head was still spinning when she found the sign pointing off down the road towards Sweet Apple Acres. She frowned and rubbed her chin. “Spike? How are you feeling? I know we've been out for a very long time. I--” She paused when she looked back.
He was laying across her back, lightly snoring.
She gave a soft exasperated sigh. “Note to self. Cupcakes apparently help him sleep. At least he's not toothing,” she muttered. She glanced back towards the giant cupcake in the distance, a low chill going down her back. She didn't know why, but she felt as if she'd awoken some great, powerful force. One possibly to match that of Nightmare Moon.
She then shook her head. That was just silly.
------
Twilight walked nervously, struggling to keep her hooves from shaking with each step. The trees surrounded the path on each side, their great branches reaching out as if they were trying to grab her. She tried to remind herself that there was nothing to fear, they were just trees. There was nothing in the dark she needed to worry about.
Aside from vampires, wereponies and shades. But other than those and whatever other monsters Nightmare Moon had unleashed on the world with the horrible things she'd done, there was nothing to fear. She gave another shudder and glanced back. She was tempted to wake Spike, if for no other reason than the company. But he was still just a baby, all this running around couldn't be good for him. She wished she could have dropped him off at a hotel, but there was no way she could risk the collar choking him.
Though, a part of her wished she could just go back to town and wait for sunrise. If only there was such a thing as sunrise now. At least the moon did a lot to help illuminate the darkness, even if it did create a lot of shadows. She glanced up at the trees as they passed. The trees themselves seemed fine, aside from the occasional grasping branches. She half expected most of them to be in varying states of decay or worse, but instead they were still standing strong, with nice, full leaves. It had been so long since they'd last seen the sun but it looked as if the sun have only gone down for them a few days ago. She reached out and touched one.
The bark was rough against her hoof and there was no sign of wilting from the trees. So strange. She didn't know what Nightmare Moon was doing to help keep the plant from dying in this night, but it must have been working. And here she'd expected the Equestrian diet would have to change.
Still, she wasn't looking forward to this years Winter Wrap-up. It wasn't going to be easy without the help of the sun. But she supposed it was still pretty far away.
Twilight started walking again. Then she heard it. A loud crack, like a lightning bolt. She looked around in confusion before she saw it. She squinted for a moment. There was something big and… hulking in the distance. She squinted and stared, trying to make out whatever it was. It was standing in the shadows of one of the trees and--
There was another loud crack as whatever it was kicked one of the trees. The sound echoed through the fields. Her eyes stared wide with horror.
Spike stood up. “H-huh? Wha?” he asked. “What’s going on?” he called out.
To her additional horror, the creature stopped and turned to them.
She screamed and galloped down the trail.
“Wait!” she heard a voice call out.
But she ignored it. Spike shrieked, holding onto her for dear life.
Twilight wasn’t sure what that thing was, but it was huge. Bigger than any pony she’d ever seen. A truly massive creature. Possibly a werewolf? Or was there something else? Why was it trying to destroy the trees? She raced through the path, shrieking. Finally, she saw the glow from the house and a young yellow filly standing by the door. The mare squinted up at her. “What in tarnat--”
“There’s a monster out here! Run!” Twilight shrieked. “Get help!”
The filly’s eyes went wide and she shrieked, racing inside. “Granny Smith! Big mac! Applejack!” She left the door open and Twilight raced inside after her, slamming the door shut and resting against it.
“What’s going on?” Spike said.
“I-I don’t know! T-there was something out there, it was trying to destroy the trees! I-I don’t know what it did but it was HUGE!”
“I-it was?” Spike asked fearfully.
There was a heavy crash on the door as whatever hit it slammed into it. Or maybe it just hit the door with one of its massive claws. Either way, Twilight was almost sent sprawling. She squeaked and tried holding the door shut, throwing her whole weight against it.
“What in tarnation… Applebloom, let meh in!” the voice boomed from outside.
Twilight held the door closed as best she could. However, after a few moments she heard a new sound. Laughter.
She looked up and saw the filly again. She was on the ground, laughing so hard that she was almost rolling.
“W-what?” Twilight asked.
------
Twilight held her face in her hooves, the red flooding through them and shame flowing through every fiber of her being. She couldn't believe how big a foal of herself she'd been. The four ponies across the table from her seemed to think it was the greatest thing ever. Even the massive red one she had confused for some great monster was giving a quick, hearty chuckle.
“So yah actually thought mah big bro was some kinda monster?” the big orange mare said.
“Just please, let me die and bury me here. I don’t think I can face the world ever again,” Twilight muttered, holding her face.
The mare just laughed, shaking her head. “Nahhhhh, that ain’t gonna be no fun. If we ain’t got a witness, who’s gonna believe it when we tell this story tah others? So, what brings yah down this way, miss…?”
“Twilight. Twilight Glow. I was sent here by--” She blinked and realized a moment later all the laughter had died. She lowered her hooves and realized the others were just staring at her.
“You’re… Twilight Glow?” Applejack asked, softly.
“Y-yes? Is there a problem?”
“What? No! Ah jus’, ah mean, with what the papers were sayin’… ah mean… are yah… that Twilight Glow? The one who… err...”
The earth pony groaned and face tabled. “Yes, I am Nightmare Moon’s personal bard. No, I am not evil. No, I do not intend to hurt anypony. No, I did not, nor would I ever betray Princess Celestia, she is my idol. No, I do not intend to betray anypony. No, even if you did do anything worthy of catching Nightmare Moon’s attention, I wouldn’t TELL her. The mare is one piece of bad news from performing some kind of destructive… destruction… thing,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “Anything else?”
“Errr...”
“I’m sorry, I came here at Rainbow’s behest. Something… well… happened. Fluttershy needs pretty much whatever apple juice you can spare. And any sweet apple cider, for Rainbow.”
The mare cocked an eye. “Wait, what? Why she need apple juice for? An' Rainbow knows sweet apple cider ain't in season. Ah swear that girl tries tah get it every chance she can.”
“It’s… a long story and I think it would be best for them to tell you. Since they seem to know you better. Suffice to say, everypony is fine, for now and nopony is hurt.” She gave a light smile. “I’m… truly sorry for ummmm… acting the way I did.” She looked up at the big red pony. She’d never seen a pony so big, even larger than her big brother and he was a pretty big one as they went. The princesses were larger, of course, but they were likely the only ones.
“Nahhhh, we could all use a good laugh here and there,” Applejack said with a grin. “Besides, ah keep tellin’ him tah bring out that lantern when he works. Maybe now he’ll listen. So, was that everythin’?”
Twilight nodded and got to her hooves. “We should get going. Thank you for your--”
“Oh now you hold on jus’ one con-founded minute,” the mare said quickly. “We ain’t even had time tah properly introduce ourselves an’ we ain’t sending nopony away empty hooved and empty stomached!”
“W-what? No, that’s not really necessary. I--”
“Yes it is,” the mare said firmly. “Now, mah name is Applejack, this here is mah big brother Big Mac. This lil slice of apple pie is Applebloom an’ this pony,” she motioned to an older mare who had fallen asleep in her chair. “Is good ol’ Granny Smith. We run this here farm. Now, how about yah properly introduce yourself an’ your friend?”
Twilight blinked and then coughed. “R-right. I am Twilight Glow, ummmm, a novelist and kind of… working for Nightmare Moon. Sort of. This is Spike, my assistant,” she said before motioning to the dragon. “He helps me with minor tasks when I need them.”
The dragon waved.
“Well, it’s nice tah meet yah. Now, ah dun’ know how much of what the papers say is true, but yah seem good enough. If Rainbow an’ them trust yah, ah dun see no reason tah kick yah out. So, whattaya say tah a nice, home cooked meal?”
“E-err, that’s really not necessary, I--”
“Ah ain’t takin’ no for an answer. Yah came all the way out here, the least we can do is make sure your tank is full. Besides, yah look like lil more than skin an’ bones for an earth pony.”
Twilight’s cheeks turned red. “I-I don’t… I’m not… do I?” She looked down at herself. She guessed she had lost a bit of weight. But eating was hardly on her list of priorities with Nightmare Moon on the throne and all. “I guess… one little meal wouldn’t be so bad.”
“Good. Now, how about yah sit down an’ take a load off. Supper’ll be done lickety split.”
Twilight took a seat, giving a weak nod. This ponies were a bit strange. Friendly though, at least. She relaxed in her seat and glanced down to Spike, giving him a small smile. “Hope it’s okay if we stay a bit?”
He merely shrugged. “I don’t care. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Applejack gave a little chuckle. “We don’t really get a lotta guests here from Canterlot. Last one we had was that student of Celestia’s. Moondancer. A shame about what happened tah her. Ah never thought she’d go an’ work for that… well...”
Twilight blinked and then stood up. “Hey! Don’t talk bad about Moondancer! She’s working hard!”
“W-what?” Applejack asked.
“Moondancer is trying her hardest! You don’t have ANY idea what it’s like down there in Canterlot! What’s its like trying to deal with Nightmare Moon,” she snapped. “I’ll admit, it’s a horrible situation. For all of us. Nightmare Moon is wild and erratic and frankly, she’s borderline evil. But we’re trying our hardest to keep ponies safe and stop her from doing all kinds of things to hurt ponies!” She dug her hooves into the table. “Do you think Moondancer WANTS to be her student? No! But she doesn’t have a choice! There’s no telling what will happen to her friends and family if she doesn’t! And at least like this she can try to guide Nightmare Moon away from really hurting ponies! Or getting us into... too many wars!”
Applejack stared at her for a few moments, looking ready to talk back. Then she stopped and gave a nod. “Well… ah guess ah can understand that. Ah’ll be honest, the papers don’t exactly show yah two in the best light.”
“The papers can kiss my flank,” Twilight snapped. “Even before all this they were always talking bad about one thing or another. How Princess Celestia would do something or another and then cause more problems. Now I bet they wish they had her back so things were at least a lot less scary,” the earth pony snapped in anger.
Applejack sighed. “Ah’m sorry. Ah didn’t mean tah upset yah.”
Twilight blinked and shook her head, her cheeks going red. “I’m sorry. I just… Moondancer is working her hardest to make sure everything goes okay. She’s throwing her all into trying to keep Nightmare Moon from doing anything too bad. This entire… the representatives that visited? I was expecting a blood bath. But I know Moondancer was working her hardest behind the scenes to ensure that everything went smoothly and there wasn’t a war. Well, less war than there could have been. None of the other species were banished or imprisoned or… executed. That’s… a lot. And it’s dangerous there. We’re doing out hardest but… we can’t just snap our hooves and everything will be better.”
Applejack nodded before trotting over, patting her on the back with a smile. “Well, ah think you’re doin’ a good job then. Ah’ll admit, the whole… not havin’ a sun thing was awfully terrifyin’ at first. We thought we were gonna lose the whole harvest. But, well...”
“It’s all growing strong. I saw. That… might actually be Nightmare Moon.”
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah. I’m not sure how she’s doing it, but it seems we’re getting by without the sun. Somehow. I’m guessing she thought this out a bit better than we thought.”
Applejack nodded. “It makes gatherin’ ‘em up a bit more difficult, but at least there are plants tah gather. If anythin’, ah think our harvest might have been improvin’. Our apples been some of the juiciest, tastiest batch we ever had. Why, ah made a pie the other day, was like takin’ a nice big ol’ bite of the sun itself, reminded us all of how things used tah be.” The mare stopped. “Yah work close tah Nightmare Moon, right? Yah think there’s any chance that… one day… well...”
Twilight frowned and rubbed her chin. “I… don’t know. Maybe? Right now, though… she has a lot of pain and anger. But once it calms down and she’s no longer as mad, it might be… possible. We might be able to have Celestia back. At least… in… person. I don’t know if Nightmare Moon will ever allow her to rule again, though.”
Applejack nodded. “Ah see. An’… what do yah think… how much danger are we all really in?”
“Very little.”
“Wait, really?” the mare asked. “Ah heard that she went an… well… somehow drained all the ponies an’ stuff.”
“Yes, she did. Those who rebelled and tried to fight her. I don’t think we can fight her, she’s too powerful. Buuuut...” Twilight rubbed a hoof on the table. “I don’t think she wants to kill us ponies. I don’t even think she wants to hurt us, if she can. Those she drained lost their power, but they weren't whipped or anything after. They were just sent home to their families. It was still... frightening to watch, but not as bad as I would have feared.”
“If she likes us, she sure has a funny way of showin' it...”
“... Nightmare Moon is not what you'd call a... pony person,” Twilight said with a sigh. “Honestly, from what I've been able to gather, I can't really blame her for being upset. A thousand years locked away on the moon would make anypony upset. Not to mention the whole...” She waved a hoof into the air. “What led up to it wasn't exactly the... easiest thing.”
“Huh?”
Twilight sighed. “I just... know so little about her right now. She is capable of a lot of horrible things, though.”
“You're telling me,” Spike grumbled.
“But I think there is at least a little good to her. A part of her that won't... kill us all. If we can be careful. We might even be able to find common ground with her in the future, as hard as that may be to believe.”
Applejack gave a shrug. “Well, ah'll jus' have tah take your word for it. All ah can see is the whole... no sun thing.”
Twilight sighed and gave a nod. “I know. A part of me wonders what would have happened if Princess Celestia had just let it all... play out. Rather than sealing her away from the get go. Apparently the whole thing hadn't lasted very long before she was tossed into the moon. Can hardly blame her though, if Nightmare Moon was trying to kill her.”
“The what now?” Applejack asked.
Twilight sighed. “I'll get into it in my book. The whole... everything though. It's all... interesting. I've been trying to find records on what exactly happened back then, too, but there's nothing. It's like she wiped everything out. I'm sure if I can look long enough I'll find some old records, though. Princess Celestia had to leave us SOMETHING. Like that mirror, maybe?” She shook her head. “I don't suppose you have any papers?”
“Papers?”
“Yeah. The news papers. I can't... really get them back home. Nightmare Moon and all. Trust me, just about every pony there is working to make sure she stays as least homicidal as possible.”
The mare nodded. “Of course. Hold on, ah think we got a few in the bin... right...” Applejack frowned and peered over the counter, before motioning to a small white box. “Here yah go. We usually cut 'em up an' use 'em for stuff. Got a bit now, though. Go wild.”
Twilight nodded and walked over, pulling one of the ones on the bottom out. It was from a few days prior and had a picture of Nightmare Moon on the front. She took one look at the article and sighed.
There really wasn't any good news.
------
Twilight groaned, her face buried on the table and her stomach bulging. She'd ate way, way too much. But it was all soooooo good.
“Ughhhh...” she moaned.
“Yah all gonna be okay?” Applejack asked with a grin. “Yah got a nice, healthy appetite for a pen pusher.”
“Bard. I mean, novelist,” Twilight muttered before looking up. “How is it allll soooooo good?”
Applejack snickered. “Well, thank yah kindly for the compliment. Most of us been cookin' since we were lil fillies an' a big ol' colt,” she said with a nod. “Yah should see us when we have a full Apple family reunion. Can cook up some mighty fine snacks then!”
Twilight nodded, staring at the food. She rubbed her chin for a moment. “I... don't suppose you do... catering?”
Applejack blinked. “Come again?”
“The Grand Galloping Gala. Pinkie, err, a mare from the town is going to be running it. How would you feel about catering it? I feel Rarity will probably end up doing the decorations. If you know those two, having a full Ponyville gala could make for an interesting theme this year. Do you think--”
“We'll do it!” Applejack said, a big grin on her face.
Twilight blinked. “W-what? Really?”
“Ah assume there'll be proper financial compensation, right?”
“Of course!”
“Then yup! With bits like that we could repair that saggy ol' roof, replace that saggy ol' plow, maybe replace Granny Smith's saggy ol' hip!”
“Huh? What?” the elder mare asked, before going back to sleep.
“Oh! That's great, then!” Twilight said with a sigh of relief. “Even though it's... well... with Nightmare Moon?”
The mare blinked. “Well, that ain't exactly the best part about it, but we'll make do. With bits like that, well, all kinds of things we can end up doing,” she said with a grin. “So, when yah gonna need everything done?”
“I'm not sure. Pinkie will be making the plans. But I'll have expected guest number sent to you as soon as I can. It'll be a big one, though. So we'll likely need large amounts of food and we'll of course have staff available to assist you. You might need to relocate to Canterlot for a bit, though. Once preparations get fully underway.”
Applejack nodded and gave a salute. “Don't you worry about nothin'. If an Apple can't handle one measly gala, well, then she ain't an Apple!”
She nodded. “And, ummm, you will be able to send all the apple juice needed to Fluttershy and the others?”
“Of course,” she said with a grin, before frowning. “Though...”
“Yes?”
“What exactly yah need so much apple juice for? Ah mean, ah never knew her tah have much of a hankerin' for it. Some of her pets might, but ah ain't seen mucha that, either.”
Twilight sighed. “That... you'll need to talk with her about. But trust me, she needs it,” her eyes lowered and she shook her head. “It's my fault, honestly...”
“Come again?”
“Nothing. Just... yet another...” She got to her hooves. “Anyway, I need to go. I'm going to be getting a room back in town and--”
“What? Now wait jus' one moment. After good news like that, the least we could do is hold yah up here for a few days,” Applejack said with a grin. “We got a best bedroom we--”
“No,” Twilight said firmly, holding up a hoof. “Trust me, that would be a very, very bad idea. I'm on official royal business, more or less. So everything will be dealt with royally. Staying here for an extended period would likely draw the ire of the papers, possibly make Nightmare Moon question what I was doing here, as well as... there are so many things that could just go wrong, it's not a good idea.” She then looked down at her belly. “Besides, if I eat here too often I'll have to be rolled out of here.”
Applejack gave a sigh before nodding. “Well, ah suppose that's all a bit silly, but politics often are in mah experience. Ah wish yah a fine night then, Twilight. An' ah dun care what the papers say about yah. Yah make a right proper guest an' ah may not understand everythin' yah be tryin' tah do, but ah can sure as heck appreciate it.”
Twilight nodded and got to her hooves. “Thank you. It was nice meeting all of you. Come along, Spike.”
“Ughhhhh,” the dragon said before crawling out of his chair and slowly lumbering after her. “Guhhhhhh.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and slowly trotted back towards town, Spike besides her this time. There was no way she felt up to carrying him around. Her cheeks turned red once they got on the path and she remembered her earlier panic after seeing Big Mac. She couldn't believe she'd thought he was a werewolf or some other monsters. She felt like such an idiot.
7682428 lol
Nitpicking. . .
The Sugar Cube Corner most of us know is a gingerbread house, not a cupcake. OK, it's an alternate world. . . It could be a cupcake, but there's no explanation for why?
Twilight's encounter with Pinkie Pie, I found terse and unsatisfying. It felt to me like you phoned it in. The omniscient, seemingly omnipotent, fourth-wall-shattering spin on Pinkie just annoys me. It's like you've taken all my least favorite Pinkie traits and exaggerated them, while giving us very little in the way of personality coming through or meaningful interaction with Twilight.
i feel so bad for twilight, why do i have feeling when all is said and done there going to be a mob that going to try and hang her or get her banish form cantlot or the country
You went a little heavy on Applejack's accent. May want to go a little lighter on it in the future.
Otherwise, it was an entertaining chapter. I especially liked the callback to the pilot with Twilight eating too much, and "the monster" part was entertaining.
Sooooooo Big Mac is likely a werewolf.
7506902 Fortunately she hasn't done anything... okay yes she is probably going to self banish herself for a while. Assuming it does get better.
7507099 Yay, more followers!
7507858 It is mostly now!
7507951 Mostly sorted, thanks for concern. :)
7508000 Hee hee hee. Oh, I have plans for Moondancer.
7509080 I'm not surprised. I'd be amazed if I was the first to do this.
7517871 Ayes. It is one of NMM darker moments.
7663433 It will be awesome.
7663659 Thanks! and uhhh, they were. Oops.
7663745 Thanks. Been wanting to have Spike for a while.
7663755 It's been plotted for a while, I swear! Even in the original two chapters I was all like 'There are vampires and stuff.' I just... didn't mention them much.
7663824 Yes, read them all! :D
7664183 Some things, mostly.
7664240 Thanks. ^^ Happy you're enjoying it, it's my primary story for the moment so hopefully should be getting through quick.
7665318 It is a bit violent, but NMM doesn't put up with much right now.
7665667 Interesting stuff, hopefully.
Okay! Run through one of comments! Yayyyyy! *collapses.* I swear I've read them all, sorry I didn't manage to respond to all of them. Some of them I... frankly don't know what to say. Aside from please trust me. Hopefully, in the grand storyline, everything will make sense. But as it is, some parts are going to seem better/worse than they are but I swear I have a plan. A grand master plan. I'm trying my hardest to make the whole story as good as possible, so please trust me. Thank you.
No MacGlow, am disappoint.
Not much I can say other than, great job on the latest chapter. The exchanges, emotional content, humor and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places. You did an excellent job on Twi's first meetings with Pinkie and AJ. At any rate, I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.
So Pinkie Pie is a great force that rivals Nightmare Moon herself? Interesting....
AJ will fatten Twilight up good and proper.
So... Will we have Fluttershy become Blade or Alucard? AJ could be Batmare. Now... All we will need is a Chuck Norris pony
Augh, excessively forth-wall breaking Pinkie is the worst Pinkie, especially when she starts referencing to the fanfiction she's in, which she already did in this chapter. How long before the stupid, "Don't worry, I read ahead," line that I see painfully often with these dreadful Pinkies? See, a Pinkie like this doesn't work because all of their feelings and dialogue become empty, emotionless things.
How is any of what comes out of Pinkie supposed to feel genuine to the reader when she knows she's just a character in a book? How can she think any of her actions matter if they are controlled by the author? Why would she cry or be sad when she already knows the ending? The readers know the story isn't real, but that doesn't mean we want to feel that it isn't too. We want to believe what we are reading has weight, that it matters, and that becomes impossible once Pinkie starts acting this way. It solidifies that, yes, this is fiction, and shouldn't garner any emotional reactions from you. Really, name one fanfiction, just one, that had Pinkie acting like this, acting so overtly, that isn't a comedy and was actually good. You can't, can you, because they don't exist.
I very strongly suggest you take this chapter down and rewrite Pinkie before going any further, because as it is now, she's not only the worst thing about the story yet, she damn near ruins it and I'm personally tempted to switch my upvote over. Self-referential humor can be fun, but omniscient characters are not. This chapter turned this story from one I eagerly awaited updates for to something I hardly want to finish.
I wonder if the elements will restore Fluttershy. They are the Deus ex Machina after all.
I'm commenting to let you know that I am always happy to read this story. Thank you for some great fic! I was reading another story that was giving a great glimpse into what it would be like with Nightmare Moon but the story took a 180 and she wasn't in it as much. I love reading about the world in night and how you portray our favorite characters in it.
Keep up the great work!
Blacked out just in case.
The plants are doing just fine right now and will be for the foreseeable future. And when ponies find out why... well... most of you thought Tirek was bad... *maniacle laughter.* Also I wonder if that counts as spoilers?
I saw this sentence before the comments and all sorts of warning bells started to go off in my mind. I suspect Nightmare Moon banished Celestia to the plants/planet/earth/whatever and they are literally eating parts of her alive. *shudders* Yes, I would say that BAD.
"through no fault of the enrichment center, you have died"
~GLaDOS, on vampirification
6:45
I have been following this series since its conception and i love it, but i have to say that this is the worst chapter of the series so far. Why? Pinkie Pie.
OK, i'm going to recommend you cut the fourth wall breaking Pinkie Pie right now, she could kill this story.
1. She doesn't fit the tone of the story at all, this is a darker story with the threat of violence breaking out at a moments notice always on the mind, Pinkie just kills both that tone and tension.
2. Having Pinkie be a fourth wall breaker turns her into a gimmick rather than a character, the bit where she hugs Twilight should be an emotional moment, but it feels hollow and undeserved because THIS Pinkie isn't a character and there has been no build up to it.
3. It breaks the readers immersion into the story.
See, the reason Pinkie as a fourth wall breaker worked in your Avatar series was because that series was a crossover of sorts and Pinkie was aware of the two combining stories, but not the one she was in, so she didn't kill tension, she was comic relief. Even than, she stopped the 4th wall breaking part way through and that was when she got more interesting anyway. And even than, she still got less screen time than the rest of the main 6, Spike, the CMC, and even Blueblood got more character.
I know Pinkie Pie can tough to write, but even a dull Pinkie Pie would be better than this. Bare in mind that you made Twilight an earth pony for this story, so if you want to maintain the "two of each tribe" thing for the Elemets of Harmony (and we all know they will play some role in the story), you can demote Pinkie to extra and up any unicorn to lead status.
So yeah 2.5/5 chapter for a normally 4.5/5 series.
7683928 I believe it's actually far simpler than that.
In chapter 11 Nightmare Moon told Twilight and Moondancer that she has stripped Celestia of her power. The moon is probably constantly emitting some healthy portions of sunlight, or something like that. But I like the idea of Celestia being fed to the earth/plants.
7683928 7684937 Flurry Heart's feathers, you two are dark. I support this headcannon as well!
7682799
Nope
This bit actually makes more sense than the show's gala episode. Aj was trying to sell food at a party that had a free buffet. Doesn't make any sense that shed make much. In this case she is providing the buffet thus the crown is paying her. So she actually makes money this time around.
So four of the mane six will be at the Gala, at the palace, were the shattered elements are, now we just need Fluttershy and Rainbow to go too and then...
I would not be surprised if either AJ or Big Mac got turned into wolfponies. Or Apple Bloom. Maybe all 3 of them. Prooobably not Granny Smith though.
And suddenly, rock farming became the single most lucrative buisiness in all Equestria.
THE PINK COMETH!
...Sooo, are we talking the usual Pinkie Pie, Pinkie turned up to 11, or something like Chaos Goddess Pinkie from the MLP Infinite Loops?
Nevermind on my comment for last chapter, perhaps Rainbow was just being Rainbow.
She's fitting into the role far too well.
You mean Nightmare Moon, I guess.
Yeah...yeah...
You're looking for "teething".
I like this chapter though! Gettin shit done :D
Borderline evil? She's practically the Pony Hitler.
9654905
Except she isn't killing all the pony Jews. Also, I thought Starlight had the title of Pony Hitler.
Me: *ROARING LAUGHTER*
...... Foreshadowing?