S3 CH 3: Gilda
Twilight screamed.
Gilda shrieked, jumping back.
Moondancer rolled to her hooves, her horn alight and forming a glowing, white barrier of magic around the griffon.
Spike glanced up. “Keep it down!” he yelled, before laying his head back down.
Twilight stared at the griffon towering over her, now imprisoned in magic. She gulped and then motioned to Moondancer. “It’s okay, it’s Gilda. You scared me half to death. Why were you standing over me like that?”
“I was waking you up, pony!” the griffon snapped. “What in the world are you doing here? When I heard there was some representative of HER coming here, I didn’t realize it’d be you. And why isn’t Rainbow here with you?”
“Because she has her own work. Um, Moondancer, you can take the spell down.”
“Huh? Oh. Right. Yes...” the unicorn mumbled, before giving a yawn. “I’m gonna go get some breakfast, mkay? I don’t think I could rest after that,” she mumbled, before glancing to Spike. “Wanna come?”
“No… sleepin’...” he mumbled.
“Suit yourself...” the unicorn muttered, before getting to her hooves. “I’ll be in the mess tent...”
Twilight nodded, before glancing to Gilda and pausing while she waited for her heart to stop pounding. “I need to ask you some questions. Are you going to be at the meeting?”
“Yes, but what could be so important you had to come here? Write a letter next time,” Gilda snapped, ignoring Moondancer when she trotted out. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Why not?”
“Because last time I was anywhere near you, all those… things started popping up. And then Nightmare Moon got involved. The last thing any of us need here is Nightmare Moon.”
Twilight blinked a few times before, slowly, her eyes narrowed. “What’s going on here, anyway?”
Gilda sighed, reaching a talon up and covering her face with it. “Listen, pony. I like you.”
“Really?”
“No. I honestly don’t. But RAINBOW likes you. And she’s cool. So I’m TRYING to keep you out of trouble. More importantly, you’re aiming to bring a whole lot of hurt down on all of our heads. So just get what you need and get out. For your own good and ours.”
Twilight frowned, her eyes narrowing. Finally, she shook her head. “Fine. What I need, though, is information.”
“On what?”
“Changelings.”
The griffon froze, her entire body going still. “… Why would I know anything about changelings? What have you heard?”
“You were on the mission to destroy the throne. I need information on what the changelings were like.”
Gilda blinked a few more times, staring at her. Finally, she spoke up. “Wait. That’s all? Why would you need that?”
“It’s a long story, you see I--” Twilight started.
“Very long. She won’t shut up about it,” Spike cut her off before rolling over and yanking a pillow over his head.
The earth pony sighed. “Come on, let’s go somewhere else,” she muttered, before trotting towards the exit, the griffon behind her. “I’m trying to work with their ruler, Chrysalis. I want to know what it is they all had planned, why, all of that.”
Gilda snorted. “Why? You ponies already won. Trying to rack up a high score?”
“… What?”
“Nothing.”
“And no, I want to find out who and what they are because it’s possible we can help them. The only changeling I have access to right now is Chrysalis, though. She’s refusing to talk to me. I’ve tried looking in the library, but the only information I can find on changelings at all was in the reports we filed. As it is, the six of you are the foremost experts on changelings in Equestria right now, as hard as that may be to believe.”
Gilda rolled her eyes. “Not quite as hard to believe as you’d think...” she mumbled.
“Huh?”
“Nothing. Here,” she said, before trotting into another large tent. “Red, you here?”
Twilight froze when she walked into the tent. It seemed to be a mix of a medical tent and an apothecary. There was a red coated earth pony with a golden mane stirring a massive cauldron, occasionally tossing in ingredients. Opposite the cauldron was a cot with a pony laying on it, covered from head to tail in bandages and wiggling about furiously. Standing over the bandaged pony was another red pony, this one a pegasus with red and white striped mane. That pony glanced over and gave a small smile.
“Gilda? What seems to be the problem?” the mare asked, smiling to her.
Twilight stared at the bound up pony. “Ummmm… are… they okay?”
“Legendary? Oh, he’s fine,” the mare said dismissively. “He just needs to rest off one of Ash’s brews,” she said, before motioning towards the pony stirring the cauldron. “On top of a very, very nasty burn from a shock scorpion.”
“Hey,” Ash said without even looking up, instead trotting to a small vial filled with a red substance and then dumping it out into the cauldron. Red steam started to rise off it, making the mare give a giddy giggle before she raced to it and started stirring it in reverse.
Gilda blinked. “Wait. He didn’t drink one, did he?”
“Not willingly,” Red offered. “Don’t worry, I checked before hoof. Now then, what can I do for you two? You must be… Twilight, correct? The captain mentioned we’d be meeting this afternoon. Are you hurt?”
“Uhhh...” Twilight said, unsure how to respond. She glanced back towards the bound up, thrashing pony. “I’m… fine.”
“She wanted to know more about the changelings, that’s all. I thought you’d be the best pony to talk to about that,” Gilda offered, pushing the earth pony closer to the pegasus.
“I figured that’d be you. But Red has certainly studied them enough,” Ash muttered dismissively before tossing a few seeds into the pot.
“Oh! Yes! They’re positively amazing creatures. Quite friendly!” Red said before moving back to her patient.
“Nggggggg!” the bound pony thrashed.
“Now, stop being so bothersome, Legendary. You should try to rest and relax for your own good, okay? Doctor’s orders. Now then, what did you want to know, Twilight?” Red asked.
“Huh? Oh. Right. Err… are you sure he’s okay?” Twilight asked.
“It’ll wear off soon. Probably,” Ash mumbled. “Delusion potions can always be a bit finicky...”
“He’ll be fine. Mostly,” Red said with a shrug. “He’s just a tad annoyed. He’ll be right as rain in a few days. Possibly sooner if he’ll calm down. Now then, your questions?”
“Oh, err. Right. Wait, delusion potion? Err… why would you make a delusion potion?”
“Was supposed to help clear up indigestion,” the earth pony mumbled before grinding up some small bugs and tossing them into the pot. “Had to wing it. Was close enough...”
“… We ran out of our standard and well… it turns out Legendary had a bit of a reaction to the cactus surprise that Smooth made the other night. With his burns, I trusted Ash to help. It didn’t have the standard effects some of her… other brews did, and it did seem to help. Just the… side effects are a bit strong. He’ll be fine. I’m sure once the effects have worn off, he’ll be right as rain,” Red assured her.
Twilight nodded, thankful they’d come in so late and not actually had any of that particular cooking. She’d have hated to end up digesting whatever… She paused when she watched the earth pony toss in some golden dust into the pot. She had absolutely no idea WHAT potion making procedures the mare was taking, or what she could be brewing. She’d been making a mental tally of what ingredients she could identify going in and she was certain that it didn’t follow any recipe she knew. “I’d like to know about the changelings themselves. I’m trying to work with Chrysalis and I need as much information as I can gather on them as possible.”
“Oh dear. I’m afraid you won’t get much information from us. We barely even encountered any while we were there,” the pegasus said. “And all of our information on them was put into our reports. Well, except the one we met was quite sweet. Others… not so much. I’m really sorry to say that I think you’ve wasted your time coming here.”
Twilight sighed. “I… know it might sound odd, but I really have to gather what information I can on the changelings. Find out something, anything, I can use to get their ruler to listen to me. Can you remember anything about their culture? How they acted? The things they said? Even things they liked to eat?”
“Thorax really likes cinnamon rolls,” Ash suddenly said, before gripping another bottle and trotting it over to the cauldron. She tossed the entire bottle in and then paused. “Wait, was this supposed to be a cleaning detergent or a medical paste?”
“… You told me it was to help with Glimmer’s helmet rash,” Red said quickly, turning to gaze at the cauldron with concern.
Ash stared at the bubbling cauldron, blinking a few times. “Oh… eh. It’ll be fine,” she said before pulling out the wooden spoon from the cauldron. Or, at least, what remained of the heavily burned, charred wood.
Twilight stared at them, her eyes locked on the steam rising from the cauldron. Gilda leaned down. “Psst. If Ash gives you anything to drink or rub on yourself? Don’t. Just trust me. Don’t touch it unless Red has given the okay. Some of her stuff is great. Other stuff… not so much.”
“Uhhh… right,” the earth pony said, still staring at the sizzling mass. She then blinked. “Wait. Who’s Thorax?”
Red and Gilda both tensed up. Ash, however, didn’t look up from her cauldron. “He’s the--”
“Nickname for Legendary!” Gilda said quickly. “Cause he’s kind of a pain in the, err, you know. And he likes to fight with a big, clunky battle axe. So we called him old sore axe.”
“NGGHHHGRRRRRR!” the bandaged pony yelled.
“… And… he likes… cinnamon rolls,” Twilight said softly.
“Yes,” Red said quickly. “Loves them. Now, on the matters of changelings, I’m afraid we don’t--”
BOOM!
Twilight’s eyes widened when everything went still. A moment later, an anger filled roar filled the air. “What was THAT?” she asked.
“Sounds like the sand crab and tatzlwurm are at it again,” Gilda said with a sigh. “Hey. Twilight. Come see this, you’ll love it. Trust me.”
“Huh? But I need to--”
“Come on!” Gilda said quickly, gripping her hoof and dragging her out of the tent.
The earth pony stumbled after the griffin. SOMETHING was going on here and, somehow, she’d have to figure it out. She just hoped Moondancer was having a more successful morning than she was.
------
Moondancer stepped out of the tent, rolling her eyes when Gilda and Twilight talked. She couldn’t imagine WHY the griffon would think towering over one of them first thing in the morning like that was a good idea. Even if it wasn’t technically morning since the sun never actually rose. Judging by the position of the moon, at least, it was still really early. It felt so, so good to have a shifting sky again, even if it was dark. She trotted towards the mess tent, pausing only a moment to glance up at the wall. “Morning,” she called out to the pony up top.
“Err, hello, ma’am!” the pegasus up top said, giving a small wave. “Have a great day!”
She nodded to him. He reminded her a little of the guards back home. White coated. His mane was gray speckled, though. He, at least, was in full uniform at least. A proper guard. She made her way into the mess tent and paused.
Smooth was there, sitting at one of the tables speaking to a unicorn and a pair of pegasi, none of which were in uniform. She shook her head and kept trotting, pouring herself a cup of coffee. It was too early in the morning. Because she would swear that one of the pegasi was an exact copy of the pony she saw on the wall. She took another glance back and rolled her eyes. Way too early in the morning, they looked nothing alike.
One of the pegasi were red with a red and white striped mane, while the other was light green with a light blue mane. The unicorn had a dark blue coat with a dark green mane. She gave another light yawn. “Good morning,” she mumbled. “Early risers?” she asked.
“When you’re in the military, you kind of have to be,” Smooth said with a laugh. “Though, not sure it really counts with the sun not really being a morning now. But sun or not, the captain has strict guidelines for anypony who sleeps in too long.”
“Oh?” Moondancer asked.
“Yup. She lets me deal with them!”
The unicorn blinked at the shudder the red pegasus gave. It was way, way too early. She took another sip of her coffee.
“So, looking forward to a day of snail catching?” Smooth asked.
“Slugs,” she corrected. She glanced at the smattering of breakfast, mostly vegetables. She gripped a plate in her magic and tossed a few pieces of broccoli on it, before walking over to them. “Mind if I sit here?”
“Go right ahead,” Smooth said. “Let me introduce you, since we’ll all be chatting later anyway. Private Red Heart,” she said, motioning to the red pegasus. “She’s our medic.”
“A pleasure, ma’am,” the mare said with a nervous smile.
“Private Bouncing Breeze and Private Coldstone, they’re our resident emergency ipecac.”
The pegasus blinked and then hmphed. “I’m Bouncing, nice to meet you,” the mare said, before reaching out and taking Moondancer’s hoof, shaking it. “I was so, so, SO happy to hear you were coming!”
“You were?” Moondancer asked, staring bleary eyed at the other mare. “Have… we met?”
“Oh, no no no no! But we’ve heard so much about you! Well, a bit about you. Sometimes. Things! Moondancer, personal student of Celestia AND Nightmare Moon?” Those words cut through her like a knife. “You must be incredibly talented! I’d love to ask you all about it!”
“Err… okay? I just--”
“What’s your favorite spell? Can you do enchanting? How were you selected? Can you do ice magic? Have you met my husband, Coldstone? He’s the best ice mage in all of Equestria. Have you ever teleported? Can you turn into different things? What’s it like to be able to like… magically refresh yourself in the morning? Can you make potions?”
Moondancer just stared at the mare. There were absolutely no words. She didn’t even know how to respond. She felt like she was being ran over by the pony, but with words. “… I take it you’re a morning pony?”
“Yup! I loooove mornings. Well, they’re not as nice, now that the sun isn’t up. But they’re still pretty wonderful. It was a great morning today, though. Normally I have morning wall duty, which is sooooo boring. But it’s not always too bad. It means I get to have the perfect view when honey bun climbs out of his tent,” she said with a content sigh, glancing over to the unicorn.
He just merely smiled back, a little hint of red to his cheeks. “What can I say? Seeing my beautiful little pegasus is worth waking up for every morning...”
Bouncing leaned into the stallion, who gently wrapped his hooves around her. “I love you...” she whispered, staring up at him. “Have I told you that?”
“You have, but say it again...” he whispered back.
“I love you… my brave, strong, protective, loving...”
“Huh. I think she made it almost a whole conversation without devolving into… that,” Smooth said with a roll of her eyes. “As I said, emergency ipecac.”
“I take it they took the name honeymooner’s seriously?” Moondancer asked flatly, glancing to Smooth with a cocked eye. It was way, way too early for her to even get annoyed at such silly displays.
“More or less.”
“Should try going on a mission with them,” Red muttered, shaking her head. “Even I wanted to start throwing rocks at them.”
Smooth snickered, shaking her head. “Hey, I’ve been working with those two like a year, think of it as a proper initiation. Besides, I thought you liked that kind of stuff?”
“I wish I could turn into a parasite so I could burrow into your skin and be even closer to you, my wonderful guardian...” Bouncing said softly.
“If you were, I’d never get deloused, my little flying fairy...” he said back, gently stroking her mane.
“Riiiiight,” Smooth said, getting to her hooves. “Welp, I think I’m going to try and not go and throw up. Care to join me, Moondancer?”
Moondancer gave the pair another look, before getting to her hooves as well, following the mare. “I’ll come with you.” The two quickly made their way out of the tent. “Those two were on the mission for the throne, right? How did they get selected?”
“Oh, them? They’re really good fighters. A bit uhhh… off about it, when they do it. But good. And when you add Gilda to the mix? Oh boy...” Smooth said with a light chuckle. “Apparently they were going to have a hydra riding competition until Bouncing accidentally made it run into a cliff side.”
Moondancer paused. “Apparently? Weren’t you there?”
“Errr… yes. But I was scouting at the time, so I missed all the fun. A shame, too. I would have definitely won the hydra riding competition!”
“… Really?” Moondancer asked, looking the pegasus up and down.
“Buck no! I’m not insane!” she said with a laugh.
Moondancer snickered, shaking her head. “I see. So, have you served here long?”
“About a year, now. So, where’s Twilight? I figure we got a bit of time until the little meeting. I could show you all the slugs. I’m sure the two of you would love to get out of here and see the sights. We have some real quality sand out there, you know. And hey, if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll even see a--”
BOOM!
Moondancer jumped nearly three feet in the air, before whipping around. “What in the buck was THAT?!”
“Sand crab,” Smooth said quickly.
“… How in the BUCK is that a sand crab?” A roar pierced the air a moment later. “That’s a--”
“Tatzlwurm. Don’t worry, it’s fine. Those two go at it all the time. Now, about those slugs--”
“No, nope, what? Tatzlwurm? Sand crab? WHAT? How is a tiny little sand crab making, what?!”
Smooth blinked a few times, then a mischievous grin formed on her lips. “Tiny little sand crab? Oh, you are from the city. You wanna come see? Come on. It’ll be fun!” She flew up into the air, heading towards the western wall, the one facing the Badlands.
Moondancer raced after her, a frown on her lips.
------
“… Holy buck,” Moondancer whispered, her eyes narrowed on the sight ahead of them. She just stared, it was all she could do.
Twilight stared with a look of pure glee. “Oh my gosh. I have never SEEN a sand crab that was so massive! I wish I could get a sample!”
Smooth chuckled, eyeing the two and giving a small sigh of relief. Off in the distance two massive behemoths fought. The sand crab, nearly as big as the fort, its sandy body covered in gashes and cuts, dripping sand in all directions. The tatzlwurm, a massive plant-like sand worm and one of the few things in the desert that could challenge such a behemoth. The two were slowly moving from side to side, eyeing each other, snapping threateningly but not making any moves towards each other yet. The sand crab leaped into the air, creating yet another boom that rocked the fort when it landed.
“Yeahhhhhh. Welcome to the Badlands,” Smooth said with a light chuckle.
“Err… are we in any actual danger?” Twilight asked, glancing back to the pegasus.
“Gosh no, they’ve learned their lesson after the last time they came too close.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“Gilda and Bouncing. Then Coldstone rammed an icicle right up its… aaaaaanyway. She’s a bad influence on her, you know.”
The earth pony blinked a few times. “Which… one?”
“Yes,” Smooth offered, eyeing the beast. “I wouldn’t worry. Those two go at it all the time, you get used to it. Take a picture if you like, it makes a great postcard.”
Twilight nodded, eyeing the creatures again. The crab jammed a claw forward, only for the tatzlwurm to weave under it. Just watching the two beasts move felt strange. “… Wait. Those things are on the edges of the Badlands? What does that… what’s actually in them, then?”
Smooth shrugged. “Eh. Stuff. But if the dragons DO decide to try and come through them, I don’t envy their chances,” she said with a snicker.
“You aren’t actually scared of those over sized grubs, are you?” Gilda asked with a snicker, glancing down at the pair of ponies. “Seriously? Nightmare Moon is way scarier than anything those two could do.”
“I don’t know about that...” Twilight mumbled. She cringed when the tatzlwurm managed to coil around and crush one of the massive crab’s pinchers, making it crumble to sand. The crab stepped back, only to have a new, smaller pincher begin to form from the sand. “How did you even end up here, Gilda? Last I heard you were with Rainbow, hanging at her place.”
Gilda groaned. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I spent forever just sitting on my rump. Didn’t have any idea what I was going to do. Meanwhile I’ve got lil miss Shadowbolt coming back once every week or so, gushing about some super awesome thing she’s done. I finally had it once she told me how she’d gone out east on some secret mission. I told her I was going out for a few weeks, had to do some griffon things, decided to go on my OWN adventures.” The griffon smirked. “Fought a few hydras, tamed a manticore. You know, easy stuff,” she said with a smirk.
“And you ended up here?”
“Nah. Ended up in the dragon lands, with half my feathers singed off,” she said with a laugh.
Twilight froze, her mouth falling open. “Wait, WHAT?!”
“Yeahhhhh. Turns out that the dragons aren’t too keen on you flying near them. Especially now. Ended up crash landing. If not for Thorax I’d have bitten it there. We--”
“Wait, Thorax? Legendary?” Twilight asked.
The griffon blinked and then coughed. “Y-yeah. He kind of saved my butt. Was grounded for a while, but you know. We got out of there, had to sneak out of the lands, wasn’t easy. Ended up in the forbidden jungle, ended up crossing it, then the Badlands. Ended up finding our way here. Well, Red and… Red found us. Was only like, eh, I don’t know. Not long. Doubt anypony even noticed I was gone. Then everything with those changelings came up and, well, we agreed to help since they needed it. Asking ponies to do that kind of stuff? Just asking for trouble.”
“We?” Twilight asked, her eyes narrowing. “You and Legendary?”
“Yes!” Smooth said quickly. “Legendary agreed to stay here and help out, while Gilda went with them to--”
“Them?” the earth pony asked, turning to Smooth. There was a loud crashing sound behind her from the crab slamming into the ground, tripped by the tatzlwurm. “Okay, that’s it. SOMETHING is going on here,” she snapped. “What are you ponies hiding? Because you’re all TERRIBLE at it!”
Smooth chuckled. “H-hey, it’s not like that. We’re not hiding anything. We’re all just… nervous. That’s all.”
“Nervous. Why?” she asked coldly.
“Because, I don’t know, a representative of Nightmare Moon, the scariest thing in all of Equestria is here, in our little outpost? Sorry, make that two? Trust me, we have nothing at all to hide. Everything is fine.”
Moondancer opened her mouth to speak, then stopped. Her eyes narrowed and she stared past the mare. “Nothing to hide?”
“Nothing at all.”
“You sure about that?”
“Y-yes?”
“You can really see the whole camp, up here on this wall,” Moondancer said, motioning deeper into the camp.
“Oh bucking...” Gilda said, before face taloning.
Twilight and Smooth looked into the camp. Red had just walked out of the dining tent.
However, on the opposite side of the outpost, Red was also coming out of the medical tent, carrying, very carefully, a small bucket.
Twilight and Moondancer glanced to Smooth, then to Gilda. The griffon sighed. “I told you this wasn’t going to work… Listen. Twilight. You’re Rainbow’s friend, right? So… just be cool. Okay? It’s cool. Everything is cool. But no freaking out. Got it?”
The earth pony slowly nodded. “Agreed...”
“Good. Thorax! Get your flank up here!” she yelled. As if on queue, a shriek of pain tore through the night when the crab finally managed to pinch the tatzlwurm, sending it scurrying underground.
The Red coming out from the mess tent turned. Slowly, she hung her head and spread her wings, flying up and landing next to them. Behind them, the sand crab performed its victory dance, moving from side to side.
“So… like. Remember to just be cool. Okay? Stay cool.” Gilda reached a hand down and patted Red on the back. “Meet Thorax. Go on, show them.”
The pegasus sighed before her body erupted in green flame. A moment later, a pony didn’t stand in front of them at all. Instead, a small changeling. “H-hi...” he said softly.
“Don’t freak out, he’s cool! Really!” Gilda said quickly.
Moondancer stared, her mouth almost hitting the floor.
Twilight just stared, before letting out a giddy squeal and clapping her hooves together. “Oh my gosh, this is PERFECT! I have so many questions!”
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Thorax is still doomed. Just not the way he expected.
And yeah. They really ARE terrible at this aren't they. Good thing Gilda knows Twilight.
Can't wait to see what this bunch have been up to now we aren't lying badly about everything.
This made the chapter.
i going to guess nightmare moon already knew about changeling at the fort somehow and keep and eye on him somehow
Bahaha XD Yup, it was pretty easy to pick up that there was something involving changelings. I look forward to hearing more of THIS little side adventure!
Sorry Thorax, but you're on the receiving end of Nightmare Moon advisor bookworm that wants to know everything about changelings.
At least if NMM blasted you with magic it would've been over in a second.
Is this Thorax still a lotus eater, or does he have a bit of spine to him?
In the last chapter, I said somepony is secretly a Changeling..... I got it, but the result was nothing what I expected...
Thorax RUNNNNNNNNN
Hahaha, I love Twilight's reaction.
9751197
I know, right?! Lavender would probably prefer if they were a bit better at lying. On the other hand, it does make it easier for her to know when they ARE lying. Thorax is so doomed...
9751202
Would you believe I almost didn't include that?
9751215
Mayyyyybe.
9751217
I can be subtle when I want to be!
9751246
I know, right?! He has to face the true terror of Equestria... Twilight's autobiography.
9751252
Fixed... oops.
9751529
He's a lover not a fighter.
9751784
Really? Who'd you expect?
9751945
Do you think he could possibly out run a curious Twilight?
9751983
Her reactions are always so fun to write.
9752007
Everypony in that camp
Ah. It's an outpost run by changelings (and Gilda).
Makes sense. After all, he is a cinnamon roll :P.
9751215
My guess is that shadow magic can see through a changelings disguise and can't be faked due to how exclusive it is
Rainbow Dash on a secret mission east? Wonder what that could be referencing....
This week, on Death Battle!
(You've gotta write this one.)
Oh, she's freaking out alright, just not in the way you'd expect.