S3 CH 26. Something Inbetween
“I just want to know if she’s okay,” a voice said, making Twilight pause.
“We’re sorry, miss, but Moondancer is not allowed any visitors right now,” the guard said. “Especially from somepony who won’t even give her name.”
Twilight’s eye narrowed and she peered around the corner at the strange pegasus in front of the guards. She had a yellow coat, striped red mane and judging by her shape, an athlete of some kind. She couldn’t recognize her, though.
“Please, just for a moment,” the pegasus begged. “I just need to know she’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” the guard said again. “Our orders are clear. Nopony sees Moondancer except those she specifically allows. We have orders to even keep Nightmare Moon herself out if it comes to it.”
“I just want to know she’s okay,” the pegasus said again.
“She’ll be fine,” the guard said. “Other than that, you’ll need to wait for an official announcement.”
“I shouldn’t be hearing about it from the paper!” the pegasus yelled.
The guard gave an annoyed sigh. “Wait, aren’t you a reporter of some kind?”
That made the pegasus freeze before, finally, she shook her head. “Never mind. Forget it,” she said before turning away.
Twilight blinked a few times and cocked her head to the side. Strange. Did she really think she’d be let in without revealing who she was? If she wasn’t a reporter, though, why did she want in so badly? She trotted towards her. The moment the guard saw her she quickly shook her head, cutting him off. He looked at her curiously, but didn’t say a word when she passed him and followed the pegasus down the hall. “Hello? Miss?”
“Hmmm?” the pegasus asked before glancing back at her. “Err… hello? Can… I help you?”
“Yes,” Twilight said. “I hear you were trying to speak with Moondancer?”
“Oh,” the mare said before rolling her eyes. “I wouldn’t waste your time. Apparently only those she said specifically to let in can see her.”
“I see,” Twilight said, her eye narrowing. Well, at least the mare didn’t seem to recognize her. Granted, she didn’t blame her. SHE didn’t recognize her these days. A weird horn on her forehead, an eye patch covering one eye and a saddlebag to cover her wing. She practically looked like a brand new pony. Well, enough like a new pony that nopony thought she was Twilight after they realized she was a ‘unicorn’. She’d enjoy the anonymity while it lasted. “Are you a friend of hers?”
“No,” the pegasus said. “I’m her… err. Who are you again?”
“I’m a friend,” Twilight said, before feeling a moment of worry. Oh crud. What should she say her name was? If she said Twilight, then surely the pony would recognize her. “Sparkle.”
“Sparkle, huh?” the pegasus said, before sighing. “Never heard of you.”
“And you are?” Twilight asked.
The pegasus gave a soft sigh before glancing down the hall towards the guards. “Promise not to tell her I was here if I tell you? I really don’t want her knowing I was here.”
“I promise I’ll tell her what you looked like and that you were looking for her if you don’t,” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes.
“Don’t!” the pegasus said quickly. “Sundancer. I’m her sister. Was her sister. Am her sister. It’s… complicated.”
Twilight’s eye went wide. “Wait, you’re her sister? Why didn’t you say so? If Moondancer knew you were here then--”
“Don’t!” Sundancer said quickly. “Don’t. Please. Trust me. It’s better she doesn’t know I’m here. If she did, it would just hurt her more.”
“Hurt her more?” Twilight asked. “What happened?”
“That’s not really important right now,” Sundancer said. “I just… you said you’re her friend, right? Is she okay? Is she going to be okay?”
Twilight was silent for a long moment after that. How to answer that? Would Moondancer be okay? Well… “She’ll survive.”
“That doesn’t answer the question,” Sundancer said.
“I don’t know,” Twilight said.
“What happened to her?” Sundancer asked. “Why won’t anypony tell me what happened?”
Twilight gave a soft sigh before shaking her head. “Bad things happened. I’m not sure how long it’ll take her to recover. Physically, she’ll be fine. Emotionally…”
“Please, Sparkle,” Sundancer said gently. “I’m not even supposed to be here. But I need to know. The only thing I know is from the papers, that she just got out of the hospital just to be admitted a few hours later with life threatening injuries. What happened?”
Twilight gave another soft sigh. How could she tell the sister of her friend that Moondancer had been nearly killed by a queen who was throwing a temper tantrum over her rescue attempt? That now Moondancer was one part unicorn, one part earth pony and one-half part pegasus? That in the end the only reason she was still alive wasn’t because of anything they’d done, but some words from TIREK of all ponies? That now her sister was permanently deaf in one ear and struggling to even work up the will to lift her head? To tell her that the unicorn Moondancer had been shattered to the point she was only a shadow of her former self?
How could Twilight tell her any of that?
“It’s complicated,” Twilight said. “But I’m doing the best I can. I’m sure if you came and saw her she--”
“No,” Sundancer said. “Trust me. It’d just make things worse right now. I just wanted to see her. To know she’d be okay. That’s enough. If she’ll be okay, that’s fine. You’re uhhh… how close are you to her?”
“Just a little,” Twilight said.
“Is it true what they say about her?” Sundancer asked.
“None of the bad,” Twilight said almost instantly. “If you mean what the papers are saying? No. They’re mostly lies.”
Sundancer gave a small nod and smiled. “Good. Thanks. I uhhh… I mean, I suspected. With all the letters Moondancer used to send me, I never thought she’d… nevermind. Thank you, Sparkle. Just… help her where you can. Okay? Please.” The pegasus gave a soft sigh and hung her head.
“Are you sure you won’t talk to her?” Twilight asked. “I’m sure she--”
“I just wanted to see her for a moment,” Sundancer said softly. “Just know she was okay. But it’s really better if she doesn’t see me. It’s a… sister thing, I guess. You always want to protect your little sister, you know? Even when you’re terrible at it. Do you have any sisters?”
“Only a big brother,” Twilight said softly. “But, yeah. He’d do anything to keep me safe.”
“Then you kind of know what it’s like,” Sundancer said, a weak smile on her lips. “But there’s always things we can’t protect those we care about from. It makes being the big sister pretty hard. Thanks, though. I’m happy Moondancer has some good ponies keeping an eye out for her. Err. Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”
“I know,” Twilight said with a light chuckle. “Don’t worry, it’s just a turn of phrase.”
“Yeah,” Sundancer said sheepishly. “It’s, err, a very nice eye patch.”
“Thanks, I just got it,” Twilight said.
That made the smile on her lips fall. “Wait, so you just--”
“Just a small infection,” Twilight lied. “Nothing to worry about. I do need to go see Moondancer, though. So, uhhh, if you’re sure you don’t want to come, then I should go.”
“I’m sure. Thank you, Sparkle,” Sundancer said before turning and walking away.
Twilight stared at her before sighing and trotting back towards the door. The guard stepped aside and she walked into the room.
It smelled sterile, incredibly sterile. Moondancer was sleeping on her left side, her back to the door. However, when the door opened she stirred and glanced over at her. “Twilight?”
“Moondancer,” Twilight said softly. “How are you doing today?”
“Better,” Moondancer said with a light chuckle before starting to sit up, though she let out a hiss of pain. “Turns out being an alicorn, or whatever we are now, comes with great healing abilities. They say I’ll likely be fully healed in another week or so. How uhhh, are things okay back at the castle?”
Twilight nodded, struggling to force a smile on her lips. “They’re… fine. Spike is worried about you.”
“And uhhh, how about her?” Moondancer asked.
Twilight gave a soft sigh and shrugged. “I don’t know. I barely see her. Ever since… that, she’s been avoiding me. Everypony, I think. It’s like she’s scared. Repairs are going well, though. They, uhhh, have the kitchen back in order.”
“Yeah, I was a bit worried about it after I went flying through the stove,” Moondancer said with a light, half hearted chuckle. “I uhhh…”
“I know,” Twilight said. “You know you don’t have to come back. What she did to you, she…”
“I won’t leave you alone with her,” Moondancer said softly. “Not now. Not ever again.”
“This isn’t your responsibility,” Twilight said softly.
“It’s not yours, either,” Moondancer said. “Besides, if you don’t have me, who’s going to teach you magic?”
“I’m getting much better!” Twilight said quickly, her cheeks burning red. “I can open doors now and I am able to hold up three books at once.”
Moondancer gave a light snicker. “It figures. A mind that likely knows more about magic than half of Canterlot put together… and your grand technique is opening doors and studying three books at once. Truly you are the second coming of Clover the Clever.”
“Well, we can’t all be legendary unicorns who can teleport and face down Nightmare Moon herself,” Twilight said in a teasing tone.
“Are you sure?” Moondancer asked. “I’m sure before long you’ll have a minor in it, maybe a major. Grand Tyrant Sparring.”
Twilight gave a light snicker, a hoof moving up to cover her mouth and stifle it. “I’ll admit, I miss having you there. There’s so much new… everything now. It doesn’t feel right learning about it without you. Comparing notes.”
“Yeah,” Moondancer said. “I don’t know how much of this is being an alicorn, how much is having earth pony and how much is, well… everything else.”
“Yeah,” Twilight said with a small smile, struggling to hold back the tears. She suspected Moondancer was as well.
“So, uhhh. You said you were working on a new book, right?” Moondancer asked.
Twilight froze and closed her eyes, trying to stifle the tears. “Yeah.”
“How is it…”
Twilight just shook her head.
“Twilight,” Moondancer said softly. “You have a--”
“Please, don’t,” Twilight said gently. “I don’t… I can’t.”
“Can’t what?” Moondancer asked.
“I can’t… talk about this without crying…” Twilight said gently. “You’re so hurt, so… I just… please.”
“Twilight, please, just say it,” Moondancer said softly. “I know it’s hard, but please. Just tell me.”
“I can’t see it anymore,” Twilight said gently, the tears starting to fall down her face before she finally just let it out. “I used to believe we could do something. I thought if we tried our hardest, if we worked together. If we did everything right. I thought we could save everypony. I thought we could maybe, just maybe, fix her. I always held onto that light for so, so long. Of course I had doubts and tried to not get my hopes up, but I thought she was getting better. I thought she was…” The tears dripped down her cheeks, splashing to the ground. Matching Moondancer’s own. “For so long I tried to keep it together. But that’s not what this is, is it? There’s no light at the end of the tunnel. There’s no hope. There’s no she’ll get better. She’s always just one bad snap from hurting all of us. From tearing us apart. She nearly killed you, Moondancer. She would have. I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t do anything but watch. She just didn’t care.”
Moondancer nodded, the tears falling down her face as well.
“It’s hopeless, isn’t it? There’s no new dawn, no fresh day. There’s no ‘things will get better’. I can’t pretend they will anymore. I tried to write. I tried so, so hard. I wanted to write something of hope, of belief. Something to just… make it better. Something to lift ponies up during this time. But how? How can I write about hope when I’ve given up on it?” Twilight asked, her voice raising despite herself. “How can I write about ponies saving the world, when it feels like there’s nothing else that can be done? We’re all trapped under the hooves of a tyrant who only cares about us until she decides it’s okay to hurt us again. A constant cycle of it. There’s no beauty, no hope. There’s no…”
“I mean, you got Tirek to help, right?” Moondancer asked. “He came back and stood up to her. That counts for something, right?”
“I don’t even know what he’s doing,” Twilight said softly. “It’s not friendship. It’s… something else. Maybe he’s trying to play us again, I don’t know. But… but… I just… For so long I always had this light. This rainbow. Whenever I hit my darkest moments, whenever the story was too much to bear. Whenever I felt like it was all coming down, crashing around them, I’d remember it. In the darkest hour, when all hope is lost. That’s when the light appears. That’s when an explosion erupts, lighting up the world. Reminding everypony what they fight for. What WE fight for. That no matter how bad it got, there was always hope. There was always some way that the heroes would rise, that they could see that light. But I just… can’t… anymore. That light? That dawn? It’s gone. No matter how hard I try to see it. No matter how deep I reach into myself… I can’t.”
“Twilight?” Moondancer asked.
“Nightmare Moon has snuffed it out, just like she has everything else she puts her hooves on. And I… I hate her,” Twilight finally said. “I hate her for everything she has done. To you, to me. To our friends. To our families. Everything. I just… I want to believe she can be helped. But she can’t, can she? She just… gets worse. Every time I think she’s finally getting better, she just relapses into this. How long until she finally wipes out a city or who knows what else? What happened in the Crystal Empire? It was just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve done more studies. The Crystal Heart wasn’t just some magical trinket. It was an embodiment of light and love. She shattered it. Without a second thought, she shattered it. Like the elements. Like you. Like everything she touches. She says she loves us, but she doesn’t. We’re just an audience to her, one she can destroy the moment it’s convenient.”
“Twilight,” Moondancer said softly. “There’s… I’m sure there’s still some hope. We can--”
“Is this what it feels like?” Twilight asked.
“What?” Moondancer asked.
“Every time I get hurt,” Twilight said. “Is this how you felt each time? So… this?”
Moondancer sighed and gave a small nod. “Yes.”
“I’m so sorry I did this to you, to everypony,” Twilight said gently.
“And you still believed,” Moondancer said. “You still tried. You still rose up for Equestria, despite the risks, the dangers.” Slowly she reached out a hoof and placed it over Twilight’s. “There is a light here. I don’t know where it is. I don’t know what it is. But we’ll find it. All of us. Then you can go back to writing all kinds of happy stories, okay?”
Twilight gave a small, tiny chuckle and nodded, her eyes blurry from the tears before she gently gave Moondancer’s hoof a small squeeze. If nothing else, at least now she better understood how the others had felt, seeing her like this. So hurt.
She’d need to be more careful. She never wanted to feel like this again, nor did she ever want to make anypony else feel like this.
------
Nightmare Moon stared through the small viewing rift she had created, listening to her student and bard speak. Though the night breeze from her vantage point on top of Canterlot Castle was slightly warm, she felt cold and hollow.
They were right, though. Much as she hated to admit it. As much as she felt broken at the notion. They were correct.
There was no dawn. No happy moment. No light at the end of the tunnel.
There was just her. Nightmare Moon. Their fears made incarnate. Even she could no longer deny this. Try as she might to be worthy of their love, all it ever seemed to take was one misstep and everything she worked so hard for came crashing down.
Was it her very nature? The nature of the night?
She closed her eyes and remembered what had drawn her out when her ponies needed her. Those cries for mercy. That belief that the darkness, the night, would shield those too weak to protect themselves. Would hide them. Coddle them. Protect them. How could a pony both be their greatest threat and also their greatest protector? How did she balance those two sides out?
How did Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna co-exist?
The tears trailed down the alicorn’s face and she longed to return to that night, so long ago. When she had first arrived. When she had shattered the Elements of Harmony. If she could just undo all she had done, stop herself from succeeding.
Even if it meant her destruction. Her banishment from her home forever. Even if it meant she lost everything. If she could just undo it all and leave it all better, she would. Just in that moment.
But she was no foal. She knew those feelings would not last forever. Come tomorrow, the day after, it may all return. The anger. The hurt. The feelings of abandonment. She couldn’t protect her ponies. Yet she couldn’t give them up. Why did things have to go down this road? Why must it be impossible to turn around and try again?
Nightmare Moon stared up at her sinking moon. Soon, it would all start again. A new, rising moon. A ‘morning’ as it were. A new dawn.
A mockery.
Nightmare Moon wished, so desperately, that she had somepony to talk to. Somepony to share her grief with. Her pain. But who? Her bard hated her, for every reason. Her sister was… she couldn’t share this with her sister. Nopony else could understand. Nopony else could see. She was the monster they all feared. She was…
No. Perhaps there was one more. One creature in all of Equestria who, in this most terrible, dire of moments, she could look to. Though it sicked her to ask.
But she had to ask now. Otherwise, she might never do it.
“Discord,” Nightmare Moon said softly. “If you can hear us, we require your aid.”
She was greeted by silence.
“We vow we will not try to harm you during this encounter,” the alicorn said. Once more, she was greeted by silence.
“Discord, we know you are there. Somewhere,” Nightmare Moon said, her ire only rising. Of course, the one time she wished him to appear.
She closed her eyes once more. “Please. Discord, we… no. I require your advice. Mock me if you wish. But… I need your help.”
“My my my,” Discord’s voice said in a playful, mocking tone. “The great Queen of Equestria requires the aid of I, a humble spirit of chaos? However could I deny such a once in a lifetime request?”
Nightmare Moon took a slow, deep breath. Oh, this was going to be painful. But she deserved a little pain right now.
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So, we finally see Discord return, and talk with Nightmare.
This is the unexpected turn of events that results in NMM, and Discord, being friends. Or, at least, "I won't kill you today" chat buddies.
Still ... I suspect Twilight ~~Glow~~ Sparkle, the unicorn, super knowledge of magic, will somehow ...
...
Princess of Magic? Of "struggle"? Of Forgiveness? Of ... endurance? Of Pain?
How would you describe what she had been through?
As painful as this was, I am glad Twilight has lost any illusions about Nightmare.
Only by Twilight expressing her true feelings, it appears, can Nightmare take any step toward realizing how bad she is.
Nightmare Moon! Why you ignore your sister?
She's... she's going to do it, isn't she? That crazy witch is actually going to do it.
11317520
Definitely 'I won't kill you today' chat buddies. Princess of acadamia. :P Princess of Tomes. Princess of Librarians. XD
11317658
Yup. It was... not a gentle shock.
11317985
Because family talks are hard. :(
11318257
Depending on what 'it' is? Maybe.
This mist have been really hard to right. But I love that Twilight realized she was experiencing what others had felt for her, and that Moondancer could be the one to offer her hope this time. Friends need each other.
“If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
-Exxlesiastes 4:10-12
And Luna is actually asking for help. I hope Discord will actually be helpful. Its beautiful how signs of hope can come out of a story’s darkest point.
Also, love the Sparkle getting snuck in there. ;)
Oh this is gonna be juicy, though something tells me we will hear some actual wisdom from Discord
11318991
It was really hard to write, tbh. Very good, but... rough. But Twilight... had to say it. And Luna needed to hear it.
11325522
Oh, he has words. And there may be some wisdom in them, in some ways.
Wait, so Moondancer's sister is pony-race swapped in this story too?
11327124
Yup.
11317520
For Twilight, Princess of Hope. She proved that when the times were most bleak, hope will never die. Her actions brought hope to ponies that maybe, just maybe, Nimmy wasn't a tyrant as they though. Maybe, Equestria will survive, even thrive. Maybe, just maybe, it would be for the better down the road. Or at least, there's still hope for normalcy. Still hope for peace. Still hope for Equestria, even under NMM.
Moondancer, Princess of Light. The end of the tunnel, there's always light. No matter how bad your initial position might be, no matter how bad you have gotten it. Everyone deserves their happy ending, their light at the end of the tunnel, and Moondancer will prove that even for a supposed "failure" like her, there will always be resolution.