Every man has an alias, a persona he creates in order to define himself. Now, take that away and what do you have? You'd be left with a hollow shell, waiting for a new alias, a new persona, a new life
900 years ago she made the Rift, a place where only the truly daring would venture. Now, a necromancer sits waiting; she has had many visitors, but tonight's visitor is the most important. this particular visitor has been on the necromancer's mind since she started down this lonely road, and at last their paths will cross.
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Well that was great.
Hope this gets featured and everything and hope it gets updated because I can actually sit down and read this for awile.
personally I think the story midnight moon wrote had a lot more promise than mine, but that's because this isn't going to be as open ended (hopefully). I'll try to keep this updated as much as I can though.
Hm, this is looking very interesting. I'm definitely liking the twists you are putting on things and I'm looking forwards to seeing where it goes. My only little gripe so far is that the causality numbers in the beginning seemed absurdly high, although given the fact that these are necromancers and you later say the war went on for 100 years it is entirely possible that the vast majority of those bodies are very old, especially if they can raid a graveyard to resurrect long-dead bodies.
7608920 truth be told I don't actually remember saying how long the war went on for, my thinking with the two thirds number was that when the lich (and anyone who's read Midnight Moon's story would know who I chose to be the lich) started to attack, she not only attacked Equestria the country, but also every other nation on Equus. Your guess about the age of the bodies in the opening scene is in the ballpark of my idea, as this is based on the idea Midnight Moon came up with for the story My Little Necromancer. However I wont be fleshing out the history, or to a lesser extent the lore, because it's not important to the story I'm trying to tell; the effects of the war however, are quite important and will potentially take up a great deal of the next chapter.
7610277 I haven't read that story, but I definitely understand where you are coming from with the details. I get the feeling the actual necromancy won't be playing too big a part in this based on the description, so the nuts and bolts won't matter since it won't be used. Just make sure you line up what will and will not be possible ahead of time at least in broad strokes and give serious thought to how that will impact the backstory events and everything will be fine. In this case, you have that covered by saying it was more than just Equestria involved, although it might be smart to make a tiny edit to at least hint at that somewhere in the chapter since the implication is that Equestria is going at it alone. You also need to make sure not to do anything that explicitly contradicts raising long-dead corpses because that is a get out of jail free card for building huge undead armies and can leave the door open for something as extreme as taking a page out of the Dresden Files series (which you should read if you haven't already) and making yourself a zombie T-Rex to really get around the numbers barrier.
7610747 huh... I'm gonna have to find the series and give it a good read. But in the way of edits I'll probably start that tomorrow when I'm well rested.
could I ask for clarification? I'm runnin' on fumes today and my puzzler cant puzzle under the circumstances.
7611236 To make it simple, if you can wander into a graveyard/crypt and raise a giant mess of skeletons which are hundreds of years old, you can very easily get an undead army that is larger than the living population since you can access a lot more generations than are currently alive. Every living pony has parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents, great-great-great-grandparents, and so on, the vast majority of whom are dead simply because of age.
7612872 so just don't say that particular tactic couldn't be done? I think I can do that. Also is it bad that when you mentioned an undead T-rex in your last comment I couldn't help but feel like something similar would be an interesting plot point to add in? That maybe somewhere down the line, after the war of course, the Necromancer resurrected prehistoric creatures to aid her in making the Rift, and now they just roam around and graze?
Hm, not bad. This character is in a way mysteriously appealing to me. I want to see more of her
However, don't feel pressed by it. Write when you feel like it and don't let anybody urge you to write. That never ends well... trust me.
Also, if I were you, I'd check the capitalisation of names and beginnings of sentences.
7903745 I... messed up capitalization? I don't even have a witty retort for that, I'm usually good with capitalization. Oh and I have a chapter in the works but I'm waiting till the 1st to finish it.
7904488 It was not in every sentence, but an "equestria" for example crept its way in there.
7905044 ah, well I'll revise it on the 31st. Thanks for mentioning it!