- Member Since 25th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen 9 hours ago
THEJamiboi
I write in my spare time, as a hobby and I would appriciate some feedback on any stories I write here on fimfiction.
THEJamiboi
Joined 25th Nov, 2013 ·
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What do you mean by Lamia and Naga?
So many grammatical errors/spelling mistakes.
It was readable of course, but I had to read sentences from the start more than once to get what you were talking about etc.
Reread your work and/or get and editor.
Other than that, the story is an 8/10.
The sex scene, and the whole domination part were really good.
Got me going, keep at it.
6828286 Snake Woman, upper body of a girl, lower body of a snake.
6828286 That's the type of creature Twilight turns into, lamia/naga means half snake half human... Or in this case half pony, it's the name of their species.
6828598 I do the proof reading myself so I might gloss over some things in that regard because every time I get an editor they change half the story and I just got fed up with it, I'd much rather learn myself.
It's a great story I wish their were more stories with nightwish
6830202 Perhaps I will do more in time. :)
But for now, I got fallout 4 so GOODBYE WORLD! XD
here is a trick i use for self editing. i dont go and edit directly after i finish writing. i will leave a work alone for a while, about a week usually, then go trough it to edit. the reason being, i will no longer be as familar with the writing i just did and will catch a lot more errors.
6836410 I should try that in future, thank you. :) I normally edit the day after.
Oh my fucking god 0-0
That 'counting to 10' part was insane! So well written. tenoutaten
6890998 He barely made it halfway, I enjoyed doing that, I thought that most people did 'reach last number then fall' so I decided to screw with that and not let him get close! XD And he started three times :P
6891006
It was so brilliant. I don't think anything like that has been done in many, if any mind control fics.
6891268 Yay! :D Original ideas are so hard to make, cause you ain't sure if its been done before or not so I hope this is the case. :)