Seven Steadfast Virtues

by Heartless Jay

There is No Lesson Zero: Patience takes over his least favorite episode.

Author's Note:

Don't expect this chapter to be the best. Fair warning, i couldn't think of shit for this one.

The hospital is relatively quite and pleasently vacant. Only a few occupants take up the rooms and time of Ponyville General and her staff. The doctors and nurses work their usually routines. Nothing out of the ordina-

"We need a Doctor!!!! This guy exploded!!!!"

Rainbow Dash bursts into the hospital door with the unconscious and burnt Jay on her back. A ways behind her, the rest of the main six and the seven virtues follow after her. The nurse at the counter nods and two nurses and a doctor rush Jay onto a gurney and wheel him off down the hallway. Just as he vanishes past the doors, the others all arrive.

"Someone needs to contact Princess Celestia." Said Midnight, Virtue of Diligence. "She needs to know we've returned."

Twilight nodded and conjured up some paper and a quill, levitating it to Spike so he can write, then clears her throat.

"Dear Princess Celestia..." She starts, only to be cut off by the teenage drake, Frostbite, Virtue of Humility, take the paper away scribble something and return it to Spike.

"Send it. Now." Commanded the older dragon to the baby. Spike obliged immeadiately.

After a moment, Twilight spoke back up.

"What did you write?" She asked curiously. Frostbite chuckled. "I'll never tell."

Twilight frowned at how cryptic the drake was being but decided to simply wait for Celestia's arrival and Jay's recovery.

~ 7 ~

Meanwhile in the operating room. Jay laid unconscious, wrapped head to toe in bandages on the examination table. Doctor Stable and Nurse Redheart are getting ready to move him into a room for rest when they hear something strange.... Music.... Not really seeming to come from anywhere. Then they hear the patient mutter something.

"And I woke up in the morning..... And stepped outside...... And took a deep breath.... And got up real high..... And screamed at the top of my lungs......"

The nurse approach Jay slowly, before he sat up instantly with a demented smile on his face. "WHAT'S GOING ON!?!?!." The nurse screamed at the doctor recoiled. Jay chuckled before leaping and breaking through the window of his room on the fourth story. He then positioned himself up right and proceeded to sky walk away.

"Dammit Guys.... You know I don't do hospitals." Jay said as he proceed to step off the very air and sky. He headed towards the Carousel Boutique, hoping he could get some decent clothing to wear.

~ 7 ~

After breaking and entering, Jay proceeded to "borrow" Rarity's equipment to fashion himself a new outfit. Twenty minutes later and he has himself a nice black and purple suit vest, black pants and some nice black socks. Now all he needed......

A roar is heard coming from outside. Ponies running around and screaming "Manticore!" whist the monster rampages outside. Jay smiled at his luck.

"Ah.... Plot convenience.... Manticore leather shoes it is...."

The human gently stepped of the air and onto the ground, watching as ponies ran past him from the rampaging monster.

"God......" Jay mumbled. "When did the ponies become such pansies....." He remembers back to a time when the ponies were tough as nails. When a small gang of 4 stallions was fierce enough to take down an army. To when mares were rough and tough but still were beautiful and great in bed..... What? Don't judge! You try being the only human in a land of ponies, zebras, dragons, and shit.

Anyway. Jay walked towards the vicious Manticore, simply thinking of the best way to remove it's hide. As he thinks, the beast corners some familar fillies for those back home. One yellow, one white, and one orange. With cute little capes fluttering on their backs. They had their backs to the wall and had their eyes closed ready to face the end. The Manticore brought it's claws back. Swung. And killed them.......

Naw, just fuckin' with ya.

"Dang kids today..... And their friggin' rock and roll music."

Jay stood over the Cutie Mark Crusaders and blocked the clawed paw with his bare hand. He then grabbed the leg of the menacing manticore.

"Spin you dumb animal...." He quickly grabs the other foreleg and jumps with the creature, spinning in the air. "Spin until you are DEAD!!!!!"

Spectators stop running and watch as the spinning ball of fur goes up into the air then down towards the ground. Just before it impacts, Jay moves both his hands outward. And removes all the skin and fur from the manicore. In one hand is the entire pelt of the beast...... In the other..... A large mass of muscle, fat, organs, and bone that used to be the manticore.

Jay chuckled. "This is what they mean by 'more than one way to skin a cat'." With all his might he chucked the meat pile towards the Everfree Forest, then went on his merry way to tan and dry out the hide.

"You had 1,000 years....." Said a soft voice behind him. "And you still resort to violence first? For shame Captain."

"Bite me Celly."

"You'd like that Crocodile." The princess of the sun replied coyly.

"Meh. Not really. That'd hurt a lot."