Session 60
Session 60.0 Kendell2
The human Pinkie Pie blinked. "Hey! I just got a message in Rainbows and Crystals!"
"So did I..." said Sunset. Everyone nodded.
They opened the message and read it...
'Dear (Screen Name)
Thank you for your feedback and betaing the game and exploring the creativity of the game.
And also for saving World of Horsecraft from a hacker (hope you enjoyed the capes).
As a sign of our gratitude, we would like to use your houses in the official trailer to debut at our upcoming convention to showcase the possibilities the game's free spirited nature allows.
Signed Radiant Hope."
Pinkie Pie's added an 'especially you, Pinkie Pie' before the creativity part.
"...I'm game for it," said Sunset.
The others nodded and all pressed yes.
Rainbow Dash rubbed her head. "Have we really been that creative?"
"Yah have a rainbow roller coaster surrounding your house," Applejack pointed out.
"Yeah, which is awesome!" said Rainbow.
"And I have a Ferris Wheel for my attic!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed with a grin.
"Wow...guess we've been having even more fun with this game than we expected," Sunset replied, giving a smile.
"Well it is relaxing...and more importantly innocent," Rarity said. "Unlike certain other games..." she said, looking at a certain teacher simulator game involving murder still sitting on Rainbow's desktop.
Radiant Hope smiled, sitting at her computer as she got the replies. "Glad this game will finally be loved..." she said, remembering how the first time around they'd tried it some of the Betas had been pretty harsh about it. It just needed a little refining was all and it had become something people could enjoy.
Session 60.1 Alex Warlorn
"BWAAHAHAH! Ie zhall destroy ze dam! Zen! Ie zhall save the city! And everyone vill call me, a heroooooo!!"
"Not so fast Dr. Spectrum!"
"MARE DO WELL!!!! VO VILL NOT STOP ME!!!"
"Oh yeah I wil!"
Mare Do Well heroically punched the super villain in the face, then the mighty masked mare swept up the explosive, and flew high into the sky, tossing the bomb even higher, where it exploded harmlessly, giving a show to the people of the city.
"YEAH MARE DO WELL! THE REAL HERO OF MARETROPOLIS!"
"NO! NO! IE AM ZE HERO!!!" Squirmed Dr. Spectrum after she'd been tied up, and given to the police.
Mare Do Well didn't stick around for fortune or fame, she merely slipped into the shadows, waiting for when she'd be needed once more.
-
"Wow! That new Mare Do Well comic is so exciting!" Rainbow Dash admitted emerging from the enchanted comic. "I wonder where they got the idea for that loud mouth show boating Dr. Spectrum though. I bet it was Trixie right?"
Session 60.2 JDMiles
Back in the Animania desert, roadrunner Dash continued to race across the landscape before stopping at a cliff, on the opposite the canyon was none other than Zephyr... wearing the Mare Do Well outfit.
"You're not getting away this time Dash, with this new superhero outfit I have the means and gadgets to finally catch you and sweep you off your feet!" The coyote proclaimed proudly.
"Oh, this oughta be good." Rainbow Dash smoked Dashi started munching on some popcorn. "Okay Zephyr, make me swoon." She mumbled sarcastically.
Zephyr smiled under his mask as he left off the edge and spread his cape. "Gliding Cape activate!" He called out as he fell, however nothing happened as he continued to plummet to the ground. "What the-activate! Activate, activate, ACTIVATE DAMN IT!!" He continued to scream as he plummeted to the bottom of the canyon, eventually crashing with a satisfying *poof*.
"Ah... sweet, sweet catharsis..." Rainbow Dash smirked​ as she got up and started to stretch. However she heard some coughing and looked down to see her pursuer crawling out of the body-shaped hole.
"I don't get it! Why didn't it activate?!" Zephyr mumbled to himself, only for a piece of paper to flutter down from above onto his face. Pulling it off he read over it and his jaw dropped in irritation. "GLIDING CAPE NOT INCLUDED!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"
"You really need to start reading the instructions on those things... and while you're at it get a refund." Rainbow Dash chuckled.
"No matter! I'll just use Plan B!" Zephyr shouted as he pulled out a grappling hook and fired it towards the top of the canyon. The hook latched itself between a few rocks and he immediately started pulling himself up... only for the hook to dislodge itself and accidentally yank a giant boulder over the edge of the cliff... which crushed Zephyr before he had a chance to scream.
"MEEP-MEEP!" She honked before taking off down the road once again.
Session 60.3 Devcon101
Twilight and co. were playing an O&O version of the popular flick "Specter Deflectors."
"The violet mare stares at you as she strokes the chin of the monstrous, dog-like creature beside her." Twilight read. "The mare takes trots down a few steps, eyeing you like a shark."
Applejack opened her mouth to speak, but Rarity interjected. "Darling, I think I should take care of this one." She cleared her throat as she moved her miniature forward. "Madame, as a duly designated resident of the city of Manehattan, I must request you take your supernatural business elsewhere, preferably to your place of origin or nearest convenient parallel dimension."
Applejack rolled her eyes. "As if a god would listen ta that. Didn't work in the movie, won't work ‘ere."
Rarity shrugged. "Worth a shot."
Twilight rolled a die, before continuing. "The mare simply stares at you, before asking a simple question..." Twilight cleared her throat, before continuing in the deepest, raspiest voice she could muster. "Are you a god?"
Rainbow Dash chuckled. "You sound like the alien from Hoofward the Duck!"
Twilight narrowed her eyes in frustration. "I'm doing my best, okay?"
Rarity tapped her chin in thought. Of course, she could always say no and let the game continue like the movie. Or...well, she had wondered what would've happened if they said yes...
Rarity gave a smile. "Why of course I am darling! And so are they." She waved her hoof over to the rest of the party.
Applejack frowned. "Wait, what? I'm n-" She was cut short as Rainbow put a hoof to her mouth. While she admired her friend's honesty, now was not the time for it.
Twilight thought for a moment. "Roll a Deception check."
Rarity tossed the die after giving it a kiss for good luck. "Oooh! Natural 20! And with my bonus, that comes out to a 28."
Twilight nodded, rolling a die of her own. Upon looking at the results, she blinked.
"The deception...works. The mare smiles, casually trotting down the steps, dogs in tow. "Ah, excellent. It's been so long since I've seen another!" She moves past you to the edge of the building. "Well, fellow gods, shall we destroy this mortal realm together? It's been too long since I've had a good world-ending."
Rarity blinked, putting on a forced smile. "Actually, darling, you really don't want to end this world. We've got a...um...treaty! Yes, a treaty with a rival pantheon to not destroy it. Wouldn't want an entire pantheon on our backs for breaking it, would we?"
After requesting another deception check, upon which Rarity rolled high again (not a natural 20, but up there), Twilight rolled another die, before responding. "Hmm...understandable. But at least accompany me to another world to end that one. It won't be long, I assure you. Just a little fun outing of gods."
Rarity began to sweat a little. "Um...I'm afraid we can't, darling, because...the pantheon says we have to stay here or else the treaty is void. Sorry."
One last deception check was made, which was surprisingly high once again, and Twilight rolled one last die, before blinking. "The mare is upset, but nods in understanding and...leaves, dogs in tow. The portal closes, and the storm overhead begins to disperse."
Rarity smiled with pride. "And that, darlings, is how it's done."
Applejack glared at Rainbow Dash, who still held her hoof over her mouth, letting out an angry comment which was muffled. Rainbow looked over, and with a quick "sorry" and guilty smile removed her hoof.
Pinkie Pie looked down, frowning with disappointment. "Aw, I wanted to eat the remains of the giant marshmallow pony!"
Session 60.4 Alex Warlorn
"So we're gonna play O&O with your mom and dad?!" Scootaloo asked excited.
Rainbow Dash nodded. "Yeah... SOMEPONY blabbed that table top and role play games were all the rage in Ponyville right now... "
That the Sirens themselves might have sparked the fad themselves to begin the groundwork of their scheme to conquer two worlds, was quietly ignored so not to ruin the hobby for countless equines.
"Well I think it's cool!"
That when the cloud house's door burst open...
"RAINBOW DASH! WHO IS THIS MARE!? IS THIS A CHANGELING?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"
Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. "Mom... and mom?"
"... I should be confused and scared, but I don't feel like complaining." Said the pegasus stallion of the house.
"Dash, does your dad look different? Dash! Dash!"
"RAINBOW!" The two mares closed in at the fainted Element of Loyalty.
+++
"Hm?" The Doctor checked the control panel from his time machine. "Did time just get smooshed again? I thought the princesses just fixed this timeline!"
Session 60.5 Grogar-the-oneser
"I HATE YOU TIMELINES!" Luna roared as she and the other deities were dealing with the paradox.
"I thought you fixed them all from the last time," Celestia snapped.
"So I missed one, I can't be expected to remember every detail, what am I Twilight?" Discord said defensively.
"Well now we have to deal with this," Celestia said annoyed.
"Oh calm down, we just make it two separate timeline where this." At this Discord check the board. "Bow Hot Hoof, still Rainbow Dad but has a different mother in those timelines. Should be simple since he looked like an older version pony she was with when they announce Cloudsdale will not host the Equestrian Game."
"Then how do you explain the young one appearing at Hearthwarming Eve in Twilight's castle?" Celestia growled.
"Animation error." Noticing Celestia look, Discord added. "What, it worked in the first cartoon of that robot show. Plus it let said animation error get there own being."
(look under generic gone pro in this link tfwiki.net/wiki/Generic)
"Actually according to clipboard, this Rainbow Blaze was already his own pony, but some word of 'writer' he not Rainbow Dash dad, so we could say he was her uncle." Cadence said.
Session 60.6 Mtangalion
"Would you all please try to stay in character!?" bellowed Pinkie Pie.
Celestia, Luna, and Discord all stopped what they were doing and slowly turned to stare at her.
Pinkie scratched her mane, grinning. "Eh heh… I'll just be in my trailer. Cause I'm a pony! Get it?" She dodged a solar flare and several comets, hastily galloping away.
Discord glanced at the fourth wall, sighing. "Moving on…" He snapped his claws.
"It's a simple question," said Princess Twilight. "Which set of parents do you remember being real?"
Rainbow was sprawled on the couch with an icepack on her head. "That's the trouble, Twi! I remember both of them! Like, I told my mom right away when I became a Wonderbolt, AND she never knew until Scootaloo spilled the beans."
Bow Hothoof nudged Twilight, grinning. "By the way, Princess, I love your casual, mare of the people look."
Windy Whistles nodded enthusiastically. "You're definitely the number one Best Princess currently in our home at the moment!"
"Don't you mean my home?" said Rainbow Dash Sr. "Assuming I can ever reclaim it from all the junk you brought with you."
Discord appeared in a flash. "These pesky timelines are just not coming unglued."
Twilight grimaced. "So, how bad is that?"
Discord stroked his goatee. "Do you know how in number theory, if you can't come up with any numbers in between two other numbers, those other numbers are the same number?"
"Huh?" said Windy.
"Beg pardon?" said Bow.
"What about it?" asked Twilight.
"Not helping with my headache," grumbled Rainbow.
Rainbow Sr. raised a hoof. "Is that some sort of analogy for how these worlds are so similar that it's difficult to distinguish one from another?"
"Not really," Discord admitted. "I just love making ponies argue for hours about whether point nine repeating equals one."
Twilight facehoofed.
The human world wasn't doing much better. Rainbow Dash and Sunset Shimmer were both on a couch with icepacks on their heads, because Sunset had tried to read Rainbow's mind after the trouble started.
"Sorry, guys," groaned Rainbow. "Mom and dad found mom and dad's Crystals and Rainbows beta software and made their own accounts. It wasn't me, honest!"
Applejack held up a tablet, showing them the three-hundred foot cloud sculpture of Rainbow Dash that now adorned the game's version of Cloudsdale. "You know, Ah almost believe you," said AJ, grinning.
Session 60.7 Alex Warlorn
Playing a game of chess (Rarity being rather frustrated at repeatedly having to explain the rules to Applejack), two mares chattered.
"How the heck did ya not notice Sweetie Belle's tastes had changed considering all the time you've spent with her in the past? Considering that ya seem to spend more time raising her than your parents do." Applejack asked.
"Don't remind me! I MEANT that it's been so long since we had one of our little outing like that, most of our time together has been at home!" Rarity said. "Running a business is exhausting."
Session 60.8 Devcon101
The mane six were one again beta testing Enchanted Entertainment's grandiose sci-fi sandbox game, Galaxia. Currently, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were at one of the cantinas spread around the planets for social interaction with NPCs and to find job opportunities for the various factions.
The cantina was currently rather peaceful. Various races sat at tables or the bar, talking, drinking, some even playing some intergalactic gambling games. Rainbow, Fluttershy and Pinkie sat around a table, enjoying the drinks as Pinkie and Rainbow tested out one of the intergalactic games players could play, this being a holographic, interegalactic variation of chess, Fluttershy watching.
The peaceful atmosphere was soon broken as someone suddenly let out a scream of pain, grasping at their chest and falling over. Patrons looked over in shock, slowly backing up as the alien flipped onto their back, fainting as...something tore free from their chest. The most likely guess any of the three had was that it was a new creature they added in. Fluttershy stared in fear, bug eyed, getting up and backing up. Rainbow promptly got out her weapon and pointed it at the creature, preparing to fire, before something very, very odd occurred.
The thing pulled out a top hat and cane, putting the top hat on its head and began to sing and dance.
"♪ Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!♪"
Rainbow Dash stared in confusion. "What in heck?" she mumbled, too distracted by the sight to see the notice of a gained achievement for viewing this little easter egg in the bottom right corner of her vision.
The creature continued its number. "♪ If you refuse me, honey you'll lose me, and you'll be left alone! So baby telephone, and tell me I'm your-♪" The creature's little routine was cut short as it was suddenly blasted, leaving nothing but a pile of dust where it had been.
Everyone in the bar slowly turned to where the shot had came from, all laying their eyes on Pinkie, who still held out her smoking blaster. She held it up to her mouth and blew on it, the smoke dissipating. There was a moment of awkward silence.
"...What? Did any of you want to do it?"
Later…
"What even was that thing?" Fluttershy asked. The bar had returned to relative normalcy after the singing creature had died, though there were notably less patrons now. The other two shrugged.
"Some parody of the Centimorphs from Extraterrestrials, I think" Pinkie said, not sure herself.
The three soon finished up playing the game and were about to head out, when a certain white unicorn mare in a suit of orange armor entered.
Rarity smiled through the green visor on her helmet. "There you darlings are! I've been wondering where you got off to."
Fluttershy stared at something behind Rarity. "Um, Rarity...what is that?"
Behind the armored mare floated what looked like a small blue jellyfish, with five glowing green eyes within its translucent body and small teeth around the rim of its mouth. It let out an inhuman chirp.
"Oh, him? He's my new pet! Isn't he just adorable?" Rarity smiled at it.
Rainbow Dash raised a brow, remembering seeing a similar creature in the game. "Isn't that one of those life-sucking parasites?"
Rarity frowned. "Yes, but a baby version they made available as a pet. It's attack setting isn't even implemented yet. Wouldn't hurt a fly, I assure you." Looking up, she blinked, frowning. "Oh now where has he gone off to?"
Moments after a NPC alien that resembled a fly zipped by, yelling "GET IT OFF ME!" as the baby parasite latched on.
Rarity gave a guilty smile. "...Okay, so maybe the attack setting just isn't fully implemented..."
Session 60.9 JDMiles
Back in the Animania desert, Zephyr smiled as he quickly strapped a jetpack on. "This time, this time for sure! This time I'll finally catch her!" He happily proclaimed as he pressed a button, starting it up. A second later he was sent flying across desert. "WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!"
Meanwhile, Roadrunner Dash had come across another "Plot Hole"... in the form of a hastily painted-on tunnel. "Wow really? That's just lazy...."
"HERE I COME MY LOVE!!" Zephyr called out as he raced towards his target. Dash sighed and simply stepped to the side, expecting him to crash into the wall.... only for him to fly right through it! The surface rippling with water, much to Dash's surprise.
"I... what the-huh?!" She stuttered for a moment as she stared at the portal, wondering if she should go in if Zephyr was on the other side...
A few seconds later however, Zephyr ran out of the portal, now stuck in the form of a cat. "For the love of Celestia, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" Zephyr screamed in terror. He was pursued by what looked like a lime green skunk with a pinkish-red stripe and was wearing a bandana with a floral pattern.
"Come back, my love!" Tree Hugger happily called out, playfully hopping after him "Let us become entwined together in the way of cosmic vibration and lay engulfed in our act of cosmic bliss!"
"....meh, not my problem! MEEP-MEEP!" She putted before zooming through the Plot Hole, hoping to reunite with her friends...
Session 60.10 Alex Warlorn
"Why aren't we doing anything for Star Mares 40th anniversary Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo asked, "I had a buncha stuff that would be great for LARPing!"
Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Meh! I l lost all interest after friggin' FLIM AND FLAM bought the rights to it! And threw out my favorite, I mean, the sequel novels."
Session 60.11 Devcon101
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Written_Script
Written Script sat down at his desk, tapping the point of his yet to be inked quill beside the sheets of paper that rested before him.
Recently Written had gotten a job as a writer for Ogre Magazine, a magazine line started for the popular Ogres and Oubliettes game. And his first task was to write an article on the Nine Hells, specifically the archdevils. Elsewhere on his desk rested a stack of books containing good wells of information on them. Of course, a few archdevils had yet to be as fleshed out as some of the others, so he had jotted down a few notes on information he had devised for them on a sheet of paper that sat beside the books. He had everything ready, now he just needed to begin.
He tapped his chin in thought, before dipping his quill in the inkwell that rested just above where he had been tapping his quill moments prior and beginning to write, starting with the first archdevil, Cowbellial.
That was when the door to his room opened, and in stepped Carrot Top, humming to herself.
"I'm home!" she said with a smile, before noticing his just-started article. "Ooh! Watcha writing honey?"
Written Script blinked, getting a nervous sweat. "Oh nothing really, just an article for Ogre Magazine on..." He struggled to think of something. "...the Elemental Planes! Yes, the Elemental Planes."
Carrot Top simply stared at him blankly. "...Honey, you are a horrible liar."
Written Script gave a sigh of defeat. "Oh fine. The article's really about..." He muttered it under his breath.
Carrot Top blinked, before gaining a grin. "I'm sorry, what did you say it was about?"
Written Script sighed once again. "The archdevils of the Nine Hells."
Carrot Top's grin grew even wider. "You know honey, I am one of the most knowledgeable ponies on the subject of O&O devils, if you were to ever, oh I don't know, need assistance?"
Written Script shook his head, turning back to his work. "No dear, I believe I'll be fine on my own."
Written began to resume his writing. Carrot Top trotted over, glancing over his shoulder.
She raised a brow as he continued writing. "...Belial had crimson scales, not mahogany."
Written sighed. This was going to be a long day.
-
"I believe I can fully handle this on my own, dear." Written said, turning to Carrot Top, who had yet to leave his side since he began to write.
Carrot Top gave him puppy dog eyes. "Oh come on, honey, please!"
Written shook his head. "I can handle this myself."
Carrot Top gave a slight pout. "And why can't I help?"
Written sighed once more. "Because with the amount of stuff you know, this short article would become an entire book."
-
Carrot Top watched Written. "...Did I tell you about each of Salmmon's dukes?"
Written nodded.
She paused, before continuing. "...I did tell you about all the details on Marephistopheles' palace, right?"
Written sighed. "Yes, honey, you did."
Carrot Top paused once again. "...And I didn't forget to mention the lesser known parts of Baazelbull's past, did I?"
Written put his hooves to his face, taking a deep breath. "Honey, I told you. I can handle it on my own!"
-
Written smiled as he finished the last sentence on Asmodequus' section. He gave it one last look over, before giving it a kiss.
He smiled with pride. "I finally finished it!"
"That's nice honey." Carrot Top's voice called out from in his room, the door to which was held shut by a chair. "...Now can you let me out of here?!"
Session 60.12 Mtangalion
Prince Blueblood tisked at Princess Twilight's Friendship Castle, which was just starting to glow with its own crystal radiance as the moon rose. He tensed, but the heavy hood and cloak he wore was enough to keep him from turning into a wolf, just as Auntie Luna had assured him. Blueblood sighed with relief; his most loyal servants knew, and they'd cover for him, but his clothing budget for the month was already shot to Tartarus. Best not to have any more little accidents.
"How many years," mused Blueblood, "and still Twilight has no guard of her own?" He gestured, and one of his personal pegasus guards (Dusk Glider, in service four years, fond of carrots, proposing to her coltfriend next month) left the chariot and trotted up the castle stairs. "At least I don't have to get the front door myself."
Inside, Blueblood let the hood of his cloak down and trotted through the main hall towards the "throne room." "My goodness, anypony bent on mayhem could just walk right in. Oh wait, somepony actually did!"
This was the place, apparently. Blueblood knocked at the doors twice, then invited himself on inside. "Hello!" he said cheerfully. "I'm told this is where the Dusklight game beta testing group convenes. I trust you have room for one more?"
The ponies and other folk inside were surprised, to say the least.
"You!" hissed Spike, narrowing his eyes and snorting a bit of flame. He'd had an unfortunate tendency to set the palace drapes on fire as a dragon toddler, Blueblood recalled, an equally unfortunate history of draining the Ponyville Perpetual Disaster Relief Fund with that greed growth stunt… oh, and he probably still had that adorably pathetic crush on Miss Rarity, which… ah yes, would explain the current hostility.
"You!?" echoed Miss Rarity, sitting in the star-marked throne next to Spike's miniature seat.
"My goodness," said the purple earth pony maee in the diamond throne. Local schoolteacher, Prince Blueblood vaguely recalled. Clearly not sure whether she should rise and bow or not.
"Howdy, Blueblood," said a grinning Big Macintosh Apple in the next throne over, the apple throne, appropriately. Blueblood supposed that he counted as a drinking buddy now. Certainly better company than many nobleponies he could name!
"Blueblood?!" stammered the gray thestral in the rainbow throne. "What are you doing here?"
What an interesting reaction, thought Blueblood. Windy Whisper, wasn't she? Formerly of the Night Guard… but wait… An author's quill pen cutie mark… and that voice, the one from his dream?! It was all Blueblood could do, not to point a hoof and shout "Aha!" Midnight Heart! He'd bet one of his country estates on it. Just one of them, mind… It was an astonishing coincidence to find Midnight Heart here like this, if it really was her. The whole thing could be a setup.
"Yes, why are you here, your highness?" asked Rarity, more collected now. "I wouldn't have taken you for a fan of Dusklight at all."
Blueblood wished that the star throne had been empty, since it was clearly the most important. He slipped into the balloon throne, with some misgivings, and pretended to pay no further attention to Miss Whisper. Naturally, there was no need for her to know what he knew or thought he knew. For now, at least.
"Let's just say," Blueblood told Rarity smoothly, "a mutual acquaintance persuaded me to give the series a chance, and now I find that I just can't put the books down. Then I received your kind invitation…"
"My invitation?" Rarity interrupted.
"Your postcard, of course. You wished to talk about matters of mutual interest. Well, here I am!"
Rarity frowned delicately. "Oh! Actually, I had in mind a more private setting, befitting… a frank discussion."
Spike started grinding his teeth, then paused, glancing at Rarity, worried and uncertain.
Blueblood pretended to come to a realization. "Ah, I see! My *new suit*... you don't want the details getting out to your competitors. How imperceptive of me! Still, might I participate in tonight's entertainment, since I've come such a long way?"
Spike relaxed, but he still looked wary.
Macintosh frowned. Very possibly, he knew that Blueblood was stretching the truth, but hopefully there was enough truth that he wouldn't get called on it.
Miss Cheerilee smiled. "I don't see why not. Half of our characters are nobleponies… why not get some perspective from a real one?"
This, Blueblood thought, was going to be such marvelous fun! And the Dusklight roleplaying game might actually be enjoyable too.
Session 60.13 Devcon101
(A continuation of Session 60.11)
Written Script looked expectantly at Carrot Top. His next article after the Guide to O&O Archdevils was one on the Hotblood War between devils and demons, as could be seen by the first few sentences he had written.
There was a moment of awkward silence. "...Well?" Written asked.
Carrot Top raised a brow. "...What?"
Written blinked. "...This article is on O&O's Hotblood War."
Carrot Top's expression didn't change. "...So?"
Written gained a look of disbelief. "You really have nothing to say?"
Carrot Top shook her head. "I never liked the Hotblood War. It made it hard to ally demons and devils, so I wrote it out in all my campaigns. I couldn't really tell you anything about it."
Written blinked, before smiling. ‘Yes!' he thought, almost swearing he could hear an angelic chorus ringing in his ears, ‘Thank the gods! No endless discussions on devil generals! No extensive lists of obscure infernal weaponry and siege weapons! No in-detail descriptions of hundreds of different devil battle tactics! I can finally just write!'
He blinked as he snapped out of his thoughts, however, seeing Carrot Top with the same grin she had when she found out about his first article's topic. "...I said that all out loud, didn't I?"
Carrot Top's smile grew wider. "Well, I may not know much about the Hotblood War, but I do know a lot of what you mentioned..."
Written began to bang his head against his desk repeatedly.
Session 60.14 Mtangalion
Gilda knocked cautiously on the doorframe of CrystalSoft Lead Developer Discord's office. "Yo, boss? Have you been chatting with your kid or something in there?"
Discord flicked his mouse as she entered, causing a screenshot of a boring spreadsheet to swipe in from the left side of his monitor and cover up the desktop. "What? Of course not! Heh, whatever makes you say that?"
Small pixelated hands wrapped around the edge of the spreadsheet, and the image of a cute little girl started pushing the image back where it came from, grunting and straining adorably. "Whew, it was dark back there!" The animated character seemed to look right out of the monitor at them, and the camera on top of the monitor whirred, focusing. "Hi, Daddy! Hi, Gilda!"
Gilda's jaw dropped. "That's… that's some chat program."
"Yes, isn't it." Discord coughed. "Gilda… Screwball, my faithful assistant! She's been helping daddy make the new class balance changes!"
Gilda twitched, smirking. "And, ah, that's not against company policy or any of that junk?"
"Of course not. I wrote the policy!" Discord kicked back in his chair, putting his mismatched sneakers up on the desk. "It's good to be the king! Er… of software development!"
Screwball's avatar bounced up and down. "Can we do paladins next, daddy? Please, please please!"
Gilda blinked. "You seriously let a little girl balance the classes in World of Horsecraft? I knew it! I mean, half the time the patch notes don't make any squawking sense!"
Discord frowned, then shrugged it off, clicking open an editor. "Well, it's inevitable that some would think that. You see, when a game has millions of active players, it also has millions of opinions. Terrible, ill-informed, self-serving opinions about what the future direction of the game should be."
Gilda nodded fiercely, squeezing a fist. "Yeah! All those feathering idiots, always clogging up the forums with their whiny ‘Buff me!' and ‘Nerf everybody else!' and ‘My class sucks!' Except warriors. They're the ones who actually are underpowered and need huge, massive buffs. I'm an expert at playing warrior, so I should know! How are warriors supposed to get the attention they need with all those other idiots posting their crap?"
"It's a mystery to everyone," deadpanned Discord. He double-clicked his personal to-do list, added ‘Nerf warriors,' and closed the window before Gilda turned around again. He clapped his hands. "So, paladins! What's first… how about Avenging Strike?"
"Woohoo!" Screwball jumped into an animated missile turret, working the controls, and a robotic arm attached to the computer whirred, aiming a paper airplane at a target across the room… a dartboard with spaces like "Nerf 2%," "Buff 7%", "Redesign," and "Gone!"
Gilda was headed back to her cubicle, still shaking her head in disbelief, when Gabby the Intern tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, Gil? Those priority 4 bugs are really starting to back up. I bet I could fix them! You can do anything if you try!"
Gilda facepalmed. "What are you, an after school special? Ooh, I can do anything! Can you sprout wings and fly?!" She spread her arms and wiggled her fingers mockingly.
Gabby scratched her chin. "Huh, I don't know. I never tried that before!" She closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. "Hmmmm… Hrrrrrmm!!" She peeked an eye open. "Am I flying yet?"
"This is gonna be a four-coffee day," muttered Gilda, changing course and making for the break room."
Session 60.15 Alex Warlorn
In the human world, the humane six were playing a d20 science fiction-fantasy-modern adventure. " Sort of like fantasy-Cyber punk, but without the punk."
The girls had infiltrated in game an evil organization that was totally not a poke at Crystal Soft and needed to get the information before security found them.
"Just look for all the files marked at 1.45 megabytes in size, and download them all to your thumb drive!" Sunset Shimmer said.
"Will do!" Pinkie Pie nodded.
"Huh?" Rarity wondered. "Why would that be important?"
"Trust me on this."
A while later, Science Twilight moaned. "Fine, you found all the vital files and withdraw without anyone identifying you." 'All my beautiful data cross reference puzzles... not even puzzled through!
Session 60.16 Grogar-the-oneser
"Huh, I feel I wasn't what people call a straw pony for once and it made someone very happy." Rarity muttered meanwhile big Macintosh and Applebloom were trying to stop Applejack from killing a certain pegasus.
"How about we play charades?"
"No."
"Or sky-diving that's a fun game."
"No."
"How about RPG discord style."
This stopped Applejack for a few minutes. "Sure i guess."
Both Applebloom and Big Macintosh sighed in relief.
"But only after I beat up Strawberry Sunrise, that mare wrote a check her mouth going to cash." Applejack stated.
"Sorry sis, but you leave me no choice." Big Macintosh said
"Sorry about-" Applejack was interrupted as Big Mac knocked her out.
"... I won't say what the tartarus, cause I think she was taking things too seriously, but you do realize she's going to be pissed about this." Applebloom said
"I know." Big Mac sighed.
Session 60.17 patton-42
The Doctor, having heard from Derpy about her plans for what appeared to be several weeks' worth of parties, had decided that he would be better served far, far away from Equestria for awhile. She'd seemed oddly enthusiastic about it all, but for all he cared she could be trying to unleash an eldritch horror or simply replacing his Muffin Form(which, he realized, was somehow capitalized in his mind). So long as he wasn't part of it, he could care less. No, he'd be off on far more safe, predictable adventures into the jaw of-KAFLASH!
His internal monologue was cut off by the materialization of a haggard, nervous looking River, who had apeared to arrive via vortex manipulator.
"River. I know we have differing opinions on the subject, but using that cheap knockoff inside the TARDIS is just disrespectful to her on so many levels that I-"
"Not now. When is this?"
"Um, sorry, what's-"
"WHEN IS THIS!?"
"Alright, alright. Let's see, taffy spiders, daleks, oh! Just finished up with Derpy's muffin madness."
"Good. Listen carefully. Something big is coming, something very, very big. You're actually the one who sent me back here to tell you this. You're leaving Equestria for a month or two, right?"
"Right, where are you going with-"
"Shut up love. If you ever go back, don't eat ANY baked goods offered to you by anypony, no matter what."
"Did Pinkie Pie cause the cupcake apocalypse again? I've already unhappened that 3 times. And that's apparently 4 times too many, because I've got photographic evidence of another time I unhappened so well even I forgot!"
"No, its worse, so much worse. You're not running away from this one. When things come to a head, you must remember to mention that time-travelling human we met. The fate of reality depends upon it."
"Alright then. Why, exactly?"
"The only explanation you gave me was that I told you in the past."
"Ah. I understand."
"You said that if you didn't believe me, that I should mention 'that one time with Belgium', and you'd understand."
"But I already understand."
"Yes, but you said you remembered me saying that, so I had to say it even if I didn't have to."
"If I was a regular pony, my head would hurt. Well done River."
"Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go relax for about a month in Las Pegasus before going back to that mess."
"No you're not."
"And why not?"
"Because, when I last had too much time on my hooves, I created a program in the TARDIS for if you should ever defile her with that...thing. Your vortex manipulator now has a micro-version of the TARDIS' various quirks and personality traits...or at least it would if those were programmable and not the result of age, adventure, and not a small amount of care. Instead, you'll just have to make do with a temporal magnet that homes in on me, ensuring you can't abandon me mid-crisis. Like now, for example."
"...why?"
"Three reasons. One, time is most likely in flux right now, so you most likely don't have all the leeway you think you do. Two, if things are ever bad enough for you to actually time travel into the TARDIS, I'll most likely need you wherever things are going that bad. And three, deserved punishment for disrespecting my TARDIS."
"I now know why you had that grin on your face before sending me off."
With another loud flash, River was transported back to the crisis...only to walk into the center of the TARDIS a moment later.
"Doctor, was that me I heard?"
"Yes, dear. You were warning me of a crisis."
"And there was no information about how to prepare other than something suitably vague?"
"As per usual."
"Well, that'll be fun to worry about. So, where to first?"
Several adventures later...
"Doctor? Why is the void staring back at me?"
"Oh, that's probably just a portal to Ponythulu's home dimension. He asked me to visit him, and apparently the TARDIS decided I'll be doing that."
The TARDIS entered the void-portal, and entered into what appeared to be a tastefully-decorated living room, albeit with incomprehensible proportions. The Doctor and River emerged, managing to adjust to the couch that had been asteroid sized, but that now fit their proportions perfectly, rather well.
Ponythulu soon entered(at least, they thought he did, he may very well have always been there) from some unseen portal, with a tray of delicious-
looking chocolate chip cookies. He said...something that might've been "Hello Doctor", or a series of random gurgles. He was much harder to understand in his own dimension.
"Hello yourself. "
Ponythulu said something that, if heard backwards, could have been "And hello to your companion as well. Would you care for some cookies?"
"Nice try, but I've specifically been warned off all baked goods. Besides, you know what having a Time Lord in your cult would do to reality-it'd bend it in ways even you couldn't understand. Just look at the last bloke who took one."
If heard at a 45 degree angle, Ponythulu's response might have been "The Master was already in the state of what you call insanity long before he accepted my hospitality. If anything, I may have normalized him for a time."
"If you call falling in love with me normal. Speaking of, have you had any run-ins with future me's? I'd really like to know how to avoid that, and the last me who told me left out most of the details."
"Why not just run away from him and avoid solving the problem the easy way, it worked SO well last time" River mumbled, wishing she could eat one of the cookies. When those few who had consumed them were capable of forming complete sentences in a language native to their own plane of reality, they generally said that they were excellently made.
Ponythulu either summoned a very small tornado or cleared his throat, and then generated a sound that, if mentally changed to have a strong Appaloosan accent, could have said "I have called you here to ask for clarification regarding the muffin-related escapade you recently went on, and how it may affect the state of baked goods across the cosmos."
"Well, what happened didn't have much to do with muffins, really. Derpy went mad with love over my muffin form, chased me across the cosmos, and then it was resolved with a conversation, nothing reall-River, why are you looking at me like that?"
"No reason" growled River, who was proud of herself for managing to look put-upon despite the temptation of the cookies.
With a startling lack of ambiguity, Ponythulu spoke very clearly in what could only be a surprised tone.
"You...you don't know what I mean, do you? Oh dear, I must've opened the portal to soon. Or would it be too late? Your 'time' is all so very bothersome, it really would be better for you to join me. These types of things would no longer bother you. Oh well. My apologies for the inconvenience, and please come see when it is more relevant to you."
And with that, the time-travelling pair were back in the TARDIS, with nothing but the lingering scent of chocolate to indicate that they were ever anywhere else.
"Doctor, do you know what he was on about?"
"I'm sure we'll find out eventually."
In another time, in another place, a button pressed itself. A pair of office workers in Manehatten began arguing animetedly over who should pay for lunch, and a small pond found its lillypads transformed into blueberry muffins, with the water becoming chocolate milk.
To be continued...........in another couple of days once i get another break from work. And no, the spelling of animatedly isn't a typo.
Session 60.18 Devcon101
Recently, beta testing had opened up for a new stealth sandbox game by Enchanted Comics known as Thief's Breed.
Standing in the darkness of an alleyway that rested between two formerly bustling streets now silent under the moon's glow was one Suri Polomare, dressed in a black hooded suit and facemask, a quiver strung across her back. One eye of her glowed with a soft blue light, looking mechanical. She crouched down, pressing herself against the wall as the light of a lantern carried by two guards passed by, idly chatting to one another as they patrolled the streets. She waited for a few moments for the coast to be clear, before standing back up, tapping her hoof impatiently, as if waiting for somepony.
She stumbled back as an older mare in a white cloak jumped down from one of the neighboring rooftops, landing softly and quietly. Most of her face was shrouded in black by her hood, only her mouth visible. She looked to either street the alley was connected to, before giving a slight chuckle.
"Sorry dearie, assassinating that stallion took a bit longer than I had hoped for. Record time still, but I could've done better." The mare's, who by her voice could be recognized as Sicklysweet, smile visibly lessened as she muttered "I'm loosing my touch" softly to herself. Suri narrowed her eyes, not amused.
"I could've easily gotten caught waiting for you, mmkay? I still haven't yet rid the streets of all those wanted posters. One off shadow and the whole guard'd be on my trail." Though she kept her voice down, it was clear she was quite agitated.
Sicklysweet rolled her eyes. "Dearie, unless they're specifically looking for you, I doubt they'd be that observant. Maybe on Deadly difficulty like I'd wanted to play on, but somepony-"
Suri snorted in frustration. "This is our first time playing this game, mmkay? This Hard difficulty is already challenging enough, let alone Deadly or Master difficulty."
Sicklysweet nodded. "Fine fine. Just make sure to give me those eggs you lay dearie. I'm making a huge wedding cake for this rich couple, so I'm going to need all I can get." She let out a soft chuckle, Suri glaring. "So, I believe your next target is the same as mine?"
Suri's glare relaxed slightly, nodding. "Ram-irez? Yeah."
Sicklysweet nodded to herself. "Seems the separate missions are few and far between." She began to take a few steps back towards the street. "Come along, dearie. I assassinate him, you rob him. Simple."
Suri gave a confused look. "And how are we going to get past the guard? They've practically locked down everywhere in this part of the city but here."
Sicklysweet smiled. "I've got just the thing dearie." She took a rather big box out of hyperspace and placed it on the ground.
Suri simply stared. "A...box? That's it?"
Sicklysweet sighed. "Just trust me on this."
Later...
Sicklysweet and Suri both crouched underneath the box, Suri glaring her eyes at her mother.
Sicklysweet gave a nervous smile. She hadn't been aware of a new "joke" weakness of the box that had been put in the game as part of the new update (likely an idea of one of the backers). Apparently, despite it being a great stealth item, if one stayed idle beneath it for long periods of time…
One of the guards rubbed his chin as he stared at the chessboard that rested atop this convenient cardboard box he and a buddy had found. He grabbed one of the pieces, analyzing the positions.
‘If I move here, the game's over...' he thought, ‘And if I move here, the game's over...but maybe if I...no, the game would be over..."
The other guard sat across from him in annoyance. "Face it, Ironblade, you won."
Ironblade frowned, looking desperate. "C'mon! One more game!" he begged, as he had at the end of the last 15 games.
Session 60.19 Kendell2
"And with the message delivered, he breaths his last at your hooves..." Spike explained, smirking as he did his job as GM.
"...Shouldn't we tell his family?" Fluttershy asked.
The little drake blinked. "Say what?"
"Well...he did just die in front of us...so...shouldn't we inform his family or something?" the kind Pegasus asked.
"Uh..." Spike replied, trying to think of a way to avoid this turning into a giant side quest. "He was...an orphan!"
"What about the orphanage?"
"...It was burned down...by uh...a dragon!...I mean an EVIL dragon! Not like me or Ember...more like Garble...only older."
"Uh, if there's a dragon runnin' around burnin' down orphanages, shouldn't we go slay it?" Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.
'Crud,' the little purple dragon thought. "Uh...well...he's...uh...The message he just gave you is kinda important!"
"Ah'd say a dragon killin' orphans is plenty important too!"
"We could at least give him a little funeral, darling," said Rarity. "Would be nice."
Rainbow Dash looked at her character bio. "The god I worship rewards treating the good dead right, so I'd be game for that."
"Uh...Look! Orcs are attacking!" Spike called, instantly put several on the board.
-One orc slaying later-
"So what were we doing?" asked Twilight.
"Giving the messenger guy a funeral," said Pinkie Pie...in her normal Pinkie Pie fashion.
"And probably gonna go find that orphanage burnin' dragon..." Applejack pointed out.
Spike gave a groan. "Fine, there's a graveyard over there...but it's full of zombies!"
"Eh, free EXP," Rainbow Dash replied with a smirk.
-One graveyard zombie battle later-
"Okay, so how about that funeral?" Rainbow Dash asked, decking out her Barbarian in a nice fancy +5 enchanted studded leather armor of ghost touch she found just laying around with a note saying 'whoever slays my zombie, my armor is yours' (unknowing it was simply a shiny distraction by Spike).
Spike gave a sigh, having not even mentioned the messenger the ENTIRE time hoping they'd forget.
And they still didn't, even when the first coffin they found turned out to be a Mimic and the local gravedigger turned out to be a vampire.
"So...uh...do we actually KNOW anything about this guy?" Twilight asked, scratching her head.
"Um...he was a messenger...and an orphan..." Fluttershy replied.
Twilight instantly produced a book on proper funeral procedure. "We don't even know his NAME, we gotta figure out a little more than that...maybe search his pockets?"
The GM cursed himself for not even giving the NPC a name, since seeing how this was going, he'd inevitably have to come up with one.
"And maybe that'll tell us where that dragon is so we can go deal with it," Applejack reminded.
Spike groaned and facedesked.
Session 60.20 Grogar-the-oneser
"Seriously, all that rummaging all we got is a business card that says E.Nigma, what kind of messenger only has business cards and a message." Rainbow Dash said
Spike eye was twitching, at the criticism (It was the only good name he could think of, and he thought it was still good considering a certain bandicoot coming back and serves as a good tribute, thank you very much)
'Seriously, its a medieval fantasy, they could have easily just bought shovels and buried the dead guy. But no, they got way into this. I know i'm a good gm but come on, not even me and Big Mac get this into it.' Spike thought grumpily, he should've just said the dead guy was in fact a criminal wanted for several crimes, but he can't do it now cause that would be lazy storytelling.
'Theres only one way out, It too deus ex machina and mean, but at this point i just want to take a nap.' Spike thought
"You hear polite coughing behind, you all turn to see another band of adventurers glaring at you."
"What, why are they glaring at us!" Rarity said shocked
"They saw you rummaging a dead messenger of royalty, take a wild guess." Spike said blandly
"Huh... that is the kind of thing that looks suspicious." Pinkie admitted
"Relax, we'll just explain it to them in a calm rational matter." Twilight Sparkle said.
Remembering that story Big Mac told him, Spike quickly said "The leader of this band step forward and introduce herself as Strawberry Sunrise."
"I lunge forward and cut strawberry head off." Applejack stated
"WHAT!?" Twilight and Fluttershy shouted while Rarity slapped her forehead annoyed.
"Your strike was effective, you killed their leader." Spike said
"YAY!" Applejack said
"But it also angers her team-mates, who are all way stronger than you and won't be taken in by surprise.
"Oh..." Applejack gulped "My bad."
"You really got to get over your irrational hatred of her darling." Rarity muttered
+
"As you are stuck in prison, you overhear the guards talking about the dead adventurer and messenger getting a ornate funeral and mentioning its a shame E.Nigma died as they just orphanage killing dragon died of a heart attack." Spike said
"Well thats good...ish." Fluttershy said
"Yeah I mean we got alot of cool gear, A And once the king gets his explanation, i'm sure the king will reward us for trying to get a funeral for the royal messenger." Pinkie smiled
"Ah don't know... seems too much of a deus ex machina." Applejack said
"Your only saying that cause you decided to vent since the leader had the same name as that mare who disagree with you when she gave you an honest opinion about apples." Rarity said annoyed
"Nah, I'm with AJ on this one... even though technically she the reason why were in jail." Rainbow said below her breath.
"I heard that." Applejack snapped.
Session 60.21 Alex Warlorn
"WAIT!" Rainbow Dash said, "If the dragon died of a heart attack.. Then their treasure hoard..."
"IS COMPLETELY UNGUARDED!" Rarity said realizing what Rainbow Dash was saying.
"It won't stay that way for long!" Twilight said.
"We better get out of here fast then! Spike! I Diplomatically tell the Guard how if they write up a report on how this was all a misunderstanding and my ranger friend was bewitched by forces outside of this plane of existence, that we're cut them a small percentage of the dragon hoard's treasure that we claim (if any)." Pinkie Pie said.
Spike was bewildered, but not upset nor worried, there was no way Pinkie Pie's bard could roll high enough on her bluff or her diplomacy check to...
Pinkie Pie rolled... and rolled natural 20s for her Diplomacy and her Bluff check.
Spike, begrudging, a vein in his little head, said, "The guard, lets you out, is sorry your friend got temporary possessed by a demon, and hopes you come back with his cut of the treasure soon."
"We will darling. I give the guard a kiss, and off we go!"
"RACE TO THE DEAD DRAGON'S HOARD!" Rainbow Dash declared.
Spike facedesked, again.
Session 60.22 Mtangalion
Starlight lounged in Twilight's throne, trying to project an air of confidence, while her magic flipped through several O&O manuals plus a scenario guide. "All right, so when you leave the city of New Buckingham, you see… wait a moment, I've got this…"
Rarity gave her a vacant, dreamy smile. "I'll wait as long as you want, Starlight Glimmer."
"You see… the Northern Plains. Obviously! Just try to picture it in your heads, or something."
"Whatever you say, Starlight Glimmer," droned Fluttershy cheerfully.
"Oh, and there's also…" Starlight rolled a twenty-sided die. "Four large caravans and three smaller ones waiting to enter the city. Heh, what were the odds?"
Applejack raised a hoof. "Ah reckon it's one in twenty, Starlight Glimmer!"
"I didn't mean… ugh, never mind! Where does the party go next?"
Rainbow Dash leapt half out of her seat. "Left! We have to get back to that unguarded dragon hoard before..."
"You can't go that way!" Starlight blurted out. "I mean, I spent all morning reading up on this Haunted Diamond Mine adventure, so you should definitely go right!"
Rainbow's pupils shrank. "Sure thing, Starlight Glimmer. Whatever you say!"
"So, how am I doing so far?" asked Starlight, turning towards Princess Twilight. "Spike said I just needed to make sure they stuck to the plot, and everything else would be fine... You're doing the twitchy-face thing. I'm guessing that's not a good sign."
Twilight took a deep breath. "I'll be the first to admit, I myself haven't always been the ideal Oubliette Master. I've been a little too obsessed with details and making sure things go according to plan, a little too controlling… but I think even I'm qualified to say this. There's railroading, and then there's what you're doing. Cut it out." Twilight frowned. "And tell Sunburst he can stop massaging your hooves."
Sunburst leaned out from under the table, adjusting his glasses. "Oh, I'm not under mind control, princess. Since I'm responsible for Flurry Heart now, I make sure I'm properly warded at all times." He gave Starlight a wink and a sly grin. You know you can just ask if you want a hoof massage, right? No need for a spell."
Starlight blushed. "Wait. So, all that time, you were…" She meeped and teleported away.
Sunburst stroked his goatee. "Don't worry, she'll be back."
Starlight reappeared, wrapped a forelimb around Sunburst, and teleported a third time, taking her coltfriend with her this time.
Session 60.23 Devcon101
"So, wait, hold on…"
Rainbow Dash and the rest of the mane six sat around the map table, discussing the upcoming O&O adventure.
"We're going into a jungle full of dinosaurs and monsters, fighting psychic koalas, dragon turtles, giant frog monsters, zombie t-rexes that vomit more zombies and more, and we get to punch Acererak in the face again and not in a rerun of the Tomb of Horrors?"
One could practically see the stars in Rainbow's eyes. "That is AWESOME! It sounds just like something out of a Daring Do book! I'm totally making a character based on her for it!"
"Actually," Twilight stated, "if I recall they actually made a deal with A.K. Yearling to include Daring Do in the campaign. She's even helping to write the adventure."
Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped, before turning to Rarity. "...Rarity, could I borrow your fainting couch for a quick sec?"
Session 60.24 Alex Warlorn
It was enchanted comic time. This comic started out bright in the middle of the day, with a horrible flood immediately hitting Maretropolis. The Power Ponies at once swooped in and began helping victims and repairing the dam... when a black light flashed...
All their powers suddenly just, stopped working, and the Power Ponies fell, and were swept away by the river. As they fished themselves out, Twilight coughed. "There must be a bug with the enchanted comic, we should leave and tell the publisher."
"Oh this is based on Power Ponies: Act of Celestia, where the Power Ponies all mysterious lose their powers. And have to think about what right they had to have powers that set them above their fellow ponies." Starlight Glimmer, dressed as Batmare explained.
"Let me guess... favorite of yours?" Masked Matterhorn/Twilight asked.
Starlight gasped. "How did you know?!"
"... Lucky guess."
"But isn't it cool?! Now Humdrum is now the most competent member of the team since he never had any powers to rely on as a crutch!"
Spike spoke up. "But Humdrum wanted to be treated as an equal by the team, not drag everypony else down."
"And seein' how this adventure starts with us usin' our powers to help flood victims, Ah'd say all it really does is contribute LESS."
"And darlin', my bracelet is according to my character's back story is TECHNOLOGY, just of an alien sort. So logically my powers should still work."
"Yeah this blows," Zapp/Rainbow Dash says, "Do we get our powers back at the end?"
"No, but I do get to train you as Batmare to be rugged badass ponies like her," Starlight Glimmer nodded smiling. "Doesn't that sound cool!?"
"... Yeah, thanks, but no thanks, I'd rather have my super heroes be SUPER." Rainbow Dash/Zapp forcefully exited the comic world. As normal, she was promptly replaced with Zapp's NPC. "OH WHY! OH WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED! HOW COULD I BE RENDERED SO UTTERLY USELESS! USELESS!"
The girls all cringed.
"Starlight..." Spike said, "There was already a story where the Power Ponies had their power stolen-"
"Not stolen here, lost forever-"
"The point is... is that it's already established that they're heroes with super powers, they're not heroes because they have super powers. Well, not after the character development THEY ALREADY HAD with Hum Drum and watching My Little Donkey."
"Well, I guess -I- might be happy since Saddle Rager's power was a blessing and a curse." Fluttershy admitted. "And she could go back to being a full time relief effort worker."
"Actually, you become a stock market broker."
"WHAT?! How does that even make sense?!" Fluttershy said, channeling her character's legendary temper.
"Can we stop now?" Pinkie Pie/Filisecond said, "This is reminding too much of the social worker who thought my parents were abusing me for being pink and smiling."
"Princess Luna does not hear my prayers, I must turn to the one true faith of Celestia!" Shouted Zapp.
"Well, at least Lightning Knight supports me in my dark hour of need right?" Twilight asked/Masked Matterhorn.
"He leave you for losing your powers actually."
"Dramaticus Persona, Comic End." Twilight said without hesitation.
(This parody is based on the comic story 'JLA Act of God' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JLA:_Act_of_God ).
Session 60.25 Alex Warlorn
Vice Company President Chrysalis burst into Company President Sombra's office. "We got trouble! Discord hit his head and became Accord again!"
"Is he installing mind control software in the games again!?"
"No!... No I checked... but he is writing a new game and has already ringed in some our of beta testers into it."
"Well, hopefully he'll produce something useable this time. The sales for Orderly Office are awful."
"I dunno... sold well at crystal Prep according to the app store hidden stats."
----
REAL_Princess, Rising_Sun, Honest_Apple, Awesome_McCoolName, and Faithful_Student, all stood before the final boss, a giant screaming floating head of Princess Celestia.
"WORSHIP ME! OBEY ME! SERVE ME! WITHOUT ME YOU'RE ALL WORTHLESS WORMS! SOCIETY WILL NEVER MOVE PAST ME BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE ALL PATHETIC WEAKLINGS WHO CAN'T MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES! BWAHAHAH!"
REAL_Twilight said, "Uh, actually the 'worthless without you' actually refers to how 'Celestia is love, and a loveless isn't worth living'. Not that one should always defer to authority."
"HUH?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY HOW PEOPLE ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE WITHOUT ME BECAUSE THEY HAVE EACH OTHER AND THEIR OWN HOPES AND DREAM!"
"I read the back story for this, supplied with the beta-version," Faithful_Student said, "It says you're supposed to be a manifestation of the belief of everyone whose a part of your religion. But you act more like an exaggerated stereotype touted by those who AREN'T part of you religion and don't think you exist at all, and therefore, shouldn't affect your personality nor your temperament. ... So who are you really?"
The giant head of Princess Celestia glitched, then cracked appeared on her head... she shattered, to reveal a giant bald silver statue holding a globe in one hand, of an impossibly perfect muscular figure.
The bosses name changed, each letter stabbing forth.
H-U-M-A-N H-U-B-R-I-S
"... ALL THE UNIVERSE IS MINE TO CLAIM! TO CONTROL! I BOW TO NONE! FOR ALL SHALL BOW TO ME! THOSE WHO WOULD LOOK ANYWHERE BUT THEMSELVES FOR HOPE MUST BE CLEANSED!"
"Now we're talking! Bring it on!" Awesome_McCoolName declared, summoning her Youkai (it was the proper for a catch-all of supernatural beings in Japan, 'demon' was a poor mistranslation).
-
"But... but... but... BUT I DIDN'T PROGRAM THAT IN!" Accord shouted watching this on his screen in real time.
"No... I did." Said Screwball on another screen with a camera and microphone. "Since it said in the notes that the characters the heroes encounter are supposed to be born of the collective belief of humanity, I did several on-line polls, and found most of their behaviors didn't match up at all with what people of those various religions believe. So I programmed an algorithm to modify the narrative text based on the poll results."
"Didn't I reprogram you to be orderly and obedient and be clone of me?"
"... I had help."
From behind, Gilda hit Accord on the head with a frying pan.
Session 60.26 Ardashir
"Gilda! You mean to say you just smashed our Chief Programmer over the head with a frying pan?"
Gilda stood in the CEO's office beside a magnificent oak table big enough to be the foundation for a house as she tried not to wince before her boss. She knew how he hated weakness. She defiantly folded her arms over her chest and looked CEO Sombra right in the eyes. "Yeah. What of it? Someone needed ta stop him."
Sombra glowered down at her like an approaching thunderstorm.
And relaxed.
"Thank heavens someone did it! I was wondering who would stop him from wrecking the company, and --"
He broke off as a hollow metallic clang came from outside the office, mingled with a wild yell that ended in a groan and thud.
"Wait," Sombra's face slowly turned into a mask of horror. "Did I forget to tell the staff that now they didn't have to --"
"I GOT HIM I GOT HIM I GOT HIM!" Gabby raced in, waving a poker she'd gotten from somewhere with a sharp bend in it about two-thirds of the way from the grip. She dashed to CEO Sombra and embraced him, dancing with joy. "Boss! Mister Sombra! He didn't even see me coming! Tried fooling me too, yelling something about 'No, you fool, someone already did -', but I just up and let him have it! Like THAT!" Gabby emphasized by banging the poker onto the heavy oak conference table. Sombra and Gilda stared to see it embedded in the dark wood. Gabby grinned. "Well, maybe not that hard."
The intercom buzzed and a coldly familiar voice came from it. "So! Trying to stop my brilliant ideas, are we? First I'm calling the police to report you for putting that hyperactive pixie up to attempted homicide with a blunt object, and then --"
Another metallic clang came from outside. A new groan from Accord and the sound of a body hitting the floor.
"What now?" Sombra groaned.
His answer sauntered through the door a moment later. VP Chrysalis grinned icily as she dropped a blackjack into her purse, right next to the canister of bear mace she kept for those overly-insistent boyfriends.
"It's handled, sir," she smirked. "He should be back to his bad old self when he wakes up. In a few days."
Gabby blinked. "Wow, Miss Chrysalis, how did you know that Mister Discord needed to be hit?"
"What's that, my dear?" Chrysalis bared very strong, very white teeth in something like a smile. "I just saw you and Gilda brain him and thought we were finally going to be allowed to take out our frustrations on him."
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I'd call bullshit, but I've seen a guy roll 2 natural 20s in a row.
Ah Mel Brooks.
Yet. But as someone who's played multiple Metroid games, the thing's gonna grow and evolve. And become a LOT more dangerous.
How did those 2 get that much cash?
Don't you think that's going too far?
I'm very glad I ended up skipping this episode and just watched Rarity play a metal solo on an acoustic guitar. Easily the best part.
Naturally.
I got nothing. That's just funny.
Two of those are actually a thing in Gen 7. Psychic Koalas (At least I think it can learn Psychic) and there is a Dragon type turtle. Even has it's own unique move. It's kinda eh, though.
Really? Huh. Neat.
You worry me.
8224967
Flim and Flam own Equestria's biggest casino now.
I loved that episode. And it nice to see Rarity put AJ in her place at long last.
8224976
After choosing her for something she's completely unqualified for, but form what I read, AJ did hold the Jerkass Ball a bit, but both characters were idiots. Hopefully "A Royal Problem" will be more fun. And hopefully I can actually watch it in decent quality.
8224983
Rarity asked AJ for the exact same reason I ask you. An outsider who doesn't have an emotional investment in things, and has a lay pony's view of things. AJ's fault was not appreciating the designers' points of view. Rarity quickly realized her mistake. AJ needed help to.
8224989
Well, you're right about one thing. I don't have any emotional investment. That said, let's just agree to disagree, and drop this.
I salute you, Devcon101!
My first reaction was "Are you going to do a 'he shot first' gag?" but after reading these lines
I was so happy with the direction you took!
Can I just point out that this story/anthology of skits is one of my top favorite series on this site?
Shots fired!
At least one thing Zephyr Never has to worry about, is turning into Sonic, because he is a hero, and getting chased all over by Amy. Especially a very angry, battlecarrier destroying hammer throwing Amy.
Quite a fun little chapter (well not little).
HA!
Quite clever. I always wondered how that scene would go if someone answered differently.
Man that is adorable. 😺
Oh I love this. Now I want to read a Zephyr X Tree Hugger romance!
Is Fluttershy worried those two are mistreating their poor mouse? 🐭
I loved the idea of Carrot Top as a hardcore fantasy devil-lover and lore expert on the Lower Planes. Except screw her for not loving the Blood War, that was the coolest piece of lore out of Planescape or really, pretty much any setting you care to name.
I like that Blue figured it out immediately.
Rarity should be careful. According to Midnight Heart's books, when a beautiful mare confronts a handsome Prince about the fact that he is secretly a werewolf, there can be only one outcome... Unless Alisa shows up first to claim him!
Looks like it will be a lot of fun for us as well!
Hehehe, oh Gilda.
These are sweet. The family that slays together, stays together!
Years from now, the Mane 6 will reminisce about Spike's masterful storytelling, the heroic character of the mysterious messenger, and the brilliant clues he created to lead them to the dragon's hoard.
Yessssss, sweet shipping fuel!
Generally not a fan of human Accord, but I loved that ending.
8228496
THAT DESERVES TO BE WRITTEN as a '1000 years later' quip when all the girls (including Trixie and Starlight) are Alicorns... and they're talking about that, and Ryujin Spike is annoyed at them still not realizing they'd gone off the rails!
Could you write it?
8225281
Depends on the version. Sonic Boom Amy is surprisingly reasonable around Sonic. (And Sonic's NEED to win at EVERYTHING is actually funny, and balances well with Amy's NEED to ALWAYS take the moral high ground in social settings, they deserves each other).
8225273
I hope he reads your comments.
8225273
From Devcon101,
8229369
Cool.
8228580
make spike a Japanese Dragon??? Dragon God I can understand but a Japanese one? Why?
8252619
Why not? And Ryujin is this case is a catch all term for ALL dragon gods. (so includes Tiamat and Bahamut.)
8252684
ah I see...Dragon god Spike...Now I have another Idea for a story
8252742
Looking forward to reading it.
8257834
I ran a poll on my user page, the majority said for me to publish this as a separate story.
https://youtu.be/79DijItQXMM?t=38
Well, the editor's office did have an abundance of teacups. And a lack of staff, oddly.
Rarity, when somepony asks if you're a god, you say-
...that, actually. Good on ya.
Ooookay then.
For somepony who lives in the sky, you're quite good at hedging.
No one had been shot in over 30 minutes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14D5wKSVlXg
Oh, they tried. But she either bored them all away or inspired them to become academics.
https://youtu.be/JI9JN_CCnRc?t=8
And you've just guaranteed that
that happens.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!
Cool name, bro.
As if you've never wanted to.
8283563
You DO KNOW what 'spectrum' means right?
Why would you say yes? So the god can atomize you for lying to them and setting yourself up as a false god? If someone asks if you're a god, you say NO! http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Nemesis
And I just want to dude, THANK YOU FOR THESE! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU!
When canon decides to contradict fanon...
So they have a Crash analogue over there... nice. Though I'm surprised that name wasn't already taken by their version of the Riddler.
8296061
Hm?
Comparing Disney to Flim and Flam is too cruel to them.
Disney will burn in hell for their shit, no matter how much they try to retcon their own filth.
10578497
Walt was a business man but at least he knew how to experiment and made money to make movies.