farron eclipse
Joined 2nd Aug, 2015 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Wolfie702 · 11k words · 187 9 · 5.2k views
- CrAzY FaLcOn · 83k words · 166 19 · 5.2k views
- Urimas Ebonheart · 196k words · 1,228 114 · 15k views
- Urimas Ebonheart · 55k words · 177 10 · 4.2k views
- LadyMaria · 72k words · 361 30 · 9.8k views
- ScarFox9700 · 84k words · 315 26 · 5.3k views
- ElementBrigade · 39k words · 151 9 · 3.4k views
- Radiant Dawn · 47k words · 245 19 · 5.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.075 seconds
Total duration
986 users online
95,111 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Interesting. Are the pony's in this story Anthro?
6576464 yes they are
Before even touch this, the title isn't properly capitalized.
6578697 I will fix it I have more story's to do before I go back and fix it
You don't need that comma
You don't need to capitalize 'Royal Duties' unless it's the name of something or if you're using in the manner I did ('Royal Duties' or "Royal Duties"). But that just makes it sound like Celestia's not actually doing anything.
You can use numbers if you want, but you dan't have to (Just a suggestion). But if you want to stick with words, It would do good to capitalize 'nine' on acount of the :. Also, it's P.M.
You forgot a space after the comma.
Capitalize 'she' (the colon (:) is like another form of the period) and I've noticed that tend to capitalize some words that don't really need to be capitalized.
Whereas you're not exactly wrong, It would fit better if was: "but I suppose you cannot 'win them all,' as they say,"
Missing an 'A'?
Space
I like this story. It's has a good plot/idea and well written. I look forward to more.
You should click on the 'Anthro' tag for this story because, from reading, it's obvious they're anthro. And with that, I have a couple questions:
How do they use magic? Do they have a horn or is it like the force where the magic is directed through their hands?
And do they have wings?
6578740 srry for the missing letters my editor hasn't been on in a while so I can't really focus on one story I have another one going on but besides that they do use magic and it's through there hands and they don't have wings
I'll hold off my full opinion until I see more, but so far it's not bad.
For an 'Elite Soldier' her fieldcraft is awful.
This reminds me a lot of another fic, but with the characters humanized, I can't remember the name
Space.
also - It's sometimes difficult to destinguish thought from the rest of the text. If you're willing to listen, I have a suggestion: italicize the thoughts.
Does it say anything about me that I am completely unsurprised that the military in Equestria would make a joke like that?
Just curious...