After my great howl, I decided to take the opportunity to try and understand my situation. Moving on all fours like a wolf felt natural to me, far more natural than standing up on my rear paws ever could. When an attempt at standing on my hind legs made me flip over, landing on my back with my paws up in the air and feeling distinctly like a upended turtle, I decided to remain down on all fours like nature intended.
I scratched at an ear with a hind leg as I considered what I remembered from the game. If I was down on the world that I had observed for millions of years, then it wouldn't be a good idea for me to go anywhere without the ability to protect myself. Most of the land was completely safe, safe enough that a ten-year old with a bag of money could safely walk from one end of the country without any troubles whatsoever. Other areas, well...
Let me put it this way: I was extremely grateful I hadn't dressed up as an rpg character to that convention that was so long ago, I barely remember it anymore. Most of the world, it's like: slime, slime, imp, slime. Pathetic enemies that are barely worth the effort of killing. But take like twenty steps in the wrong direction and you'll be assaulted by the fucking Ultima Weapon or Warmech or something like that with zero warning. The place is the definition of bullshit difficulty curve. Dark Souls got nothing on some of the beasties here.
Speaking of, I take a moment to look at the area around me. If I'm recognizing it correctly, and I'm pretty sure I am, then I think I'm standing in the forest that borders the land ruled by the two large winged and horned ponies. Two? Is it still two? I look up at the sun and a concerned whine escapes me. I hope it's still two. I really came to care for both of them over the years, even if they would have no idea who I am.
Well, now I have an objective. Find out if both of those two are still alive and what has become of them. For some reason, my eyes drift to a point directly on my muzzle and it takes me a moment to realize what I'm doing. I'm watching my nose, as if I'm expecting for some inch-tall individual to suddenly appear on it and start bouncing away, all while explaining to me what I'm supposed to be doing. Like Navi, only with an affixation to breasts and a tiny little sword he's always eager to use. So, an awesome version of Navi.
Several seconds pass in awkward silence before I realize that there is going to be no Issun for me and I sigh in disappointment. Shame. Issun had some of the best moments in the game. Whether it was hiding in Sakuya's clothes at the very beginning, getting batted around like some sort of toy by Ammy and Kabegami (that's the cat god), giving Amaterasu the much more memorably name of 'Ammy' and constantly mocking Waka, or that utter spectacular moment of greatness at the very end, Issun was always a joy whenever he was around. Heck, most of the dialogue in the game was between Issun and other characters while Ammy usually napped in the background, totally uninterested in what everyone else was talking about.
Heehee. Ammy was great.
But I suppose it's going to be solo adventure for this wolf-goddess. With a momentary thought, I pull open my inventory and take a look at what items I possess. This reaches only a momentarily stumbling block when I realize I have no idea how I pulled my inventory open or where I could be storing all these items, but I quickly push the thought aside. If Twilight Princess Link can get away with holding a giant heavy ball and chain in his hat or wherever he keeps it without it affecting him so long as he doesn't have it pulled out, surely I can have this. Or Ocarina of Time Link with his iron boots in the water temple. If they're on, he sinks. If not, he floats.
Physics!
Anyway, a quick investigation of my inventory (... don'tthinkaboutit, don'tthinkaboutit...) revealed to me that I had ninety-nine of every item in the game. Or at least, I thought I did. As I watched, the numbers seemed to shimmer and shift, going from ninety-nine to the infinity symbol and back again. Curious as to what this could mean, I selected a Holy Bone S, the most basic of healing items. To my joy and wonderment, the air in front of me starts to shimmer and swirl for just a second before a small white bone with a blue stripe running down the center and a pair of exorcism tags hanging off the middle.
My stomach grumbles, and I realize with some shock how long it's been since I've eaten a proper meal. Well, I don't actually know how long it's been, but at least a couple million years. I'd honestly prefer a burger or something but I somehow feel like the bone in front of me is the best option I'm going to get.
With a wolfish shrug, I grab the bone in my paws and try to hold it so I can bite into it. It takes a little bit of effort, but I eventually manage to wrap my mouth around the large, hard bone. As I'm enjoying my tasty treat, I pull open the inventory once more and I'm only slightly surprised by what I see. The number for Small Bone S hasn't changed in the slightest. It's still slowly jumping back and forth between ninety-nine and infinite.
I contemplate what that means as the solid bone in my mouth suddenly twitches under my ministrations and a rich and powerful taste suddenly floods my mouth. Could I really have an infinite number of all my consumable items? What's the catch?
I suppose it might seem like I'm taking this more calmly then I should, but that's not unexpected. After spending several million years as a sun, there's really not that much that can surprise me anymore.
While I continue to examine my inventory, I should take the chance to explain what consumable items I have. First on the list --since I've already mentioned one of them -- are Holy Bone S, Holy Bone M, and Holy Bone L. Those are the small, medium, and large healing items respectively. Pretty simple.
The next group are the feedbags. That's Feedbag (seeds), Feedbag (Herbs) Feedbag (Meat), and Feedbag (Fish). All these items are used to feed creatures that eat that type of food. Again, pretty straightforward.
After that, there's Exorcism Slip S, Exorcism Slip M, and Exorcism Slip L. These do damage to enemies in an area around Ammy. If you need me to tell you which one does the least damage and which does the most, you're clearly not old enough to be allowed outside on your own. On a similar bent, there's the Vengeance Slip, which temporarily reflects damage back to enemies.
Next, we have some of my favourite items. The first is the Inkfinity Stone. In Ōkami, ink is basically mana and allows you to cast spells, or Celestial Brush Techniques. We'll get to those in a minute. The Inkfinity Stone temporarily gives you infinite ink, which is exactly as much fun as it sounds.
Next in my list of 'items that are awesome', we have the Traveler's Charm and the Godly Charm. The Traveler's Charm increases Ammy's Godhood by one, while the Godly Charm increases Godhood to max. Godhood is like... hmm... well... Actually, I can't think of a suitable example from any other game. I suppose Godhood would be best described as a protective shield. As Ammy attacks her enemies and increases her combo, her Godhood steadily stacks up to the max rank of three. If Ammy is hit by an attack and she has a least one level of Godhood, the Godhood takes the blow instead and Ammy is left completely unharmed. She doesn't even flinch. It is completely badass. The blow can be anything from a sissy little minion punch to a meteor to the face. Doesn't matter. Ammy just 'Nopes' the damage and walks it off. Godhood drops a rank whenever she gets hit, naturally, and she'll take the blow in full if she's hit without any Godhood to protect her, so it's not a perfect defense.
Moving down the list, we have Steel Fist Sake and Steel Soul Sake. These items temporarily increase Ammy's attack and defense, respectively. You're reading that right. Ammy is a big badass friendly wolf that drinks booze to become more powerful. I don't think she could be any more awesome.
Next there's Gold Dust, which permanently increases one weapon's attack power. A weapon can only be boosted once, so having a ton of these isn't as overpowered as it could be.
Running out of items here. We then have the Mermaid Coin, which allows Ammy to teleport between Mermaid Springs. Unfortunately, I don't think this world has Mermaid Springs so I'm not sure how useful these could be.
Finally, we end off the list with the mighty Golden Peach. A Golden Peach fills one Astral Pouch when used. The Astral Pouch is basically Ammy's stomach and is slowly filled up by eating food she finds around the world. She can have a maximum of four. Don't think about it too hard. I guess wolf-goddesses are like cows. However, a Golden Peach skips the slow build-up and instantly fills the Astral Pouch. A full Astral Pouch is like a bottled fairy from most any Legend of Zelda game only better. If Ammy runs out of health and dies at any time that she has a full Astral Pouch, the Astral Pouch is emptied and Ammy returns to life at full health.
It was at this point that I noticed that the Holy Bone S in my mouth had stopped giving off any flavour. I glanced down at the bone and realized that I had long since sucked the bone clean of its sweet marrow, leaving behind only an empty shell. I discarded the remnants of my meal and tapped a spot on the inventory screen, this time summoning a Holy Bone L. Fitting the much larger bone into my mouth took some effort, and I nearly choked on it when I underestimated its size and accidentally triggered my gag reflex, but I eventually managed to get everything under control and continued my perusal.
After that, I reached the key items. Most of them were simply things related to plot progression, so let's skip the basic ones and instead focus on the ones that grant me special abilities.
And there certainly is none more special than the Lucky Mallet. This nifty little magic item shrinks the one its used on down to a single inch tall. Another hit restores the target back to normal size. Unlike the rest of my items, it's not restricted to me, so I could theoretically use it on someone else if I needed to bring them with me for whatever reason. It's an excellent item for getting into new places or sneaking past guards. Only problem is that spiders turn into terrifying monstrosities and ordinary people suddenly turn into Colossi. And me without my bow and infinite quiver of arrows.
And that's all the Key Items that are likely to help me in any way. Yay! I mean, I suppose I could use the mask or something, but if someone's looking for a white wolf and they happen to bump into a white wolf wearing a piece of paper on its face, I somehow doubt they'll shrug the event off and go look elsewhere. That only works against Yokai.
Then we have the weapons, but let's skip those for now. I'll jaw about them another time, maybe in combat when they actually become important. For now, all you need to know is that Ammy's weapon of choice, and my current weapon which even now rests on my back, is the Divine Retribution. It's a Reflector and it looks like a green disk that is constantly emitting flames.
Next, we have the really special stuff. This is what I've been looking forwards to ever since I opened up my inventory in the first place. The Holy Artifacts. As you might guess by the name, these little tools are awesome. The only problem is that only three can be equipped at a time, but that's a small trade off.
The first item is the Golden Lucky Cat, which draws items to me. It's probably the least useful of all the Holy Artifacts and I doubt I'll ever use it. Next!
Then there's the Peace Bell, which prevents Demon Scrolls from chasing after Ammy. If Ammy touches a Demon Scroll, she's jumped by a group of Yokai. These are the game's common enemies, and can range from fairly difficult to trash mobs. However, I've never seen a Demon Scroll on this world in all the years I've been watching it, nor am I likely to. Useless.
Here's something that I can actually use. The Wood Mat. By sleeping on it, I can exchange Yen in order to recover health. But I don't have any Yen. What I do have is an infinite supply of Holy Bones, which are the health recovery item. So I can't use it after all. This has just been one string of disappointments after another.
There's the Fog Pot, which I can use once in order to learn the Celestial Brush Technique Mist Warp. But I already know this ability, so this item doesn't help me at all.
The Golden Ink Pot is next. Finally, something I can use! The Golden Ink Pot increases the rate at which I regenerate Ink. Ink recovers three times as fast, meaning that I'll be able to use Celestial Brush Techniques that much faster. True, I could dip into my infinite number of Inkfinity Stones, but that feels like more effort than it's worth outside of pitched battles. Equipped.
Then we have what is arguably the second best item in the entire game; the Thief's Glove. With the Thief's Glove, Ammy could use Issun to steal items away from enemies. Even better, Issun deals damage when this ability is used, with the amount of damage increasing with practice to the point where he is capable of taking out all but the strongest enemies with one swing. But I don't have Issun. Sigh.
Here's something fun. The Fire Tablet. Basically, it makes me immune to fire. That's it. Someone's breathing fire at me? No problem. Need to swim through lava? Pshhht. Need to swim up a lava geyser? Who do you think I am? So very equipped.
Ah, something else that's good. The Water Tablet. With this, I can walk on water. Yes, I am your god. Equipped.
Finally, we reach the unquestionable greatest item in the game, and possible one of the greatest items in all of gaming. The String of Beads. Made from 100 Stray Beads gathered throughout the game -- many of which require accomplishing some difficult sidequests to obtain -- the String of Beads takes any semblance of difficulty the game might have and promptly breaks it in half. The String of Beads makes you immortal. No ifs, ands, or buts. Ammy just plain stops taking damage. No matter how the enemies may try, no matter what sort of forces they might try to bring against her, she'll shrug it all off and keep powering through. She still recoils if something hits her, but her health remains undamaged. As if that's not enough, she has infinite ink with the String of Beads equipped and deals ten times as much damage as normal with every hit, which is more than enough to instantly kill most enemies. Truly, the String of Beads turns Ammy into an absolutely unstoppable force of nature.
Which is why I shouldn't be surprised that there is a big empty hole in my inventory where the String of Beads is supposed to go.
Doing a little poking around in my inventory, I manage to find where it tells me how many Stray Beads I currently possess. Care to make a guess? I need a hundred to create the String of Beads. I have ninety-nine. Someone's having a laugh.
Finally reaching the end of the inventory, I come to the Celestial Brush Techniques. These are the Ammy's signature abilities and they are something truly special. With the press of a button, Ammy transforms the world into a painting and then uses her tail as a paintbrush in order to affect the world as she needs to. Or just wants to. Most of the abilities are locked to her at the beginning of the game, and she has to travel the world and find the other gods in order to relearn the Celestial Brush Techniques.
Why am I not surprised that I've already got all of them unlocked, including the secret Techniques?
The first ability Ammy gets, which she starts the game with, is Sunrise. Fitting considering her title of Sun Goddess. By drawing a circle in the sky, she can summon the sun and turn night to day instantly. Perfect for dispelling the darkness, prolonging the day, and drying off wet laundry.
The first ability Ammy relearns, taught by the dragon god Yomigami, is Rejuvination. This ability repairs missing or broken parts of objects. Unfortunately, it's a very situational ability and likely the least used in the entire game.
Following the least useful Celestial Brush Technique, we have possibly the most useful; the Power Slash, taught by the rat god Tachigami. By drawing a straight line across her painting, Ammy creates a powerful slash capable of slicing through weak objects. And by weak, I mean it can be upgraded to slice through diamonds. It can also be used to reflect enemy projectiles back at them, which is never a bad thing.
Then we have the three Greenspout abilities, which are taught by the three Hanagami, the monkey gods. Their uses and abilities are varied enough that I'll speak of them separately.
First is Bloom, taught by Sakigami. By drawing a circle around withered trees, wilted clovers, or closed flower buds, Ammy can rejuvenate trees, restore nature, and cause flower buds to blossom. A fun use of the ability that has no effect on anything is to draw circles around NPCs, which makes most of them run over to pet Amaterasu. It also forces shapeshifters to change shape. Finally, by placing a single dot on the ground, Bloom can make full-sized trees suddenly sprout out of nowhere.
The next Greenspout ability is Water Lily, taught by Hasugami. By drawing a circle on the water surface, Ammy creates a lily pad strong enough to support her weight. This is good, because Ammy can only dog paddle, and she's not very good at it. There's something horribly embarrassing about the origin of all that is good and mother to us all drowning in a pond that's not even ten feet across. However, the Water Tablet renders this ability mostly obsolete, so I doubt I'll get much use of it.
The last Greenspout ability is Vine, taught by Tsutagami. By drawing a line from a Konohana blossom to something else, Ammy can make a vine lash out and tie around that something. If it's Ammy herself, then the vine instantly pulls her to the blossom. If it's an enemy, then the enemy is tied up for a few seconds until they break free. I haven't seen any Konohana blossoms in this world while I've been watching it, but there are some plants that I hope work just as well. I'll have to test it and see.
Moving away from Greenspout, we then come to Cherry Bomb, taught by the boar god Bakugami. By drawing a circle with a line going through it, similar in appearance to a Q, Ammy can summon a powerful explosive capable of blowing through cracked walls or floors. By upgrading the ability, Ammy can summon two or three bombs at the same time. Very nice, but about as subtle as an avalanche.
Next is Waterspout, taught by the snake god Nuregami. When near a body of water, Ammy can draw a line from that body of water to another object in order to make the water douse whatever she has chosen. Or, in areas where the power of water is especially strong, Ammy can draw a line straight up to create a geyser that can then be ridden up.
Waterspout has two upgraded abilities. The first is Fountain, which allows Ammy to transport between Mermaid Springs without spending Mermaid Coins by drawing a circle or a swirl over them. Again, no Mermaid Springs, so... The other upgrade is Deluge. By drawing a pair of vertical lines next to each other, Ammy can create a rainstorm.
Back to the basic Celestial Brush Techniques, we have Crescent, taught by the rabbit god Yumigami. By drawing a crescent in the sky, Ammy can summon the moon and instantly turn day into night. It's the exact opposite of Amaterasu's own trademark brush technique, Sunrise.
After that is Galestorm, taught by the horse god Kazegami. By drawing a loop in the air, Amaterasu can summon a strong gust of wind to assist her. It's upgraded form is Whirlwind, which is performed by drawing three horizontal lines. It creates a tornado around Amaterasu which is capable of blowing enemies away.
The next ability is Inferno, taught by the phoenix god Moegami. When near a source of open flames, Ammy can draw a line from those flames to somewhere else in order to burn her target. It's as much fun as it sounds.
However, sometimes you won't have access to an open fire pit. For this, you have the upgraded ability, Fireburst. By drawing an infinity symbol, Ammy can create massive spheres of fire wherever she pleases.
After a heavily offensive ability, the next one is much more defensive; Veil of Mist, taught by the sheep god Kasugami. By drawing a pair of horizontal lines, Ammy covers the area in thick fog that temporarily slows down time. I'm not exactly sure how fog equals time control, but I'm not going to argue with a goddess. Especially not one that might run off with and bury my shoes if I annoy her.
The upgraded form of Veil of Mist is Mist Warp, which I had mentioned in passing before. By drawing an X over an Ultimate Origin Mirror -- which are special save points -- Ammy can warp to any other Ultimate Origin Mirror in areas she has already visited. But just like the problem with Mermaid Springs, this world seems to lack Ultimate Origin Mirrors.
Then is Catwalk, taught by the -- surprise! -- cat god Kabegami. When near statues of Kabegami, Ammy can draw a line on a nearby wall in order to create a trail of glowing pawprints that she can then stick to, allowing her to scale the wall with ease. No Kabegami statues here, blah, blah, blah.
Nearing the end, we come to Thunderstorm, taught by the tiger god Gekigami. When in the presence of lightning, Ammy can draw a line from the lightning bolt to something else in order to redirect the lightning and shock her unfortunate target.
Thunderstorm's upgraded ability is Thunderbolt. By drawing a lightning symbol (Ϟ), Ammy can summon a lightning bolt at any time she pleases, even during a sunny day without a cloud in the sky. Heck, she can even do it underground! Gods don't care about your petty rules.
The final Celestial Brush Technique, taught by the ox god Itegami, is the powerful Blizzard ability. Much like Waterspout, Inferno, and Thunderstorm, when near a source of ice, Ammy can draw a line from it to somewhere else in order to freeze that target.
And much like Waterspout, Inferno, and Thunderstorm, Blizzard also has an upgraded ability: Icestorm. By drawing an X with a horizontal strike through it (Ӿ), Ammy can summon a flurry of snowflakes and icicles capable of freezing anything unfortunate enough to be nearby.
Whew! That was quite a list! I suck out the last traces of meat within my Holy Bone before putting it aside. Feeling much better than I had when I had first awoken, I haul myself upright. Somehow feeling like I should be looking for some sort of checkpoint to save my progress, I push the feeling aside and instead consider the wall of trees all around me. Figuring one direction was as good as any other, I picked a random direction and started walking.
And walk I did. And walked. And walked.
I haven't read this story just yet but I'm going to track it just because its not only about Ammy but by the general praise seems to be a rare displaced story that actually seems to be well-written and good! I hope you finish it and don't become me who has his entire displaced story thought out but is sitting on a half completed chapter for several months.
more please!
Very nicely done, though there is one glaring problem: I can't seem to get to the next chapter.
Explaining everything in such detail isn't really needed, keeping it more general and to the point would've been preferable. And yes I could simply have skipped it, but I know nothing of the game and I assume I need some knowledge to follow future chapter.
*Rant over*
Need more Celestia shipping. ;)
GAH! You took my favorite game, crossed it with my favorite show, and wrote it in the absolute worst genre possible! I'm so conflicted...
-Sanity is overrated
Got hooked by the first chapter. And this one was great too. Just the listing of the inventory items was a little much. So glad thats over with. Well ill be watch this story!
Well, can't say your username isn't spot on.
6351963
Have you read a story called Summoning the Sun? It's also an Okami crossover, and does an amazing job at showing her characterization. Honestly, a character doesn't need to talk in order to give an idea as to what they are like.
In a way, she reminds me of an even more casual version of Celestia in that she is very kind, but also playful and mischievous.
Eh, another story in which simply inserting the character would simply work just fine and be so much better than going 'Human dressed as X character' instead.
Okami was an excellent game, and the lore itself is phenomenal, but the whole human thing... I'm sorry, but this really would have served much better with the actual Amaterasu character inside Equestria. Good luck.
Tracked, liked, and faved. You have some excellent writing skills and I can't wait to see what happens next with your character.
6355399
Reaching that 1 year mark for [F]emale buddddeeee
6355221 You have that problem too? On to more serious news, woo! More good story! Now to be taunted by Kasugami during the wait.
Celly, "Well this is awkward, now we have two sun gods."
I love this so very, very much my dear!
a few things.
1: I freaking LOVE the game Okami, I got it for my ps3, and have all the trophys.
2: I LOVE this story so far and i eagerly await an update!
3: I hope to see an update soon!
I actually greatly enjoy this story! And I'm greatly invested in what's going on. Also, if you are in wanting of an editor, or a proofreader, I'm available!
I was gone for like two hours. Then I come back and my inbox is like: "Hi! You missed everything!"
My, this was certainly a wave of downvotes/upvotes. Looks like a bit of a mixed reception, all things considered.
I certainly can't wait for the reception to Chapter Six, where the plot kicks in for real and I'll be able to explain why I made some of the choices I did when it came to this story.
Eheeheeheeheeheehee.
I dunno why, but this piqued my interest. I wanna see where it goes. Tracking.
6351963
So no tokens?
WOOHOO! YES!!!
*watches the story slowly trundle along*
I'll keep an eye on this, in case it actually starts doing anything.
THOSE FUCKING BEADS MAN
...but it's so worth it, amirite?
6355898
But, she does have a personality, so there is literally no reason not to have her in the story.
As it stands, this story is claiming to be an Okami crossover without actually using anything from Okami. In fact, I'd say it could be debated whether or not these stories should even have the crossover tag, considering the context.
6355703 At least your planing it out.
6351963
I don't entirely agree. I think that a Displaced collab could actually be done and be very good.
However, I'm also convinced that, rather than a crossover within a single story, it would have to stand on its own in some way. For instance, a separate story wherein the characters involved have to come together to destroy some greater threat, and then afterwards they return to whence they came.
My point is, Displaced stories are already over-the-top, so any collab, to really work, has to be even bigger and more over-the-top; it has to stand-out as something that could not have happened otherwise. If it doesn't, then what was the point, really?
Go big, or go back to playschool, says I.
Addendum:
There are other Ōkami stories on the site, yes. There are only a couple that I actually like, and many of them will never be finished for one reason or another.
I like this one. What I especially like, and what I think others are glossing over, is that Samantha doesn't become Amaterasu from the game so much as she becomes Amaterasu the literal sun from Shinto; the White Wolf Amaterasu is just her avatar or agent on the planet, much in the way that Shiranui was Ammy's avatar or agent when Nagi went to slay Yamata no Orochi.
Perhaps more importantly, we have yet to see evidence that she is aware of much of FiM, or even if FiM was a thing when she vanished from Earth. When she does arrive planetside, her investment in befriending or helping its inhabitants is not because she recognizes them from a piece of fiction, but because she spent thousands or millions of maybe even billions of years watching the planet come into its own, watching them grow and develop, watching them struggle and triumph, and pick themselves back up when they failed. It gives her an eminently believable motivation because she doesn't want to help them because it's the right thing to do or because it's "what her character would do," but because it's what she wants to do.
Really, I don't understand the angle that some are taking, that this story would work better with the actual Amaterasu instead of Amaterasu played by Samantha. When you get down to it, Amaterasu is a pseudo-blank slate. We don't really know much about her, aside from a brief summary of events prior to the start of Ōkami. I don't see how actually having Amaterasu would necessarily make the story "better."
XD
Ugh, that info dump. I know why it was necessary, but maybe it could have been broken up throughout the story, giving us insight into her powers only when they become necessary? I did like the ending though, it was very touching. More of that would be great.
*optimism rises*
The info dump was really excessive, and detracts from the interesting part of your premise: the whole 'I'm the sun, what' -> 'ponies, what' -> 'oh, now I'm a wolf that's the sun that's a god. And everything I know and love is gone and I don't know what to do' part. Specific mechanical info from the game is much less interesting. and honestly could be left out to be mentioned when relevant, or explicitly set in a side-chapter so it doesn't clog up your main story.
[mashes mass guessing buttons] IN b4 bead 100 is the Elements of Harmony.
Looks like the two main complaints of the story so far are: "Wraagh, it doesn't need to be a Displaced story," and "that infodump was too long."
I agree the infodump was too long and, ideally, it could have been spread throughout the story somehow. But I couldn't think of a way to do that without clogging up some important scenes down the road. The story might be a little front-heavy now, but at least I don't have to explain much of anything about the game ever again.
The only way I could think of to introduce the abilities that felt even remotely natural would be to have her lose them when she came to earth and slowly gain them back. However, not only would that be a literaly copy and paste of what the game does, that wouldn't have worked as well because it would have lacked any sense of wonder. In the game, there's always that sense of awe, that feeling of 'what ability am I going to get next?' But we already know all the abilities Ammy gets. The best I could do would be to mix up the order she gets them.
There's another reason I couldn't do that, but that's in the future.
In hindsight, maybe I should have broken the chapter into two and had the infodump as its own, skippable chapter. I thought the ctrl+f would work but I suppose not. I might do that when I post another chapter.
Also: The hell? How did this thing climb to the second spot of the feature box?
i really need to play Okami ! i mean i have it sitting in the drawer behind me but i have not played it yet >.<
6356724 Wraaaagh, it doesn't need to be a displaced story!
As a side note, that info dump was way too long.
...
You're an OC disguised as a character people actually love.
Jokes aside, this is not as bad as I expected. Although I am puzzled how there was a goddess in the sun that Celestia never noticed. You'd think that working magic on something for several hundred years would make that obvious, especially since the goddess would presumably be trying to reach out.
The sequence as the sun feels very unnecessary. If it is a once-off thing that will never be mentioned again and in that case why not go directly to Okami form? If it is an excuse to put the human turned sun goddess above the Princesses in knowledge, wisdom, etc then it's even worse. The protagonist should not be the wise mentor figure; they should be the person discovering themselves or the world. Seeing as how the intro already introduces her as more powerful than Celestia and Luna combined and paints a future of near utopia, likely thanks to her, it is not unreasonable to think that she is being set up as a Mary Sue.
For a moment I thought you would go the completely overpowered route there and take all the fun out of this, but thankfully you didn't, even if infinite items skirts very close to it.
Nice idea, keep it up.
6356390 That or reveal it as she went.
Really good, so far! I've never played Okami, though. But this is still really great to read!
Was a good read.
6357077 Amaterasu is actually a Japanese god, so it's just been taken from history and put in a game.
6357481 Well, it's still perfect for me, because I love mythology.
6351919 to explain the whole time passing thing, did you really expect the author to detail out severl millions upon billions of years of simply floating in space before life finally developed on the planet below. "oh hey there went an asteroid several million lightyears away. Ohh i think that star system got a new planetoid." truthfully it wouldnt be all that interesting to read. It's like when other authors and shows depict travelling and skip huge chunks of time. To literally write down every detail would be boring AAF(as all f)
Now onto the story in general. First off, I would like to say yay, as there's a surprising lack of female to equestria stories. Granted yes I understand a huge chunk of the fanbase is most likely male and therefore has an easier time writing male characters, but still. It's good to see the girls getting in on the interdimensional fun. In reference to my above explanation about the time passing quickly, I actually enjoyed the fact that you had her start out as the actual flippin sun instead of straight out as amaterasu. Gives us time to sort of understand the eternity she went through getting over the sudden loss of her life, as well as the motherly role she felt seeing all the plants and animals bloom on Terra(or Equus however people prefer to call the planet). In all honesty, I enjoyed the recap half of the second chapter, seeing as how i've yet to actually sit down and play ookami myself.(yes i know tragedy, but meh). My only thoughts in the negative being the infinite inventory seems a little excessive, yes I understand it's a different world so the items might not be found/common, and yes she is technically a goddess so godmode bitches, but again i digress. As for the brush skills, maybe I would have had her try and find the constellations within the equestrian skies, or at least have some of the lesser powered skills, and have luna weave the constellations so you could learn them at a later time.
Well, that's all I have to say for now. have a favorite, a like, and I await more of this wonderful story.
This story is going to go places. Cant wait till more is written.
I put this on my “To Read” list because of how much I love the game and to see how you would mix the two settings together. I was a little worried it would turn out as another overpowered self-insert, especially after Celestia makes the remark that the wolf is probably more powerful than her. But I was pleasantly surprised by how cleverly you handled the main characters introduction to the world by actually having her be the Sun and being present for the entirety of the planets history. This helped me to feel that the main character had gone through something and in a way ‘earned’ the power that she would eventually have. I was feeling really good about the story at this point and was all set to go into the next chapter but then I hit that wall of item and power descriptions and it totally killed the momentum the first chapter built for me.
My problems with the start of the second chapter are not only the obvious issue of how it harms the flow of the story but also how it affects my expectations for the rest of the story. My first real issue was the big brick wall of exposition. I think perhaps you’re having the problem a lot of crossovers do and are being too slavishly devoted to some of the details of the source material. In this case the idea of Okami as a video game.
My suggestion would be to drop that she has an inventory and all of these items from the game. In fact, I would have you drop all references to game systems at all. Instead have her gradually remember abilities as she proceeds through the story. Maybe her memory was damaged from the amount of time she spent as the Sun so she only remembers bits and pieces about what Ammy is capable of until she discovers for herself or some memory of the game comes back?
For example, just give her the ability to walk on water and not tie it to an item. She remembers from the game that Ammy could do that and then tires it herself to find that she can as well. Also, several of the items you describe don’t seem to have a point in this world as they are so specific to the world of Okami so it seems like a waste of time to read about them. I guess what I’m advocating here is for you to treat Ammy as if she was a character and not a set of mechanics. You’ve done a bit of this when you had the plants move from her path in the second half of the chapter. I thought that was really cool how the plants kind of acknowledge that she’s the Sun and help her.
Overall I still liked most of what I read and will continue to keep an eye on this story despite some of my issues.
6355703
The infodump of inventory and powers was a bit of a grind to get through but other than that, a rather captivating opener leading into this much more relaxed second chapter. I do appreciate the human-Akami rather than a straight character insert, it gives us something to relate to rather than an alien (wolf goddess) who interacts with more aliens (Equestrians).
These little slice of life scenes can really help a story pace out the big and/or mega-events while providing much needed breathing room for readers-- and world-building between the broad lines of MLP:FiM is never a bad thing.
p.s. I do realize that by the main character's own definition, she is a Mary Sue. This is not necessarily a bad thing, this character is extremely powerful in it's own way because that's who she is. Now if it was a human in cosplay with the same powers, then that would be bad writing. Just keep in mind the consequences when using such powers. It's always the little people (ponies?) that suffer when titans go slugging it out.
I like this story
maybe you should add the powers and stuff in the authors note cause totally messed up the flow of the story (in my opinion)
6358207
I sort of agree/disagree here, if only because it does present a very interesting question: How, exactly, does a divine being actually perceive their divinity? As none of us are divine beings, that's kind of a tricky question to answer.
In my take on it, she doesn't actually have an inventory screen, much in the same way that a Terminator wouldn't actually have a HUD when it views the world. The Terminator's HUD is included there, really, as a tool to help the audience understand how it interacts with the world around it.
Similarly, her inventory screen exists as a purely metaphysical construct that provides her with a convenient way to catalog her abilities and divine instruments, as well as information she gleans from the world around her. Put another way, we all have our own "inventory screens;" hers just manifests as a metaphysical construct because she is a God, and reality was happy to accommodate her because of her divinity. To anyone else looking at her, it wouldn't be a matter of "that wolf pulled a sword from nowhere. It must have an inventory!" so much as it would be "that wolf just pulled a sword from nowhere. It must be a god!"
That being said, I'm not sure it was necessary to spend quite so much time there. I was able to skim it because I'm familiar with the game, but it might have worked better to perhaps mention the Celestial Brush and what it could do, but to explain the specific techniques as they became relevant.
6359034
I had a thought something like this as well. That since she was originally human perhaps the game systems and such are just her way of understanding the vast power she now has. She's using her knowledge of Okami the game to codify her new abilities. Perhaps as the story continues she will realize that these things are just a crutch and the the power lies in her and not the items and things she carries.
Either way, I'm glad that the item descriptions have been set off in their own chapter but ultimately I worry that it's a futile effort. From reading some of Devoid's comments it seems that most of the reason these descriptions were placed this early was to avoid having to go through them as the story progressed. But seven chapters from know are we really going to remember the description of some obscure item or power when if finally becomes relevant to the story again?
This has all the makings of a woe-is-me Mary Sue fic.
* Most powerful creature in existnece? Check.
* Gratuitous itemization of all her powers just so we know how how awesome she is? Check.
* Fawning and admiration from the otherwise most prestigious figure in the world? Check.
* Despite all this good fortune, nevertheless whining and complaining about how terribly unfortunate her situation is? Check.
"Oh, woe is me! I'm a goddess, and everyone either fears of loves me or both and I have infinite stuff and superpowers but...oh, it's just so terrible there are some powers I don't have! However will I cope?!!?!?"
Sorry dude. So far this is an absolutely cliche setup for a bad fic, and all I can think of it Ammy dressed up like an emo high schooler that everybody loves lamenting how terrible she has it while lavender unicorns who can't be referred to with pronouns shower her with love and attention.
You've set up a character who can't possibly have a difficult time with anything, and you're going to be stuck forever failing to try to come with anything interesting for her to do other than magically solve everyone's problems with her awesomeness while basking in attention between stubbing her toe and everyone acting like it's the end of the world.
Bonus points if everyone else suddenly becomes stupid and incompetent, and the romantic partner of the character you personally most like suddenly gets an out-of-character personality change to be a jerk so you can white knight in and save the day.
Can I assume she bring the top tier weapons with her? Solar Flare, Tundra Beads and Thunder edge?
That last bead, invulnerability, infinite inkstone and 10X damage at paw's reach.
Please tell me she'll get it somehow and not for fighting great evil, she gets it just because.
I think I know what that means. To quote a phrase in impossible creatures, "somebody's cheatin'!"