Badlands Hive, Eighteen Years Ago
The entirety of the Badlands hive was in a state of celebration. Families had gathered in the hallways and plazas of the hive around the palace, eagerly awaiting the birth of the new princess. And only moments ago, it had just been announced over the hivemind; the Princess had arrived.
While the celebrations and street parties got underway, one individual lay quietly, on a bed in the royal infirmary. And in that bed, Queen Chrysalis lovingly stared at the small form in her forelegs, the medical drones’ having silently excused themselves to give the Queen personal time with her new daughter.
A small squeak came from the tiny nymph as she looked upon her mother for the first time, their eyes meeting. Chrysalis saw sparkling lavender meet her green, and a small tear slowly slid down her cheek, as a smile stretched widely across her face.
“Hello little one,” Chrysalis addressed the nymph with a small chuckle. “I have been very much looking forward to meeting you… Twilight… And I’m not the only one.”
As if on cue, the infirmary door opened, and a rather muscular changeling walked in - Virum. Virum’s parents had fled from a dying hive shortly before his birth; its queen had been killed during a skirmish with a rival hive. As such, as adoptive members of the hive, his family was of next to no social standing. He himself was a changeling who used to work in agriculture, growing crops to sate the changelings need for more physical foods. Nowadays, he was more known for being the husband of Queen Chrysalis – Duke Virum - and the father of the hive's newest princess. Chrysalis had always thought she would end up following the cliché of falling for a captain in her personal guard, but in the end it was a simple crop growing drone that had captured her heart.
“Virum, over here,” Chrysalis softly summoned her husband.
Slowly Virum approached his wife, his eyes fixed on the nymph in her hooves. “She’s beautiful honey, just like her mother.”
Chrysalis chuckled. “Well, she’s got your eyes.”
Virum indeed had glowing lavender eyes instead of the standard blue, a trait unusual among changelings.
“The best of both worlds!” Virum laughed. “I just hope we get to see her grow into the wonderful changeling I know she will be.”
Chrysalis’ mood soured slightly. “Virum… I know you’re worried about the love shortage, but it will get better… I promise.”
“And if it doesn’t? Some of the others are already starting to feel its effects, the reservoir is drying up and there are a minority that speak dissent. If we don’t get some more love energy soon… Promise me we aren’t going to lose her!” Virum couldn’t stop a few tears coming to his eyes as he looked pleadingly at his wife. “Promise me that no matter what happens she will grow up safe.”
Smiling Chrysalis used a free hoof to wipe a tear from Virums face. “I promise I will never let anything happen to Twilight.”
Virum nodded. “Okay, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have…”
He didn’t get to finish as Chrysalis pulled him into a loving kiss. Twilight watched the display in curiosity, before drifting to sleep in the comfort of her parent’s presence.
Present Day
Chrysalis awoke from her slumber with a start, looking from side to side frantically trying to find out where she was. She had been dreaming. Dreaming of better times, before the love shortage… before his death.
Looking to her side, Chrysalis saw the piece of Twilight's cocoon still sat on the bed. Sighing, she grabbed it with her green aura and gently placed it back into a small chest before she slid it under the bed. Sooner or later Chrysalis would have to tell Twilight about her father, about Virum.
Her body tensed with overwhelming emotion as her thoughts drifted to her deceased husband, yet she found comfort in the fact her daughter was back with her, and while she had yet to come to think of her as a mother, the fact she was giving her a chance… Now was not the time to dwell in the past.
Not when the future began to look so bright, and she still had a promise to keep.
Glad to see another update! Onwards!
dude this story is AWERSOME!!! CONTINUE THE GOOD WORK!!!
I read this when my Night of the Werewolf story was being featured, and i forgot to favorite it XD
This story is really good! Can't wait for updates.
6614788 You're wasting criticism here.
Anyone who doesn't pander to the 'misunderstood villain' trope is ostracized.
Join me.. and together we shall cleanse this world of tropes!
(That was a Star Wars trope...)
... shut up other self.
dude(ess)...
write
MOAR
NOW
6639409 Well everyone's allowed their opinion. Even if politeness went out the window.
6639393 If you don't like it you don't have to read, I enjoy writing these and if other people join along the way (or not) then so be it.
It's not enough to sate our hunger...
6639721
i second that motion
bella storia spero ke chrysalis permetta twilight di essera ancora amica delle mane 5 dopotutto lei è l'elemento della magia of harmony
Three dimensional villains, villains just trying to help their people. I like these villains. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
6639835 I like your story. It is awesome.
I will be waiting... Watching... Reading...
hive's
6639721 Isn't the female version of dude dudet?
6642269
idk
How long is it before these chapters are posted?
6642429 Every weekend
I admit I´m not a fan of Flashback chapters, mostly because I´m never sure if I like the new characters and such things, but I think I like everything you have written so far, even the flashback.
Not bad. Could do with a bit more fleshing out, but it seems you are heading in that direction. Do try to make your characters a little more distinct. Chrysalis is pretty well done, but Twilight isn't Twilighty enough.
still gonna read. I haven't come across any where Chrysalis was actually Twilight's mother. Also, the glimpses of how your changeling's live and think is interesting. More of that please.
A bit short, but sweet all the same and better quality than normal too. Well done.
6614439
I must agree with you, things are happening too fast and too conveniently.
The choices the characters make, the dialogues, etc... we clearly see what the author want them to do and it's not natural enough, especially chrysalis.
I'm not saying the characters are OOC, but it's like they are puppets following a script, they lack their own life.
Chrysalis is a loving mother, I get it. But she's also a queen, a queen that decided to discard her daughter in order to not let her, or the hive die from starvation. But in this chapter she's like : My daughter who never knew I was her mother and whom I ruined her brother's wedding somehow don't like me. I may be a strong queen, but now I'll just run away and cry.
She's hurt, it's normal, but she just takes the easy way, not even trying to justify herself or make Twilight understand her point of view.
With the character you gave her, I was more excpecting her to be pleading Twilight to try and understand why she did what she did and how she did it.
In a sense, that was done but like I said, it's just too easy, too quick, it really lacks a natural feeling.
I expect more a natural development than a convenient one.
As for this chapter, here is another problem : coherence and exposition.
You previously stated that Twilight spend some weeks in a cocoon as the nymph, and when she hatched, she was then abandoned in Canterlot. That's a serious plot hole here, now, she was directly born and in the hooves of her loving mother and father, even if they are discussing the fact they'll have to abandon her.
The father now, that's exposition. You introduce him and it's followed by a wall of narrative to tell his life.
It would have been better to have chrysalis speak about him while telling Twilight more about the circumstance of her abandonment. (that's my point of view though).
(did't see the deleted comment was still here, just in case, it was me who deleted it to avoid a double post)
First off i am loving how you are portraying changelings. Second I need more of this story!!!!! It is amazing and i love it to pieces!!!!
En taro Adun, tom117z. As always this is a good chapter with only a few minor mistakes but nothing I wouldn't do. Keep up the good work.
6655108 The what?
6655444 The... ellipsis... is... real...
Have a moustache.
6655228 Thank you for adressing the issue of Twilight's father.
I was honestly thinking the Chrysalis revealing to Twilight she's her mother scene would go like:
Chrysalis: No, Twilight..I..am your mother.
Twilight: No...no...it's not true....THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
Chrysalis: Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be true!
Twilight: NOOOO!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!
6712794 Brilliant spin on the 'I am your father' speech!
1111 Thumbs up!
6712794 You forgot the part where Twilight is flailing the nub of a hoof around....
6712794 BRILLIANT!! Awesome star wars reference there!!
6954675 Yeah, ok..................................................................................................
Also, UNNESCESARRY COMMAS!! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,, ,, ,,,, ,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,, ,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,, ,,,,, ,,, ,, , ,,,,, ,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,, ,,,,,, ,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,, , ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Just cauze
I love this story keep up
And that last bit tugged at my heat strings
Years.
I almost cried here .
6712794
6954675
XD these are awesome
6712794
Radar has picked up a helicopter going soi soi soi.
9283910
Oohhh for the love of....PINKIE we're outta soy ill get some tomorrow
Pinkie: okie dokie lokie
Lol srry couldn't resist
9748890
It's fine.
6712794
But... Chryssie would sound really weird if she was voiced by James Earl Jones.
...aaand now I have a mental image of Chrysalis’ face appearing in the clouds and ordering Twilight to “remember... who you... are!”
Thanks for that. It’s hilarious!
Edit: Ide-aa~! We should ask Mr. Jones to sing a cover of the This Day Aria!!! It would be amazing!!!
Ya I'm gonna be honest, this is really weird, I'm used to Chrysalis acting like a jerk to everyone but this? This is weird. Chrysalis crying? I could never picture that in my head, or even feel any emotions at all for that matter.