• Member Since 20th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Oct 23rd, 2022

Nazoult98


T
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Trixie has become a social pariah in the land of Equestria following the two times she visited Ponyville. All she wants now is a shot at redemption, a chance to make up for her mistakes. But, when the darker corners of her past come seeping forth, will she be able to change anyone's mind?
*Modernized version of Equestria*

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 11 )

This is very interesting. I can't say I've ever thought about Trixie having a tragic backstory. Keep up the good work!

6346162 Thanks, I just thought there might be a reason for the way she is.

It's feeling pretty rushed at this point. Just saying.

This chapter....was....not good.

The flashback came in so suddenly that it jarred me out of the scene and then you suddenly introduce them having an SUV despite not mentioning any other technology.

Overall this chapter just had a lot of jarring moments that pulled me out of the story

This really needs more spacing. It feels like a wall of text.

The scene where Sunset and Trix become friends felt horribly rushed.

First line of this and I've already found an issue.

Trixie upon coming to ponyville had already developed a reputation as a famous magician/showpony. According to your story it was her first stop

Aaaaand I'm just- I'm almost done with this story. I doubt I'll keep up with it.

So sunset left at her first oppertunity from the human world and stole Twilight's crown out of petty jealousy?
That seems incredibly unlikely. Due to the fact that how woulld she even know that the crown would work that way? Why would she steal the crown? Why would she even go back?

The pacing, the character's and the spacing just killed this story for me. I groaned so many times while reading it.

6346968 It's alright, I know I can't please everyone nor am I trying to. Yes, I may have rushed things, but throwing them into the human world you'd expect them to have cars. If this story isn't your cup of tea, I'm okay with that. If you don't want to follow the story anymore, I'm okay with that too. That in mind I appreciate you reading the story up to this point and thank you for the time you put into it.

I would like to take a moment from writing Chapter 7 to say thanks to everyone who's read my story so far, and also to those who will in the future. I'm planning on having Chapter 7 done tomorrow at the earliest, but I had something I want to say. I wrote this fanfiction because I wanted to do something creative. I wanted to let my opinion known, let my vision be known. And, whether you love it, hate it, or are somewhere in between; I wanted to thank you for at least hearing me out. I also want to thank a friend of mine, he knows who he is, for his help and support. Thanks to him, I hope to make this a series. I even have the next two stories planned out. Thank you all, I hope I've been able to bring you some entertainment with my story.

Will there be a Checker Monarch Expy?

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