Talentless writer beating his head against a wall until he gets something right. Expect random, half baked stories on occasion.
Crash Dive is an oddity among the pegasi. More at home in the water than in the clouds, she's had trouble finding her place in life, so when an opportunity to explore Lake Saddle presents itself she took it in both hooves. No one can fault her bravery. Only her results.
Warning - Contains scenes of inflation intended for humour.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, overall it wasn't bad. The idea of deep sea/lake exploration is an interesting one. The characters are reasonably likable and your initial description of the lake life did paint a nice little picture. So, kudos on that!
This story does have a slice of life feeling to it but not so much random or comedic. That doesn't mean it can't have funny parts but, if I were to add another tag to it other than slice of life I might add adventure if you decided to take it in that direction. I mean she has a seapony acquaintance now and with his help she could become a pretty successful treasure hunter which, might lead to competition. She might also enrage some of the other sea life at some point. There are a lot of possibilities here.
I'd also say give the story another read through. It's not a bad story but, it could be really good with some cleaning up. Keep on writing!
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Well, thanks for the vote of confidence at least, will definitely look to switching over the tags as you suggest though, mostly just went with what seemed to work with the story at first but if they don't fit then best to switch them over. Though, in all honesty, this was mostly supposed to be a one-shot story. Certainly wanted to come back to writing about these characters or working with them, but most tales just tend to turn into a series of shorts like this rather than some spanning epic. The few times such a thing was attempted, it just became a loosely linked series of episodic events thanks to poor cohesion, focus and writing.
Still, thank you for finding something of worth in it and taking the time to read this stuff. It actually means a great deal, especially taking the time to make suggestions as you did.
>This suit of yours is supposed to be water right?
-waterproof, right? ...was what you wanted to say there, yes ?