Chapter 10
William, Ulrich and Fluttershy were standing outside the old castle inside the Everfree forest, the place where Twilight learned about the 6th element, Magic, and discovered the true power of friendship, the maroon pony had walked in there no less than 15 minutes ago, and he was still in there, William and Ulrich were about to try and find out why.
"Watch out for the rickety bridge, it'll only hold one of you at a time" Fluttershy warned the 2 humans as they were about to cross.
"Got it!" Ulrich said back
Ulrich and William crossed and were about to go into the castle when Fluttershy shouted for them. She was back at the bridge
"I.. i think i'll wait here, just in case anypony comes looking.. if that's okay?"
"You scared Fluttershy?" William said with a small smile
"A little..."
"Okay then, you stay out here and warn us if anyone comes!"
Ulrich and William walked into the castle, not knowing where to start they just started to wander in a different direction.
"Hey... Ulrich can I tell you something?"
"Maybe, What is it..."
"Well I think that Twilight pony has a crush on me..." William started to blush slightly.
Ulrich stopped dead in his tracks and began to slowly giggle... which then turned into a full blown laugh
"oh.. oh my sides... you... and twilight sparkle... OH PLEASE STOP. HAHA YOU WANT TO DATE A HORSE!"
William frowned and punched Ulrich's arm
"I never said I liked her back you cunt!"
"Do you like her back?" Ulrich asked
William quickly tried to change the subject "Lets move on, we need to find this pony"
"Wait, you're changing the subject... THAT MEANS YOU DO, OH GOD WAIT TILL I TELL ODD"
William turned around and glared at Ulrich
"You so much as utter a word of this conversation to anyone this sword will be going through your mouth, you got that?"
Stifling a laugh, Ulrich managed to nod
"Okay, now lets go find this stranger... And no questions!"
They decided to walk up a spiral staircase they found which seemed to lead to the highest point of the castle, the spire, Half way up they heard hoof steps and knew they were going in the right direction. At the top of the spiral staircase they stopped and looked into the room it lead to. Sure enough, there was the maroon pony, He seemed to be channeling some sort of magic through his hooves to some instruments set up around the room.
"Wait, that's not magic... its electricity... that means this is either Vinyl's new DJ setup or that's XANA in pony form" William whispered to Ulrich
"Hmm, you sure you dont have a crush on that pony too"
William then punched Ulrich in the face, alerting the Maroon pony, who now had a cutie mark on his rear. the XANA eye
"ohh, that's definitely XANA"
William and Ulrich pulled out their weapons, Ulrich's face still hurting, and readied themselves for a battle.
William was the first to strike, he swung forward with his sword but XANA jumped back, dodging the attack, Ulrich was next, he jumped over William and began to attack with his twin swords, XANA blocked every move with his hooves.
"William, this thing is strong, we need to work together to take it out!"
"Got it"
Ulrich kept attacking with his twin swords until XANA hit him in the gut, sending him backwards. XANA spun around to face the sword flying at his face, he quickly turned around and kicked the blade out of william's hands, leaving him weaponless. William reacted pretty swiftly as he realised what was happening and he landed on XANA himself, taking him down, ready for Ulrich to strike
"Ulrich, NOW"
Ulrich quickly ran towards the 2, as he got close, William let go of XANA and Ulrich brought one of the blades down into its head, and one into its cutie mark, causing it to explode and a purple wisp to come out of it, which quickly retreated out of the window and into the Everfree forest somewhere
"I think XANA has found a way to make a body for its self, we have to be careful now, he could come back even stronger" William said, while grabbing his blade off the floor
"Yeah, lets go tell your girlfriend and the others what's happened"
William simply sighed, Ulrich wasnt going to let this down
Twilight's Home
"So" Twilight said "XANA has her own form now, and its a maroon coloured pony with a yellow many, I'll alert Canterlot of this new threat right away"
"Wait twilight, we don't know if he'll look the same every time" William said, before she sent the princess the wrong information
"I guess, I shall still send a report to the princess though"
"Can I come with?"
"Sure!"
Ulrich smirked
"Ha, just wait till that XANA creep comes back. I'll kick her flank!" Rainbow Dash blurted out obnoxiously
"Calm down Rainbow dear, it's probably stronger than you anyway" Rarity added
"Well" Aelita butted in before Dash and Rarity started an arguement "I think we should always be alert, we never know what could come next"
"I agree" Applejack added "Always sleep with one eye open, as they say"
"So why did you want to come with me William? Spike usually writes my letters for me, but he's out at the moment"
"Well, erm. its about earlier"
"Oh.. hehe, sorry about that"
"No that's fine, just let me talk now. Just listen. I know you have a crush on me and is cant say I don't feel the same way towards you but, I think we need to get to know each other more before we yaknow, start dating. I also dont know how long I'm going to be here for, I don't want to start a relationship if I'm going to be gone tomorrow. Just give me a week or so to think about it okay?"
Twilight didnt talk
"You can talk now"
"Oh sorry, I was just taking that in..."
"Its okay, you dont have to say anything..."
William couldnt believe he was about to do this but, he kissed twilight and walked away... at the door he stopped
"I'll talk to you more about this tomorrow"
he then left and walked back downstairs
Twilight walked downstairs. she looked a little flushed
"You okay, Twi?" Applejack asked "You look bothered"
"oh.. oh its nothing I was just thinking about something"
"Did you send that report to the princess?"
"Sure did!, im a little tired guys. I'm going to turn in early"
"Okay sugarcube, we'll see y'all tomorrow then?"
"Yep, see you tomorrow"
Everyone filed out of the treehouse, Only Ulrich had any idea what had just happened between William and Twilight, and he found it hilarious.
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"XANA blocked every move with his hooves." "he could come back even stronger" "we don't know if he'll look the same every time" XANA is always referred to a a 'she' in the show. Just pointing that out.
Great story, bro. Keep it up.
732985
really? Im pretty sure its a he... Oh well, im keeping it as a he
and thanks!
733002 If you keep it 'he' then you will still need to change a few things. "XANA has her own form now" and "I'll kick her flank!" Consistansy. Sorry, I'm just nitpicking right now.
733040
God fucking damn it, I need to get on my a-game. I''m getting too lazy with checking
would you like to be my proof reader? I could do with one
733180 Why not. Now that I know that you see XANA as a guy, I can overlook those. Just let me know when you are ready for me to look it over. Is it on G-Docs? If so you can send me a link and allow me to make the edits directly.
733230
I'll put it on G-Docs tomorrow, fire me a PM and we'll sort it out
734565
yeah I know thats why I got maself a proof reader
768811
anything i could do to make it better?
God dammit! And the worst part is I can't hate cause you're THE navy shadow.(Congrats you're famous from LTD) Still, nice cover art. I'm kinda pissed that I have you for competition, and somehow I chose your name(not my fault) But I am happy knowing our fics are completely different in ever way shape and form.
Now to go work on MY Code Lyoko crossover. Damn. Today ain't me day.
859381 haha no hard feelings man
THE navy shadow? is that a thing now?
and i shall read your fic when i get the chance!
1147073
How the hell did you find this xD
Yeah I'm pretty sure EVERYTHING is on netflix
1476007
Cupcakes Reference... i kinda had to
1713182
the story was last updated 2 months ago. I gave up on it really :(
i really lost the motivation to work on it and college work was bogging me down preventing me from thinking about anything else
Hey, you should watch me. if i ever write another lyoko fic you can be the first to know :)
I'm pretty sure it is supposed to be mane, and I know it is supposed to be colored.
And now for my full review. It is a good work in progress, however I have a number of gripes. No one from the Lyokoverse seems to be all that in character, and the dialogue falls flat 70% of the time. A few chapters back, you fell into the listing trap, listing the items the mane six got from Jeremy. I would suggest rewatching a few episodes of Code Lyoko to get into their mindset. Also, to be technical, XANA is supposed to be X.A.N.A.
I really want to see this story to succeed, but it still needs a fair amount of work. It has the feel of a rough draft.
1719918
I get what you mean, the listing, yeah i have no idea what i was doing then
i say XANA because it's quicker than X.A.N.A. although that can be changed, it's just me being lazy
To be fair i haven't watched an episode of lyoko in months because there's no good place to watch them
1720617
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdazAM1yHmY is a place to start.
If there is anything specific you would like help with, I would be happy to assist you.
(sundly the great shit storm just vanish)hm i wonder were the great shit storm went?
are you kidding me all the code lyoko crossovers have them turn into ponies or stay in human form but all practically differnet, but this this just takes the cake good job and keep at it
also the other lyoko mlp cross overs never had the towers in it nice add on
also did you add shadow breeze from the 7th element series?
because it looks like that to me
2965271 uhh what?
Can't wait to start reading this
Cancelled... just like the TV show...