The Banished Prince

by Fanged Doom

Chapter 2

"PREPARE TO DIE, CELESTIA!" Fanged Doom roared as he crashed through the doors of the throne room. Shadow cackled gleefully and flew circles around the room. The guards standing inside peed themselves and fainted on the spot.

"Shut the fuck up," Celestia complained. "I'm eating dinner."

Luna, on the other hoof, immediately rose to action. "Halt!" she commanded. Fanged Doom did not halt. Instead, he leaped forwards and planted a kiss on Luna's lips.

"U-umph!" she protested. Her knees grew weak and she fell to the floor, shocked. A trickle of blood ran down her chin from one of Fanged Doom's fangs.

"You're hot when you're unable to prevent me from taking over," Fanged Doom told her with a smile.

"No, you can't microwave toast, uncle Scootaloo," Luna muttered, delirious.

Suddenly, a loud noise sounded from behind Fanged Doom. He whirled around to see Celestia standing behind him in a battle stance, a tiny dot of ketchup on her nose. "I'm finished eating," she growled menacingly.

Celetia kicked Fanged Doom in the face! "You little mother pheasent plucker consuming mother fucker!" Fanged Doom yelled. Obviously, he did not enjoy a hoof to his face.

"Watch your mouth," Celestia snapped. She did not tolerate nonsense in matters as grave as this one.

"Watch your mom! Oh wait, YOU'RE A PRINCESS!" Fang doom quietly whispered in her ear as he used his magic to throw her into the ceiling.

Celestia screamed as her body hit the high ceiling, partially from the pain and partially from the horror as she heard her bones snap. She slammed back onto the cold tile floor and lay there, whimpering like a kicked puppy.

"lel get rekt" Fanged Doom said, looming over his fallen opponent.

---

"Master, snap out of it!" Shadow yelled, snapping a claw in front of his face. Fanged Doom blinked and realized that he was still standing outside of the throne room and had, in fact, imagined the whole scene.

"Every damn time!" he yelled in frustration. Shadow was very confused.

"But this didn't happen last time," he told the alicorn.

"Whatever." Fanged Doom walked in the room for real this time, only to be immediately shot down by snipers positioned in every window of the large room. Which was a total of 2 windows. Sunlight is for the weak. (aka Celestia)

Of course, being the powerful being that he was, Fanged Doom did not fall. No - he exploded, and his soul went straight to Tartarus. "DAMN IT!" he screamed in rage.

"I SWEAR EVERY FUCKING TIME I DIE I'M GONNA GO TO TARTURUS AREN'T I?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Last time you went to Granny Smith's toilet," Shadow grumpily reminded him.

"It's basically the same thing." Fanged Doom replied.

"Yeah, I guess so. Time to escape?" Shadow asked, preparing his muscles.

Fanged Doom nodded.

Author's Note:

666 cannot take things seriously, apparently. And he wouldn't let me edit!

~Shadow

---

LELELEL get rekt MLG gamer 360 no-scope #$weg #yolo #Shadow-just-can't-handle-meh

-666

Comments

[Star Brush]

6253320

[Fanged Doom]

6253590 Hey, don't insult our OC. :applecry:

~Shadow

[Star Brush]

6253720 No offense, but whenever I try to give out constructive critiscim, the person who needs to become more creative and make a more beliveable character, they don't take any of my advice.

[Fanged Doom]

6253816 It's not like we can change his name or pony tribe now. It's too late for that.

[Exiled from Light]

Time to dive further into the shithole. This is chapter two I'm reviewing.

Unlike my previous review, I'm not going to quote a specific part and comment on it. The author's notes is an exception. This is my general outlook on the chapter.

This chapter is a fucking joke. I don't even know what to think of this story anymore. The first chapter was already shitty enough but this? How in the holy mother of fuck did this story suddenly go from a dark edgy adventure to this random mess? This chapter is not only horrific, but it makes people want to gouge their eyes out and get a brain transplant because over half of their original brain died from reading the first few paragraphs from this thing.

If there are still any, I'm going to review the next chapters.

Author's Note:
666 cannot take things seriously, apparently. And he wouldn't let me edit!
~Shadow

Then why let him write this story? This story is meant to be taken seriously, remember? Aren't you trying to prove to us that red-and-black alicorn OCs aren't that bad? Aren't you aware that this kid is being a gargantuan detriment to that goal?

LELELEL get rekt MLG gamer 360 no-scope #$weg #yolo #Shadow-just-can't-handle-meh
-666

This sort of shit doesn't belong to the author's notes.

[Fanged Doom]

6254849 you just cant handle meh sweg

-666

[Fanged Doom]

6254367 I'm tempted to say that "your face is the reason alicorns are hated", but I won't. Wait, I just did. Oops.

~Shadow

[Julia]

6244528 6250368 6252796 6253179 6254367
You know what's more cliche than red and black alicorn OCs? The typical reactions to red and black alicorn OCs.

We're too far into this fandom to still be complaining and writing a shitload of paragraphs over why stories like this are usually a bad idea.

We're too old to be STILL be shitting on red and black alicorn OCs.

We're too old to STILL be giving what you call criticism like this to young and inexperienced writers. It's like you're doing this for some sort of audience when your audience is simply to old to care and is probably laughing at the both of you.

[Manual Control]

6256006
Well I wasn't in the greatest of moods when I typed all of that. But my main concern is that people still think they can redeem Red and Black Alicorns.

Plus I told them to give up on this story, but to keep writing. That should count for something...

[Julia]

6256400
Well, I wasn't in the greatest of moods when I typed what I had either.

I suppose we should invest our anger in other things like shooting legions of cops in GTA.

[Manual Control]

6256427
Exactly.

[Julia]

6256511
Or I could write an edgy fic of my own, that'd always be nice.

[Exiled from Light]

6256006
What do you suggest we do? Ignore these kinds of stories altogether?

[Julia]

6256553
That's what I'd do, but then I'd be a hypocrite for responding to the criticism in the first place, y'know?

This isn't even my story (and on top of it being the type of story it is anyway), so why I'm defending it is a mystery. Maybe I just needed to vent my anger with how people react to these things.

Y'see, I'm that guy that hates re-runs...

[Star Brush]

6253943 .... Not really.

[Pirate Jesus]

Obvious troll is obvious.

[Fanged Doom]

6264528 Rude.

~S

[SuperKamek]

To save himself from solitude, Fanged Doom befriended a dragon that he came across one day. It tried to kill him at first, but then he overpowered the dragon and used his powers to enslave it.

[_____________]

i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/685/581/133.jpg

I have no actual opinion.

[Fanged Doom]

6340040

I blame my brother... he wrote half of chapter two.

~Shadow

[Chicago Ted]

Wow, this SOB got banned? 'Bout time.

[Junkoposter]

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS, HIT IT MUSIC MAN!

[Junkoposter]

6255084
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