Many years have passed since the Mane 6 latest adventure, and life cannot be more peaceful. Unless your name is Starburst Sparkle, and your mother is Twilight Sparkle.
For her, being the daughter of the principal of the prestigious Harmony University is the least of her problems. And studying at the same school her mother did doesn't help in the slightest.
But Starburst isn't the kind of girl to feel small at any situation (that's it, smaller than what she is), and she will face any obstacle in her way, whenever is trying to approach a boy, trying to live up to her mother's fame or the duty that is being the heir of harmony.
(Based upon the works and characters by kilala97)
Chapters (3)
Starburst is the girl on the right, right? Why does she look older than her mother? ...The girl on the left is Twilight, right?
7301847 Nope. The girl to her left is Sunray, her best friend.
I am waiting for puppy crystal clarity.
Please continue
Okay, so there's some interesting stuff here. The idea of having EQ versions of the kilala97 characters is interesting and one I'm not sure I've seen before. That said, a few of the attempts to transpose things here seem weird; having Celestia actually become an actual princess seems off in this world, as does the idea of a Royal Guard (but maybe it's just a military/police force).
Another suggestion is to look up rules for writing dialogue, as the fic has a number of errors in that department. This link provides invaluable information and honestly just reading that section should cure almost all dialogue punctuation errors.
One other note:
This should be "his." I actually when seeing that was going to comment that Illusion was a male character, but it looks like that was just a one-off error as he's referred to as male in the rest.
7320246 Thanks for your feedback! These are the things that help one improve, and I appreciate them a lot.
You actually nailed it in how the Royal Guard works in this universe: They're more of a military/High Rank police force rather than traditional guards with spears and armor. As for the princesses as principals, it's a similar case to how Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns works, except not exclusive for Unicorns... and without any kind of magic. Or is it?
And thanks for the heads-up. That typo should be already fixed. I'll take that guide in account for a further revisit to the first chapters and the ones to come.
You used the term "her" a couple of times in the narrative when referring to Turner and Del.
7475363 Oh man, thanks for pointing that out. A little keyboard slip in there. But it should be fixed.
7475558 Cool, and this is an interesting story so far keep up the good work.
Omg ik it’s been a while but pls update!
Is Flash dead? And is Night the older brother?