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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Does that mean the next part is more funny or more dark?
Either way, so far I like the new direction of this story. (Just hoping the animal like behaviour isn't permanent)
Dame you Twinkle Star, or should I say... Twilight Sparkle. I know it was you, don't you deny it!
Ah there's that obsessive mare behavior we love you for Zamairiac, can't wait to see what's next!
i.giphy.com/ANbD1CCdA3iI8.gif
A poison that only effects changelings. Makes me wonder what drew their suspicions to use such a thing. Surely it wasn't "Chrissy's"
outright hatredlack of respect for CelestiaTwinkle Star = Twilight Sparkle ...god damn it girl can you not make it more obvious than that? Why not just go as yourself while your at it XD You suck at spying, its like wearing a neon sign that screams "I am spying on you Richard!" and walking through a crowd to follow your target.
7277875 I think that poison was an aphrodisiac and her body couldn't resist it so it is just making her go all natural and feral. That almost blew her cover also which would have ended badly for them both.
7277858 glad to see i'm not the only one who noticed the princess' lapdog
hmm... Twinkle Star = Twilight Sparkle?
Always a blast when you update.
Great chappy!
7277812
Bits of both really, though a bit more dark and depressing. Richard has to try and ignore Chrissy's pleading all night, and I'm going to write every agonizing detail.
Remember, Chrissy just wants to hold her mate and give him a little nibble. To her feral state, there's nothing wrong with this. That Richard is refusing to touch her is causing her a lot of distress, and like I said, I intend to write every agonizing moment.
That ending bit tho.
7277858
Yeah, it was kind of obvious when she was the only pony Chrissy's instincts DIDN'T react to. Probably a spell part of her disguise.
7277875 it could actually affect ponies as well (probably with ACTUAL harming effects), maybe even Richard as well, they just didn't GAVE the poisoned wine to him.
Well Zam, you asked for this so I'm going to oblige: One review (and a probably terrible one at that) for Mated For Life coing right up.
To start off, spelling punctuation and grammar are pretty good, I don't see any glaringly obvious errors or mistakes in this chapter or the others - but I'm not an English student so I couldn't say for certain that there aren't any.
I'd say that the plot is good and fairly consistent, it's not all over the place like some stories I've seen and it builds up excitement for the next chapter but not in a way that leaves you annoyed when waiting for the next chapter as is the issue with many stories.
Writing and characterisation are also at a high quality, scenes don't jump around in tone unless it's in a believable manner like in Feral Part One and the characters fit the mould that you've already set for them by this point in the fic (minus Chrysalis' little episode).
And yeah, that's all I really have to say about your writing, overall the story is high quality and easy to follow the plot while keeping me interested in what's happening so I all I can really say is keep up what you've been doing and the story should turn out fine; I hope this helps you with your fic.
Looking forward to the next chapter
I'll laugh if, after all the speculation, Twinkle Star really was just a random nice unicorn and the wine was poisoned before it ever even got to the restaurant. She *did* mention that it had just come from the palace after all. I suppose it'll all depend on how much author-man wants to mess with us.
7278020 goddamn you this is both fucking amazing and fucking terrible i hate how much pain Chrissy is i
Oh man that's messed up who gave the wine to the restaurant
Moar
7277875
maybe it was that a normal unicorn was able to actually hurt the immortal sun god?
Me thinks some royal grapes have a date with fire, and lots of it.
(I would Laugh if it ends up happening)
Twinkle Star is toooooootally Twilight Sparkle
Ow my this is a very interesting story to read keep up a good work update more soon.
Well... that definitely didn't go as expected.
Now the question is if that wine is really the culprit, or if it was all an unfortunate timing.
Afterall, that primal side of Chrysalis has been going on for a while, so it could have finally broken free. We'll see in the next chapters.
Still, the way you wrote that end... it almost broke my heart from just imagining it. Well done.
Holly hell now I'm stuck checking every hour for the next chapter look what you made me do , hope your happy
7280074
It'll come, I'm writing it now. It won't be done for a bit though, maybe up by tomorrow as I'm off to work in an hour.
7280074
Also, details man, details. What did you like about it, how were the characters, what did you find sad, happy, funny. What did the end of the chapter make you feel.
Details friend, details
I have mixed feelings about the series (and whats removed of it) i realy like this new story but at the same im realy disapointed the removed parts didnt get a follow up......
Well you got my attention for now.
I would love to be watching tis when chrysalis gets her hooves on Celestia for this.
7280561
Zam-air-ri-ac
Damn, with this amount of quality AND speed in the chapters you write, I think it makes you a demi-God when it comes to writing!
7280797
Wooooow
I always said Zam-ah-ee-rahk
Hahaha thats good to know!!
I enjoyed the way your portrayed chrysalis struggling against her self and her instincts for her care towards him
Also the flow of which the inter dialogues of the characters that are placed in the story gives you a true detail explanation of there thought and feeling ... Wether then be crazy obsessive , sadist or just cutely concered
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What, no
(2 minutes in)
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitthiscan'tPOSSIBLYGOWELLFUCKFUCKFUCKSHITSHITSHITFUCKSHIT
So she's gone into the changeling equivalent of heat?
7283436
Ikr all these alternate universes get confusing without a proper flow chart.
Celestia I think has 3 different humans correlated with her one being her "son" but that's a story unrelated to this specific series.
Hell if I remember correctly in the Nightmare Moon series the main human stumbles upon one of the other stories humans and alicorn and it ends on an epic cliffhanger.
Which has me hoping all these stories are building up to the humans meeting one another and having some grand adventure saving the universe from whoever sent them to Equestria.
(Okay that last part is more of a plea to the author, but come on who doesn't want to see all of these guys eventually meet?)
This is why I don't drink, you never know when someone or pony spikes something.
Shit, that's gonna be hard for them.
I once tried doing coke, but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose.
7874833 Freeze a jolly good fellow! XD
Applejack then whispered into my ear, "This is my orchard now."
Cider is love, cider is life.
9564000
Oh Lordy yessss!
Rip and tear... Until it is DONE!
O fuck... Was it a manipulativ substance or a overdose of poisen? Maybe instinct suppressed coming back with a vengance...
9805205
Wile we watch and laugh... This two lovebugs rip Twilight a new one...
10059701
0:27 pure perfection. I despise Summoners. Coward, weak in melee compared to other demons but with their ability to teleport, summon demons and send damaging Argent/Hell waves from afar, they truly represent the indecent, unholy tactics of Hell warfare.
...Rip and tear, until it is done
Celestia, that was really low.