• Published 7th May 2015
  • 25,184 Views, 3,592 Comments

There's Nopony I'd Rather Be Than Me - Tatsurou



Wreck it Ralph raises Nightmare Moon in the arcade.

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That's Wrong

Ralph awoke to a knock on his door. "Ralphy!" Mary called out happily. "I brought you your breakfast!"

Ralph smiled, pushing himself into a sitting position, remembering just in time to hold his hand up to catch Nightmare Moon before she fell from her sleeping position. He gently pushed the door open. "Hey Mary," he greeted her happily. "How long till the arcade opens?"

"About an hour," Mary replied happily, turning to the cart she was pulling behind her. "Have a nice hot pie to start your day!" Taking the pie off the cart, she handed it to him.

Ralph smiled happily. Ever since Ralph had talked Felix and the Nicelanders into providing homes in the background of the game for all the out of work sprites, Mary had decided it was her job to make sure everysprite started their day with a nice hot power up pie to get their program going. "Thanks Mary. Say...could you spare a second? I've got an extra mouth to feed." He gently held Nightmare Moon out on his massive palm.

The tiny black filly blinked her glowing eyes owlishly up at the primly dressed Nicelander. "I thought Eternal Night meant I could sleep late..." she grumbled.

"Oh, what an adorable little sprite!" Mary squealed. "Where did she come from?"

"Dunno," Ralph replied. "She fell out of the sky late last night."

Mary frowned. "She's not...going Turbo, is she?"

"I don't think so," Ralph replied. "At least, she's not from any game I recognize."

"She might have wandered off from that LAN party the arcade hosted last week," Mary suggested. She shook her head. "I keep telling people that second power strip is going to cause all sorts of trouble."

"What are you talking about?" Nightmare Moon asked in confusion. "What's an arcade? Or a power strip? Or...or anything you said?"

"Oh, you poor dear," Mary cooed. "You must be a new sprite if you don't know about all this...new and already lost..." She glanced up at Ralph. "Any chance she's a glitch?"

Ralph shrugged. "Possible. I'm going to try to take her to the BadAnon meeting tonight, to see if any of those guys know anything. Considering she gave a classic villain speech on arrival, if anybody knows something it'll be them."

"Well, for now I've got a spare pie," Mary replied, setting a second pie down in front of Nightmare Moon. "I can always bake more between games."

Nightmare Moon cautiously sniffed at the pie. As the aroma hit her nostrils, her eyes lit up and she dove in face first, devouring the power up eagerly.

Mary chuckled. "What's her name?"

"She introduced herself as Nightmare Moon," Ralph replied.

Mary nodded. "Definitely villain material." Glancing out the game screen, she gasped. "Goodness! I'm behind schedule! I'd best hurry and give everyone their pies!" Taking hold of her cart, she turned to go. "Now you behave, Moony," she chided. "No villainy outside your own game!"

Nightmare Moon shot her a glare. "I am not Moony!" she pouted. "I am Nightmare Moon, Queen of the Night!"

"Definitely villain," Mary agreed before rushing off.

Nightmare Moon looked up at Ralph in confusion. "She doesn't seem scared of me," she pouted.

Ralph chuckled. "Well, like she said, this isn't your game," he explained. "While in your own game, death isn't permanent. You just resprite when the game reloads. Uncomfortable, but little more than a nuisance in the long run."

Nightmare Moon's eyes went wide. "Wow..."

Ralph grinned down at her as he ate his pie in one bite. "Now, I need to go get ready. The game's going to start any time now, and I've got a pretty important role to play." He leaned down over her. "But I need you to stay in the house here, got it?" he pointed out. "It's out of range of what the screen shows, and you can see everything through the window. Can you do that for me?"

Nightmare Moon pouted. "Why should I?"

"Three reasons," Ralph replied. "One, if you go out there without a game script prepared, the players will think the game is glitching, and our plug might get pulled. That means the entire world goes bye-bye, along with anyone still in it." Seeing Nightmare Moon's eyes widen, he continued. "Two, I don't know yet if you're a stray sprite, a new program, or a glitch...but if you're the last, you won't be able to escape. Glitches can't leave their games." Nightmare Moon shrunk in on herself. "And third, if you aren't a new part of this game, you could get permanently de-rezzed from a single falling brick. I don't want to risk that."

"...okay..." Nightmare Moon said quietly, hunched in on herself with her tiny wings shielding her face in fear.

Ralph winced, feeling horrible for terrifying the little sprite. "I didn't mean to scare you," he whispered, pulling her into a gentle hug and stroking her mane with one finger. "I'm just trying to keep you safe, okay?"

She nodded gently. "...okay..." she replied quietly.

Sighing, he gently set her back down in the house. "Don't go away now!" he said playfully as he rushed out to begin the day.


Nightmare Moon watched as the game day began. It started out with Ralph dancing around on the primary building, smashing bricks and windows. She had to admit it looked like fun. She wondered if it would be fun for her.

Glancing to one side, she focused. She knew what powers she had, though much of what she could do with them was somewhat hazy. Still, lasers were easy. A blast of energy zapped from her horn to a nearby brick, making it explode into powder. She grinned. It was fun!

Hearing a change in noise, she glanced up quickly, worried she'd gotten in trouble or drawn attention. The primary building was gone. In it's place was the stump that was supposed to be in the house. A bulldozer pushed it over to the dump, just out of screen range from the house. The building was erected where the stump had been.

Ralph popped out of the stump. "Hey! You moved my stump!" he proclaimed angrily. A bubble appeared over his head proclaiming the same thing.

Walking up to the building, he proclaimed, "I'm gonna wreck it!" again with bubble accompaniment. Leaping onto the building, he began to tear it apart.

The Nicelanders in the building called out, "Fix it Felix!"

Someone she didn't recognize in blue overalls and blue hat showed up, wielding a golden hammer. Presumably, this was Felix. The fact that he proclaimed, "I can fix it!" - again with bubble accompaniment - indicated the accuracy of her deduction.

She then watched as Ralph and Felix struggled to see whether the building would be destroyed or repaired, eventually ending with Felix getting a medal for fixing the building, and the Nicelanders throwing Ralph off the roof to land in the mud. She frowned at the sight of that. They suddenly didn't seem so nice to her.

As she watched through the 'day', the pattern repeated itself. Ralph would get pushed aside and express his objections. The humans she could see through the screen if she squinted controlled Felix, trying to repair the building. If the human was unskilled, Felix would take enough hits to fall flat on his back several times, and a "Game Over" text would cover the sky. More often than not, however, the little play ended with Ralph eating mud.

Over and over again it happened. Over and over again, a man trying to reclaim what was his was cruelly tossed aside, and this was cheered.

"Is this what being the villain means?" she asked herself. "That your story doesn't matter? Just because someone arbitrarily decides you're the bad guy that should fall, and the ones that hurt you should be cheered for?"

She curled up in the house, not wanting to watch anymore. It was wrong...and she hated it.