After I put Emily's dog tag away, I walk after Luna, still carrying my hogs turret.
I can't believe I allow a displaced into my world yet again and find that one was pretty cool, and the other was a dick... Dammit, new shit to add to the ever growing shit list...
Luna makes it to the hog with me not far behind, and I place the turret on the back and the mane six with Vapor look at me.
"Did you... Find him?" With Twilights question, I shake my head.
"We did... But I didn't get to shoot him enough... Kinda sad now..." She frowns at my response
"We heard that small battle from all the way over here." I turn and look at her as she says that, and I grin under my helmet.
"Did you like the gun show?" I ask
She gets a scowl and I laugh, "Look, whatever you all think, I ain't a bad guy, some people can piss me off, but never fully make me kill them... Except that one guy... Poor dude... Broke his nose and a few ribs." I turn and hop into the drivers seat and look at them, "Well, you can hop in, or go back to town, cause I ain't waiting."
Luna hops into the passengers seat, and Vapor hops onto the back and grabs those handles and looks at me, "Can we just get going? I want to see your base!"
"We will we will, calm down." I look at the mane six again, "You gonna hop on?"
"There's not much room for us." Replies the Rainbow skittle and I look over at her.
"Course there is, you can fly, Twilight can fly, and so can Flutters over there, the rest can hop on next to Vapor and such."
"Hardly! And it looks so... Dirty! Do you have anything else you could drive?" The marshmallow asks, and I just turn and look at her, and she shrinks away a bit.
"No, this is my hog... My only drivable vehicle right now, it's Hop in, or be left behind... Pick your poison." I reply, and her mouth hangs open.
I look at Applejack, "You gonna hop in?"
"Course ah am! Why wouldn't ah? Ah ain't afraid of some dirt and grime!" She hops in next to vapor and Now I see Pinke randomly next to her... She teleported I just know it, but then I look at the Marshmallow.
"Well?" She looks at it before climbing onto the back with the rest.
I then nod and look at the others who can fly, "FOLLOW THE HOG IF YOU CAN!!" I yell and punch my foot on the pedal and speed off.
I look at all of the passengers to see them all holding on for dear life, and I laugh like an insane man and continue my driving.
-Thirty minutes later-
After an awesome drive and freaking all of the ponies out, I stop with a skid on the dirt and stop next to my bases hatch, and I see a very irritated looking Eclipse standing a bit away, the foals, yes, foals, she brought them, all of the foals staring at me and everyone else with wide eyes, except Eclipse and that little... Other pony under her forelegs, that looks at me with a smile, and I hop out and walk over.
"Hey Eclipse, what's up?"
She takes in a deep breath and sighs, "You left without saying anything."
"Well I had things that needed to be done and a base to blow up... And I kinda had civilians to save."
She looks over at the hog with the Princess, Vapor, and the Mane six then looks at me, "I don't see any civilians... Only the Princess of Night, that one pony, and the Elements."
I rub the back of my neck, feeling Acid there, slightly bigger now but I brush that thought off, "Well... They were taken out of the facility with another Displaced and... Well... He... He killed them..."
She stares at me before she glares at me, "You let other ponies... DIE!?!"
I back up a step but keep myself straight, "I had thought he would have taken them to my hog and then held that position... I was mistaken." I reply coolly.
She growls, "Do ponies lives mean anything to you?!"
I put a hand to my chin, "Well... Yes... All lives mean something to me and I rather protect them... But it was a mistake I should have thought might have happened."
She sighs, "I just can't believe you let that happen... You of all... Well... Whatever you are."
"If I remember I'm human... I think... Maybe... Fifty fifty."
She looks at me with an unamused expression.
"What? I'm serious... Fifty percent of me is human, Ten percent is a fan of daft punk, another ten percent is a huge fan of Warhammer 40k, twenty percent is spartan and the last ten is a mix of stuff that you wouldn't understand..."
She looks at me before sighing and shakes her head, "Fine... Whatever any of those things are... It's not why I came to talk to you."
"Oh, well, when I get the time, I'll let you see and hear some of the stuff I'm talking about, now, what is it you need to talk about?"
She looks down and scrapes the ground with a hoof and looks up at me with her eyes without moving her head, "Well... I need a bigger place for these foals and... Well... You seem to have a lot of room in your... Base, so I was wondering if we could... Move into it?"
I put my hand to my chin again before shrugging, "Sure, why the hell not... I see no harm to it... Except the place will have to be foal proofed, and that's quite easy."
"I recommend against her living with us."
"Shut the fuck up Serenity."
I get a sigh from the annoying A.I. And I nod before I head to the hatch and as it opens I beckon for everyone to come along.
All of the ponies and the princess hop out of the hog and look down at the hatch with tentative looks and I just roll my eyes and sigh.
"Alright, look, its not a trap, its just a damn hatch that goes into a heavily guarded underground facility." It doesn't seem to help them but Luna looks at me before nodding and walking down into it, and eventually, all of the ponies follow and I head down with them, but I stop and grab out some keys, and press a button and the hog honks and I nod and shut the hatch and head down into the depths.
Glad to see you active again! You missed quite the War between my guys and Ahriman's!
the fish knows all.
6939141 War? What was it about? Religion? Land? Government policies?
6939215 Indeed it does...
6939221 Revenge... After my guys encountered the New Black Legion and ticked off three members, their leader and a few allies launched an attack on my universe's Equestria and managed to somehow win... They left, but my Equestria is now in shambles...
6939294 Hm... Sounds like those guys need an ass whooping by a Spartan who knows how to fight space marines.... I would say I'll help out, but I have many crossovers going on right now. (No I don't, I have two going and they're pending) and I really have no time and I need to move on with the story, but if you PM me, and make a Gdocs file, I'll hop on it and see where we can go with it cause fuck it I'm not doing much but thinking right now... And I bet a Spartan could help out if you wished it.
6939320 The War is already over, so there aren't anymore enemies to fight. The only Crossovers I'm doing now are single ones. The Equestrian Black Crusade was a massive Crossover with other writers. After all that, I'm done with mass Crossovers for now.
6939338 Bah, missed my chance, no matter, there is that one thing I'm doing with Bronyparasite, the Shadow Wars? Or the War of Shadows? I don't remember, but I'm going to have Kent jump in guns blazing... Or quick fun silent kills and putting the enemies corpses in funny positions when they die...
6939353 You'll be seeing me there!
6939359 Hm... Problem... I remember someone saying that the Empire has Space Marines... Or, Warhammer 40k soldiers... On they're side... You wouldn't happen to know anything about this do you?
6939367 If you're talking about Ahriman and his friends, that's them, I have the one Astartes, and he's on the side of the Alliance, same with my Spartan
6939381 Ah, that motherfucker... Bah, I have a crossover that's about to give me some... Nice loot, in the form of Eleven Barrels of Hell... So, it's all good... Thank the Emperor I haven't gotten any of my own her displaced stories done yet, I got a few and they have guys who are not to fuck with... And I need to tone them down but eh... I got no time.
6939422 Well, during the Black Crusade, he managed to turn into a Void dweller after Sebastian stabbed him through both hearts and finished him off with an execution shot with the built-in storm bolter.
And Sebaste took out Midnight so he's down one Commander
6939446 Ah, alright... My next Displaced is, Cypher the Fallen Angel. read if you wish.
6939474 Hail legionnaire!
Why is he always a dick to his ai?
Locking a warthog... A practice in pointlessness in my opinion.
6939841 She nearly killed him...
6941097 yes... but now no one can turn it on.
6941230 I know, I wish I had an editor , but the one I had just... disapeared.
6942977 It is literally a push button start. Unless he took the time to actually set up a key fob start.
6942973 He was a dick to her before that as well. Pusl he wanted to get stronger and she did so, just not the best well that it could've been done
6943009 Question, would you not want to be a dick to someone or something that caused you to be taken from your world? it might have been your fault, but also the thing that took you from your life?
6953325 But she didn't take him away, he just got her as as apart costume.
6953400 I know, but obviously you must be suspicious of all A.I. I have seen many with good intentions... then they become corrupt.
6966099 Tale that to church.
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTHqZk0crpIKn7JCaeQfUe5t9fNMir03tx_CA3R2q7o4ac0g8Iv8A
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcToLoR66DVsstaEB5T0AgJy3m-n6BEKhRopj6WU_17V6nzULRQkDA
6966152 True... but he does have his moments...
6985965 But Is willing to give his life for his friends
i.ytimg.com/vi/sA4PG3fosGM/maxresdefault.jpg
6986202 True, but again, I would never fully trust an A.I. no matter how good.
7011013 ok quarian
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRihtUNhabRBA_a82uRDlk7ZEFQwfm_xQPmgBvj8-B6seN8dzRK
7012373 You saw what happened to Cortana, and what happened with that one flaming A.I. The Meta had, and I know a number of games with A.I. That tried to KILL the protagonist, and most all never fully succeeded, I'm not saying I dislike A.I. But I still don't trust them...
7023547 Well if you need meI be in backwater canyon with two AI and a bunch of idiots.
7023713 Meh, rather be with them more then the Emperor and a Text to Speech device... It get old real fast...
7024071 I know right. My god give him something better than that. I know you have something better than that on the planet Earth.
7024173 still funny though...
7024179 I watching that right now actually.
This seems like an interesting premise, despite my general dislike of the Displaced stories recently...
The only thing that I'm concerned about before reading is the fact that your protagonist would have give or take zilch training as a Spartan or a soldier, which considering the fact the Spartan training is necessary, along with the enhancements, to be able to use the MJOLNIR armor systems...
The nuerosystems especially, he would need to have extensive training to use those properly or else he would have very... messy mistakes.
7088045 Ah, yes, I know those... Mistakes and such, messy business, but, it's something I have not thought about... Well... Hm...
7091769 To answer a lot of this all... I have no clue why people like this story so much... It's my second story, and my first was... A failure, but for some reason, this one is great... English is my first language, but I love to write, and people say I'm good at it but, I just don't have an editor, also, I read up on a lot about all Spartans, Spartan fours were actually never really put through anything but training at the age of fifteen, and also, you don't need too much training to use the suit, if the newest Halo movie is to go by anything, they just put the suits on and... Boom, even better at fighting, while I say the ponies are... Well, I guess hip height to a human, and the foals... I would say knee high, maybe smaller, and again, my second story, and it's liked a lot... I love to write this story, but things have come up, that's why the chapters are scarce, and it takes time for me to write, I know the stories grammar is terrible, I really need an editor but... Again, I can't find much time now... Sorry.
7099840 just keep making chapters and the peoples will love you for a good story
7186643 I shall try to do that, currently in a bad spot... Can not really work fully yet... But a break is coming in time and I shall seize it and work harder to make many many chapters!
7187056 sweet looking forward to it and make sure to take your time so you dont rush and have many errors for all of us reading can wait for you to feel satisfied with you work for we are patient
So, I like this story, I really do. But there are a few nitpicks I have with it.
He started out as an asshole to Serenity, even though she's been trying to be helpful, and acts as if she's been a bitch the whole time? What? And I get that she fucked up, but he was a dick to her before she improved him, when really had no reason to be.
There many instances of the wrong usage or phrasing of words/sentences. Like using 'their' instead of 'they're' or using 'are' when it should be 'our'. And there's points where 'me and Eclipse' should be 'Eclipse and I'. While these are simple and common mistakes that anyone can make, myself included, I'm still slightly irked by them.
One final thing, sometimes during dialog, it isn't exactly clear who, at certain times, is speaking. While it really isn't too bad, there were a few spots where I lost track of who was speaking and had to re-read to get back into the flow of the story.
If you need any help editing, I'm more than happy to.
Also, when I get the chance, I'll try and create (or pay my artist sister like $15 to make) a proper cover art for this story.
One final, final thing, Serenity was being real Tsundere to Emily's ghost I was half expecting her to yell Baka at him
7280023 Oh feedback... How I've missed you... Well, for him being a dick to Serenity, it's more so he's upset with everything, she's just there... She also gains an attitude with him at some point, for the dialogue and all... It's my second story, and I'm not a very good writer... Some how this is a good story and it confuses me, but I'm happy people enjoy this story... I'm trying to get back to writing so I can get some chapters out, but technical difficulties with what I use to write, and it's a pain to get out of a writers block as well, and if your willing to edit my story, I'd love if you did, I can't write or get phrasing right, I can make the story, but can't write it... Also Cover Art? That would be awesome... I like the current one but just found it a long time ago and not many others with a pathfinder that looks that good...
7280790 Hmm... Alright I could see why he'd just take his anger out on the closest "person", and as for cover art I could do it myself using 3D models and stuff or my sister can draw it in a sort of anime/mlp style. I'll need a list of characters and a detailed description of their appearances for my sister to work with. Unfortunately, I won't be able to edit as I'm going to be busy for the next few days, but on Friday I can spend the whole day editing and even Saturday too. If you need to contact me, I prefer PSN(SolitudeOtMoon), XBL(GohstSpaceKilla) or Steam(SolitudeOtM) Though my gamer tag is going to be changed to match my PSN/Steam.
7282219 I only use Fims PM system.. I don't have much else... And I'm free since things have finally ended on my end and am now free till they start back up... Also, I can get the descriptions for characters easily... I remember them well... Just need time...
I'm loving this. May not be much of a Halo fan, but it's still good
7282640 ETA on next chapter?
7387209 I don't exactly know... Just lost motivation for the story, I'm getting back on track... Maybe a day or two, then a new chapter... Or maybe not, I'm not completely sure... Sorry for such a long delay.