Diamond Tiara's bullying has gone too far. One Saturday at Sugarcube Corner, the CMC decide not to just give up and run away but to proudly stand their ground. But Diamond Tiara won't just leave them be without a fight.
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- Member Since 8th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen Apr 15th, 2016
TheAnonymousT
This is my short biography. It is a biography. And it is short. Maybe you should just read my stories instead...
TheAnonymousT
Joined 8th Jun, 2014 ·
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That was it?
Um... Diamond would never do that.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-GglkA2bxO2o/TxH7sBwl2XI/AAAAAAAAbII/Xzs_ueHXeMg/s1600/111743+-+adults+apple_bloom+artist+musapan+Diamond_Tiara+dinky_hooves+future+Pipsqueak+scootaloo+Sweetie_Belle.png
5877750 Yes, that was it. Not all stories end happily ever after, you know.
*reaches out to open air* The potential...it's just drifting away...
Someone needs to put Diamond Tiara in her place, ASAP...
5877844 Exactly.
Faceplam.
In all seriousness, this is very downright cruel and depressing.
I don't get why this has so many dislikes.
I mean, yeah, it's not especially great, but it's not terribly written and it's got some decent moments.
I guess people are upset because Diamond Tiara won, or whatever.
5877968
It's not really that. It's more of the way the story is. Like, wow, Diamond totally ripped them apart, but afterwards may have felt a smidge of sadness or regret for doing it. But that's it. Nothing's going to improve or continue from the story so we get an actual, content ending. It just leaves us with a wanna-be cliffhanger.
I never was able to analyze stories well but will try to give you an idea of my reasoning for the down votes.
Yes the story is written well, in my one reading of it I did not see typos and it flows well from one scene to another.
On the other hand Diamond Tiara starts out with her normal self indulging persona and gets away with three cases of mind rape right in front of other adults.
Not one pony in the store speaks up to stop it. Yes many of them may be afraid of Filthy Rich’s money and influence but Pinkie has the ear of four alicorns!
At the end of the story, except for the dying gasp from a terminally ill conscience, that little daughter of a diamond dog walks out as if nothing out of the way happened at all.
To be fair I really think there should be a method to differentiate between not liking a story because of errors in spelling, grammar, plot holes and so forth and just not liking the story itself.
And that's where we are now I think that most of your down votes are just for the story not your ability as a writer, you just managed to hit a sore spot for a lot of readers.
Sometimes, folks, the villain comes out on top.
Revenge of the Sith anyone?
5878004
I guess I can see that.
I really liked this story
no idea why it has so many downvotes
5878294
I think it's more to do with the potential it had but didn't reach. This could have shown Diamond Tiara growing as a pony, or showing how the CMC grow as individuals but it's not. It's just Diamond Tiara is a bitch, she makes them cry, the end.
It's not bad. It's just a little disappointing because I was expecting more.
5877806
Well, ain't gonna read it now that your comment told me that.
5878578 Well, your loss. ;) Or maybe not, considering this story does not seem to be to the tastes of FimFiction's body of readers.
...and yes, I am aware that that might have just been the understatement of the century.
5878843
Doesn't matter if it's well-written these days. If the subject doesn't appeal, the story fails. A lot of people don't even take the time to look at it. So for that, you do not have yourself to blame.
Don't worry about me, by the way. I'm on this website to write, not to read. I probably wouldn't have sat down to read this even if it looked like it was written by God himself.
5878057 Yeah, I think your reasoning hits the problem spot on, lol. All the other stories I have posted here are either tagged as comedy or sad but with a heatwarming, kind of cheesy ending, and I basically only read stories like that as well, so I have basically no exposure to the deep, dark waters that are slightly more depressing fanfics. I think this is the most people I've pissed off on the internet over something I said or created, which is amazing, considering that all I did was post a 2500 word short story about pastel colored ponies having a conversation of milkshakes and an iced tea.
5877789
You say Diamond Tiara would never do that? In the show, DT is a bully with a love for gossip, despite it being potentially hurtful to others. In this story, DT bullies the CMC a bit more intensely than usual because she feels personally attacked, and uses gossip as her main weapon to hurt others. Gee, I don't know. Between that and your attached picture of the CMC, Dinky, PIpsqueak and Diamond Tiara being best pals, it's hard to know whose idea of how Diamond Tiara would really act is closer to the show.
Also, I just noticed the wonderful groups this story was tagged in, noticed that you are a member of one and just recently joined the other three and came to the conclusion that you were probably the butthurt person who decided to bestow this fanfiction the honor of being allowed to be a member of those groups. It's funny--I originally wrote this fanfiction since it was a neat idea that popped into my head, that I hadn't read anywhere before and that I thought I could decently execute. Although reading the groups this story has been tagged in, I suppose this cannot be the case: after all, this fic is "overly stupid", "absolutely disgusting", "unnecessar[ily] cruel[...]" and last but not least with "no originality". I deeply apologize for this mistake--obviously, all fanfiction that does not comply with your specific tastes is automatically trash and deserves to be classified as such. I shall attempt to see to the task making sure that this will not happen again.
This was marked as incomplete when I got the first view. Maybe it should still be...
Skip to bottom for short version.
Long version:
This was actually kinda sad. She took that whole 'being alone' comment a bit too personally and Scootaloo refusing to give up that seat was not the smartest thing to do. Those three normally prefer to avoid confrontations. I don't feel offended by this though. It exaggerates the CMC as much as DT. But there was supposed to be string of guilt here, for she finally gets to see what her actions of this level can do to a pony. See that the crusaders aren't just always able to bounce back from an insult. To really see the aftermath of it all.
Problem though, I can see that you wanted to make DT question herself, to ask herself if going that far was really worth it, but a bit too much with Scootaloo's orphan-hood, and DT's ability to acquire confidential files, as well as the end bits mixed with what you tried to show us, just ends up being overshadow with what you seem to have been going for. Diamond Tiara didn't seem remorseful, much at all, didn't sound like it, but she was definitely starting to question whether she may have gone too far for a simple defense there.
It's honestly too bad you didn't ease people into that pangs of guilt Diamond was supposedly feeling. Make her feel as each crusader broke down. Going from happy to beat a challenger like Scootaloo, to being a bit unnerved to see Sweetie cave in that way. And to see Apple Bloom use the H word with such vigor that it should have at least made a tingle go up her spine for being so cruel.
Well, at least if you were going to keep it this short. Diamond is having a bad day. Figures the CMC are easy to poke a soft crack or two before enjoying her beverage, but goes full tilt on the offense for being implied to having no friends or that Silver Spoon had not want to hang with her that day.
All that just got seriously blown out of proportions likely beyond what she ever intended. As she doesn't care much for their marks, only that they screw up a lot and are fun to watch make fools of themselves.
While this story does just throw her into a setting to explode on the CMC and break them in an overexaggerated way, it at least tries to go somewhere with it. But like I said earlier, that gets a bit too overshadowed as it just isn't presented or explored enough for many to really give it the chance to really mull things over. Silver Spoon is normally the one who attacks with such a silver tongue to that level of nasty. Diamond likes to keep her image clean, this sort of destroys her image among the other customers there.
To top it all off, they seemed to have been a bit overly loud. Argumentative there. The Cakes must have been absent from the counter for a big chunk of time or fear to make a move against Diamond Tiara to prevent further harm and to stop the other patrons from feeling uncomfortable in such a family friendly place. So you may have dragged a scene or two a bit long. But I'll go with the Cakes being too dumbstruck to what was going on to really do anything by the time Apple Bloom ran off.
If you showed us more than told us, like DT probably getting more upset at all the judgemental eyes on her. Looking at her as if they would be next. Disapproving faces and some even feeling sad to having seen what happened. Like the time the class got on Diamond for calling out Granny for being a kooky old lady (who was licking chalk off the board no less) that horrified Cheerilee and shocked the class. She felt and knew then that what she did was bad, even if to her it made no sense at the time.
Overall, fic could use a sad and or dark tag. This is far too vitriolic for just Slice of Life story and implies this is just normal for the CMC. Which, if that were true, they'd probably have a three way suicide in front of Diamond Tiara or kill her and Silver if they got them on a bad day. Either way, it'd end poorly for everypony. I don't see it as very family friendly, or close to MLP standards one bit. Though I've seen what people have done with an E rated stories on this site and how low the standards are for passing them with such ease. So I'm not surprised.
Still, the amount of hate this fic is getting is a bit overblown as DT's character. But, had you played up and put more focus on DT's anger, and removed the telly parts that tell us how much she "loves to do this because of this to those ponies because reasons" moments, fic likely wouldn't have been as ill received by some.
I rather liked this story. Not the characterizations, as I believe the CMC and DT could have had the same outcome without the orphans fanon and other bits. But on doing something beyond your original intention, and for once, unlike in many CMC episodes, finally see the consequences to her actions on the CMC. So for that you get a like and a feature.
Story needs polish. Doesn't feel deserving of an E rating, but then again I'm old fashion. Good job for the most part. For the record, I don't believe this fic deserves to be in some of those groups.
In short:
While I agree this isn't an original approach, and it was a bit over the top, but it feels really petty to add this story into bash groups like those. Personally, I prefer to ignore bash fics and let them wallow in limbo. It just goes against standards to throw these things into those types of bash groups feels hypocritical and only leads to hurting other peoples feelings.
This story has nothing in it that can't be refined, such as that dark imply that Diamond has access to confidential files on Scootaloo as if this was The Diamond Exchange fic or something. It veers too far from FiM and more into headcanon territory which overshadows the implied hint of DT being regretful after finally bearing witness to the aftermath such words have on others. Something she's never had to own up to or question because it's just words, right?
A bit more character study would be advised. Try to find less extreme shortcuts to try and feed on peoples emotions like what you did with Scootaloo. And it's honestly a shame you didn't continue this a bit further. It really feels like a cliffhanger the way it ends, nothing feels resolved in the least and this is what people seem to be the most disappointed I'd imagine. It just didn't go anywhere, implied guilt just get overshadowed.
5879041 I like your style. while I AM a bit concerned by the acquisition of confidential files, this fic actually says a lot about DT's character. For example, her sister in this headcanon. Diamond is (hopefully) pretending not to care about her sister being gone, which could be a source for her bullying. I can also see DT, being the spoiled brat she is, lashing out over boredom and a table. This story could maybe use a second chapter if you want to make Di doubt herself more. I think it was pretty realistic (for headcanon about a show for little girls featuring magical technicolor ponies) and while I wanted to wring Diamond Tiara's little neck by the end of it, I liked it.
I nearly cried. Oh, wait.
(insert dramatic cry)
And so the removal of meanness begins.