• Published 19th Jan 2015
  • 619 Views, 4 Comments

Luna's diary - arcanelexicon



Luna's Nightmare Moon phase.

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It was my Nightmare

Dear Diary,

If only Tia knew the secrets that I had to hide from her. Nightmare Moon, the Royal We, the Canterlot voice, all of these were but masks that I wore. Now that I am a thousand years wiser, I guess it is time that I let out what I have truly felt after all those years. There will be no use of thine, thou, hath and other archaic lexicon as it is only a facade, one that a Princess must maintain if only to maintain my regal bearing. There will only be me, Luna, and tonight, I will tell you the real reason why Nightmare Moon came to be.

My foray into the my darker self, my Nightmare Moon, started innocently enough. Of course, there was jealousy, the want to be better than my sister. Wanting to be as loved as her. Wanting our ponies to love the night, and to appreciate the hard work that I do when I paint the serene night sky. Wanting my ponies to see the detail that I put upon the moon, and the minute adjustments I had to make just to ensure that ponies would have enough light to be able to see in the dark, and yet have that same light not outshine the glimmer of the stars.

My darker persona started manifesting a few years after we had defeated Discord. You see, unlike my OLDER sister who had defeated her demons, and came out of it graceful, beautiful, and divine, I had yet to defeat a demon which was more vile than the Spirit of Chaos. An inner demon that ponies do battle with every year. This vile, evil, sinister demon had a name, and it's name was PUBERTY!!!

You see diary, as one of Equestria's newest princesses, I had to maintain a regal bearing at all times, but this demon kept toying with me! How could I maintain my bearing when I had zits all over my face?! The lisp that my braces gave me was sure to make me, A PRINCESS!, the laughingstock of any social gathering. Then, there was the growth spurt and all the clumsiness and awkwardness that came with it. But worst of all were the untimely *WINGBONERS* that the demon gave me!!!! You see diary, with all those hormones raging inside of me, any slightest thought of sex, or the slightest of touches, would give me wingboners that lasted for hours. Guards in armor? *POMF!* Tia eating her damned bananas? *POMF!* The way the warm breeze would pass along your nethers and how it slowly, softly and gently caressed it? *POMF!* *POMF!* *POMF!!!!!!!!* Those extra '!' where necessary as that wingboner lasted for a moon.

For Tia, it was cute. It was, as she said, "My adorable little sister is growing up." But for me it was Tartarus. It was a NIGHTMARE! You see, diary, most normal ponies go thru puberty in about three to five years. The elements though, gave me and Tia near immortality, and because of that, me and my trusty abacus estimated that my puberty would last at least five hundred years!!! Five hundred years of puberty is the worst possible thing that Tartarus could throw at me!!! So I threw on a costume, went on a rampage and tried to bring eternal (well, at least seven hundred years) night to the world. After all, in the dark, it is much harder to see the effects that puberty had wrought upon me. But then Tia went full on "control mare", and used the elements on me. Come to think of it, I think the elements banishing me to the moon was the best thing that happened, as I had miscalculated and my puberty phase actually lasted nine hundred ninety nine years and nine tenths of a Bit.

On the thousandth year, I was ready for my return. I had grown out of puberty, and by then I was ready to take my place on Tia's side once again. However, upon touching down on Equestrian Soil, I once again felt the need to go Nightmare Moon for a few reasons that I never foresaw when I returned.

In my millennium in the moon, I was able to learn two things. One, was that the moon had less gravity, and two, was that there is nothing on the moon, but dust and sand. Who would want to see their princess with dry frizzy hair? Who would want to see their princess covered in dust and sand a foot thick? Who would want to see my sandpaper-like dry skin? And worst of all, there was the sand and it went in places that I didn't know I even had!!! My...my....my dainty little self HAD ENOUGH SAND IN IT TO BUILD A CASTLE!!!! THAT'S WHY I WANTED THE NIGHT TO LAST!!! I wanted it to last long enough for me to go to a spa unseen and be pampered so that the people would see the blooming flower that is their Princess Luna.

Puberty might have been an infernal demon, but it left me with fair skin, a beautiful mane, a shapely plot, a face that could launch a thousand ships, and a voice that could sink them all. But, who could see the astounding beauty underneath all the layers of dust and sand? Good thing that when I was once again blasted by the elements, it did me a favor and scrubbed all that sand and dust, shampooed and conditioned my mane, gave me a hooficure, and cured me of my moon halitosis.

I have learned much, and with my new friends, have adjusted well to this golden era. I must be off now, diary, for I must once again guard the dreams of the ponies of whom we serve. It was fun talking to you and I shall leave you under the guard of my trusty abacus. Sleep thee well my child. One day, I hope to tell you the real reason why I wasn't there during the changeling invasion.

May your dreams be fruitful and your nights divine.

Princess Luna

P.S.: Next time, don't say eternity, just say one week. Problem solved. -Celestia

Author's Note:

A small idea that came to me. Pretty sure that it can be expounded or worked upon. This is the best I can come up with though. This is my second fic and still self edited and self proofread. Please leave a comment on why you liked or disliked it to help me improve. Thanks

Comments ( 3 )

hahahahahahahaha

Well that was funny and quite random. It made me go :rainbowderp: and :rainbowlaugh: at the same time. Puberty can be quite a b*yay*. And it lasted 999 years for Luna? Wow, that must've been a hell of an experience for Luna. I would also love to see why Luna was not there during the changeling invasion.

With that said, I loved reading the story. :pinkiehappy:

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