I mattew b murdoc, wind up in equestria from this one fuck of a hell hole on the verge of end you and me know it as earth. And i am so glad it happended...........
Chapters (7)
Jetfire1984
Joined 20th Apr, 2012 ·
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Choo Choo...
Pure troll-fic. Why does this exist?
-Chessie
moderateleft.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/failedtroll.jpg
You could have at least tried. Trolling is one thing, writing an incomprehensible mess is another.
>Apocoliptic warrior
>Totally unrelated image for cover art
>allofmywut.jpg
CHOO CHOO
imageshack.us/a/img90/3222/8lookwhatido.jpg
Epileptic Warrior, no. Apoplectic Warrior. No. Popping-lactose- This isn't worth the effort.
I can't even get past the first sentence.
I can't even.... gah...
images.wikia.com/creepypasta/images/2/27/Unable-to-process-wall-of-text.jpg
Honestly, I'm not even sure if this is a trollfic or not, but I think you should at least tried. Here are my edits for the first paragraph.
OK, there are several key things that make your story damn-near unreadable.
Wall of text: This is basic formatting that makes your story at least somewhat readable. You should put a space and indent each new chapter and start a new paragraph each time a new character speaks.
Another thing, slow down a bit, you go from surviving the apocalypse to killing zombies then teleporting into Equestria. Try give us details about the areas he's in and fully writing your thoughts, this also helps the length of your chapters and make them longer than 500- 800 words.
Grammar: Always capitalize I's, names, and other locations such as Australia and Matt Murdock. You also have quite a few misspellings, such as your title, Apocoliptic warrior, which should be Apocalyptic warrior
Character : Try tell us more about the character, not just "I'm a manly ass manly man prepared for everything." Give some other emotions besides "cool" and "ultra cool". This also makes him more relatable to the reader, which could attract more fans.
One last thing, the type of story you are trying to write is not well liked on this site, to say the least.If you do choose to keep writing this story, I hope you take my advice because people will rip it apart if you leave it the way it is.
-Best of luck, Flight Lt. TAB
So a misspelled title & spelling mistakes in the actual summary.
Yeah, I'm not going to bother to read this or critique it. It would be a complete waste of time.
>Spelling mistakes in title
>Unrelated cover image
>F*ck_This.exe
I am sure of very few things in this world, but I am certain that trying to process whatever debauchery against the English language and this fandom is within that hyperlink would be highly detrimental to my health. So without further adieu,
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfvTQvt1NPYSQVeGPqZYKSfCT8s0tcM50NeEaCPy7xuKtvMNhQpw
-Onyx
Your very proficient in the Swedish language, but I'd like to read the story in English please!
Why the hell did they pass this eyesore?
1377123
Time for the daily taunting session!
... You must be a caveman, right? I swear to god if you aren't..
Whoa! Damn cavemen!
I give up. NO MORE!
1377123
I take offence to that. *Sniff*
1626213
We all know Swedish is just English backwards.
Pm me this and I'll revise it for you. Then maybe you can get more likes.