Lord Stockholm slept in the hold, with cannonballs for pillows and ropes for blankets. Needless to say, when he awoke, he awoke to the most pleasant surprise he’d had in a long while.
“Daddy!”
He sat upright, hitting his head on the ceiling, and felt the golden ball of fur and feathers attached to his neck. “Fluttershy!” He hugged her, a difficult task but he had a lot of practice. “Ferdinand gave you my message!”
“I’m so happy you’re alive! I thought you were dead!” Fluttershy cried with tears of joy.
“So did everydragon else.” Stockholm smiled. “It’ll take more than some brute and a dirty old dragon to conquer Smaug.” He looked around. “And you brought your friends!”
“Ahem.” Twilight Sparkle stepped up. “Hello Mr. Stockholm. I’m Twilight Sparkle. I just want to say, it’s an honor to meet you. You have a wonderful collection of books!”
Stockholm laughed. “A kindred spirit! Fluttershy’s told me all about you Ms. Sparkle. And you must be Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. Where’s your friend Rainbow Dash?”
“She had to get some rest.” Fluttershy sniffed. “She’s so tired from helping me.”
~0o0~
“I’m not tired.” Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof like a child.
Octavia sighed, and blew a strand of hair out of her face. “Yes, you are.”
“I’m not.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “And you can’t make me go to sleep.”
Octavia turned to Spike. “Spike, there’s a special cider inside, it’s called Hazy Draught. Would you fetch a pint?”
“Sure.” Spike jogged towards Pony Joe’s.
Octavia and Rainbow Dash met each other’s eyes. “You realize, if I tried to escape, you couldn’t stop me.” Rainbow Dash said.
“You forget, I am a pirate.” Octavia smiled, demurely.
Neither of them blinked.
“Yeah, you are a pirate. That’s pretty awesome by the way.” Rainbow Dash admitted.
“Thank you.” Octavia bowed like she’d just finished a performance, still not breaking eye contact.
“So… do you have a marefriend?”
Octavia blushed, and raised an eyebrow. “I thought Spike was your son?”
“Yeah, but that was all some sort of magic ‘oops, that shouldn’t have happened but it was pretty cool’ type deals. Literally magic, you know. Spontaneous combustion of life or something. I’m unattached.”
Octavia blushed, and looked away. “Well, I suppose I can schedule in a performance at Ponyville if –” She looked back and Rainbow Dash was gone.
Octavia smiled. “Clever mare.”
~0o0~
“I’m glad you’re all here and safe.” At ‘safe’ Stockholm squeezed Fluttershy tighter. She was still hugging his neck, and sniffing a bit.
“How did you survive?” Twilight asked. “I thought Smaug killed you?”
“Yes, it wasn’t easy.” Stockholm smiled. “When it became apparent my stare wouldn’t work on him, I tried to fight him by hand, but it was soon apparent somedragon was magically boosting him. A clear violation of the rules of engagement. So, I played dead. He struck me with his tail; an almost fatal blow. And I fell backwards in the Great Volcano. I read once, that volcanoes are all interconnected. I hadn’t had a chance to experiment, but I didn’t expect that brick-headed cheater or the Knights to know anything about it. I lucked out; I came up in a volcano some distance away, before the magma fully infected my wounds. I gave Ferdinand a message and then spent a week here, with Captain Scaramouch and Mare Serenatus here as my gracious hosts, recovering and planning my return.”
“As Rainbow would say, that’s awesome.” Applejack grinned.
Stockholm saluted her.
“Mare Serenatus?” Rarity asked Luna. The princess shrugged, sheepishly.
“After a week to ruminate, and upon hearing of your wedding, I realized what Smaug was after, and what the dragon behind him is after.” Stockholm growled. “Lady Babbage.”
Fluttershy looked up. “What does mom have to do with this?” She asked.
Stockholm growled. “Fluttershy, Lord Krastos has been after her hand in marriage for as long as I’ve known the two.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “But… he’s… three times as old as her…”
“Exactly why your mother keeps refusing.” Stockholm nodded. “But think; according to Draconian law, any arranged marriage can be interceded if by a close family member of any one of the parties.”
“What does that mean?” Fluttershy asked.
“It means that if there’s no other option, Lady Babbage can be blackmailed into taking your place in the marriage, and likewise Krastos can take his sons place to marry her.”
Every pony and dragon looked at Pinkie Pie. She seemed to realize her outburst of law knowledge was unexpected, so she simply grinned. “I’m random!” She chirped.
“Yes… that’s exactly what it means.” Stockholm nodded. “With me gone, and you engaged, Krastos will blackmail your mother into marrying him to save you. And Smaug is going along with this for the war. The only other option is, of course, Princess Celestia directly acting against one of dragonkind’s few laws, sparking an all out war. Lord Smooze has been aching for a pony war ever since you stopped his cousin from taking the Long Sleep in Equestria.”
“Those are the only options?” Pinkie Pie drooped. “That doesn’t sound like fun at all.”
Stockholm growled. “I’ve been thinking for the past couple of weeks. Mare Serenatus and I think we might have found a way to limit the war to minimal casualties, perhaps end it on the first day, but… yes, those are the only two options I can see.”
A single tear fell from Luna’s cheek. “It is such a shame. According to my sister Equestria has been peaceful for centuries. I wished to see this peaceful Equestria. But it seems that war rests only as long as I do.”
Twilight shook her head. “So that’s it? We’re just giving up and going to war?” Her frown wavered, as if she were about to cry. “There has to be another way. Surely between you and Princess Luna, you’ll have figure out something! There’s nopony else who can take Fluttershy’s place?”
“No.” Stockholm shook his head. “Vulcas could, of course, but he’d be as happy as Fluttershy or my wife would… be…” He suddenly perked up. “Did you say Princess Luna?”
The princess coughed politely. “I… may have been giving you my alias.” She admitted.
“But that means…” His eyes shone. “That changes things!”
“Somepony just had an ideeeaaaa!” Pinkie Pie sang.
“Yes!” Stockholm grinned. “I know how to beat Krastos! Quickly, before you escaped, what did you decide would be your cover story?”
“That we were kidnapped.” Twilight answered. “That’s what Celestia is going to tell the dragons. But Rarity got seen by the guards, so I don’t know how well that story will stick.”
“I’ve got a plan.” Stockholm grinned. “Quickly, we need to find the right book before –”
And then the alarm bells rang.
~0o0~
Spike strode up to the bar. The Flim Flam brothers were gone, and a one-winged Pegasus was manning the counter. If you could call it ‘manning’ it. He was just sitting back and having a drink of cider. It looked like nopony was ordering anything from him though, so maybe he was just taking a break.
“Excuse me.” Spike said. “I’d like a pint of Hazy Draught?”
The Pegasus raised an eyebrow at him.
“It’s for a friend.” Spike clarified nervously.
The Pegasus slowly nodded, and began to fill up a mug with cider. “You’re the dragon that hangs out with the Elements of Harmony, aren’t you?”
Spike nodded. “Yeah. The name’s Spike.”
The Pegasus smiled. “Nice to meet you Spike. I’m Rainbow Dash’s father.”
Spike blinked. Looking closely, he could see the resemblance. But only looking closely. He frowned. “Hi.”
Thunder seemed to smile even wider at Spike’s frown. “I take it she’s talked about me.”
“No.” Spike said. “But from the way she treats me, it’s clear that she has a whole lot of daddy issues.”
“More then you’d think.” He flexed his mechanical wing in a way that Spike found creepy. “So, what, you mean to say you’re her son?”
Spike flinched. “Uh… sort of.”
Thunder chuckled. “What’d she do, buck a dragon?”
Spike, innocent, innocent Spike, smile. “Yep!” He said. “Right in the face!”
Thunder doubled over in laughter, spilling Rainbow Dash’s drink. A few of the pirates in ear shot stifled giggles and moved to another part of Pony Joes’. Thunder rolled around on the floor, visibly trying to get control of himself.
Spike felt like he was missing something,
Thunder pulled himself back up over the bar. “Sorry about that. Eheh.” He reached for another mug and began to fill that. “So… you don’t look much like her son.”
Spike frowned. “Well, I get that I look like a dragon, but –”
“No no, that’s fine.” Thunder waved it away. “I’m talking about your wings. Or rather, your lack thereof.”
Spike looked behind him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you can’t even walk on clouds.” Thunder scoffed. “Much less be able to imitate my famous ‘Stallion strut’! Ah, but I suppose this was inevitable. Rainbow was always such a failure when it came to flying. It figures she’d lead my grandson in her worthless footsteps.”
He pushed the mug over the counter into Spike’s waiting grip. Spike crushed the mug with one hand.
Thunder raised an eyebrow at the fire in Spike’s eyes. “…What? Wrong brand?” He began to pour another mug.
“No!” Spike all but roared. “How could you say that about Rainbow Dash!?”
“What? That worthless stuff?” He shrugged. “She’s always been that way. Don’t let it get you down though, I’m sure when you have a kid of your own, it’ll have wings to carry on the family legacy.”
Spike slammed his fists against the bar. “She’s not worthless! She’s the best flyer in Equestria!”
“Then why isn’t she in the Wonderbolts yet?” Thunder chuckled.
“They offered her a spot after her second sonic rainboom.” Spike said bitingly. “But she turned them down because she was so much better than them.”
“Is that what she told you?” Thunder laughed again, but this time his laughter was devoid of mirth; more like a bark. “I bet that’s what she told you. Celestia, that girl!”
A cup-holder popped out of his mechanical wing. “I think I’d better hold this. Wouldn’t want it broken again, now would we?” He began to trot outside, but Spike stepped in front of him.
“Rainbow Dash doesn’t care that I can’t fly.” He said. “She says as long as I’m awesome in my own way, I don’t have to live up to her. That’s what happened, wasn’t it? You forced her to live in your shadow?”
Thunder frowned. “Kid, take it from your old man; living in shadows is how you grow. Now come on.” He trotted around the foal. “I believe it’s time I had a chat with my Rainbow.”
A bell began to clang in Pony Joe’s.
“What’s that?” Spike asked.
“That’s the alarm.” Thunder said. “It means dragons are coming. We’ll have to block the cave’s entrance.”
“I have to warn the others!” Spike ran ahead. In part, he wanted to warn the others. But mostly, he couldn't stomach the sight of Thunder any longer.
~0o0~
“They’ll be covering the entrance.” Luna said, listening to the stone moving away.
“I… never knew you were so approving of pirates.” Rarity hesitantly half-asked the princess.
Luna smiled. “A thousand years ago, I knew a brilliant mare who was a pirate. She was my best friend… until… well.” She clapped her hooves. “Don’t worry Rarity, I’m sure you’re one of the good pirates.”
“I’m actually not a pirate.” Rarity corrected her. “I left that life a while ago. Although…” She looked around. “There are times when I travel without paying the proper fees.”
Stockholm and Twilight were busying themselves with the few small books in the corner of the hold. “What about this one?” Twilight asked.
“It only pertains to the laws regarding pirate travel, I read that one already.” Stockholm fumed. Almost literally. “We’re looking for the big book of all Equestrian laws. I know it’s there somewhere.”
Twilight searched through the books. Due to Stockholm’s size, he couldn’t search through them himself. “I wish Spike were here. This would be so much easier if he was here.”
The doors to the hold opened, and Spike and Octavia rushed in. “Dragons are coming!” Octavia called.
“Yes, yes, we heard the bell.” Stockholm muttered distractedly.
“Rainbow Dash is gone!” Spike said.
“Oh no!” Pinkie Pie gasp. “What if she wandered off to the secret tunnel and took a nap? There’ll be nothing between her and the dragons!”
Twilight and Applejack shared a look. “Ah’ll go get ‘er.” Applejack ran out.
~0o0~
Thunder Crash strolled along the docks, watching the pirates push a large stone in front of the cave’s entrance. The hazard of stealing your riches from dragons.
He set his cup of cider down. “I brought you a drink.” He said. “Thought we might have a nice chat.”
A rainbow colored blur came out of nowhere, and slammed him into the side of Pony Joe’s. Rainbow Dash’s eyes were wild, and frenzied. “I thought… you were dead…” She let go and bucked him into the ground. “The voices in my head…” She hissed. “Are telling me... you should be dead…” She spun around and did a triple summersault to build momentum before slamming him into the ground. “Give me one… good… reason… why I shouldn’t listen… to them?”
Thunder got up like it was nothing. “Somepony hasn’t been taking her pills recently.” He said, dodging her next attack. “I would think the Element of Loyalty would know not to kill her own father?”
“He’s right.” Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her mouth, and glared at him.
Thunder Crash took advantage of this, by taking lightning cloud from where he’d hidden it under his wing and bucked it towards her. Her skeleton was illuminated briefly, before she fell.
Rainbow growled and took to the skies again. Thunder followed. Rainbow spun around and flew past him, screaming: “Here comes the Filly Flash!” Thunder turned and followed her, but she preformed a trick with such accuracy that he was momentarily blinded, and knocked out of the sky by a positive lightning explosion!
He picked himself up and took off, heading straight towards Rainbow Dash. The two engaged in a game of chicken for a while, before with a hiss, Thunder’s wing separated. The upper half of the prosthetic wing folded over, and molded itself onto his other, real wing. Small fires began to light the tips of both clockwork wings.
He veered off to the side, and as they passed Rainbow heard three words:
“Enhanced. Stallion. Strut.”
The explosion rocked the cavern.
~0o0~
Lady Bahama was a light dragon. Her job was to fly through the skies, providing illumination for the other dragons. But Lord Francisco was a tunneling dragon. While all dragons could dig naturally with their tails, his tail made up more than two thirds of his body. She’d always felt more comfortable under the earth, with him.
Suddenly, he stopped drilling with his tail. “Did you feel that?” He whispered.
She grabbed her lamp, the one always floating in front of her, on a stem like that of an angler fish. She pressed her lamp to the ground, like a stethoscope, and heard the vibrations.
“Explosions.” She whispered. “Something it close.”
Lord Fransisco resumed drilling.
~0o0~
“Hold it right there Partner!”
Thunder looked up. He’d laid Rainbow on the ground in front of the tunnel. The rock was rolling shut behind them, but there was still ample space for the orange earth pony to come through. “What do ya think yer doin’ with Rainbow Dash?”
Thunder took a jar out of his mechanical wing. “It’s not what I’m doing, it’s what you’re doing.” He smashed the jar against his daughter’s head, and a rainbow colored liquid spilled out.
Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that?”
“Come and see.” He took off.
Applejack ran over to her friend. “Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash, wake… up…” Her nostrils were suddenly filled with the scent of the jam. “Zap… apples…”
She groaned, and took a step back as Rainbow Dash woke up. “Applejack? What… what’s going…” Her eyes widened as her friends stared at her. The bright green of Applejack’s eyes took up the spots of her eyes that used to be white or black. And they were glowing.
Applejack moaned, and panted. Bits and pieces of wood flew in from the gap in the rocks where Pony Joe’s was. It was like watching driftwood eat her. “What has he done to you?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Her hat fell off, and Applejack collapsed, buried under the wood. Soon, it was like she hadn’t even existed, she was just a pile of scrap wood.
And then the pile got up.
The pile of wood grew four legs, ending in sharp claws. The pile of wood grew a head, ending in sharp fangs. Two holes opened up in the head, and glowing green eyes shone out.
The timberwolf howled.
Rainbow Dash looked from her friend, to the gap in the rocks, and back to her friend. “I don’t care what any of you say.”
She said to the voices in her head. “I’m not running.” She picked up Applejack’s hat. “Sorry Applejack, but I’ll keep this safe for when Twilight finds a cure for… this.”
The Timberwolf lunged at her, lunged at the one unknowingly covered in Zap Apples, and Rainbow Dash flew away, beginning their deadly dance.
~0o0~
Pinkie Pie did five summersaults in succession. “My Pinkie sense!” She cried.
“What does this one mean?” Twilight asked.
“It means Applejack just turned into a timberwolf and is trying to eat Rainbow Dash, and they’re both outside of the cave!”
“… What!!!?” Twilight felt as if her mind could explode at any second.
“Oh no!” Rarity gasped. “Octavia, we have to stop them from closing…” Octavia was already gone.
Twilight sighed, so tired, but managed to gather herself up. “Come on girls!” She called. “I have absolutely zero ideas as to what is going on, but I’m not going to let any friends get lost in this sea of madness!” The Elements of Harmony rushed out of the ship.
Princess Luna moved to follow them, but Lord Stockholm stopped her. “Wait! Your highness!” His massive claws had finally flipped to the right page of the right book. “I’ve found it!”
“You’ve found a salvageable route to our nation's harmony?” Luna asked.
“Yes!” Stockholm cheered. “But it’ll be dangerous, and we don’t have much time so we’ll have to improvise some of it. Here’s the plan…”
~0o0~
Forte and Sir Ivory pushed against the rock.
“What are you doing!?”
They spun around and saluted as Octavia appeared behind them. “Captain! We’re shutting the gates so the dragons won’t find us!”
Octavia glowered at them. “Has it not occurred to you, that there are a pair of ponies in that corridor!? If the dragons find us, so be it! We’ll finally get a chance to fight them instead of hiding in the shadows! But we do! Not! Leave! Ponies! Behind!”
She pushed Forte aside, and gripped his harness, and began pulling in the other direction with all of her might. With some hesitation, the rest of the pirates joined in.
The Elements of Harmony rushed past them, and were met with an unusual sight. Rainbow Dash playing a game of ‘can’t catch me’ with a timberwolf!
“That’s it.” Twilight said, sitting down. “I give up. I don’t know up from down any more. This is…”
“Any ideas Fluttershy?” Pinkie Pie asked, nervously.
Fluttershy took in the scene. “She’s just being protective.” She decided. “But she’s going to try and hurt Rainbow Dash.” She flew over to the pair of them. “This is over, now!”
The two stopped, and stared at her. And she poured the full power of ‘The Stare’ onto the timberwolf. The timberwolf quailed, and back away with her tails between her legs.
“Applejack, if that’s you, SNAP OUT OF IT!!!” Fluttershy yelled.
The timberwolf yelped, and the wooden armor fell off of Applejack like leaves falling off of a tree. Her eyes returned to their normal, non-glowing state, and the look of sheer terror on her face was more than what Fluttershy could bear.
“Oh… I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy stopped staring, the taunting echo of monster ringing in her ears.
Applejack gasped, and collapsed on the floor. “Ah… Ah’m sorry.” Applejack whispered. “Ah…” her eyes widened as Rainbow Dash touched down, and she galloped a safe distance away. “No Rainbow Dash!” She yelled. “Don’t you come none closer, ya hear? Not ‘til you get that Zap Apple washed offa you.”
“Applejack…” Twilight looked at the mare she had thought was her best friend. “I thought what I see is what I get?”
Applejack was shocked into silence.
Tearfully, Twilight turned away from her. “Does anypony else have something they’d like to share?” Twilight asked. “Is anypony else an Illegal Equestrian, or not even a pony!?”
Rainbow Dash sheepishly raised her hand.
Twilight grunted in frustration. “Of course! Well at least you’re honest!”
The hurt in Twilight’s voice stabbed Applejack like a dragon’s fangs. “Twi… I am a pony… what you saw there was just…”
A purple hoof was held out. “I don’t want to hear it.” Twilight muttered. “I don’t want to hear anything from you.”
The somber moment was interrupted by Fluttershy’s dad rushing into the tunnel with Princess Luna. With a mighty heave, he pulled the stone shut, knocking the ponies on the other side off of their feet. “Alright, you know what you have to do Luna.” He said. Then he looked down, and saw Fluttershy in tears. “Fluttershy? What’s wrong?”
Fluttershy sniffed. “My friends… they’re… fighting...”
With a crash, the tunnel split open. Lord Francisco and Lady Bahama came out of a hole in the wall. “Lord Stockholm?” Lord Francisco gasped.
“That’s right!” Fluttershy’s dad beamed, and stood up tall. “I kidnapped these ponies! Now, if you…”
Princess Luna blasted him with a powerful beam of magic.
“NOOOOOO!!!!!” Fluttershy screamed as her father slumped against the wall. She tried to rush forward, but Rarity grabbed her, and pulled her into an embrace.
Princess Luna flew to the eye level of the dragons, noting the small army of dragons in the tunnel behind them. “I am Princess Luna, second in command of the Kingdom of Equestria. Thank you for your timely arrival. I have just finished rescuing my charges.”
The Lord and Lady smiled understandingly. “We heard the explosions. It must have been an impressive fight.”
“May I accompany you, as you escort my charges back to your kingdom?”
“It would be an honor.”
Fluttershy buried her face in Rarity’s mane as Lord Francisco dragged her father away. Rarity tried not to panic about how wet her mane was getting. Applejack stood far apart from her best friend’s glares and animal-inducing scent. Twilight tried to make sense of the world and failed. Spike tried to comfort Twilight and Rainbow Dash at the same time. Rainbow Dash tried to block out the voices in her head. And Pinkie Pie… was Pinkie Pie.
So, what do you want to know about first? The voices in Rainbow Dash's head? Or Applejack the Timberwolf?
782904 yes
WHY IN ALL OF FAUST'S CRIMSON MANE IS AJ A TIMBERWOLF? I mean... I just.... ehehehehehehh...... *Faints*
-2 or so hours later-
Wha... What happened? Applejack is a Timberwolf? Now why is that? What happened? And I'm kinda sorry for shouting, just too much to take in I guess.
Voices. Timberwolf is straightforward I'm guessing.
"Twilight and Appledash shared a look"
"Twilight and Appledash"
"Appledash"
timberwerewolf! like a regular werewolf, but sometimes she falls over!
what in the actual fuck is going on in this fic
782904
Timberwolf Applejack definately. Voices don't seem as interesting as a full on transformation at the sight/smell of zap apple jam.
WHAT A TWIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, so when Rainbow raised her hoof, was she confirming that she was an illegal equestrian, or not a pony? And apparently Applejack(And maybe the entire apple family?) turns into a timberwolf when she smells zap apples. ...Must wear noseplugs during harvest time.
782904 applejack cause from what i can tell dash is just schitzophrenic
What is this I don't even... weretimberAJ? PsychoDash?!
my mind hurts...
And of course, Twilight has got to have at least one more secret under wraps to make her a hypcrit and wow everyone... maybe something to do with that firemane stint of hers in Pinkie Sense.
Hmm so let me get this straight AJ's family is somehow timberwerewolves and rainbow is schizophrenic? wut the actual buck...
782904
Twilight and Appledash shared a look. “Ah’ll go get ‘er.” Applejack ran out.
>Twilight and Appledash
>Appledash
Freudian Ship or typo? You decide.
782904
... Wow.
This fic started on a brilliant note with some REALLY interesting insights into Spike and Fluttershy. Spike was brilliantly explained, and Fluttershy just made sense. Rarity was interesting, and well done.
It just seems like it's moving a bit fast, and the reveals don't seem to make much sense at this point. Applejack: How does that work? I mean, they harvest Zap Apples and turn them into jam... so shouldn't that happen every harvest?
As for Dash, it just popped up. There was no foreshadowing that I saw (or remember) which pointed to Dash having any issues, or that everything wasn't as it seemed. Next time you go to make a reveal like that, make sure you alert your readers beforehand so they don't see it and think you're just making stuff up as you go.
Not that making stuff up is a bad thing, but just be a little more careful. It's a wonderful story so far, and it's just bending my willing suspension of disbelief a bit. Nothing a couple good explanations couldn't fix.
782904 MOAR
771709 I thought it was too obvious to point out, honestly.
771651 That, on the other hand, I would never have thought of. Truth to tell, though, while it is brilliant, it doesn't quite fit.
EDIT: Despite the chapter indicator, I hadn't read chapter ten before posting the above.
I vote for leaving these things mysterious (for now; you will not get away with not explaining them later on) and keeping up the pace on the Dragon plot.
Speculation: Clearly, Thunder Crash is Discord. One of Twilight's parents is a shapeshifted Elemental Beastie of some kind, or perhaps a descendant of one of Celestia's "indiscretions" way back before she became a sober, responsible god-figure. Applejack? I say the Apples are descendants of Norseponies, and Úlfhéthnar (berserkers who take on wolf-like traits for battle). Pinkie? Pinkie's a part of the Q Continuum.
That said. If Pinkie turns out to be the only NORMAL pony, I'm going to freakin' flip out. Be kind of disappointed, but freak out.
We know Twilight can't be 'normal', she's the most powerful mortal magician on the planet, second only to the goddesses.
W...T...F... lets recap here 1 Fluttershy is a dragon princess 2. Spike is a pony that looks like a dragon 3 Rarity is a pirate 4. Applejack is a timberwolf 5 Rainbow Dash is schitzo. That five times my head exploded. I LOVE THIS FIC
782904
I would actually like to hear about Rainbow Dash first, partly because I think it would make more sense for her to share with Twilight before Applejack at this point.
782904
I'd like to hear more about why Applejack is a Lycanequus.
I've got a hunch.
Rainbow Dash has voices telling here to kill ponies. Twilight asks if any of them aren't from Equestria or aren't even ponies. RD raises a hoof.
CLEARLY, SHE IS A DALEK.
Also, I bet Twilight's secret will be revealed by her parents.
Twilight's parents found her out on a family trip to get some famed 'Zap Apple Jam' when they found a little cream coated baby near the edge of the Everfree Forest. This filly had no horn, but had a fiery mane and tail. They adopted the child and took her to Canterlot, casting an illusion spell on her to make her resemble them. Their son, overjoyed at the through of having a sister, helped teach her some social skills. But her semi-wild nature remained.
Cut to a couple decade later, and Twilight is drinks hot sauce. For the first time ever, the spell weakened, revealing her fiery mane and tail.
A few months later, after an entire day of taking hits a normal pony shouldn't survive, healing from said injures in seconds with minimal healthcare, and so much stress, her illusion completely dropped as she changed form completely, her mane and tail set aflame and her coat back to its natural color.
Twilight had evolved. She was no ordinary pony, she was a Pokemon.
783201
'Were' means 'man'. The term for wolf pony would be the one used above, Lycanequus.
Me after reading this chapter:
unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/exploding_head_3.jpg
Seriously, holy moly! I did NOT expect this at all. What I am wondering, what is Twilight going to have as her family secret?
Can you stop giving every character SOMETHING? It's getting aggravating trying to keep all these together. They would work as there own individual stories, there's just TOO MUCH GOING ON AT ONCE. And please don't take another chapter to explain what could have been a few paragraphs. That whole pirate backstory was unnecessary, as is giving everybody some fantastical problem.
You can't change it now, but be wary of how you mix these together. I strongly suggest making these into side-stories and keeping to the main "dragon wedding conspiracy" plot. Otherwise it could just end up like Castlevania 2. :V
783422
*Reads comment*
*Jaw drops*
It all makes sense now...
*Brain explodes*
782904
I just...I don't even have the right words to properly ask about whatever the hay I just read.
Lets see... Dragons, werewolves, pirates, jekyll and hyde.... Where's the vampires, frankenstein and zombies?
Jebus this is getting to be less of a story, and more of a 'reveal the crazy sekrit' montage.
Ok so when is it going to be revealed Pinkie Pie is a spawn of the Outer Gods
Explain Applejack frist please. I need to understand what just happened.
fluttershys dad got backstabbed
that luna is a double agent!
Hmm this is getting interesting I want to read more
783422 It's weirder than that. Applejack's wolf-form isn't simply a wolf: it seems to be literally made of wood. Not just a timberwolf, but a timber wolf (and not a timbre wolf; that's an entirely different series of puns). My own speculation is that there's an unusual combination of factors involved: the Apples are clearly intimately connected to their orchards; I wouldn't be surprised if they considered themselves a part of the orchards, or the orchards a part of them. But AJ's father (I'm assuming that the Apples are matrilineal), I'm guessing, was a powerful Úlfhéðinin, a wolf-berserker.
783981
Norse war machine meets pretty practitioner of floral transformation magic...
MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.
So, let's recap.
Rarity is a pirate.
Fluttershy is a dragon princess.
Spike is a pony. Twilight and Dash are his parents.
Applejack is a weretimberwolf.
Rainbow Dash is an illegal immigrant. And violently insane.
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well i was close when i said AJ would have something to do with the everfree.
I'm suddenly left wondering why exactly Twilight is so powerful
Pinkie could be Discords mother for all we know, still not touching that one.
783003
783274
I see what you both did there .
As for the story itself, I have to agree with one of the previous comments: the reveals are coming a little too quickly now. There's no dramatic build up like there was for the earlier ones. But some solid explanations can fix all that so all I can really say is keep up the good work and keep the mind fucks coming .
I'm beginning to think the author is sacrificing integrity for excitement. Really, if you'd just kept the story oing at the same pace, you could probably have had an extra 3 or 4 chapters by this point in the story. And don't think I didn't notice you using Pinkie pretty much simply to resolve otherwise difficult problems. Pinkie Sense is not clairvoyance.
783529 I think it works, actually. It starts as a fic with one bizarre thing, then quickly becomes crazy whacko but it was never intended to be wholly serious in the first place (think of it as Wild Mass Guessing in fic format).
782904
I'm more interested in Rainbow Dash's hand, personally.
I have criticism. It's not necessarily nice. It's not necessarily polite at times. At times it may even seem a little presumptuous and domineering. But I have criticism, and I feel it might be good for your story if I give it to you. If I do give it to you, I'm not going to hold back though. Do you want it?
Of course Rainbow simply turning out to be schizophrenic is too expected and not awesome enough. My money's on her being a robot or an otherwise artificial pony.
While I agree with the others saying a slower pace would be better, the story isn't exactly unreadable as-is. A bit jarring maybe, and the Rarity flashback seems a little out of place, but it's still entertaining.
784132
Read 'Sideboard of Harmony' if you want more input on just how Pinkie Pie and Discord might be related. You want to talk about mind-blowing? You ain't seen nothing 'till you read that one.
...'course it might not make sense if you haven't read its predecessor. So I'll link that here too. It's called 'Elementals of Harmony.'
Give 'em a look. They're really fun, interesting, action-packed reads.
783529
I'm glad somebody else sees this as an issue. I was worried I was alone in my criticism that this was going way way WAY too far off track.
782904
Dash's dad is an ass. Kill him.
783422
>mine countenance whereupon
Lets recap...
Twillight and Rainbow Dash are parents of spike (oddly)
Fluttershy is a dragon princess
Applejack is some sort of were-timberwolf
Rarity is a Pirate
Rainbow Dash has some weird haunting (i suppose) in her head
Pinkie Pie is a 4th wall breaking/hyper active/pink ball of fun/Pinkie Pie
oh and Appledash?
"Twilight and Appledash shared a look. “Ah’ll go get ‘er.” Applejack ran out. "
My suspension of disbelief would have been executed by firing squad a couple of chapters ago. But Rule of Cool basically throws suspension of disbelief away, so it doesn't matter anyway.
Timberwolf aj
782904
Applejack the Timberwolf.
I... but... okay, I'm sorry, but what the buck? I could have sworn Applejack said "What you see is what you get." WHAT THE HAY, MAN?
And on a side note, RD's apparent schizophrenia is much more interesting.
783289
Sorry. I thought the build-up for Dash was going along very well. Yes, the timberwolf thing jumped out, but honestly, is there any other way to present a timberwolf transformation then as something unexpected? Anyway, I'm glady your willing suspension of disbelief was only slightly bent.
783529
I understand your concerns, yes. But I don't think I can stop giving each character something. It's... you know...the whole point of the story. I don't want to stop giving backstories either, because each of their backgrounds could work really well as an individual story, and I want to give just tastes of that in case nobody else writes stories like them.
784205
Sorry. I thought it was plenty dramatic, but maybe not. I'll try to be more dramatic next time. Don't worry, all will be explained.
784402
Never. I would never do that. I wasn't using Pinkie Pie's sense to solve anything, if anything I was using Fluttershy's stare. And how exactly would I make this story three or four chapters longer if I took away plot points like Rainbow Dash or Applejack? No, while I do want my story to be shocking, I want it to shock in the same way that Chris Nolan puts twists in his movies, not shock like a troll.
784475
Alright. I can tell this is going to sting, but if this criticism isn't just repeating problems you've already mentioned, and actually a proposal to make the story better, then I'm all ears.
Ok... I'm lost. Was Luna attacking Fluttershy's dad a part of the plan or is she just a rotten little betrayer who is still under the influence of Nightmare Moon?
Nice Applejack weretimberwolf part by the way!
It will sure take some time for Twilight to forgive all of them.
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782904
What I want to know is, How much longer until we learn that Pinkie is an Assassin?
784205
I don't believe this qualifies as "doing something". We just pointed out a mistake. :/