Family Creeds
Not one tear of hers fell to the floor.
As she sobbed, a pink bubble had enveloped itself around her, gathering her tears in a pool in the bottom.
Twilight’s horn glowed with a righteous fury.
She didn’t know why Fluttershy’s dad would do something like that, but she wasn’t going to stand by and let it happen, especially if what the other dragons said was true, and tears falling was illegal.
She’d only seen Fluttershy cry like this once. After the Grand Galloping Gala, when she realized how mean she must have looked to the animals. This was a line crossed, and she felt Rainbow dash and Applejack on either side of her, ready to start a major diplomatic incident over their friend’s tears. ‘Let Celestia handle this’. She mouthed. Applejack nodded, and bit hard on Rainbow Dash’s tail just as a precaution.
Smaug looked to the other ponies. “Welcome to my Cave, your Royal Majesty Celestia, The Queen-Who-Would-Be-Called-Princess, The Sun-Bearer, The Sky-Master, The Gemstone-Maned, The Great-Trickster, The Unseen-Hand, The Silent Watcher, The Mirror-Match of All-Dragons, The Gardener, The Sunland Lord, Tan-Kthulthu the World Serpent’s Daughter, Equestria’s Mother-Of-Hearts, Discord-Bane, Tenderhoof, and Haerth’s Fire.”
Princess Celestia stepped forward, putting a comforting wing around Fluttershy before answering. “I am Welcomed… Smaug. Have you other honorifics?”
“I am Smaug.” The dragon king boasted. “I need no other honorifics.”
“Then Smaug, may I ask leave of you to have my subject leave the room? She is clearly distraught for some reason.”
“She is not your subject, Princess Celestia.” Smaug said. “She is our daughter, and our princess. Let us instead finish matters with all haste, so she may leave quicker, to dry her eyes.”
“Some dad.” Spike growled, and the rest of the ponies, who hadn’t yet realized Fluttershy’s father was dead, nodded in wary agreement. Fluttershy was still crying, and she’d filled up a fifth of the orb with her tears.
“We have invited you’re here, to bear witness to our daughter’s marriage. But also, to bring about a new peace between Dragons and Ponies. Before we begin peace talks, one matter must be addressed.” He pointed to Spike. “Your use of dragons as slave labor.”
Princess Celestia tittered. “Oh Smaug, Spike is not a dragon. He is a pony, who merely looks like a dragon. If you take a closer look, you will see that he is not any type of dragon you know.”
Smaug leaned in and took in Spike with his one eye. Spike stood there, anxiously, as Smaug looked him over and Fluttershy cried in the background.
“You are right.” Smaug said, after considerable inspection. “I apologize for the assumption, Your Majesty. From Fluttershy’s reports it seemed…” He waved a claw. “But no matter. For the duration of your stay, you will be the honored guest of Lady Babbage’s cave. You will unfortunately be escorted by my Knights at all times and require advanced notice to go elsewhere, so as not to disturb my subjects, but otherwise it is my hope that you enjoy the hospitality of the Great Pack.”
Lady Babbage looked like she was close to tears as well.
Then Smaug turned to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, you are obviously distraught.” That was the polite way of saying it. The force field was halfway full of her tears as she continued bawling. “Before you leave, I would like you to meet your future husband.” Smaug waved. “As it turns out, Lord Krastos was secretly raising his own monster.” One of the three strategically placed side doors opened, and out came the last pony anypony expected to see.
He was a Pegasus. His wings were small, and shriveled up, probably from the same malnutrition that had almost claimed Fluttershy. But the rest of him was immense, as large as an alicorn, built like a brick house that was built by dragons. His muscle’s muscles had muscles. His cutie mark was a set of weights, and upon closer observation, the weights on his cutie mark weighed one hundred tons. Who knew what age he was at when he got his cutie mark, but if he was at any normal pony’s age and he somehow managed to lift that? Apparantly, being raised by a dragon was better for strength then being raised by the Apples.
“I’ve seen this guy before.” Rainbow Dash whispered. “He showed up in Ponyville for the twister event. What was his name again…”
The stallion opened his mouth. “I AM TARZAN THE MIGHTY!” He roared.
“I know you two are going to be very happy together.” Smaug smiled. “But for now, you seem distressed for some reason. So please, by all means, go back to your cave and get some rest. I’ll be all ears if you want to talk about it later.” To the ponies, his smile was kindly. To the dragons, it was full of mockery.
Pinkie Pie jumped onto the force field, and began to roll it out of the room, Fluttershy still attached to it. The orb was now almost full of her tears, and she still didn’t stop crying. They made it halway out of the atrium before the Great Pack adjourned, and Lady Babbage scooped Fluttershy up and rested her on her back, where she hugged her mother and cried.
~0o0~
She woke up the next morning, after crying herself to sleep.
She was fairly surprised to see the warm charcoal nest she’d grown up in instead of the bed she had in her cottage. Then she remembered the previous day. She sniffled, weakly, and for a moment she considered not getting up at all.
Then she heard somepony snoring beside her.
She screamed and shot up to the ceiling in a panic. Did it already happen? Did I already marry that Tarzan?
But no. It was just Twilight Sparkle. The snore was coming from next to her nest, not in it, where Twilight had been sleeping on one of her dad’s books. Twilight snorted awake. “Fluttershy? You’re awake?”
Fluttershy sighed with relief, and landed. “Y-yes, I am.”
Twilight got up from where she had laid down. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy frowned. “F-for what?”
“I’m sorry about your dad.” Twilight said. “He sounds like a great dragon. You mother explained everything last night. About how your dad’s stare didn’t work on Smooze because he had only one eye. We’re so sorry Rainbow Dash, Rarity and I stayed up with you. I don’t know where they are now.” Twilight blushed. “Also… I’m sorry for what I said before then. After the whole ‘Queen of the hoard’ thing. I just over-analyzed everything and I made it so much worse for you –”
“It’s okay Twilight.” Fluttershy said with a smiled. It had hurt when Twilight had said them, but she would hurt more if she continued watching Twilight blame herself for it. Besides, any debt she might have held against her for her harsh words was erased because Twilight had thought to save her from her tears. “You’re a good friend.”
Twilight sighed with relief, and hugged Fluttershy. Fluttershy buried herself into the warmth of Twilight’s mane. Fluttershy felt safe with Twilight around. With her in her arms, she felt the troubles of the previous day melt away like Nightmare Moon or Discord. With her, she was sure she could find a way to face her father’s death, and her impending marriage to… Tarzan…
Suddenly, she felt twilight tense up, and sniff experimentally. “Smoke?”
Fluttershy sniffed as well. Her nose wasn't as sensitive to smoke, but she soon realized it wasn’t normal dragons smoke. “A fire! Ohmigoodness ohmigoodness, ohmigoodness!”
The two of them ran down to the kitchen, where they were met with the sight of Rainbow Dash, covered in something yellow and sticky, trying to cook ash. “I was just trying to make pancakes!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
Twilight ran forward. “Did you blend the batter before cooking it?” She asked.
“Yeah, but I couldn’t find the blender, so I just mixed it with a miniature tornado.”
Fluttershy flew to the pantry and grabbed the blender. “It’s okay Rainbow Dash. We’ll make a new batch.”
“Hey Flutters! You’re up! And… why do your parents have a model of Celestia’s Palace in their kitchen cupboards?”
“It’s a blender.”
Twilight cleared the smoke away with her magic. “Odd, why didn’t anypony else notice the smoke?”
And that was when Fluttershy’s ears picked up the soft scratching of claws against stone, and wings preparing to flare.
She spun around just as a teenage purple dragon with long golden hair leaped out at her, and brought a hoof down on his face.
The other dragon snarled and blew fire at her, but Fluttershy ducked out of the way and put him in a chokehold. He reached behind him and flipped her off of his back and onto the stone floor. The pair of them rolled across the floor until they hit a wall, where Fluttershy finally pinned the dragon. They glared at each other for a while.
And then Fluttershy began to tickle him.
He laughed and tried to swat her away, but she pressed on. She finally relented, and the two pulled each other into a hug.
“Fluttershy!”
“Vulcas!”
“It’s so good to see you again!”
“Look at how much you’ve grown!”
Twilight and Rainbow Dash stared on in bemusement.
“Howdie all.” Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie walked into the room. “Rarity heard Fluttershy wake up, and Pinkie figured we oughta give her a dose of normality again to get her smiling as soon as possible.”
“Good idea.” Twilight said, watching the two siblings wrestle.
Spike walked into the room, yawning. “I’m up Twi. You didn’t need to start the pancakes without me. You know I can –” Spike saw Rainbow Dash looking sheepish, and tried to cover the pan.
Spike’s entrance picked up Vulcas’ attention. But the attention was held by something different. “WOAH!” Vulcas stood up. “Is my hair straight?”
Fluttershy blinked. “Um… yes?”
Vulcas strode towards Rarity, and began to do a mating dance.
Rarity was visibly distressed. “Oh dear… Twilight, when did you find the time to teach Fluttershy’s brother to dance?”
“Ohmigoodness, ohmigoodness, ohmigoodness!” Fluttershy blushed, and hid her head in her hooves.
“Vulcas!”
All heads turned, as Lady Babbage strode into the kitchen, Princess Celestia behind her. She had aged gracefully. No longer the young mother of Fluttershy, she was a grand draconis queen. And though she still had some elements of her former ‘cute’ self, the only word to describe her now was ‘regal’.
“That is not the way we raised you, young drake.” She said. “Other dragons may go straight for the dance, but you should get to know her first, give her flowers and gemstones, maybe ask Fluttershy about pony courtship rituals.”
“Wait, what?” Rarity squeaked.
“Yes mom.” Vulcas bowed his head.
“Woah, woah waoh!” Spike stalked up to Vulcas. “Courtship rituals?”
“Well… I know it’s a bit weird.” Vulcas rubbed his head. “I’m a scaly reptile, she’s a fuzzy pony.”
“Fuzzy?” Rarity was affronted.
“But… well… look at her and tell me you don’t think she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.”
Spike looked at Rarity. “She’s the most beautiful pony I’ve ever seen.” He said. Then he turned back. “And thus, she’s off limits to you.”
“Hold on, who are you to decide whether I’m off limits or not?” Rarity asked.
“So you will go on a date with me?” Vulcas asked. “Or… hang on, Fluttershy, what are pony courtship rituals?”
Fluttershy was too busy burying her face in her hoofs to participate in the conversation.
Her mother brushed a wingtip against her. “Fluttershy? Do you want to talk?”
Fluttershy nodded, and Lady Babbage carefully lifted Fluttershy onto her back. She carried her through the hallways of their cave, past the stairs, and the Hoard Room, and into the Library.
Stockholm’s library was the biggest dragon library in the world, in every sense of the word. Most of the books on his shelves wouldn’t fit through the door of any normal pony’s home. And there were so many shelves filled with them, they descended down for two more floors, which in pony terms was thirty more floors. Judging from the disorganized mess on the enormous study desk, Twilight had already been at the books, voraciously taking in anything she could while she was here.
Lady Babbage set her daughter down on the desk. “You have good friends Fluttershy. A fine pack. I’m so proud of you.”
Fluttershy nodded.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t get in touch with you earlier. Ever since the… fight… I’ve been under an unofficial house arrest.”
“It’s not your fault.” Fluttershy shivered. “It was… so shocking. Yesterday was the worst day of my life.”
“Do you want a shoulder to cry on?” Her mother offered.
“No thanks.”Fluttershy shook her head. “I’ve cried enough. Now I have to… I have to…”
“You don’t have to do anything.” Her mother nuzzled her. “You don’t have to do anything at all.”
“I have to get married…”
“NO!” Lady Babbage roared, her clawed fists banging down on the desk top.
Fluttershy jumped back, surprised. “Mom…?”
Her mother sighed, and swayed, almost sinking to the floor before she regained her regal bearing. “Fluttershy… before fighting your father, Lord Smooze fought Lord Krastos. Unusually, Lord Krastos let his survive the fight, but before the fight ended Krastos had torn out Smooze’s eye. Without his depth perception, Lord Smooze wouldn’t be effected by your father’s Stare.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “You think Lord Krastos…”
“I think it’s a bit too convenient that all of a sudden he has a son you can marry.” Lady Babbage snarled. “I think that he’s trying to attack me from the shadows, just like the coward he is. I think he’s been playing the long game, planning this week out since the moment he realized you existed. I think that oing anything he wants, including getting married to his… whatever that pony is to him, would be a very bad idea.”
Fluttershy bowed her head. “But… I’m a princess. If Smaug tells me to get married, there’s not much I can…”
“You can say no.” Lady Babbage said. “And I would start a war for you.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “Oh no! Mom, you’d be killed!”
“And that would buy enough time for you to escape.” Lady Babbage lifted her chin. “Fluttershy…”
“No.” Fluttershy shook her head. “No mom. You leave everything to me.” She smiled. “I’ve grown so much stronger since my last visit. My friends have grown so much stronger. They’ll help me, whatever I do. I don’t want you to risk you life for me.”
“No mother would do less for her child.” Lady Babbaged glared. But her glare softened, and she nuzzled Fluttershy again. “Oh… my Fluttershy…” She whispered softly. “You have grown.”
“I know Mom.” Fluttershy hugged her in return.
The two of them shared the blissful peace and quiet of the library.
Fluttershy broke the silence. “So… you’ve been talking to Princess Celestia?” Fluttershy asked.
Lady Babbage giggled excitedly. “She has a phoenix!”
“I know. Isn’t it exciting?”
“She’d been telling me all about her! Oh, but I must visit Canterlot some day and meet Philomena!”
Fluttershy giggled. “It’s good to be home mom. Despite everything. Right here, right now, I’m happy.”
~0o0~
From deep in the dark basement of his cave, Lord Krastos watched Lady Babbage and Fluttershy hug through a mirror. He cackled wickedly, only for the cackle to turn into a cough.
“You’re getting worse.” Smaug gloated from the shadows behind him.
Lord Krastos reached out a claw for a goblet at his side. He crushed some emeralds into the chalice and took a long, deep draught. He took a fresh breath of air through his throat. “No, Smaug… I’ve never felt more alive.”
“You and I have vastly different opinions on the word ‘alive’.” Smaug growled. “You’re near death. You should be entering the Deep Sleep, instead of constantly staying awake.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Lord Krastos chuckled.
Smaug squirmed slightly, as Lord Krastos turned to look at him. “You never would have had the chance to become Smaug without me. Now everything is going exactly according to plan… and you want me to sleep?”
Smaug frowned. “Careful how you speak to me.”
“I am careful.” Lord Krastos said. “I am very careful not to provoke you. You would destroy me utterly in a fight, and then where would we both be?” Lord Krastos took another draught. “Leave me.”
“You do not order Smaug.” Smaug growled, but it was a half hearted growl.
“The rest of the world may believe that, but you and I know better.” Lord Krastos sighed. “I tore out your eye so you would be immune to Stockholm’s stare. I boosted your fighting prowess with magic to defeat him in ‘fair’ combat. And if you want to have the same chance against Celestia, you won’t dare harm me. So leave… please.”
“Just have your magic ready.” Smaug growled and left.
Lord Krastos listened, and waited, until Smaug closed the door to the basement behind him. “… And my mind, your majesty. My magic… and my mind. Of the two, I know which one is the more powerful.”
He traced a claw along the mirror, watching Lady Babbage talking with Princess Celestia. “Aaahh… Babbage… Smaug’s dragon age will fade, as all empires do. And I will go to my own rest soon enough. All things in life, are only temporary pleasures. But there is one temporary pleasure, I have yet to have… A final joy to steal…”
He turned, cracked his claws, and reached out towards the coral growing on the wall. The coral’s tubes spiraled the full length of the basement’s walls. Various small creatures used to live inside the corals, but Krastos had burned them out long ago, while polishing the tubes with his fire. Reaching out, he began to play on the keyboard he’d attached to the coral, melodies floating around the perfectly acoustic basement.
My mother dear, she called me sickly…
And my father proud, he called me weak…
But when I look into your eye I find,
The presence of a willful mind,
The same that made my life not look so bleak.
I was never the leader of any pack,
And every dragon called me a creep.
But I found they changed their tune,
When under cover of the moon,
I murdered both my parents in their sleep!
He began hacking again, and took another draught from his chalice, then picking up the music in a faster pace.
Lesson One: Being a coward means being alive!
Lesson Two: Don’t let on that you can connive!
Lesson Three: Strike when they least expect your strike!
Lesson Four: Know exactly where to swing that pike!
This is the Creed of Cunning!
The art of Krastos the Great!
And, you’ll never see me coming,
Until it’s far too late!
But then I her eyes met mine across the crater…
And I knew at last I’d met my mirror-match!
She turned away each of my tricks,
I had to learn to take my licks,
Because she was just too good of a catch!
But no you had to marry that grandstander!
And our duels piled up without an end!
He turned you against me,
But I’m going to set you free,
And then your sweetness will make amends.
Lesson five: Patient is your greatest ally!
Lesson six: Know exactly where to ply!
Lesson seven: Stay in the darkest shadows!
Lesson eight: Don’t stop till the reaper crows!
This is the Creed of Cunning!
The adventure of Krastos the Great!
And I hope that she can see me coming,
So that we can properly enjoy our date!
The music turned more sinister, darker, and Krastos began to play the corals like a dragon possessed.
Everything is going according to plan,
Call it genius, or destiny, or fate!
My mirror-match no longer she,
Shall bow, this is her destiny,
It’s time for her final checkmate!
Oh, I can’t wait to get her to the altar!
Where she can finally say I do!
And make no mistake,
It’ll be a piece of cake!
Because if she doesn’t, I’ll turn her Precious Pony Daughter
into GLUUUUUEEEE!!!!!
From deep in his dark basement cave, Krastos began to laugh, punctuation occasionally by a hacking cough. Flame spilled out of his mouth, enchanted with an illusion spell. The green flame transformed into a vision of Fluttershy, and as the caricature smiled, a green tendril of flame formed the head of a dragon, opened its jaws wide, and devoured Fluttershy’s image, leaving only a faint green smoke, and the sick laughter of Krastos.
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I am commenting because I want the friendship tank. GIVE ME A FRIENDSHIP TANK CODE. And also story is awesome.
i think it went ok.
though I think ya could have explored and developed some characters a bit more. perhaps a babbagexshy to twixspike contrasting and a bit more on how babbage spent her time after the loss of her husband. all I got was "she was a bit sad" when clearly you suggest much more.
Loved the whole Bugs Bunny Fencing Reference. That was classic. I also can't wait to actually see what happens to Fluttershy when she meets her father the previous Smaug. This is getting good.
“Look out, that Pony has my Halberd!”
my brain stoped working for a second when i read that
and then i burst out laughing>>677557
So, Tarzan is Blueblood's pegasus twin brother who was abandoned at birth, right? Cause that would explain everything.
Also, it should go: Pinkie: "You were all like… Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!" *muzzle flips up*
encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRa1gEBJ1umqQ-jn0L6NBVmezZcD3_byZaHgEFRvIOTNJdquBHRMOIw0Kc
677557
at that) was not just "boring," but not even worthy of being on an outline of a story! I would have loved to see Rarity be awesome than be told after the fact how awesome she was. "French Haute Couture! / 'That Onomatopoeia shouldn’t even exist!'" was funny, but I'd rather quality come before comedy--by which I don't mean that something can't be both quality and comedy, only that the later should come after the former.
I'm sorry to say that, indeed, the drop in quality was very obvious, especially with regard to dialogue. At times I was confused as to who was speaking, and when Twilight and Rainbow are fighting over letting Spike come I would have loved to see their non-verbal reactions.
The "fight" with the KISS (I still
I don't say this to be mean, but because I loved the last four chapters, which are quality, and would hate to see the rest of the story continue along these lines.
>>Slice! Dice! Cross Stitch! French Haute Couture!
>>“That Onomatopoeia shouldn’t even exist!”
I doubt I'm likely to get tired of Rainbow Dash acting fatherly anytime soon. There's something inexplicably funny about it.
I'm looking at this in the feature box, then I click to see the whole summary, the first thing that cros my mind was "Please, don't tell me that 'Dragonesssess is resescive'"..... You have my whole attention, now I'm going to read this
677656
I agree on both counts. In fact, I think I may add a friendship tank to a later chapter of the story, because FRIENDSHIP TANK!
677720
Thanks CeresBane. You're right, I feel like I haven't developed the characters at all as much as I wanted too.
677731
Thanks. What do you think, is it meme material?
677813
I cannot believe that you guessed that!
And yes, her muzzle should have flipped up, but I was going for purely vocal story telling in that section, so it's up to you whether it did or not.
677830
Huh. Not the criticism I was expecting, but thank you for it all the same.
I was actually going for a completely dialogue oriented scene that time. I thought that, while description is usually for the best, I would leave the fight scene between Rarity and the K.I.S.S. to the reader's imagination. I thought, of everything in this chapter, that section turned out the best.
I can see where you're coming from though. I don't think I made a mistake there, but I can see how it wouldn't appeal to some. And You are right about the need for some non-verbal reactions in the Twilight-Rainbow Dash argument. I do have a tendency to get carried away with witty back-and-forth dialogue.
This story dun be gettin gud!
Smaug is so going down for making Fluttershy cry. 
Now this is an interesting twist for a Fluttershy fic. It's too late tonight to read, so I will get to this tomorrow. For now you get a read later and a thumb up.
Well, this crackfic has me addicted. Faust's feathertips... this is simply beyond description in terms of how absurdedly funny it is!!
Twilight and Dash are the psuedo-parents of Spike, who is Hybrid pony-dragon, and Fluttershy was raised by dragons and as despite being a pony and Rarity can wield a halberd and Smooze is on the throne and KRASTOS (my gosh that settles who the villain mentioned in the description is) is the father of Horse Power?
I think my cerebral cortex just threw up from motion sickness.
677850 677863
Thank you, Thank you!
677899 677953
I hope you like what you see.
678031
I'm glad you like it. More twists and turns to come, so give your cerebral cortex a barfbag!
678120 Do want....
Spice must flow Spice must Flow Spice must Flow...
I'm about one chapter away from a fried cerebral cortex. Go ahead, make my week, I triple-Diamond-Dog-dare you.
Also, fire-breathing-Fluttershy from the earlier chapters must be used! I WANT TO SEE SHY' BREATH FIRE!!!
LOLOL i saw this episode of Friendship is Witchcraft yesterday
This is fantastic! I've been laughing it up all five chapters and loving every moment. I just want to hug this story! Is it possible to hug a story? I dunno but Imma try anyways.
It was funny. But.... the mood was too sporadic. Making an ocular gusher parody of Fluttershy's tears was particularly painful. Writing both dramatically and humorously takes a deft touch and careful work.
Nuuuuuuu..... no more chapters.....
Liked already. Following. Needs. Moars. Chapters
.....Cliff hanger killing me.... 
holy f**k this is good. Wow. This is good. Wow.
Slice! Dice! Cross Stitch! French Haute Couture!
“That Onomatopoeia shouldn’t even exist!”
i make up 6 impossible onomatopoeias a day. that one's normal compared to some.
also, dayum! Rarity's a badass!
K.I.S.S Trooper: "My blood! She punched out all my blood!"
I do hate to criticize this story, but I have to agree with some of the above comments. The chapter felt shorter than it was due to the inconsistent pace, and rushed in the extreme near the end due to the fight scene's execution. I like the idea of a dialogue-based action scene, but you need more narration in the dialogue for it. listen to one of the old radio plays like 'the shadow' for a good example of what I mean. Content wise, I still love the ideas here and find it hilarious. A revision would be lovely, but I can live with it as is.
Rainbow Dad is hilarious and heartwarming.
Rarity as a competent fighter.....Score
. Can't wait to see the talent of 
Shweet! (Saying that goes against all of my obsessive spelling freak ways, but it fit the occasion.
)
677581 dude thst is so fucking awesome!!!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
678847 Not really, it's everywhere in DA if you know where to look
There's even one with it firing but I can't remember where
so Fluttershy is a dragon. Spike is a unicorn who hatched from a rock, Twilight and Rainbow Dash are his parents. Rarity is a monster of some kind. Apple Jack ...? and Pinkie Pie ...I'm not touching that with a 10' pole
what other interesting secrets will we learn? any guesses? I'm thinking AJs has something to do with everfree.
678120
So let me get this Stright: Fluttershy is actually the adopted daughter of the (Legitimate)King of Dragons and the Queen of Dragons, was rised as a dragon, moved to Equestria for diplomatic and reccon purposes and actually she started an all-out brawl in the playground wile meeting Rainbow Dash(With the shocking reveal that her name is actuallyRainbow Crash, daughter of a retired Epic Wonderbolt who was (In)Famous for his extremely dangerous and bordeline suicide maneuvers and his usually horrible, brutal and gruesome crash-landings in which somehow manages to survive without any kind of damage and aparetly that skill was actually inherated to Rainbow Crash who now because of shame she changed her last name from Crash to Dash when she moved to cloudsdale as a new start) and Gilda at the same time, then here in this fanfic is also revealed that the stare have also Jedi mind trick propierties when used at full force, even enought to erase the memories of the victim...
Then is revealed that Spike is actually a Unicorn pony who was created from a rock as a ressult of Twilight's Magic being impregnated by the Sonic Raingasm that is actually the Sonic Rainboom of Rainbow Dash, so Twilight is actually Spike's Mother and Rainbow Dash is actually Spike's "Father", and they had him around when they had the ages of the CMC.... this somehow sound disturbing and ilegal, and thanks to this I can see a Shotgun Marriage in the Future, enforced by the Prince/Captain Shining Armor and Nightmare Moon-I MEAN Princess Luna (even if the slow progression TwiDash shipping is actually happening or not nor if Rainbow Crash/Dash is actually trying her best to be the parental father figure he needs for his growth and foalhood
) Because the Sparkle and Celestia's Family(By proxi) won't have a bstard child into the family or without a full family at all....
So now Everypony has gone to the Darklands to meet Fluttershy's fathers and the aparent groom for fluttershy's arranged marriage only for flutteshy discover that his father has been actually overtrown and this whole marriage fiasco was arranged by the coup king and a shoddy chancelor who think that Poines are actually mindless weapons of destruction....
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678223
Dare accepted!
678315
Okay, I don't know a thing about Friendship Is Witchcraft, but if they are copying me, then that is awesome!
678337 678408
Thanks for the advice.
678405 678446 678579 678465 678589
Thank you all so very much! It's because of people like you that my earning of the feature box has been made possible!
“Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye!” Pinkie Pie swore.
Die?
Oh man this is great! In my opinion you captured everyone's personality perfectly thus far. The creativity behind everything in these chapters is just pefect! No one is being singled out too much to distract from the main plot and I love it so.
Also I forgot to comment on a hilarious Spike the phantom of The Library with his disfigured pony mask and dramatic monologue a few chapters back.
must hide im being forced to canoe
678548
I'll try to do better with the pacing.
Thanks for the advice.
679028
That's about the sum of things. Except for Rainbow's dad (that'd be too obvious) and the Shotgun wedding (Equestria doesn't have shotguns).
678944
I'll save the CMC's secrets for the sequel.
Oh, you'll learn secrets here for each of the man cast. And then some.
679762
Did I make a mistake? What do you usually say there if not 'die'?
680122
Thanks a bunch Meester!
679599 well actually...they posted that episode about 6 months ago
680837 it's "cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye"
680837
hope to fly
oh and UPDATE THE AWESOMENESS!!!!!
Because of the sadness of the previous chapter, I almost stopped reading your story. When it turned out Fluttershy's dragon dad was alive, I felt better. For making me feel so low that I wanted to unfavorite this and then optimistic enough to make me refavorite this, I give you...
680964
You mean... I'm not the first one to come up with the idea that Fluttershy was raised by dragons? 
MY ANGUISH IS ETERNAL!!!
681027 681167
Thank you.
681069
Third page of comments! Alright! Yes, I will update soon. The next two chapters are already close to completion.
I just read this from start to this current chapter, and I must say I absolutely love your sense of humor. This story is hilarious to me because of all the little jokes and references you put in. I love it.
I especially loved the castle being a blender.
Anyways, I will be watching this for sure. This is one of the most genuinely funny fics I've read in a while, and I'm looking forward to more. So, congrats.
Oh, uhm, the rest if the story was good too. I like this concept, and it's done fairly well. It's rather interesting, and unique. The backstory you put behind Fluttershy and Rainbow Crash (lol that's her legitimate name...) was actually quite good. More so by the fact that it does make sense. So, keep on writing this. It's one my current top favorites that I'm tracking.
681628
Just out of curiosity, who all's secrets have we covered? We've got Fluttershy, Rarity's coming up... was Spike Twilight's? I figured RD's is going to be something about her dad. AJ and Pinkie don't seem to have any hints yet, but I might have missed something.
rarity is
when mad 
anyway keep it up 
683386
Thanks Meliron. I'm glad that the humor of the story appeals to you! I'm glad you like the 
s and turns and backstories too, and I hope you like what's to come.
683713
Twilight's secret has yet to be revealed. 
And there are always hints.
Spike's was Spikes.
684212
Thank you!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i shall finish reading now
Spike’s plan was simple. Lady Babbage’s family was under an impromptu house arrest. So, Fluttershy would trick let Tarzan take her on the ‘walk’ he mentioned, (followed by her friends hidden with Lady Babbage’s bird-watching camouflage,) and when they got far enough away, they would knock him out and follow the parrot.
Tricklet? Mind, stop imagining Fillyshy in a hooker outfit!