Too Many Memories

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Comments ( 10 )

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FeinesFabi

FeinesFabi #1 · Jan 6th, 2015 · · ·

O.0
th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/077/b/3/confused_twilight_by_hardsdk-d4t449o.png

rikusorasephiroth

rikusorasephiroth #2 · Jan 7th, 2015 · · ·

Not bad, but you'd have been better off without the whole 'slime kingdom' plot.
Twilight's natural curiosity would have been enough.

RadPanic

RadPanic #3 · Jan 7th, 2015 · · ·

5473970 Did you feel that was distracting from the good stuff? I was concerned about that myself. In retrospect maybe I could have trimmed it down a bit further.

rikusorasephiroth

rikusorasephiroth #4 · Jan 7th, 2015 · · ·

5474520 It was beyond distracting from the good parts. I wouldn't quite say off-putting, but it was edging it.
That said it was still... adequate.

greydoran

greydoran #5 · Jan 7th, 2015 · 4 · ·

5474520 I think it's fine how it is, personally. I hate it when stories just launch right into fetishes without even a basic attempt at a plot (yay, self deprecation!).

CrowMagnon