• Member Since 12th Dec, 2011
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Jest


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Sequels1

Comments ( 74 )

Really need more outbreaks of nerd song in my life.

Thank you for doing the story all at one. Most people here just leave it as incomplete and never touch it again.

Oh that can’t be good

9104636
Of course! I hate that too, which is why I always endevour to complete the entirety of a oneshot before even posting the first one.

Spike smiled a toothy grin. “Nope!”

Damn right!

When you want a kid and want your futa friend to help you

You don't need the [img] and [/img] for the imgur link in the description, it just breaks it.

More pony porn in the featured box. (The Featured Box Troll )

thas alot of alicorns

It's that time of the year again, is it? These futa Twilight stories seem to come in seasonally in waves. A drought most of the year, then a flood.

9104829
Actually at the end its explicitly pointed out that they are one of each tribe, not alicorns.

9104857
media2.giphy.com/media/3ov9jSmH7dpEVwKFig/giphy.gif

Oh boy. This is why you use a soundproof spell LOL.
---------------

Hes is always willing

He's always

will make this an massive

a massive

looming it's ugly head

its

wasn't a ponyville native

Ponyville

Oh yes
-------------------

it sat it's twin set perfectly

Despite it's amazing size

its

Easily curbing the mare’s over enthusiasm while ensuring she did not become overly docile in the act.

The zebra’s well trained muscles squeezing and milking Twilight’s cock.

Incomplete sentence

nearly beat red by

beet red

I guess what they say is true, having friends does have benefits.

Your story is comfortable and smooth to read and has few errors, that is a big plus.
I also like the general story outline.

My own preference is a non-anthro setting, but anthro is fine too if done well.
And here I come to my criticism:

Besides the characters and the setting, there is not much that sets this story apart from any other adult story in a completely human setting. What makes the characters anthro ponies? Do they have equine ears, a muzzle, a tail, fur or hooves (instead of feet)? There has to be at least a bit of stuff like that to set the characters apart from normal humans, I think.
I'd have liked to see such bodyparts involved/mentioned. A swishing tail, twitching or laid down ears maybe? A bite into the soft membrane of an ear maybe?
If you, the writer, imagine it like it, nothing of it is mentioned. It only mentions Zecoras stripes...
Maybe you could add little tidbits here and there to enrich the story.

Also, I think Twilights studious OCD character comes a bit too short.
I can't imagine her letting the skirt fall to the floor and kicking it aside. She'd more likely disrobe with intent and a possible blush on her cheeks, fold her clothes and set them aside neatly before embarking further in their intimacies.
Also, I was astounded in the previous character when she named her endowment dick when talking to Mayor Mare. I would have expected such words in chapters like this with Zecora, but not in a more official scenario. I would have expected Twilight to word it more delicately.

Lyra and Bon Bon are definitely due a surprise

Ay dis gon b gud
--------

choosing to ignore Rainbow Dash entirely. head.

????????

blush spreading across her face.”

Delete the quotation mark

sure your alright with

you're

course were in!”

we're

I hope we see some Celestia x Twilight. That look definitely wasn't for nothing.
--------

are you sure your alright

later if your busy with

Your right. I’ll talk

I’m glad your doing

you're

worried princesses’ weren't

Delete the apostrophe

LMAO Spike
--------

that since alicorn’s are

four hundred Starswirl’s of

Delete the apostrophe

after setup” Twilight sang.

Either a comma or a period after "setup"

Ay, not bad.
--------

“She's al lready for you

all ready

Yay Cheerilee :D
------

know our sister’s can be a

Delete the apostrophe

Ay, was pretty good. A shame you didn't sneak in Celestia somewhere :trollestia:

This could have just been a pile of fetish. But instead it was rather heart-warming. Good job.

Rarely any Twilight x Zecora stories showing up.

So Spike is not going behind Twilight's back about his secret relationship with the CMC.

Maybe Twilight should sign Spike into next year's festival.

Couple shipped.

Why does this musical number make the think of "See My Vest" from the Simpsons? I mean I know that's a dig at " be our Guest" but even though I grew p more with the latter then the former "See my Vest" came to mind first.

9104857
I'm laughing so hard I might get a nosebleed.

Could also be this stale dry air. I mean, the outside is so smokey I can't see all the way down the street--widlfires.

:pinkiecrazy:Sex= mc2 It all makes sense now!

Philistine

Don't you mean Fillystine?

"Bring out the super comfy chair!"
"Ludicrous speed, GO!"

Why don't we see Twilight fucking? Also the roles of the mane 5 is a little confusing.

9162491
But... we do though, several times. Also how is it confusing. I litterly have them espouse dialogue expressely stating what they are doing and why.

9162509
I guess. It's just weird that when the fucking is at it's height we don't see Twilight.

You do but it's mostly a confusing situation. They have to prep them one by one? That's a pretty strange set-up. Wouldn't the mane 6 just stay put and prep them mares as they come?

9162517
But they litterly are preparing them as they come. THe thing you said would make better sense is litterly what happened in the story. Also if I described every single time she fucks someone the story would be 6 times as long, and more or less redundant as shes just doing it quick and dirty.

9163071
Yeah you're right. I wasn't paying enough attention and I mostly just found it strange they entered and didn't stay put.

And then, years later, the vast majoity of the sets of triplets take-after the C.M.C..:pinkiecrazy:

(And that's how Equestria was destroyed.)

i feel kinda bad for the single mothers who only wanted one child instead of three because of money or living arrangements

9200395
I'm sure twilight would come up with a creative solution.

9200728
Well shes a princess so its not impossible to think that she couldnt issue tax breaks, partner with buisnessess, etc.

9200771
thats good on the money end but not on the living space end

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