The Midnight is Here

by Midnight Glimmer 1213

Luna Forever

"That was probably the best crusading trip ever!" Sweetie Belle shouted excitedly. "And I think we have a new crusader to join us! You come up with some good ideas, Midnight!"

Midnight Glimmer knew her ideas were better, and safer, than the Crusaders. But she wouldn't rub it in. Her second day with them had been better than the first. Maybe because they weren't always falling asleep. But she had a pretty good idea of what their cutie marks would be. "How about tomorrow we try painting, singing, scooting on scooters, doing cool tricks, things like that?" The response was not what she was expecting.

"Yeah, I don't think so..."

"Maybe not..."

We should do somethin' other than that..."

Midnight shrugged. "If you say so. Now, we should all go home now. The sun is setting. And I have someone I need to meet."

---

"Wow..." Midnight was watching a mini meteor shower with Luna. Though it wasn't as great as the big one Twilight and her friends saw, she was still awestruck. "Could you teach me?"

Luna smiled. "Must thou lean everything? Thou knowest-"

"Luna!" Midnight interrupted.

"I mean, Do you need to know everything? You already know most of what I know." Luna quickly tried to correct her speech.

"Well, if I am going to rule the night by your side one day, I kinda need to lknow everything about it."

" 'Rule by my side'? Who said anything about you ruling by my side?" Luna was stunned. How could Midnight be thinking such things?

"I'm just kidding! But seriously, could you please teach me?" Midnight was very good at puppy-dog eyes.

"Fine."

---

"Good morning, class!" Ms. Cheerilee started the school day.

"Good morning, Ms. Cheerilee!" Not very many of the students said it. Actually, it was the crusaders and Diamond Tiara who said it. All the others were to bored and wanted spring break to last the rest of the year. It was hard to start again the Monday after spring break.

"Today I want you to choose somepony in your life who is very special to you. I want you to write a report about what they mean to you, and why. The reports will be due Wednesday."

Midnights ears perked up. She knew exactly who she was doing- Luna.

Comments

[Lady Lorelei]

This was cute.

Though your Oc could use some work., She is really a bit shallow as a character.

The Term Mary Sue is thrown around a bit., You might wish to round out Midnight with some flaws.

Perhaps not have her good at everything.

A non alicorn raising the sun?...is a bit pushing it.

You could also round her out as a character., let us see who she is on the inside, maybe her relationship with family, or something that sets her apart.

The way your Oc can turn out is endless!

Again with a bit of TLC your Oc can become more, just give it a few special touches.

I get busy myself quite a lot., but I do enjoy giving insight and help with character building.

if you'd like send me a pm., I can help you with building atop the cute foundation you have built for Midnight.

Also give a few tips on adding some detail to the scenes, settings and characters....Though with grammar that is my weak point, it's not horrible or anything just so you know.

[Midnight Glimmer 1213]

5877442 Hey, spoiler, but she is kinda the reason Luna changed. A portal opened up teleporting 2000 years into the past where she becomes Luna's twin. Becomes Nightmare Dusk.