Orhblin
Joined 12th Mar, 2013 ·
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- CherryCreampie · 1.4k words · 8 8 · 555 views
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>rape
Oh, god.
5409969 God can't help you now >:)
It was okay. Kind of an abrupt ending though, makes it feel like only half the fic got uploaded or something.
5409969 I didn't actually see how any of this was rape. Twilight didn't want to drink the sperm, but she was still doing it. She wasn't screaming or anything. Also, she seemed to enjoy giving head to that stallion. Maybe in the future chapters..
Oh.. And um the story. It could call for improvement. Perhaps a better editor because there were several grammar mistakes. Good story-line though.
5413623 I wrote it as a "slightly nonconsensual fic" mostly to prepare people for what was to come. I wouldn't personally classify it as being rape, but it's not entirely consensual on Twilights part.
All things considered, my editor is literally dyslexic. He's a good friend of mine, and mostly helped out with anything but grammar.
This fiction probably needs some looking into if it's to be optimal. It was written in a timespan of about 15 minutes late at night at about 2 am. It was a fun write though, and I very much appreciate the feedback :3
5413759 No problem. Just keep working at it and it can earn the featured box before you know it.
Also, tell your editor and friend I wish him the best.
5413609 I was written in a rush of sudden and spontaneous inspiration. The reason it falls short is because the general idea of the fiction was for twilight to swallow some spunk. I made the fellatio ending thing because it felt undone without twilight doing some actual action. I completely understand your meaning though, and appreciate the feedback and will try to build on it in the future :3
doubted she'd get a break
bring me the next cup
just tell us and we shall gladly serve it to you, provided you serve us that is"
weirdly at the bar
but was overpowered by her male counterpart.
At this point I stopped reading it.
7778185 Have fun looking for grammatically correct smut :V
I am king of Rome and above grammar
7779377
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