Chapter Three: Part Two
Chapter Three: Part Two
No, no, no, NO! It was all wrong! All wrong! He simply couldn't tolerate it anymore! Not only did it take far too long to cross that wasteland of dirt and sorry tasting grass (if one could even flatter it by saying as much of it), he now found himself in the middle of a swamp! He was no expert when it came to the geography of Equestria, but he was pretty sure that there was no swamp that he was supposed to pass through to get to his appointed location. Not only that, the little fungee ponees (he had tried to call them Fungai Ponies, but they INSISTED they were called 'fungee ponees') that had shown up after he had drank the swamp water had proven simply impossible to follow through this place! They giggled incessantly as he tired to follow them along the paths that they swore existed, but he often found his hooves sinking into the ground. They would swear up and down that this patch of earth or that tuff of grass (which was an odd shade of blue, when it wasn't hot pink, or boiling orange. Does orange boil? He wasn't aware colors could boil, and yet, here he was, looking at it) was firm enough to step on, but, lo and behold, his hoof would sink right through it. And then they would laugh as though it was the funniest thing they had ever seen.
He grumbled as he pulled his hoof out of the mud once more. It was easy enough for them. They were tiny. No larger then a Breezie, perhaps. Well, a bit larger. And some of them had toadstools for limbs. Which made walking across the swamp's floor rather easy for them, since they had caps for hooves. Those that didn't just had the odd mushroom growing out of their tiny bodies, and seemed to drift around in the air. Well, if nothing else, at least they were colorful. Well, most of them. Some of them were kind of brown, and one or two of them were all but pitch black. He also noted that some of them were rather … fuzzy.
Their intolerable giggling aside (as well as their rather strange smell), they were nice enough. After all, they did agree to help him navigate through this awful place. And he did have to admit that they were fairly adorable. Well, okay, some of them. Well, okay, one of them. Well … okay okay, plenty of them were fairly adorable, but there was one that was flat-out lovely to look at. Then again, it might have had to do with the spellbinding glow she gave off as she floated hither and thither. Or perhaps the vibrant colors of her coat and caps. Or perhaps it was the soft, melodic voice that she spoke with. Whatever it was, she was simply entrancing to watch. And it was she that lead him through the swamp. Well, she was on of many who were trying to helpful, but it was she he was following mostly. And while it would have been wiser to follow whoever was leading him along a more solid path, he simply couldn't take his eyes off of her.
So, okay, it may be partly his fault that he kept stepping into sinkholes and mud and whatever else. But could you blame him? Seriously, this little fungee ponee was something else. To his mind, this whole trip would have almost been worth it just to run into her. That said, he had an appointment to keep, and he was going to do whatever it took to keep it!
His mind drifted back to that letter. Why did he feel it was so important? After all, now that he thought on it, it never actually gave him an exact place or time to meet at. Nor, now that he thought about it, had it even said who had written it. In fact, aside from simply telling him that his services were urgently needed south of Appleloosa, and that he was needed immediately, there was no other information (the actual contents, were, in fact, slightly different, but since he no longer had the letter, time and memory had distorted what it said in his head). Nothing, save a strange, yet powerful, pull to answer the summons. He had no idea why in Equestria it was so very important, but something about that letter affected him in a way that nothing else had. He couldn't put his hoof on it, but it was something powerful indeed.
“Uh, don't you think you should, you know, follow Fluffy Funggy? She's walking across solid ground you know.” her ethereal voice knocked him from his thoughts.
“I'll be fine...” he said, in a voice that was a fair bit too dreamy.
“Well, you're about to st-”
Sploosh.
He had no idea that swamp … matter … could taste like that. But, given that he had just stepped into some kind of gooey swamp water-mush, and then face-planted into said substance, while drooling just a little, he got a first class sampling of the delicate dish.
It was simply awful.
He struggled to free himself of the horrid landscape, and after much graceful flopping about like a fish, he managed a modicum of success. Enough anyway so that his head was now above the swamp-goo and his hooves were on something somewhat solid (though he could feel it squirming slightly). He spat several times in an attempt to get the taste out. He was unsuccessful. “That was on purpose, I assure you!”
She giggled. “Are you okay? That stuff does some pretty funny stuff to ponies you know.” She turned to look at him. Goodness she was pretty...
“D-Do ponies come through here often?” he asked, a bit distracted by the smile that began beaming at him.
“Every once in a while. We get one who comes through here all the time. She's kinda funny. Always going on about magic or something like that.” she said as though reminiscing a fond memory.
“Well,” he grunted as he tried to pull one hoof out of the muck, “Magic is a very interesting topic. And,” he grunted once more as he yanked his hoof free from the muck, “I've often wished I had it for my studies.” he glanced about with hoof in air above him, looking to see if he could find a place to put it.
She glided gently to a nearby grassy knoll, and tapped it slightly with one hoof (did these things have proper hooves? He wasn't sure). Placing his hoof there, he pushed up, and freed his other front hoof, which he promptly placed on the same knoll.
“Thank you.” he said, panting slightly.
She simply smiled once more. “So, why are you coming through the swamp?”
“Well...” he started. Then he drew a blank. Why was he going through all of this? Why was he here? Wait... “Uh, excuse me,” he began, “But, uh, could you tell me where I am? I, uh, I'm afraid I simply don't know.”
The little fungee ponee looked at him with concern. “What's your name?” she asked.
H-He couldn't recall. “I-I don't know!”
“Oh no! Not another one!” she suddenly said in alarm.
“What, what do you mean?” he asked, rather concerned. He didn't know who, or what it was that he was talking to, but the fact that she looked so worried had him worried.
“This happens sometimes! The goo you ate, sometimes it makes some ponies forget everything!” she said, as she hovered up to his face. She looked between his eyes, as if hoping to see something in them. “Oh no, not you too!”
“What do you mean, 'not me too'? We've only just met, right?” He was suddenly unsure. Perhaps she was a long-time friend, or perhaps some sort of guardian that he had forgotten about.
“Well, it's just that... Listen, we've got to get you to the Hydra! They'll know what to do!” she squeaked as she looked around at the other little creatures like her. He too looked, and saw mixed faces of fear, agreement, and even one 'u be cray-cray!' face.
“The Hydra? Sounds interesting! Which way?” he had no idea what a 'the Hydra' was, but based on the looks the others gave in reaction, it looked like this 'the Hydra' was an interesting thing indeed!
“They're over this way, come on!” she said, floating away from him and off to the right. “Be careful! If you step in anymore of that goo, you'll forget how to think!”
Forgetting how to think? What an interesting idea! He wanted to give it a shot, but thought that perhaps it was unwise to do so. So, hopping from the patch of ground that his forehooves rested upon, he lept to the patch of ground that the little one now hovered over. “Made it!” he exclaimed excitedly. “Now then, after you... what was your name again?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
She frowned. “We don't really have names.” she said.
“Well, what about Fluffy Fungee? She had a name.” He said.
“You can remember that, but not where you are or your name?” she asked, looking at him curiously.
Huh. Interesting. “That is rather strange. Isn't it?” he mused.
She giggled. “Normally the goo doesn't affect ponies like this. The ones with horns forget things and the ones with wings get all silly and giggly. Usually ones like you aren't too bothered by this stuff. If anything, they just get all clumsy and trip all over everything!” She then frowned. “But that's not what happening to you. That's really kinda weird.”
“So about that name?” He insisted.
“Huh? Fluffy Fungee? It's just a nick-name.” she shrugged.
“I see. So you don't have proper names, just nick-names that you give each other. Fascinating. So do you just call each other by your nick-names?” he looked around at the various other small things like her. Most of them had stopped moving and now were looking at him curiously, almost as if they were expecting him to do something.
She shook her head. “No, we have a bunch of nick-names that we just kinda move around. That Fluffy Fungee won't always have that nick-name.”
“Really? Is that so? Facinating. Then how do you tell each other apart?” he asked.
She looked at him as though he had asked something truly odd. “By our spores of course. What else could we need?”
He looked at her partly aghast, partly overwhelmed with curiosity. “Your spo-”
“I got it!” she suddenly said, startling him slightly (and interrupting his question for good measure), “We'll give you a nick-name until we can get you all fixed up!”
“That would work!” he replied, suddenly excited by the idea. “But what? Slippy-Slimy-Grimy-Wimey isn't the most flattering of names.”
“Humm...” she said, placing a thoughtful forelimb to her tiny chin. “Too bad you don't have anything on you, we could use that as something to call you by.”
Wait, something came to him. “H-hold on. I think I do actually!” he looked himself up and down. He didn't have any saddlebags, and there were no pouches that he could see. So, what was it and where was it?
“There's something poking out of the top of his neck!” one of the tiny ones shouted.
“Is there?” he asked, reaching a hoof to his mane. He felt something poke his hoof. “Well I'll be! There is!” He grabbed it and pulled it out. It looked like a long, thin, hollow twig or something. It was straight, and was very light. “What is it?” he asked, turning it over and over.
“It's paper!” shouted another little one.
“Paper?” he asked, looking at it confused.
“Yeah, paper. You ponies use it to write things so you won't forget...” she trailed off as the two of them suddenly looked at each other.
“Great Scott! Do you think this has my name on it?! Or why I'm here?” he asked, rather excited by this 'paper'. He looked it up and down, but couldn't figure it out for the life of him. “Uh, how does this work?” he asked.
The one he'd been talking to floated over to it. “Put it over there, on that rock.” she pointed. He did so. “Okay, so I think it works like this...” she rolled it over, and placed one tiny appendage under what looked to be an opening. She then pushed the whole thing to the side, and he watched, with great awe, as the round thing suddenly became flat. It was covered in all sorts of strange things. Things that he couldn't make heads or tales of.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice full of marvel.
“I think it's a PhD” she said.
“A what?” he asked. What a ridiculous word! Did he hear her right?
“A PhD. We had a pony once, a long time ago, come through here who was waving one around. She was very proud of it. She showed it to us and tried to get us to read it. But most of us have no idea how to read.” she explained, looking at the 'PhD'. He saw as her tiny head kept moving back and forth, almost as though her eyes were following something that was running across the paper.
“But, I take you know how to do this 'read' thing?” he guessed.
“Kinda.” she shrugged. “Hum.... Wow, this has nothing.” she said.
“What do you mean, nothing?! There's stuff all over it!” he pointed an impatient hoof at it.
“Well, I mean, it doesn't have your name on it! It just says 'Mr. Hooves'.”
“Is that my name?” he asked.
“I hope not!” she hook her head. “That would be a terrible name for a pony!” She looked the paper over again. “You know...” she paused, deep in thought. “I just remembered something. That pony with the PhD. She kept calling herself 'Doctor', over and over again.”
“Well then,” he grinned, “Then call me Doctor!”
*****
Bon-Bon was stunned. How? How was this possible? Lyra changed. Why didn't she? She didn't feel a burn, or a buzz, or even a taste! It was like she drank water! “WHAT? What happened?!” her eye began twitching violently.
“Woah, easy Bon-Bon. You don't want a second eye patch.” Lyra said, attempting to calm her down.
She took a few breaths. “Yes, yes. You are right. Still, what happened?” she looked over at Berry.
“I-I don't know...” Berry said, her jaw hanging in surprise. She wasn't the only one. Colgate too was clearly perplexed as to what just happened.
Did she do it right? Did she not drink enough? Bon-Bon looked down at the bottle once more. It looked the same it always has, though it was missing a little bit of the liquid. “I, I guess I'll try again.” she said, and put the bottle to her lips, and began chugging.
“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Lyra began chanting, causing Bon-Bon to almost gag in surprise. She should have seen that coming, she really should have. But chugged she did. She chugged the whole thing.
And still nothing. Not even a bit of taste.
“What am I doing wrong?!” Bon-Bon asked, pulling the bottle away from her and looking at it once more. Sure enough, it was still the same, though a bit more completely empty then it had been a few moments before.
“I-I don't get it. You should have changed.” Berry said.
“I know, right?” Lyra said, rather amused (much to Bon-Bon's annoyance).
All three of them shot her unamused looks. If Lyra had shoulders, she would have shrugged them and smiled.
“Wait, hold on,” Colgate said, “near as we can tell, that bottle makes you the opposite of what you really want to be, right?”
“I think so.” Said Berry.
“And Bon-Bon changed because she wanted ponies to stop thinking that she was a commando, right?” Colgate was clearly following a line of thought, one that Bon-Bon was pretty sure she could see the end of.
“So, now that she really wants to be one...” Berry trailed off as the other three turned and looked at her.
“It … won't change me...” Bon-Bon finished the thought.
There was a pause. The wind blew. A tumbleweed rolled past them.
And then Lyra bust out laughing.
“THAT'S HILARIOUS!” she cried out, after falling over onto her side, wings flapping out of control. So hard had she begun to laugh that her form had become unstable and she began changing to all sorts of random things. She was a duck, then a coat hanger, then a glass of wine, then a bowling ball, then a truck, then a flag pole, just to list a few.
In all honesty, Bon-Bon had lost track of all of the things Lyra was changing into, and she couldn't even recognize some of them. Though she was pretty sure she saw herself (with Lyra's colors) for a moment there. Be that as it may, Bon-Bon found this whole thing much less funny then she did. “LYRA HEARTSTRINGS,” Bon-Bon bellowed, “THIS IS NOT FUNNY!”
“LIKE HAY IT AN'T!” She cried, still rolling around, when it was physically possible to do so.
“Lyra! We are talking about-oh never mind!” Bon-Bon made a dismissive gesture towards her and turned to Colgate and Berry. Lyra usually knew when it was time to be serious, but every once in a while, she would simply loose her composer, and there was nothing to be done but wait it out. “Anyway, what should we do now? I can't seem to change anymore.”
Berry and Colgate looked at each other, and shrugged. Colgate looked back at Bon-Bon, “I'm not sure. I mean, we have to keep moving forward, so I guess we should just keep going and hope for the best.”
“That's a stupid plan, but I will agree it is better then sitting around here doing nothing.” Bon-Bon grumbled.
“Oh you're just mad that you can't go all commando!” Lyra jabbed, having finally calmed down, and once again the giant winged … thing.
It was true, though not because she wanted to be a commando. It was because it made the most tactical sense, and like that, she had abilities they might need. After all, at the end of the day, all she's ever wanted was to bee seen as a perfectly normal pony, with a perfectly normal life. True, it wasn't true that she had a normal life, but it was a life she yearned for. A quiet life with a steady place to live and work. Perhaps live above her own little store. Yeah, that would be nice...
“You know Lyra, if that stuff really does change you into the opposite of what you really want, what in Equestria do you want?” Colgate asked, turning to Lyra.
“Huh? Oh, well...” Lyra began, “That's a funny story you see … because what I want isn't actually in Equestria...”
“Wait? Really?” Berry said.
Bon-Bon knew where this was going. “Don't ask her about it. Trust me, you're best not knowing.”
“Aww! Come on Bon-Bon!” Lyra whined.
“No. It's strange enough that this happens to you. There is no need to make it any weirder.”
Lyra huffed. “Fine. But it still makes sense that I can become everything but what I want. It's actually kinda funny, don't you think?”
“I guess so...” Berry said.
“You know, now that we're talkin' bout this, why do you become a stallion Berry?” Lyra asked.
Berry seemed a bit taken aback by the question. Well, more surprised then taken aback. “Uh, well...” she seemed like she was caught completely off guard by the question.
“Yes?” Lyra asked, leaning towards her. Colgate too leaned a bit, and Bon-Bon suddenly couldn't help but suddenly realize that she too was slightly off balance.
“I think it's because, well...” she looked a bit embarrassed.
“Yeeeessss?” Lyra insisted.
“It's kinda dumb.” Berry looked away.
“Annnnd?” Lyra pressed.
“I think it's because, well, I think it's because I like myself exactly like I am. So, I guess the bottle just kinda turns me into the opposite of what I am. Well, I don't like the part where I'm usually drunk, not anymore anyway. But I'm guessing that's why I become a stallion.” Berry said, blushing a bit.
“Oh.” Lyra said, clearly a bit disappointed. “So, what's with the part where you look like the dream pony for anypony looking at you?”
Berry shook her head, “I have no idea.”
Perhaps it's because you're lonely.” Colgate said with thoughtful hoof on chin.
“H-HEY!” Berry said, her face becoming rather crimson.
“What?” Colgate asked, looking a bit confused that Berry had shouted at her.
“That's not something you just tell ponies!” she said, clearly embarrassed and a bit upset.
Colgate blinked a couple of times. Then something clicked. “Oh, shoot. Uh, sorry Berry! I was just thinking out loud! I didn't mean to say it like that!” Now it was Colgate's turn to blush with embarrassment.
“So wouldn't that mean the drink would make you repulsive?” Bon-Bon ventured.
“Yeah, you'd think it would.” Lyra said.
“Yeah, I guess you're right.” Berry said, putting a thoughtful hoof to her chin.
“Then perhaps the drink picks and chooses?” Colgate offered.
“That would insinuate that it is intelligent.” Bon-Bon said, holding up the bottle to look at it once more. It was a scary thought, but, she had to admit, one that made sense. That would explain why it acted the way it did. And if it was intelligent, could it be communicated with?
“I, uh, don't want to think about that. Let's just get going, okay?” Berry said.
“Agreed.” Bon-Bon said, hoofing the bottle back to Berry. “We have a swamp to cross, and we are not going to cross it standing here.”
And with nods all around (save Lyra, who currently lacked a head to nod with), the four of them departed east, along an old route that Bon-Bon knew would lead directly into Hayseed Swamp.
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
600 users online
912,377 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
*Deep Breath*
But seriously, this was great chapter and you're making good time! I eagerly await the next update, so keep up the good work!
Typo Bonus Round
Oh nooooooo! I loosed my compooooser! Nooooooo!
*Deeper Breath*
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953/953/77/scootaloo_pianoheadsmashlarge_display.gif
I don't really have anything for that.
Other than this.
33.media.tumblr.com/bce0bea3776b1a6729ebdd2c1eabf8f8/tumblr_n1scawhjGn1tqx40mo1_500.gif
But that's about it this chapter.
6123036
Well, this chapter was written, in part, before 100. But, I will be fully honest when I say that the dialogue that involved him was written after the fact, and since I was already not far from the char that we saw, I figured why not just slam the nail on the coffin and call it good?
I often let my composer loose. I feel it is good to let it run about in the sun before I drop it into an ice bucket. Not a nice prank, I'll admit, but it's fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc
6123666
Actually, I haven't seen episode 100 yet.
6124329
Oh. I see.
Well then. You have something to look forward to, yes you do.
6127300
Well, Tumblr, Youtube, and FimFiction have spoiled quite a bit without me even trying. I may have to wait until I forget these spoilers, but I do believe the episode will be just as great as everyone says.
Mmmm, yes, it is sure to be a most...arousing episode.
data3.whicdn.com/images/32945689/large.gif