The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter One, Part Four

Part 4

Berry had miscalculated how long the effects of the drink would last. He thought that perhaps it would wear off in a few minutes, an hour tops. But, sadly for him, it was still going strong several hours later. The sun was beginning to set, though that meant little in the Everfree. All light seemed to vanish the moment anypony set foot in it. Glancing about somewhat nervously, he began to question the wisdom of his drinking that brew.

"Berry," Colgate began, turning to look at him. She suddenly blushed and looked away. "So, you said that drink had both Poison Joke and Heart's Desire in it, right?"

"Yeah, it did." Berry still had trouble getting used to that deep, coltly voice. Was it weird to feel attracted to one's own voice?

"What exactly does that do? Last I checked, I thought they did opposite things." Colgate asked, looking both a bit confused and curious as she tried to not look at Berry.

"Uh, well," Berry wasn't much of an alchemist. Well, he was when it came to drinks, but outside of that, it was usually Zecora who was the know-it-all. In fact, she had warned against the idea of mixing the two. "Not really. One just plays a practical joke on you and the other gives you what your heart desires. Mixed together, I suppose they would give you the opposite of what your heart wants." he answered, ducking his handsome head under a low branch.

"So, wait..." Colgate started, before slamming into something. She took a few steps back and shook her head. What was it with her and running into things lately?

"It is best to keep your eyes on the road. At least, that is what I have been told," came a familiar voice. Focusing her eyes, she saw the face of a confused zebra looking back at her.

"Oh, hey! Didn't see you there Zecora!" Colgate piped up cheerfully.

"It would seem you did not. Perhaps you ought to keep your eyes ahead of you as you have been taught." She responded with a small smile. "But of little importance that is my dear filly, for I wish to know, who is this big Billy?" she asked, her eyes seeming to bounce between being filled with little hearts and disgust.

"Uh...well..." Colgate started, not sure how to answer. She was sure that if she told Zecora who it was, she would be furious.

"Wheat Brew, at your service! Traveling pony potions salespony extraordinaire!" He said, beaming a huge grin. Colgate's mouth dropped. What in the name of Equestria was he-she-Berry doing?! "And I have to say, you are even more then I could have imagined!" He gave such a winning smile that Colgate was sure that a casino would go bankrupt just looking at him.

Zecora simply blinked at him. "You say you travel from near and far, and yet, the fact that I recognize that cutie mark I find to be most bizarre. Are you sure you are not sick, or my eyes you aim to trick?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Go ahead miss. You'll see I'm as genuine as any stallion or mare you could set your eyes on!" His charisma was almost unbearable. The only thing keeping Colgate from demanding he take all of her bits was the fact that she knew that this was indeed Berry.

Hesitantly, Zecora made her way over to 'Wheat', and slowly circled him. As she looked him up and down, she kept one eyebrow raised at all times. "Genuine you seem to be, but the recognizable cutie mark still puzzles me." She simply shook her head. "It seems you seek to speak with me, what matter of business would it be? Do you seek flowers and recipes both bold and exotic? Or do you seek simply to make a profit?" She was not one to waste time it seemed.

“Not quite! My dear, rather, I have come to share trade secrets! You see, I've managed to make a fine brew that almost nopony can resist!” No ... He wasn't going to do what Colgate thought he was going to do, was he? “Now, I'm not going to try and sell it to you. Oh no no. You are far beyond that, rather, I wanted to share in a drink with a master of the craft! Nothing more then a friendly drink.” His words were as smooth as crimson silk, as sweet as a honey glaze, and as alluring as a siren's song.

Colgate never did quite close her jaw from when it first dropped. So she was a bit surprised to find it still open when she tried to drop it again. He was...he was going to try and get her to drink some of that crazy brew! Wait, when did he even bring some? He didn't have any saddle ba-

“And here it is Miss, the drink in question!” he said as he reached behind him and seemed to pull a bottle out of thin air. How...? Suddenly, her horror turned to curiosity. Did the brew do that? Did it somehow allow him to create more on the spot, or to store it in some unseen place, or perhaps teleport it? She knew he didn't have any on him when they left. And while she wanted to warn Zecora, she was suddenly filled with a desire to know what would happen if Zecora took a drink. So, she closed her jaw, sat down, and watched.

Zecora didn't seem very amused, but reaching into one of the saddle bags she had on, she produced a water-skin. Pouring it out, she then held it up to 'Wheat'. Taking the bottle in his hooves and removing the cork, he poured a little into it, gave the skin back to her, and then held his bottle in the air as if to offer cheers. Zecora's snout wrinkled a bit as she took a sniff of her water-skin. She paused for a moment. “What is in this drink? It has something of an odd stink.”

“Mostly local herbs actually. Ponyville has some of the best, so I often order directly from there to make some of my potions.”

“You call this a potion? It smells worse then beetle dung lotion!” she snapped.

“Erm, well, it might also be a bit of a party drink, if you catch my meaning.” he responded.

Her eyes narrowed a bit, she was clearly suspicious. Never-the-less, he flashed another winning smile, and with a roll of her eyes, Zecora put the skin to her lips and took a drink. She nearly spat it out, and she coughed quite a bit as it made its way down. She stuck her tongue out and made a face that clearly said she found the drink revolting. Looking at the skin with a scrunched face, she opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly dropped the thing. Her eyes went wide. She twitched once, twice.

“What...What did you...” she began, when all at once a massive horn sprouted from her forehead and a huge pair of majestic wings sprouted from her back. Stumbling from the sudden addition of bizarre appendages, she tripped, and planted her new horn right into the ground. Flailing about, the wings gave a huge flap, which sent her flying high into the air and out of sight. Not long after, they heard the sound of a distant crash, followed by many, many words they did not understand. Berry's face cracked open with a smile as he begun to laugh.

“THAT WAS AMAZING!” Came a shout from somewhere. The voice surprised both Berry and Colgate, causing them both to jump in the air and suddenly hug each other out of surprise.

“SHUT UP! DO YOU WANT THEM TO FIND US?!” came another shout, followed by the sounds of rustling.

“But did yo-” the question was cut off. Berry and Colgate looked around. There! Just a little ways behind them, two figures were hiding in the trees.

“We-We-” Colgate stammered, “We know you're there! Come out!”

The figures stirred, but little else. Colgate recognized the voices, but couldn't quite recall who's they were. However, her finely trained dentists' nose picked up their breaths. The one smelled of sweets and baked goods. The other smelled of...

“I know it's you, Bon-Bon, Lyra!” Colgate shouted.

“Aw man...” came Lyra's voice.

“I told you we'd get caught sooner or later!” growled Bon-Bon.

The two of them stepped out of the forest and onto the path, both looking a bit sheepish. Colgate did have to hand it to them. They had turned out to be surprisingly good at sneaking behind them. They hadn’t heard a sound from them.

“What in Equestria brings you two out here?” Colgate demanded. Her voice becoming that adorable squeak again.

“Well...” Lyra began, her eyes drifting to Berry, who was still in a two-way hug-a-thon with Colgate. “Uh, I..uh...” she trailed off. She wasn't full sure herself why they had followed them out here. Something about Berry made her feel very confused, and yet... “We, uh, wanted to make sure you guys would be alright! You know, what with you guys just wondering off into the Everfree like that. Safety in numbers, am I right?” She put a large innocent smile on her face. Hers was the only one however. Both Berry and Colgate looked at her with looks that said, 'Really? You can do better than that.' Even Bon-Bon's face had a look of disbelief.

“Uh huh...” Colgate responded. “So you decided that the best way to do that was by sneaking behind us?”

“Ermm” Lyra's face shrank a little. She turned to Bon-Bon with a look that pleaded for help. However, she simply frowned, and shook her head.

“I'm just following you to make sure you don't get yourself killed or something.” Bon-Bon said to Lyra.

It was about this time Colgate was aware that she and Berry were still holding each other. With a light tap on his back, she whispered “Berry? Mind letting go?” Berry looked down, and both promptly untangled their limbs (but not without a wee bit of blushing).

Lyra looked back at them. “Uh, ummm...” and then with fake emotion said, “Oh alright! You got me! I just wanted to see what would happen if I-erm-Bon-Bon here took a drink of that stuff!”

“Hey!” came Bon-Bon's objection.

“I mean, look at what it did to Berry!” She said, pointing at the mighty stallion. The other two turned their heads to look. And suddenly poor Berry felt very odd. All three of them stared at him, for a few moments too long.

“*Ahem!*” He cleared his throat loudly. That seemed to do the trick as the other three snapped back to attention.

“Huh? Right!” Lyra's attention suddenly coming back. “So anyway, like, what would happen if we all took a swig? I mean, I'd bet it would be so cool! Not to mention that I might become a...”

“No.” Said Bon-Bon.

“Agreed.” Said Colgate. “You all have bad enough breath as is, you don't need some 'party drink,'” she glowered at Berry who simply smiled, “to make it worse. In fact, the whole reason we're doing this is because...” She paused, then stood upon her hind legs, threw her front ones wide open in a grandiose gesture, then shouted, “The Lost Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters is the only thing powerful enough to finally end the tyrannical reign of bad breath in Berry's mouth!” Had she been Trixie, there would have been a grand round of lightning and fireworks. Sadly, she was not. So the only thing to accompany her proclamation was the distant sound of another crash followed by more strange, yet angry words. Feeling slightly embarrassed, she went back to all fours and blushed a little. “So, uh, anyway. That's why we're doing this.”

Berry nodded in agreement. The other two stood there with blank faces.

“Well, it's getting' dark. You said we needed to get through the forest Colgate?” Berry asked to break the silence.

“No, We need to get to some old ruins. Supposedly the will be a book with the location of the toothbrush there. And by the looks of it, we may need to spend the night there. Come on Berry, let's go.” And with that, Colgate began moving forward once more. Her eye twitched however when she realized that Berry wasn't the only one following her. Throwing an irritated glance over her shoulder, she saw the other two following behind Berry, staring at him with the strangest looks. As badly as she wanted to lose them, she did figure that Lyra at least did have a point about traveling with numbers. At least it would be good to have another level-headed pony along. She and Bon-Bon could at least keep each other sane.

Now, these had been her thoughts as she walked along. As it was however, she never actually finished them. In fact, she had gotten about as far as 'it would be goo-' before her thoughts were rudely interrupted. Had she been paying the attention she ought to have been (and as Zecora had advised), she would have noticed the cliff before her. As it was, she had not.

Luckily, she had happened to choose the spot where she fell over the edge wisely. Rather then plummet to the ground to become a gooey paste with which to clean one's teeth, she found herself stumbling and falling head over hoof down an ancient set of stairs.

Had the others been paying attention as well, they would have seen this. As it was, they had become too busy chatting with each other to notice Colgate's trip down the stairs. However, they were slightly more aware of where they were going, and their conversation came to an abrupt halt as Berry very nearly stepped over the cliff wall himself. He stopped quite suddenly, and raised a leg to stop the other two. “Hold up, there's a cliff here.” Berry said, looking at them.

“What the? Why is there a huge ravine?” Lyra asked, a bit surprised and irritated.

“I think it might have something to do with that.” Bon-Bon answered, pointing a hoof straight ahead. The other two looked up, and saw what she was pointing at.

Before them lay the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters...

Author's Note:

I bet the place looks right an' purtty at night.

That or all kinds of spooky.

Comments

[redmar]

The part with Zecora was funny and I liked the mention of Trixie.