The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter Three: Part Eight

Chapter Three: Part Eight

“Now that you ask, Ms. Pennyfeather, yes. Yes I do know a little something about a toothbrush that is both lost and legendary. Why do you ask?” the queen asked as she tilted her head slightly.

“Well, so, there's this friend of mine. Her name's Colgate, and she kinda needs it bad to help out another friend.” Lyra said far too casually.

“Is that so? And what would she need it for?” the queen raised an eyebrow.

“So, I got this buddy, well, kinda a friend I guess, and she's got really bad breath. Like, we're talking wilting flowers bad! I don't think she's ever brushed teeth, like, ever!” Lyra exclaimed.

“Is that so? Is there something so wrong with not brushing one's teeth?” the queen responded, smiling slightly.

“What?” Lyra blinked a few times.

“My people never brushed their teeth. And yet, we survived as a civilization. In fact, I was unaware that brushing one's teeth was and idea until recently. Yet, you do not seem bothered by this fact.” The queen said, perhaps ever so smugly. “Would not the scent of my breath offend you?”

“Uh, we're in a dream. Your dream.” Lyra pointed out.

“Oh.” The queen put a hoof to her mouth and her eyes opened a little more, “Good point.”

“So, really? Never? You guys always had bad breath?” Lyra asked.

The queen shook her head. “If we did, we didn't know. I suspect that since we knew nothing different, we simply didn't notice.” she shrugged.

“Ewww.” Lyra said, her face squishing a bit.

The queen looked at her unamused. “And what if I told you that we didn't take baths either?” she asked with a deadpan expression.

“Wait, really? That's so gross!” Lyra's tongue stuck out as her face contorted with disgust.

The queen laughed. “Well, rest assured, we did do that.” She giggled a few more times, then smiled slightly. “So, you asked about a toothbrush?”

“Yeah, you know about it?” Lyra took a seat in the air.

The queen gave her a bemused look. “It just so happens that I do. In fact, I've had it ever since you and your friend paid me a little visit.”

“Wait, really?” Lyra was rather surprised.

“Indeed. Though it would be more accurate to say that I've always had it, but didn't know that until the two of you caused the collapse of my reception chamber.” she smiled.

Lyra laughed awkwardly. “Yeah… sorry about that. Sweetie Drops doesn't like spiders very much.”

“It is no problem, Ms. Pennyfeather. Had your friend not caused the ceiling to cave in, I would have never of known that the brush was hidden in the stones above my head.” she smiled. “Though, I will admit, it was quite the mess to clean. And I fear it put my friends into a foul mood.” she made a sweeping motion around her, pointing to the many spiders that surrounded them.

“Really? That sucks. Are they feeling better now?” Lyra asked, looking around the chamber. The spiders that had been so adorable the moment before suddenly turned to look at her and hissed at her with oversized fangs. A rather disconcerting sight it was.

“I fear not.” the queen shook her head.

“Bummer.” Lyra pulled away from the wall, leery of the spiders that now leered at her. “So, can we have it?” she asked,

The queen blinked a few times, then laughed merrily. “Ms. Pennyfeather! You must be the only pony I've ever known who would be so forward so as to ask a queen to simply give you something! You have some gall!” she laughed some more, then wiped a tear from her eye. “But, I think, that is why I like you Ms. Pennyfeather. That, and you are the only pony I know who'd have the audacity to give me a fake name upon first meeting me.” she smiled.

“What? No! That's totally my name! Miss Bonnie Pennyfeather!” Lyra smiled.

“If you say so, Ms. Lyra.” the queen smiled back. “Though, I will be honest, Ms. Pennyfeather is a bit more fun to say.”

Lyra's head sunk and she pouted a bit. “How'd you figure it out?”

“Well, I may have heard your friend shout out your name as the two of you escaped my collapsing home.” she shrugged.

“Oh.” Lyra said simply.

“To answer you about your toothbrush, I'm afraid you can't.” The queen shook her head sadly.

“What!? Why?!” she cried.

“Because I recently gave it to another pony who came by here not an hour before you showed up.” the queen shrugged.

“WHAT?!” Lyra cried, causing the spiders to hiss at her again.

“I'm afraid so. He came to my home, gave me a small tonic, and then asked for the brush in return.” she nodded, pleased with the memory.

“A tonic? What, are you sick?” Lyra asked, a bit surprised an ancient queen would need something like that.

She laughed again. “No, I can't say I am. No, it was a tonic a friend of mine made for me. Its purpose is to sooth the mind and relax the body. After all, I only just recently finished repairing my home, and I fear I was feeling a bit stressed by the whole thing. Now that I think about it, I wonder if that's why I'm asleep? It wouldn't surprise me, after all, he's quite good with potions and other such things. Very polite too. Though, I am glad that I had decided to give that toothbrush to him. I didn't really have much else to offer for his help, and he is not one for being overly gentle when it comes to not reciving payment you see.” she smiled and shook her head slightly.

“So, who did you give it to?” Lyra asked.

“Oh?” she looked over at her. “Oh! That's easy! His name was-”

*****

“LYRA!” Bon-Bon shouted as the world suddenly came to Lyra's eyes all at once. It was as though her mind had just crashed through wall after concrete wall, only to end up staring up at a blinding spotlight. Needless to say, her head hurt quite a bit. There was also a very strange taste in her mouth.

“She LIVES!” a strange voice declared.

“Lyra, are you alright?” Colgate's voice came from nearby.

“How do you feel?” a beautifully deep, colty, and oh-so-robust voic-Berry drank it again, didn't she?

“My head feels like Berry's sitting on it.” she moaned.

“Hey!” Berry objected. “I don't weigh that much!”

“I'd bet you do while you're a stallion.” Lyra commented, closing her eyes in pain.

Unbeknownst to her, Berry blushed when she said that. “H-how did you know?”

“Really?” Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Colgate all said in unison. Berry cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah, so, you alright?” He asked.

“Kinda. I just need a minute.” Lyra slummed over to her side. This was the second time that she'd found herself in a position like this recently. She never was fond of doctors or anything like them. Not that they were bad ponies or anything like that, but half the time the cure felt worse then the problem! Then there was the part about all of that paperwork, and having to wait in the office, and they never have anything good to read, and so on and so forth. It was all a big hassle that seemed hardly worth the effort.

She opened her eyes once more. Now that she was no longer being blinded by a light that shined directly into her eyes, she saw that she lay on a 'dry' patch of grass, and that she was now looking at the legs of a pony she didn't recognize. She as wearing quite the dress, It was very clear that whoever it was, was obsessed with fashion.

“Soon, you shall feel, FANTASTIC!” a thickly accented voice cried from above her.

“I'm glad you're alright!” Bon-Bon said, grabbing Lyra and giving her a hug. Bad idea.

“B-BON-BON!” Lyra cried as a rush of pain flooded her head.

“ACH! No! Do not touch her so soon! Die medicine! It needs time!” the accented voice shouted.

“Oh, sorry Lyra!” Bon-Bon said, letting go of her. Thankfully, somepony was quick on their hooves, and caught Lyra's head with her magic just before it slammed into the ground.

“Bon-Bon, are you okay? You're not normally this careless.” Colgate said.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine. I mean, I am well. I am merely concerned for Lyra. We are friends after all.” Bon-Bon had collected herself once more, but Lyra knew better. Whatever had happened to Lyra, it had shaken up Bon-Bon pretty good. Without even looking at her, she knew that Bon-Bon was trembling, even if she had put on a calm face.

“So touching! So moving! Ach! If only I was a poet!” the voice came again. “But no! I, Photo Finish, the greatest fashion photographer to ever live, am an artist!”

Wait, did she say Photo Finish? THE Photo Finish?

Ug…

You see, Lyra enjoyed looking good as much as the next pony. She even appreciated the odd fashion now and again. After all, looking good was rather nice, and it was nice looking at ponies who looked good. Photo Finish however, took that whole idea to a level that Lyra simply couldn't stand. She was up there with the top of the top. The cream of the crop. The ponies who were so completely full of themselves, that they thought the world revolved around them. Then again, Lyra never did think very highly of those on top. They had a tendency to look down.

That said, what in Equestria was she doing in a swamp?

“Thanks again, Photo Finish.” Colgate said. “Those potions you brought were a big help.”

Potions? Wait…

“Think nothing of it! My beloved was more then happy to help. Come, I take you to him!” Photo said, and Lyra saw her legs sharply turn around, and begin marching off.

“Shouldn't we wait for Lyra to recover?” Bon-Bon asked.

“We did!” Photo shouted back, not breaking her stride.

As if on cue, Lyra's body suddenly flooded with energy and her head cleared like a spring of fresh water. In fact, it had been awhile since she felt this good. Even most of the pain she was in was either dulled, or completely gone. She wasn't sure what it was that they had given her, but she sure liked it!

“Hey! She's right!” Lyra cried, springing to her hooves. “I feel pretty good!” She looked all around her, smiling. What had been a day of bright agony, now became a day beautiful day of light, liberty, and the pursuit of Photo Finish (mostly because she'd begun to walk out of eyesight by this point)! The other three looked at her with surprise, and Bon-Bon's face quickly turned to one of unbridled happiness (though to the others it looked as though nothing changed in her flat expression). She paused a moment as the others stared at her. “Uh, shouldn't we be following her?” Lyra asked, pointing a hoof towards where Photo had gone. The others jumped slightly, still a bit surprised that she was moving about so easily.

“Y-yes. Yes we should.” Bon-Bon said, turning around and following after Photo.

“Wait, we should?” Berry asked, looking rather surprised at the suggestion.

“Yeah., remember? Photo said she knew of somepony who could help us find the spot on the map we're looking for.” Colgate said.

“Uh, mind filling me in guys?” Lyra said. “I don't really remember much after Bon-Bon and I started clobbering each other.”

“Sure, we can walk and talk.” Colgate said as she turned to follow after Bon-Bon. Lyra fell in step next to her, and Berry took up the rear as the lot of them followed after Bon-Bon.

“So, what exactly happened?” Lyra asked.

“Well, so, I patched up Bon-Bon, and Berry here,” she pointed her head behind her, “tried to patch you up. Didn't work out so well.”

“Hey! I did the best I could! Not my fault that the only thing I had on me was that drink.” Berry objected. Lyra looked back at his incredibly dreamy face, which was blushing with embarrassment.

“So, you can probably guess what happened next.” Colgate said.

“I got plastered?” Lyra asked.

Colgate nodded. “So, since magic and alcohol don't mix well, I sedated you.”

“Then she and Bon-Bon ran off into the woods and left me with foalsitting duty...” Berry grunted.

“So, you got bored and had a drink?” Lyra smirked.

“No!” Berry shouted, surprising both Lyra and Colgate. He looked between the two of them quickly, then off to the side. “Sorry, it's just that I really didn't want to drink it again.”

“So why did you?” Lyra asked.

“I'm not sure. It just kinda happened. I saw you drink some of the swamp water, and I guess I just kinda panicked.” Berry said softly. “Anyway, that's about when I ran off to find Bon-Bon and Colgate here.”

“So you just kinda left me alone?” Lyra raised an eyebrow.

“Well, ye-no! You started talking like you having a conversation, and when I realized that you were actually seeing things, I ran off to find Colgate here for help. I don't know much about magic, so I was hoping that Colgate might know what to do.” Berry looked over at Colgate, who looked at him, blushed, then looked away.

Colgate cleared her throat. “Anyway, so Bon-Bon and I ran into Photo in the swamp and when she saw how injured Bon-Bon was, she ran off to find her coltfriend. Apparently, he's a doctor or something. That's about when Berry showed up telling us that you were seeing visions. So I ran back here, while Berry here gave Bon-Bon a ride. When I showed up, you were going on about stars and spiders. I, uh, had no idea what to do...” Colgate admitted rather bashfully.

“Soooo?” Lyra leaned her head forward a little.

“Uh, we did nothing. We just kinda sat there, and watched you until Photo showed up.” Colgate did not seem proud to admit this fact. Lyra was actually kinda surprised. Then again, what could they have done? “So, anyway, Photo showed up with two potions. She gave one to Bon-Bon, who was back on her hooves in no time, and then Bon-Bon practically shoved the other one down your throat.”

“That explai-THE BRUSH! I've got to tell you guys what happened!” Lyra suddenly shouted, causing everypony to suddenly stop and turn to look at her.

“Huh?” Colgate asked, suddenly a bit leery.

“Long story short: Princess Luna sent me to speak to that spider queen Bon-Bon and I met. Turns out, she's had the brush this whole time! But the thing is, she gave it to somepony, and I woke up right when she was about to tell me who it was!” Lyra said rather quickly, almost panicking.

“Did you get the name?!” Bon-Bon shouted from up ahead.

“No! That's what I just said!” Lyra shouted back.

“Wait, what about the map?” Berry asked.

“Hey! That might work!” Colgate said as she lifted a hoof into the air, causing it to POOF into existence. She placed it on the ground, and opened it. Much to their surprise, the X on the map had moved, and was currently moving as they looked at it. “Look! It's following where it's going! I bet it's with whoever has the brush still!”

“Let me see!” cried Photo as she dashed back to the map.

“Uh, sure, be my guest. But, I have to ask, why?” Colgate stepped to the side to allow Photo a clear look.

“I know the land well enough. Perhaps I can tell you where your precious 'Brush' is!” she said as she looked down at the map, then gasped. “TH-THE X! IT IS HEADED DIRECTLY TO WHERE MY BELOVED LIVES!” Without a moment's hesitation, she turned on the spot, and bolted. The others were caught by surprise by this, but quickly followed.

“Wait, is this brush dangerous?” Berry asked as they charged through the swamp.

“I would think not, but if Photo Finish's reaction is anything to go by, then it would seem that we might be wrong.” Lyra could tell that Bon-Bon was trying to sound brave, but she knew better. If Bon-Bon's reaction was anything to go by, they were heading directly into danger...

Author's Note:

Being neither a fashion photographer, nor vaguely German (or at least German speaking), I find Photo's dialogue most challenging to write. Still, it could be worse. I could be trying to have her speak in rhyme.

Also: if you see any errors, please pardon them. Though, paradoxically, do feel free to point them out.