The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter Two, Part Six

Chapter Two, Part Six

Colgate's jaw dropped. C-collect them? Her head begun spinning. How was that even possible? It's not like a cutie mark was a sticker or anything like that. You can't just take it off! The very idea was absurd!

“That's impossible!” Colgate said. “You can't 'collect' them! They don't come off!” she protested.

The griffin simply grinned even wider. “Now now now. We can't have you thinking something like that.” it said. “Here,” it opened its coat and pulled out what seemed to be a scroll of some kind. “Now, this roll an't full yet, but I'm getting there. I've gotten a good number of these filled so far.” It held the scroll in front of its face, and then let it unroll. It hit the ground, and unrolled just short of Colgate's head. She looked at what lay on it.

Her skin turned white.

It was covered in cutie marks, and each cutie mark was in pairs. One for the left and one for the right. She counted dozens of them. All them neatly lined up in two columns of each pair (making, on the whole, the scroll four cutie marks wide). Then a thought dawned on her.

“Oh! I get it!” she said, hoping that her conclusion was right, “You make copies of them and put them on the scroll!” She said, her eyes suddenly full of hope.

“Nope. I just take'em right off with this thing here.” it said, once again tossing the red cloth in its claw. “Kinda like wiping something off a table. I wipe it right over the mark, and onto this scroll here, and bam! There it is. Then I do again, 'cause it wouldn't be right to leave the job unfinished.” It looked around from behind the scroll to look at her. “But I like to get the little story about how these little things came to be. It makes it feel a little more personal, don't you think? Now then, how did you get your stupid stamp?” it demanded.

Colgate, mustering more bravado then she should have had given the situation, set her eyes to make the most determined face that she could. “Only if you tell me how you make those things.” She demanded, or at least had begun to demand. In actuality, her demand had been rudely cut off by the griffin's laughter.

“That-was-ADORABLE!” it shouted, nearly falling backwards. “By my feathers! That was so cute! Do it again, Do it again!” it said rather excitedly.

Blast it all! Colgate had forgotten about her horrible curse! The more serious she tried to be, the more adorable she became. Given that she had been serious indeed, she could only imagine how cute she must have become. She wagered that not only had her face ended up looking adorable, but her voice probably raised and octave or two higher. And to add insult to injury, she probably said those words like how a tiny little filly would have said them. Blast it all, why in Equestria did this have to happen at all the worst times?

“No.” she said firmly. Unsurprisingly, and much to her frustration, this made the griffin laugh only harder.

“Oh...” it was gasping for breath, “oh … stop … I can't take too much more of that...” it said, wiping tears from its eyes.

Well, might as well make the best of it, eh?

With that thought in mind, Colgate donned her serious face once more (for it had become rather crestfallen). “Untie me right now, and take me back to Dodge Junction!” she commanded in her most authoritative voice. “If you don't, you'll be in really big trouble!” She knew that threat was kinda lame, but it was the best she could think of off the top of her head. She suddenly wished she had taken Berry up on that offer to do some improv theater (perhaps if she had, she could have thought up a better threat). But now was not the time for such regrets!

The griffin had begun laughing uncontrollably and, try as it might, it couldn't maintain eye-contact with her. Every time it tried, it would only burst out in more laughter. Colgate didn't know what she hoped to gain from making it laugh so much, but hopefully something would come of it. It dropped both scroll and cloth as it clutched its sides and doubled over in both laughter and pain. It tried to speak, but failed multiple times. It was right about then that Colgate got a brilliant idea. Well, it seemed that way to her, never mind that it was more suicidal then brilliant. She wormed her way over to the griffin's side (shouting increasingly dire and serious commands, as well as threats at it all the while). Thankfully it was too busy crying and laughing to notice her moving closer. Once close enough, she activated the plan.

It was simple, yet elegant. The griffin mentioned that, and she saw, that her trying to use magic usually ended in one of two ways. Either nothing happened or a very real explosion would occur. Seeing as how she had managed to walk away from both scenarios (those times when she could walk anyway), her plan was to cause that explosion once more. This time however, the griffin wouldn't be able to escape. It would be too close, and it couldn't react quickly enough to escape the blast. So, taking a moment to brace herself for the pain that would soon come, she focused and sent just about the biggest wave of magic she could into her horn.

Nothing.

She blinked. Well, it was about a 50/50 chance it seemed. And, if at first you don't succeed... She focused once more, and sent another wave into her horn.

BOOM

When she came to, she noticed two immediate things. One: that she was still very much alive. That is assuming that throbbing migraines are indeed an indication of life. Two: she was sill wrapped up like a frustrated AJ on a failed practice day (and let me tell you, that's more wrapped up then winter in Ponyville). Still, if her planned worked, then she would have enough time to break free and head out of here … wherever here was. She wiggled around a bit. Nothing gave. If nothing else, that griffin had proven that it was a pro with tying rope. Perhaps that sharp statue was still around. She could try it again. She looked around. She was surround by dust, and the last rays of the day were finally vanishing. In short, she had no idea where she was, or how to escape. She knew she wasn't near the rocks anymore, for if she had been, she figured that she could have made out their silhouettes in the dark. She wiggled some more. Still nothing. She let let out a sigh of frustration, that was stopped dead in its tracks, for she suddenly realized that she couldn't open her mouth.

It had been tied back shut.

Then it dawned on her. Her plan had failed. Or, at least, so she assumed. How else could her mouth had been tied shut again? She tried to look around once more, this time managing to flop onto her other side. Her legs made a large thump sound and kicked up some dust as they hit the ground.

“Finally awake, huh?” came a voice that she wished she'd never heard before (or again for that matter!). “Now now now, we can't have you flopping about like that. It looks about as stupid as that little brain of yours.” Something heavy landed on her legs, pinning them in place. “To your credit though, you weren't out that long. Well, that long after I woke up anyway. Nasty blast that. I guess I was careless.” She couldn't see where the griffin was speaking from but she guessed it was either from on top of whatever was on her legs, or somewhere behind her. Either way, she couldn't see it. “I've got to admit, you have been a lot of trouble. I've never met a pony so determined to be a pain. I mean, knowingly making your head explode like that? You've got to be crazy. Seriously, you're almost not worth the effort. But we want a unicorn, so by my feathers we're going to get one! Even if it's caused nothing but pain!” it was clearly agitated, and bit exhausted. “Now, tell me how you got your stupid flank symbol, or an exploding head will be the last of your worries!” Something hit the ground next to her mouth, and she felt the ropes loosen. Focusing her eyes on it, she saw it was a knife.

“Not unle-”

“NO. You're not in a position to bargain anymore! You're going to tell me how you got it, and you're going to tell me NOW!” it roared.

Colgate normally wasn't one to succumb to intimidation. And this time would have been no different, if not for the following facts: One, she was in the middle of the desert with this griffin presumably being the only one who knew how to get back to civilization. Two, she was covered head to hoof with tight rope that she couldn't get out of. Three, she had a very large and very heavy thing pinning her legs. Four, she was completely helpless and that griffin sounded almost like it was out for blood. And five: that was an awfully big knife. In short, she had no choice.

She sighed. “Alright, alright. I'll tell you. Not that you're gonna believe me anyway.” she said.

“Try me” it responded.

“I … I was born with it.” she said.

There was silence.

“Born with it?” it asked, quite confused.

“Yes. I was born with it.” she said rather curtly.

“That's … really? That's it?” it asked, a bit stupefied.

“Yes. That's it. No big story, no amazing event, nothing. I was born with it. End of story.”

Had she been able to see the griffin, she would have noticed its beak slowly opening and closing in disbelief. “But I thought...” it trailed off.

“That all ponies had to earn their cutie marks? Well most of them do. I just so happen to be different, thank you very much!” it was always a very sore subject for her. The fillies in school were both envious and picked on her for that reason.

“Well … that's rather … anticlimactic. I was hoping for some kind of … something. I mean, you've shown more spunk and fight then just about any pony I've ever met, or even griffin for that matter. And at the end of it all, you were just BORN with it? You've got to be kidding me!” it shouted, and the weight on her legs lightened just a little as she heard a swoosh of wings above her. It would seem that it had been sitting on top of whatever was on her legs. It flew into the air, then landed heavily on the ground near her head. “Of all the stories, of all he possibilities, YOU WERE BORN WITH IT? THAT'S BEYOND LAME.” to say it was upset would be an understatement. “Each one has a unique story! And yours is 'I was born with it'?! Whatever! It's good enough!” is said, throwing its arms in the air while it made its way over to her backside, picking up the knife as it went.

“Why in Equestria does that bother you so much?” Colgate asked, quite agitated.

It stopped for a moment. “Why? Because then I have no idea what to do with you!” it said as if the answer was obvious.

“What? What do you mean?” Colgate was afraid of the answer.

She felt the ropes covering her cutie mark suddenly slacken as she felt the ropes around it get cut. “Oh, right, I forgot for a sec you have no idea how this all works. Well, might as well tell you what you need to know. So, like, each of those stupid marks represents your,” it cringed as it spoke the next word, “destiny, right? That one thing that you're really good at, right? So, like, it's what make you unique, right?” It paused, Colgate assumed it was waiting for an answer.

“Uh, yeah, for the most part.” she responded, her voice a little nervous.

“So, it's pretty simple. I wipe it right off of you and suddenly you're a blank slate. Your history, your memories, what makes you special, all that vomit. But since I have the marks right there.” it said, pointing at the scroll, “I get to keep all of that. And because of that, I get to tell all those ponies what to do. And since they were already so 'talented',” it made little quotation marks in the air as it said that, “in something, I usually just have them keep doing it. Now do you get why I'm so peeved? I mean, 'I was born with it'! What am I supposed to do with that?” it said, looking at her almost as if it was expecting her to answer the question.

Colgate however was in no position to respond. Her identity? Her special talent? Gone, just like that? Then something came back to her on her. All of the other ponies she had seen with this griffin didn't have cutie marks! Every single one had been blank! She struggled to look at the griffin, but the ropes made it rather difficult. “But, why? Why?” she asked, trying everything she could to break free, but it was no use.

“Oh no no no, we can't have you knowing that, now can we?” it said, malice thick in its voice. It then turned and looked down at her cutie mark. “Well, I'm sure I'll figure something out. Here goes!” It laid the cloth on her cutie mark, and wiped.

And then its eyes filled with bright light. It let out a terrifying shriek, and was suddenly, and rather violently, blown back into the darkness and out of Colgate's sight...

Author's Note:

It's also extremely absorbent, making it perfect for those tough to clean messes!

P.S. Where the %^&&# is Berry and Bon-Bon in all of this?!

Comments

[Iron Comet]

And yes Colgates Butt stamp is also explosive, just like her horn!

[OCisbestpony]

Why yes, yes it is.