The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter Two, Part Five

Chapter Two, Part Five

Bonnie Bonnet was a simple mare. She enjoyed the little things in life. She loved her little garden, and she spent many hours humming to her little flowers and vegetables. She loved her little polka dotted bonnet that was her mother's and the little apron that was her father's. She had a simple little cottage not far from her native town of Ponyville. It was one story, with a kitchen, a living room, and two bedrooms. Not far from the home was a small outhouse that was covered in bright flowers. It was in this home she had been raised with her younger brother. Just as her mother had been, and her father before her. Her foalhood had been a simple and pleasant one. She had kind parents, and her brother and her had gotten along wonderfully. In short, her life was simple and wonderful. There was, however, one small problem.

She has absolutely nothing to do with this story.

Her brother however, is another matter. He was the poor chap who had been sent flying through the air by Berry's powerful kick. She, of course, was completely unaware of this event, and went about her life with nary a care in the world. Had she been aware, she would have been unsurprised. For, in their adult years, he had fallen in with a bad crowd. Eventually, he had left home, leaving her to care for their ailing parents by herself. This too had not surprised her, for the kind of ponies he had run off with were a rather deplorable crowd. Not only had they encouraged him to not write after he left (the fiends!), but they also didn't take baths (Seriously! Who doesn't take baths? Fetid mongrels the lot of them!). So, if she had heard that all these years after he had left that he had been on the business end of a vengeful pony's hooves, she would have simply snorted and said nothing more. She knew those ponies were trouble, and secretly, every night, she hoped that they were all going to get what was coming to them. Little did they know that they were, and that it would come in perhaps the most unexpected form.

Little did they know that form would be Lyra, who knew even less then they did that she would be just that.

But enough about unimportant ponies, let's get back to Colgate shall we?

She had never been on the receiving end of a griffin's dive before. On the end of a charging pony, yes. One the end of a furious rabbit's pounce, who hasn't? But never a griffin, and she planned on keeping that way. Thinking quickly, she kicked up a piece of wood onto her hoof, then threw it at the diving bird-like beast. Not taking time to see if she hit, she ran for the mouth of the cave. A hard crack told her board had found its mark. She plunged through the entrance, only to be stopped dead in the air as something grabbed her tail and yanked back hard on it.

“Nice try! But a puny little board isn't gonna stop me!” said the griffin as it began trying to pull her out.

She grit her teeth and dug in her hooves. She pulled against the griffin, trying her best to ignore the pain; trying her best to yank her tail free. Problem is, pony tails are rather sensitive things. Pulling on them often causes terrible pain (this is also true for the tails that pony's have, though those are not quite as sensitive), and often makes the wearer of said hair style rather upset, but we digress. The griffin was strong, and the fact that it braced its limbs against the walls of the cave entrance only made it harder to fight against. She pulled, it pulled. It had turned into a terrible game of tug-of-war. She would move forward a bit, only to be dragged right back to where she had begun.

“GET-OUT-HERE!” it shouted.

“NO!” Colgate shouted back, trying to dig her hooves into the ground even harder. She looked around for something, anything, to help out. There! A decent sized rock! She reached out with her mag-and suddenly her head exploded. Well, not literally mind you, but she felt a mighty shock to her head none-the-less. A shock that knocked her off her hooves, and into the waiting claws of a griffin.

“Get over here!” it shouted as it grabbed her horn and with a sudden jerk, thrust Colgate to the ground. “You've been more trouble then you're worth! Let's fix that.” Holding up one talon in the air, Colgate saw it had a rope it in. Bringing it down, it quickly tied her up much like poor Applejack after failing a rope trick (now, it's worth noting that Applejack rarely blotches one of her rope tricks, in public anyway. Colgate [at the insistence of Berry] sometimes spied on poor AJ while she would practice a new move. This brought the two onlookers much enjoyment to see AJ become a mummy made of ropes). “There! That should hold you!” it said, giving a final yank on the rope to tighten it. “Now then, what should we do about you hum? Ooo! I wonder if the cloth works on unicorns!” it said taking a step back from Colgate.

“It works fine!” Colgate tried to shout, but was unable to. The griffin looked at her appraisingly, bringing one of its talons to its chin in thought.

“A golden hourglass? Hum … how is it again that you stupid ponies work? Your mark is your special … 'something'.” It shook its head. “It's all so lame and dorky anyway. But I can't complain too much.” It reached into its jacket, and pulled out another cloth, but this one was a bit different. The one that was wrapped around her horn looked to be a simple brown cloth (it even had the odd hole in it). This one was a very dark red with a dirty gold border. “You know what the thing about you stupid ponies is? You're too obsessed with those marks of yours.” It began bouncing the cloth up and down in its talon. “You're all like, 'Oh! It's my destiny! I know what I really am!' or some puke like that. Well you know what? There are plenty of us who don't have these silly things and we get along just fine. And what's your 'Special Talent'? Time keeping? Or do you make hourglasses? Well?” It asked as it reached for Colgate's muzzle, and pulled the ropes off of it. Colgate took the chance and tried to bite its talon, but it was just quick enough to avoid her. “Oh no no no! We can't have that!” It said, striking the cloth on Colgate's horn with the new one.

All at once her vision was filled with hundreds of images. It felt like her mind was filled with the memories and motivations of hundreds of ponies. For a moment, she felt like she could have done anything. Indeed, it felt like she had suddenly gained the talent for almost anything in this world, then all at once, those feelings were replaced with hundreds of feelings of loss. Loss of motivation, reason, and even purpose. All at once she felt the despair of hundreds of ponies all at once. She gasped. The sensation only lasted a moment, but it was long enough.

“Huh.” The griffin said, its eyes filling with curiosity. “I didn't expect that. I just figured you'd get a nasty shock.”

Colgate blinked a couple of times. “Wait, what? What happened?”

“Well, your eyes went all white and then suddenly all of these different … uh … 'Cutie Marks' I guess, flashed in them. Kinda like a flip-book or something.” it said, peering closely at her. “What happened in that over-sized head of yours?” it asked, its face getting uncomfortably close to hers.

Colgate's face recoiled from the griffin's as it got close, and she thought of biting it, but decided against it. She figured that feathers were bad for her teeth anyway. “First off, I'm a dentist, thank you very much!” she said rather indignantly.

The griffin blinked. “What? A dentist? Hold on, your flank stamp is an hourglass, and you are a dentist? What the? That doesn't make ANY sense!”

Colgate pursed her lips. The topic of her cutie mark had always been kinda touchy. Yes, it wasn't related to dentistry, no she did make clocks or had an amazing sense of time (though she did like to be punctual). And no, she did not own a massive hourglass. That was Time Turner's, to whom she was NOT related to. And no, she didn't want to talk about how or when she got her mark. She always had to go through that gambit of questions whenever she got a new patient or traveled out of Ponyville for professional reasons. It always annoyed her, and thankfully, the good ponies of Ponyville knew this and stopped asking questions soon after she started her practice. Still, it was something that haunted her most of her life. And even now it continued to haunt her it seemed.

“Yes, what of it?” she snapped. She had just about enough of this griffin.

It raised an eyebrow. “Oh my my my. Tied up like a mummy but acting tough huh? You must either be a real bad tailfeather or just stupid. You could also be really mad. Whatever, you're proving to be more trouble then you're worth. Though we can't just let you go. And I don't know if this would work right or not...” it said, tossing the red cloth up and down again. “I mean, the cloth on your horn works, kinda. Hum … I don't know, there's something wrong with you. I mean, first, you're able to stay awake while the cloth is on your horn. Not suppose to happen. Second, the cloth isn't supposed to cause an explosion when it stops your stupid magic. I mean, I don't know too much about how this works, but I'm pretty sure it's supposed to just suck it all outta your head while its on. And the fact that it only does that sometimes makes me worried. Third: I really don't like you. And your job doesn't match your stupid symbol or whatever. You're not normal, and I don't like that. Not only that, you knocked most of my gang outta commission! You know what? Maybe I should just tie you to a rock and leave you there. Except I can't do that 'cause those stupid cloths are hard to make! Arg!” it threw its arms up in frustration, the sound almost masculine, but then again, perhaps it was feminine. Colgate really wished she knew more about griffins. She made a note to ask Twilight about them when she got back to Ponyville.

“Wait, you make these things? How?”

“Oh? You wanna know do you?” it said cracking a huge grin, at least as much as a griffin can with a beak. “Tell ya what, why don't you tell me about that pretty little mark of yours first and why you're so weird. Like, why are you so different then any other unicorn?”

Colgate swallowed. She always hated this part. It always caused more questions then answers, but she figured that if she could find out how this griffin made these cloths, then perhaps she just might figure out how to get it off. Or, at the very least, warn Twilight and the authorities about them. It just might be worth the trade. “Why do you want to know about my Cutie Mark so bad?”

“Because,” it said with a smile, “I collect them...”

Author's Note:

Fun Fact: this is the 13th installment of this story. A lucky day for our Dentist, an't it?

Comments

[OCisbestpony]

Personally, I blame Trixie. She wanted a cleaning that was as great and powerful as she was.

[redmar]

This griffin should visit Starlight's village. They wouldn't like each other at all.