The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter Three: Swamps are for Lovers, Part One

Chapter Three: Swamps are for Lovers
Part One

One had to pity the good Doctor, for it seems as though luck, as of late, had decided to spit into his cereal. Or, more accurately: It gave him a lovely bowl, brimming with the most tasty, most marshmellowy, most sugar-rushing inducing cereal anypony could ever desire, then it filled the bowl with its salivations. You see, after wandering due south for one day, he learned something important that night. One: both hunger and thirst are things that come to a pony, particularly when they are wondering alone in a wasteland by themselves. And two: wastelands can become surprisingly cold at night, so one ought to make sure they've built a nice fire to keep themselves warm.

So, after his second day of wandering south, he did two things. One: he fed on any bits of grass he could find. Now, he did find some grass, but it was rather … crispy shall we say. Not to mention all of the dust. And Two: he sought high and low, low and high, highandlow, lowandhigh for wood. He dug and dug and dug as well as pulled, lifted, heaved, and even chopped (he had taken some Karate lessons as a young colt, so while his attempts at chopping wood were painful, it at least worked). He had even stopped a couple of hours early to give himself time for all of that.

And the one moment he wasn't looking, the ONE moment he just HAD to go find some water (which he did, after much, much digging), he came back to discover all of his hard earned wood was gone. Poof. Just like that. Every last piece. Not even a twig remained.

It was then that he cursed his fate once more. Waving angry hooves into the air, he wished more then anything that he had a horn, that he might be able to put his extensive knowledge of time travel to use. If only he could, then he could go back in time and not only solve the mystery of the missing firewood, but prevent it from being a mystery to begin with! Oh why, why was he born an Earth Pony?! Granted, there was nothing wrong with being an Earth Pony, but the fact was that he couldn't put his extensive studies to good use without the magic that unicorns have.

He let out a defeated sigh. At least he found food and water … and dust. He spat on the ground again. That stuff was still in his mouth. Oh well. At least he was making good time, if his calculations were correct. Not that he knew exactly where he was going. Nor was he sure if he was even going the right way. He just knew that he had a place that he was needed at. A place that required his expertise, and that alone was more then enough to drive him through this insane plan of simply walking south.

Now, you see, he was hoping that the Macintosh Hills were simply due south of Dodge, for just beyond them was his destination. What he didn't know was that they were south of Appleoosa, which, unbeknownst to him, was very much west of Dodge. So, in blissful ignorance, he wandered south.

At least, he thought he was heading south...

*****

The morning after was a late one for Colgate. Given that she was the last to fall asleep, it only made sense that she was last to awaken. Thankfully however, this time she did not awaken tied up, or in a cave, or under any other unpleasant circumstance. Rather, she simply woke up later than her other companions.

“Rise and shine Colgate.” Bon-Bon said.

Colgate looked around the camp. It was almost completely cleared by the time she had awoken. The only things that remained were her sleeping spot, and the fire pit. The other three were simply sitting around, with Bon-Bon looking at her and Berry and Lyra off to the side chatting idly with each other. “What time is it?” Colgate asked, looking around.

“Shouldn't you already know that?” Lyra said, turning her head and giving her a wink.

“My cutie mark is an Hourglass, not a sundial, thank you very much!” Colgate huffed.

“Okay, okay. Relax. Sorry I brought it up.” Lyra said, a bit surprised by her reaction.

“She didn't mean anything by it Colgate.” Berry said. “She didn't know.”

“Didn't know what?” Lyra asked, looking back at Berry.

“That I get asked about that all the time.” Colgate answered as she stood up, shaking the sleep from her head.

“What do you mean?” Bon-Bon asked.

Colgate didn't much like this topic. But it always came up. Ponies always wanted to know why a dentist had an hourglass for a cutie mark. Not only a dentist, but what was, by all signs, a prodigy of astronomy. “Look, I've already talked about this recently, and I don't want to talk about it again!”

“Hey, that's not fair!” Lyra objected, “You can't ask us all about us being spies and then just not tell us about this!”

Bon-Bon nodded, “She's got a poi-”

“That's totally different!” Colgate shook her head.

“I don't know Colgate...” Berry said.

“Not you too Berry! You know how much I hate talking about this!” Colgate pleaded.

“And do you think blowing our cover was fun for us?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an eyebrow (her good one, as the other was still defunct, and partly covered by the eye patch she still wore).

Lyra giggled softly. “You know, if she really does hate talking about it so much, we should make her take a sip of that drink. Bet she'd sing like a bird then.” Lyra said with a devious grin, that only grew bigger when Colgate shot her a look of daggers.

Colgate looked helplessly between the three of them. The only face that offered sympathy also told her that she needed to do this. She let out a sigh.

“Fine. Sorry if I'm repeating myself, but here goes.” She looked at the ground and shook her head. “Do you remember what it was like in Kindergarten? The only thing anypony talked about was their cutie marks, right? Who was gonna get it first, what's going to be? Stuff like that, right? Well...” she paused. “I never got to be a part of that. Got my cutie mark early, like really early. In fact, I was born with it.” She paused, waiting for the inevitable reaction. The shock, the awe, the endless questions of 'How is that possible?' or 'Were your parents proud?' or even, 'Are you sure? That's not possible!'

It didn't come. Rather, Bon-Bon simply sat there, and Lyra let out a low whistle. “That's kinda cool.” She said. Colgate heard that from time to time, and she kinda disagreed.

“Not really. See, the other fillies and colts all want one so bad, and when you walk into class with one already, they tend to kinda be jealous. The worse part was, I remember when the teacher asked me to explain what my special talent was...” Colgate trailed off. It was still hard to talk about. “I...”

“She said she didn't know.” Berry finished for her, and Colgate was glad that she did. That part, to this day, was the worst of it all.

“What happened?” Bon-Bon asked.

“If I know kids, they probably gasped, then laughed at her.” Lyra shrugged.

“Kinda,” Berry continued, “The teacher, who didn't know that you didn't know, right?” She looked at Colgate to make sure she had that right. Colgate nodded. “The teacher asked her how that was possible. She said she didn't know. Then the teacher asked her if she made hourglasses, she said she didn't. And it kinda went on like that for a bit, if I remember right.”

Colgate almost didn't hear Berry speaking. She was lost in the memory of that day. She remembered the confused and scared looks of the other fillies and colts. She remembered that her teacher looked confused at first, then skeptical. She remembered when the first pony shouted out 'It's a fake!' She remembered the laughter and the pointing and the looks and the-

“Colgate!” Berry's voice suddenly shouted into her ear.

She looked up and saw Berry's face right in front of hers. “I-I'm okay. I just, got lost.”

“You okay now?” Berry asked.

“Yeah. I can take it from here. Thanks Berry.” Berry nodded and stepped to the side. Colgate was very glad that there was another pony who could talk about this stuff. Simply thinking about it was hard enough. “So, yeah. From that day on, I was the outcast. I kinda had friends, but they didn't last long. They were all too scared of me. Too scared that they might become like me. That they might somehow get a cutie mark that didn't mean, or do, anything.”

“What about the teacher? Did they do nothing to help?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Well, I remember after that, she felt terrible. So she tried to help, but she was always kinda uncomfortable around me. Eventually, she kinda stopped.” Colgate said with another sigh. While it was true that Equestria was a land of love and peace, it was far from perfect. After all, it wasn't until she moved and started attending a different school that the teasing stopped.

“What happened? I mean, did it get worse?” Lyra asked.

“Well, it got to the point where we had to move. By that time, everypony was getting their cutie marks, so when I got to my new school, everypony thought it was kinda neat that I had mine for so long.” Colgate explained, her mood becoming lighter as she thought about her second school.

“So, nopony was bothered by the fact you were born with it? That's pretty sweet.” Lyra commented.

“Well, I never told them I was born with it. I just told everypony that I had gotten it while I was really young! So young, that I had completely forgotten what I had done to get it!” Colgate said with a winning smile. It was a smile she had used many times. She had found out that if she told that story right, and ended with that smile, then everypony would laugh and think it was really funny.

Bon-Bon giggled slightly, and Lyra chuckled once or twice. Looks like she's still got it! “So I take it that went over well?” Bon-Bon asked.

Colgate nodded, “Yep. It helped me make my first friends. I found out that laughter really was a good way to get ponies to open up and want to be friends with you. It didn't work with everypony, but I learned early on that you can't please everypony. That school was...” Colgate choked up for a second. Her heart flooded with warm memories of that class. Her old friends, all now moved and living their own lives, treated her with so much love, even after she finally told them the truth. They had grown to accept her, and even took it as a point of pride that she was so unique. After all, they had never heard of a pony that had been born with a cutie mark! Not to mention one who's talent seemed to have nothing to do with it!

She smiled as she remembered how they always supported her in her endeavors. They had gone stargazing with her, they had gone with her to her first dentists appointments (and she with them, for she had befriended the dentists and their staff right quick, and when she was there, they always treated her friends extra nice), as well as helped her through school. They were a tight-knit group. And it never bothered them that she was a dentist with an hourglass cutie mark, unlike many a pony she had met in her life. But, they had given her something that she had needed to work through that day in and day out. They had taught her that a pony is more then just their cutie mark, and that a book must never be judged by its cover (a lesson that she kinda forgot about after living in Ponyville for a little while. But that was because she had kinda grown complacent...). “That school was where I met and made my first friends.” She smiled, and looked up at the blue sky above them.

“Where're they now?” Lyra asked.

Colgate shook her head and looked at her. “I don't really know. We all went out separate ways once we graduated.”

“I see.” Said Bon-Bon, “But I think we're getting off track.”

“Yeah, you're right. So, anyway, ever since then, ponies always assumed that my talent was with making hourglasses or knowing time, or something like that. So they always had to ask about how a pony with an hourglass could be a dentist, and so I'd end up thinking about what it was like when I was a foal. Not to mention it made it hard for my professors to take me seriously at first. I usually had to pass what felt like a right of passage whenever I got a new one, just to prove I was serious about becoming a dentist. Didn't help that for the longest time I was obsessed with the stars.” Colgate said, casting a glance once more at the sky. “I mean, what kind of pony has this cutie mark, and knows just about everything there is to know about the night sky, and aspires to clean teeth for a living?” Colgate shook her head again. That was the attitude she always had to overcome.

“You had an interest in the stars?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Oh filly! Did she ever!” Berry suddenly said. “You wanted to know anything about anything you saw, you asked her! She had most of the stars memorized if I remember right. Not only that, she had a real telescope in her house. You know, one of those expensive ones that almost pro stargazers use? Yeah, she was using one of those before most ponies even had their cutie marks!”

“How do you know that?” Lyra asked, looking at her in surprise. “How long have you two known each other?!”

“She knows that because she met a lot of my old friends when I graduated. We all held a big party together, and Berry here spent the entire night talking to each and every friend I had. And I can't remember, did we actually know each other before that?” Colgate asked, looking at Berry.

Berry shrugged, “I don't know. Doesn't matter much if you ask me.”

“I suppose not.” Colgate shrugged. “So, anyway, yeah. I knew all sorts of things. I've forgotten almost all of it now though. I had to kinda forget it to make room for my studies.” Colgate said somewhat sheepishly.

“What? That doesn't make sense! It's not like our brains can only hold so much.” Lyra said, making a 'time-out' gesture.

“Well, I had to really focus on my studies, rather then keep what I knew about astronomy fresh and at the front of my mind. So I just kinda forgot most of it over time.” Colgate explained.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” Lyra said, putting a hoof to her chin.

“Why did you have such an intense interest anyway? That does seem odd for a pony with an hourglass cutie mark who would one day become a dentist.” Bon-Bon asked, though Colgate thought she detected a hint of a grin.

“You know, I've never asked you about that!” Berry said, the thought dawning on her, “Why were you so obsessed?”

Colgate blushed slightly. “Well, I don't really know. It just, felt natural, you know? Like, I kinda knew them, I guess. Like, I remember I would sit there and if I shut my eyes and focused really hard, I could almost feel their warmth, or so it felt like. And it just kinda came easy to me. I don't know. It's kinda hard to say.”

“Really? Wow. That's kinda cool.” Lyra said, with Berry nodding in agreement.

“Yes, that is interesting. That said, the day is running on, and I think we should get going.” Bon-Bon pointed out. The other three looked at each other in surprise and then up at the sun. Sure enough, it would only be an hour or two until noon.

“How long will it take for us to reach Hayseed Bon-Bon?” Colgate asked.

Bon-Bon looked up at the sky, and pondered for a moment. “I'd say, if we make a decent pace, mid-afternoon.” She then looked down at the group, “Now then, are we going to do as we agreed?”

“I'm cool with it.” Lyra said.

“I too agree.” Bon-Bon said.

“I-I'm out. I just can't do that anymore...” Berry said. Both Bon-Bon's and Lyra's shoulders slumped. “I'm sorry...”

“It's okay.” Bon-Bon said, “Like we agreed, it's your choice, and we're not gonna force you. That said, do you have the bottle?”

Berry held up a hoof and focused on it. After a moment (and a sweat bead or two on her forehead), the bottle popped onto it once more.

“Me first.” Lyra said as she swiped the bottle from Berry's hoof, and in the same magical motion, popped the cork, and took a drink. “Oh colt that stuff is nasty!” She said, as she once again began to bend and morph and-Colgate turned her head. The whole thing was a bit too much to watch.

After a few moments, and a few more unnatural sounds, Colgate spoke up, “You done yet?”

“Sure am! Having wings feels so weird...” Colgate turned to look at her, and sure enough, Lyra was that giant...thing again. Bigger even then a pony, it was the most bizarre shape she'd ever seen.

“Looks like everything is working properly. How do you feel?” Bon-Bon asked.

“Just as normal as I can like this.” Lyra said, flapping her wings a couple of times.

“Okay, good.” She held out a hoof, and picked up the bottle that had fallen to the ground during Lyra's … change. She popped the cork, and took a swig herself.

And nothing happened.

Author's Note:

Originally, after posting the previous chapter, I had planned on going on a small haitus to give myself some time to rest and relax after writing those last two bits.

And then this just kinda popped out.

Oh well, guess no break for me!

Also: as a small note, I'll be going back to posting smaller, less lengthy continuations. Whereas the last two were much longer, the following bits are (most likely) going to be around 2.5 to 3 thousand words.

Comments

[Zaphireflies]

Oh no! I'm so fricking behind and new uploads every where?
On the the contrary, YES, FINALLY CHAPTER 3!

[Zaphireflies]

BTW, I just noticed, You could add Other to the character Tag if you want.

[OCisbestpony]

5997490

Oh? You think so?

[OCisbestpony]

5997469

It took a long time to get to there, but it finally happened...

[OCisbestpony]

6005293

It's okay, there is no judgment here, only love

Wait, I meant:

dag nab it!