The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter Two, Part One: Spoilers-It's Actually A Lovely Place To Have A Picnic

Chapter Two, Part One: Spoilers-It's Actually A Lovely Place To Have A Picnic

Colgate awoke with a start. The first thing she noticed was that she was bouncing up and down, a lot. Second, she was upside down. Third, she was on something, and forth that she was surrounded with terrible noise and dust. She also noticed that she was going very fast. She turned her head left and right to see if she could figure out what was going on. It was day, that much was for sure. And she was apparently on the back of another pony. She also discovered that her mouth was tied shut, and that her four legs were also tied together and sticking straight up into the air. Trying to reach out to her horn, she felt a great resistance preventing her from doing anything with magic. Looking up at her horn (which technically was pointed down, so technically she looked down, not up) she saw it wrapped in a strange cloth of some kind. She couldn't quite figure out what it was made of, but she was pretty sure she knew what it was for.

It was for blocking her magic.

Then it dawned on her.

She had been kidnapped.

Now, kidnapping (more formally known as Foalnapping) in Equestria is an interesting topic. Most of the time, it's all in good and harmless fun. Your friends come in at night, yank you from your bed, tie you up, and haul you somewhere you've never been or don't know very well. At which point they then spring a surprise party on you and then everyone has a nice cup of punch, and lovely presents are given. No harm done, and everypony has a good time.

Colgate was pretty sure that didn't apply here. One, she didn't recognize this pony who was carrying her. Granted one's foalnappers usually wore sacks or something, but one could usually tell who they were, as they usually forgot to cover their cutie marks. Two, the foalnappings were usually somewhat gentle, as nopony wanted anypony to get hurt. This pony was rather rough, and running at top speed. Three, this pony definitely did not smell like Berry. Even through the thick dust that surrounded her, she could smell cheap drink and unwashed pony. Sure, Berry usually smelled of death herself, but her death was rather distinctive. This death was more generic. And finally, she noticed that her foalnapper was a stallion. Berry most defiantly was not a stallion, unless she broke her promise. Colgate however found that to be very unlikely, as Berry was never one to break her word. Granted, she had faults a-plenty, but dishonesty and disloyalty was not among them. Also: this colt had a brown coat, as well as a large cowpony hat. So, in short, this was very clearly not Berry foalnapping her and taking her to a surprise party.

He also smelled bad, but she had already noticed that.

After a few moments, the chaos around her began to make sense. The loud noise she recognized as the sound of a rushing train. Over it, she could hear loud voices straining to shout over it. The voice of her carrier sounded very deep and gruff. She could hear other voices, none of which she recognized, save a few that she could barely make out. She realized that her foalnapper was running along the side of the train tracks, and indeed he was not alone. Behind him was what looked like one or two more ponies, and ahead of him looked to be a few more ponies as well. She could also see the train.

It was the train to Dodge Junction.

Understandably surprised, Colgate had no idea what to make of the whole situation. On the one hoof, she felt a surge of excitement, perhaps even a thrill from the experience. On the other, sheer unbridled terror. The latter was much stronger.

“Mhphpmmphpmmmm!” She attempted to say. Given that she was gagged, it came out rather muffled.

The pony carrying her turned its head and looked at her. Wow, his face was almost as foul as his smell. “Huh, sur ou a-wak, eh?” he raised an eyebrow which looked like a wild bush, and then looked up and past her. “SS'S A-WAK! GRAD E GOODS ND SPIT!”

Colgate could barely understand what he said. She was pretty sure he said something about her being awake, and that it was time to go. Well, that must have been it, because she saw the other figures begin to pull away from the train. Then she saw something that surprised her.

A Griffin.

Though griffins were not unseen in Equestria, it was still rare to see one. It lifted off from the train with something rather large in its talons, and from other parts of the train she could see the odd pegasai or two also carrying something large. They all flew to a nearby pony (most of whom she assumed to be the same race as her captor; an Earth Pony) and deposited the large objects onto their backs. From what she could make out (which wasn't much) they looked like large crates or something like that.

The pony carrying her let out a loud “WHOOP!” and several other voices responded with the same yell and the whole group broke away from the train at once. They headed off to the right, as they all seemed to be on the right side of the train. Colgate couldn't see where they were going, but she hoped that wherever they were going, somepony would find her...

*********

So, here's how it all went down. Or rather, here's what happened. Colgate, after a nice long night of peaceful starry contemplation, had finally fallen asleep. A very, very deep sleep. Now, Colgate was normally a fairly heavy sleeper. No dead log mind you, but heavy enough. Now, take the fact that she had been up the entire night running on adrenaline, and give her a surprisingly comfortable grassy knoll to rest her head on, and she becomes much like the sleeping dead. So, when she finally fell asleep just moments before the sun began to rise, she was not waking up under any circumstances. When the others had awoken (about mid morning) Berry had been the one to first approach Colgate.

“Colgate?” Berry asked, shaking her with a hoof. “Collllgaaaate?” she said, shaking her a bit more firmly. Then she paused. “COLGAAAAAAAATE!” she shouted as she picked her up and began shaking her like a rag-doll. If she had been a can of paint, she would have been well mixed. If she had been a carbonated drink? She would have exploded. As it was, she was neither beverage nor paint, so there was little reaction to the vigorous shaking (save her mouth falling open and her tongue flopping about).

“Uh, Berry?” Lyra ventured, “Berry … I think she's not waking up. You, uh, can stop, ya know.” She said, a look of apprehension on her face. Bon-Bon's face was simply one of shock.

Berry stopped the shaking rather suddenly and looked over at them. “Huh?” she said, somewhat stupefied.

“I think she's pretty much out. I mean, she's still out, look at her.” Lyra said, pointing.

Berry looked at Colgate again. Sure enough, she was still asleep. Her mane was a total mess, but despite that she still looked peaceful (hanging tongue and all).

“I think we'll just have to carry her until she wakes up.” Bon-Bon said.

“Really?!” Lyra whined. “Can't we just wait until she wakes up?”

“No.” Bon-Bon asserted, “we're still in the Everfree, and we should get out as soon as we can.”

“Makes sense to me.” Berry said.

“Fine … but who's gonna carry her?” Lyra asked.

They paused. It was clear that none of them wanted to. Their eyes drifted to Lyra. No, for all of her spunk and energy, she did have a tendency to be a bit of a whiner. So the idea of having to deal with that until Colgate woke up was unappealing to everypony. That, and Lyra was the physically weakest of the three present. As for her magic? Well, carrying ponies wholesale with purely magic was more exhausting then simply carrying them. As magic tended to drain both body and mind.

The eyes drifted over to Berry. The years of beverage making has done little to help her physical strength. While she did all of the mixing, concocting, and fermenting (and drinking for that matter), she didn't do much of the actual lifting. Rather, she would often hire Big Mac if he was available or a few other ponies in town to haul her liquid goods to and fro.

Thus, the eyes all fell on poor Bon-Bon. She let out a weary, and somewhat agitated sigh. “I'm going to have to carry her, an't I?” she said. The other two slowly nodded in unison. Bon-Bon cursed her surprisingly strong frame. Despite looking rather average, she was actually fairly strong. Not enough to uproot houses mind you (unlike some lovestruck ponies [poor Berry didn't sleep well the night after that]), but more so then most ponies would have guessed. She let out another sigh. “Alright, let's get this over with.” she said (not to mention it seriously put a strain on Berry's and Big Mac's professional relationship. Mostly because Berry pitched the bright idea that he should drink more love poison before each delivery so that he could take even larger loads. His reaction to said proposal was both simple, and truly profound. It was 'Nope').

The other two set to work making a makeshift carrier. They worked with surprising speed and efficiency. It would seem that a sober Berry was a productive Berry. Bon-Bon spent the time doing some stretches and exercises. She's spent plenty of time doing heavy lifting and hauling, and thus knew the best ways to prep herself for such. Not that Colgate was heavy mind you, but she figured she's be hauling her for several hours, so it was best to prep herself for the literal long haul. Thus, by the time the carrier was ready, so was Bon-Bon.

Placing the harness on Bon-Bon's back, and Colgate on the bed, they were ready to go.

“So, where're we going exactly?” Lyra asked. The other two paused. Then it suddenly dawned on them: only Colgate really knew where they were headed.

“Uh...” Berry began.

“Well, you should know. Didn't you spend the night in the library?” Bon-Bon said.

“Well, yeah … but you know … I'd been drinking that stuff …” Berry said, blushing somewhat.

Bon-Bon's face could not have been more unamused if it tried.

“Well … I'm pretty sure we need to head to Dodge Junction!” Berry ventured, her voice perking up a bit.

“Well, if that's not the right place, I suppose we could always catch the train and head to where we need to go.” Bon-Bon said, raising her hoof to her chin in a thinking pose.

“Sounds good to me!” Piped up Lyra.

“Well, I guess it's settled then. We head to Dodge until Colgate wakes up.” Bon-Bon said. “So, which way?”

“South! That way!” Lyra said far too quickly, and pointing a hoof.

“How did you …” Berry started to ask, but trailed off as the other two began to trot off. Shrugging, she simply decided to roll with it and followed after them.

The Everfree was surprisingly quiet around them. Which was good. The last thing they wanted and needed was something exciting to happen to them while one of them was out like a light. The trip through the forest was also easy enough. There was no path to follow, but between Lyra's freakishly accurate sense of direction, and Bon-Bon's bizarre ability to somehow navigate the difficult terrain with little effort or trouble (doubly surprising since she was carrying extra weight), they made their way swiftly through the forest. More then once Berry thought it odd how expertly the two manage to avoid pit falls, uprooted roots, and whatever else the forest threw at them. As they made their way, those rumors began to seem more and more credible.

In all fact, it took the trio roughly three or four hours to pop out of the southern end of the forest. During which Berry began to wonder how it was that they had failed so utterly to remain hidden and silent when they had followed them into the forest (well, ok, they had been really good at it until one of them had suddenly shouted something). As it was, they had finally left the forest. And they had popped out next to the train tracks. Rather convenient, save that there was no train stop that they could see in either direction.

“Now what?” Berry asked.

The other two looked back and forth. Unsure as to which way the train was coming, Bon-Bon put her ear to the tracks. “I think the train's coming from the east, so it's headed west, to Dodge.”

“How far is it?” Lyra asked.

“Not sure, but I'd guess it'll pass by in less than an hour.” she said.

“So, we doin' this?” Lyra asked, looking at Bon-Bon with a twinkle of excitement in her eye.

Berry looked between the two with some confusion.

Bon-Bon let out a heavy sigh. “I guess we have no choice.”

“What are we going to do?” Berry asked.

Lyra, with a massive smile of joy, turned to her and said, “We're going to jump onto a moving train!”

Author's Note:

It has been a long wish of mine to be foalnapped...

Comments

[Iron Comet]

Colgate gets foalnapped. Did someone need a deep cleaning somewhere?