The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter Two: Part Fifteen

Chapter Two: Part Fifteen

“Oh bloody h-”

“BATTLE FORMATIONS!” Cherry cried out. Berry blinked. Battle wha? Her head whipped back to the mob and, to her great surprise, she suddenly saw the entire mass of them form ranks. Those holding torches formed a front line, followed by those who held pitchforks, followed by componies of those who had nothing.

“W-What the?!” Berry exclaimed. “W-Wait!” she cried as she saw Bon-Bon suddenly sprint to join the unhoofed ranks.

“No, Bon-Bon. You and your friends need to get to Deadmare.” Cherry said. Or, more accurately, ordered.

“Yes sir.” Bon-Bon saluted, turned about, and dashed back to one very surprised Berry, and one very, very smiley Lyra.

“Huh? Wha? But-huh?” Berry looked between her friends and the suddenly very professional-looking small army that had assembled (well, as professional any army can be when armed with standard mob attire).

“Come on Berry, we've got to get going!” Bon-Bon shouted.

“BON-BON! GET BEHIND RANKS!” Cherry ordered, then turning to the torch wielders, “FIRE!”

With one movement, the entire line drew back their hooves, and hurled a long arch of fire through the air at the five monsters that nearly bore down upon them. Many of the torches hit their marks, causing three of the terrible beasts to stagger in their terrible charge.

“PITCHFORKS, FORWARD!” Cherry commanded, and the torch bearers retreated into the rear ranks, with the pitchforks taking their place in front and bracing themselves for impact. Berry, watching all of this with a mixture of terror, and excitement, was amazed with the ease and precision with which the ponies followed her orders. The three of them had reached the rear of the small army, when they suddenly heard the sounds of the remaining two beasts ramming into the front line.

“HOLD FORMATION!” Cherry bellowed over the roar of the terrible creatures.

Berry looked towards the sounds of battle, and her mouth dropped almost to the ground. There, surrounded by ponies on every side, were two monstrous ponies! They were easily two or three times the normal size of regular ponies (full-grown stallions for that matter). They had what looked to be massive horns protruding from their foreheads and spikes protruding from their bodies (in the case of one of them, this was more figurative then literal, for its protrusions were shaped more like horns then little baby dragons), and one of them had what looked to be fire and smoke billowing from its massive mouth. Not only that, but they both had what looked to be massive wings coming from their backs. They let forth terrible roars that shook the ground and would have broken the bravery of almost any normal pony (had Berry not fallen into this category, she would have compared these roars to those of the various monsters she had seen in high-budget Applewood movies). As it was, Cherry's little army seemed to be made of tougher stuff, for, they wrestled fearlessly, and mightily, with the two beasts.

Berry, however, was not made of that tougher stuff. No, she was a fairly simple mare who was fairly normal (retched breath aside). So, after hearing those awful roars, what little courage she had left broke, and she bolted.

To say what happened immediately after that was all a bit of a blur, would be a bit of a mild understatement. All Berry knew was that she needed to not be anywhere near that battle. And so her legs pounded and pumped, and sped as fast as they could. Panic filled her mind and deafened her ears to Lyra and Bon-Bon's cries to stop. The only thing she knew, and understood, was flight from the awful sight. She actually made a respectable distance from the melee before the other two finally caught up to her, and tackled her to the ground.

“BERRY, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!” Bon-Bon shouted at her, pinning her legs.

Berry was unsure what came out of her mouth in response. She was pretty sure it was many half-words and unintelligible sounds. Most of which probably had something to do with fleeing, though no pony could be 100% sure.

“BERRY!” Bon-Bon gave her a good slap to knock some sense into her.

Berry blinked. It seems it worked. She looked at Bon-Bon and Lyra's faces, and the face of what looked to be a large air-born monstrosity that suddenly appeared in the air above them. Its face was vaguely griffin like and its forelegs ended in massive talons that were only hairs away from her friend's heads.

“BEHIND YOU!” Berry cried. Bon-Bon, with reflexes that would have made a cat envious, threw herself to the side and out of the clutching talon that would have grasped her head. Lyra however, was not quite so quick. The beast grabbed her and banked sharply, heading up.

“AH~!” Came Lyra's surprised cry, but not a moment later, her face went from surprise to a massively mischievous grin. “Watch where you're goin' ugly!” She cried out, her horn suddenly glowing brightly. The beast looked down at her, and Berry saw Lyra's magic suddenly grab its eyelids, and shut them rather hard. The beast let out a surprised cry, and brought its talons to its face, dropping Lyra in the process. Almost as if she had predicted this outcome, Bon-Bon was already in the air, ready to catch Lyra as she fell. Berry watched in amazement as the two landed with ease as the beast suddenly crashed into the ground. Before she could even finish standing up, the monster was suddenly swarmed with well-trained ponies.

Darting her eyes about, she saw nothing but chaos. In every direction around her, five terrifying monsters clashed with a venerable swarm of ponies. It was like watching ants battling monstrous termites. Ponies were sent flying every which direction, and despite their immense strength, the monsters were all but out-matched but the sheer tenacity and discipline of Cherry's army. She yelped and jumped aside as a colt was thrown from the combat, and landed directly where she had been standing. He hit with a loud thud, bounced a bit, then groaned in pain. Before Berry could reach out a helping hoof however, he was wrapped in unicorn magic, and jumped to his hooves, ready for more. He wasted no time in rejoining the fray, shouting a war cry as he charged into the melee.

“Berry!” She had no idea where the voice came from, there was too much noise around her. “BERRY!” it came, even louder, and this time she got a sense of where it was coming from (it's also worth noting that said voice had to compete with Ms. Jubilee's, for her voice could be heard as clear as a bell despite the combat. Berry had a sneaking suspicion that unicorn magic was involved).

Not far from her left side, Bon-Bon and Lyra charged towards her, both looking rather scuffed. “Berry, we gotta get outta here!” Lyra shouted over the din.

“YOU DON'T SAY?!” Might have been Berry's response if she had been feeling a little bit too sassy and sarcastic. Seeing however that she was neither, her response was more along the lines of, “HELP!”

“FOLLOW ME!” Bon-Bon bellowed, and banked sharply, and charged directly at the heart of the conflict.

“ARE YOU CR-”

“SHUT UP AND FOLLOW US!” Lyra cut Berry's objection off, and grabbed her right foreleg with a hard tug. Without thinking much, she obeyed and chased directly after Lyra. When they reached the very edge of the action, they paused for a moment. “GRAB MY TAIL! OWCH!” Lyra cried as Berry chomped down. Huh, it really was minty flavored...

Ahead, she saw Bon-Bon jump from one pony's back to another, and even the face of the odd beast, to end with an acrobatic flip over a sizable chunk of the battle.

“HERE WE GO!” Wait, was she seriou-

And quite suddenly, she felt herself lift off the ground as Lyra took a mighty leap onto the back of a nearby pony. Berry found herself airborne for a moment, and before gravity could take its hold, she was suddenly jerked another direction as Lyra took another leap. Jump after jump, leap after leap they made their way across the skirmish. Berry, quite scared, had shut her eyes and decided that she should continue to keep them closed until her hooves were safely on the ground, or until Lyra said to open them, or both. Preferably both. All around her she could hear the clash of hoof and tooth on each other, and the terrifying cries of the monstrous creatures as they struggled mightily against Ms. Jubilee's forces.

Then, all at once, she felt herself on the ground. Granted, she had more or less fallen there, but she had done so softly. She felt a deliberate tug from the tail that was thoroughly chomped between her teeth. She cracked one eye open. Before her stood Lyra, looking at her with a look expectation, and a bit of pain. Berry felt another deliberate tug. She let go, and got to her hooves.

“Alright, now that we're outta that mess, let's keep going!” Lyra said, panting ever so slightly.

“Agreed. The Brigade should be able to keep them busy while we escape.” Bon-Bon nodded, also slightly winded. Berry looked behind her. Indeed, the whole of the fighting was now behind them. She turned her head to see what was ahead of her. It was still a far way's off, but she could see the pit stop.

“Wait, Brigade? What? What's going on?! Escape?” Berry's eyes shot back and forth between everything there was to look at.

“I'll answer all of your questions when we're safe again, until then, come on, we've got to see if we can get that teleporter to work!” Bon-Bon said, and ran off, Lyra right on her hooves. Berry was more then frightened, but it seemed like these two knew what they were doing, so she decided to follow after them. They ran quite fast, and Berry had trouble keeping up, but managed all the same.

“Bon-Bon! We're not moving fast enough!” Lyra shouted.

“I know! I'm trying to figure out how to fix that little problem!” Bon-Bon shouted. Berry glanced behind her, and saw the reason for Lyra's alarm. While they were keeping them in check, it was clear that the monsters were doing all they could to chase after the three of them. It caused the entire battle to chase after them. Berry let out a small cry and faced forward once more, and began running with a bit more vigor. “Berry!” Bon-Bon turned to look at her. “I hate to ask this of you, but do you have any more of that drink you made? I think it's the only way we can make the distance we need before they break free!”

“B-But I-”

“I know! And I'm sorry to ask you to break your promise to Colgate like this, but it's the only way we can make it!” Bon-Bon cried, casting a glance behind her. Her eyes suddenly opened a bit wider, and her pace picked up.

“I-I-” Berry stumbled.

“This is an emergency Berry!” Lyra shouted.

“I,” Berry paused (in speech mind you, for she was most certainly still running at top speed), “I can't do it! I won't do it! I broke my word once, and I can't break her trust like that again! I just can't!” She yelled.

“Berry, that's very admirable of you, bu-”

“Give it to me!” Lyra said quite suddenly.

“Huh?” came both their replies.

“Remember? The wings?”

Bon-Bon and Berry exchanged glances. Oh yeah, Berry had totally forgotten about that. That would work, save there was one little problem...

“I don't have it! I-” Berry's words suddenly died as the bottle's fate hit her.

She had left it for the poor, hapless, tied-up bandits. Her eyes wide and mouth moving wordlessly, she glanced back. The battle was still raging with no sign of stopping, and it was clear that Cherry's forces were beginning to loose the upperhoof.

What in the name of Celestia had she done?

“Berry!” Bon-Bon's words knocked her out of her sudden revere. “Lyra's right! Giver her the bottle!”

“I don't have it! I left it for those ponies you tied up!”

“WHAT!?” came the rather hoarse cry from both Bon-Bon and Lyra. Well, ok, it was only a little hoarse, it was more loud and shocked then anything.

“Well, I couldn't just leave them there without something to drink in the hot sun!”

“BERRY! OF ALL THE THOUGHTLESS THING TO DO-”

“Bon-Bon!” Lyra interrupted her.

“Right, sorry, but still, you don't have it?!”

“No! And it's not like I can just wish it out of thin ai-”

And then it appeared out of thin air, right into poor Berry's face.

Understandably, the sudden impact made Berry loose her balance, and she tumbled head over hoof as she rolled to an ungraceful stop. Her head spun, and she found herself feeling that horrible headache from the train come calling once more. She stumbled to her hooves, and looked down at the ground. Sure enough, there it was, the bottle. It was nice and full for good measure as well.

“Berry! You ok?” Lyra said, skidding to a sudden halt.

“What happened?” Bon-Bon asked, also skidding to a sudden stop.

“I-I have the bottle...” she said, a bit stunned. She picked it up with her hoof, and looked at it. Sure enough, the exact same bottle. Not even a scratch on it save the “A.B.” that Berry herself had etched onto it. The bottle. It-it just appeared. How? That was impossible! It was gone! Sure, she had seen it refill itself, but this … this was something else all together. Then it began to dawn on her. Zecora. The Pinkie pile. The train. All of those times she had lost it, and all of those times it had reappeared in her possession. She hadn't noticed at the time, for her mind had been on other things, but now, the truth hit her right in the face.

She could summon the bottle at will.

Or was it that the bottle summoned itself? Berry dropped it suddenly at the thought. What had she made? What had she done? If only she had listened to Zecora in the first place (for she had told her that it was a foalish idea to make that thing)! If only she had done what she should have and never made the brew to begin with! If only-

Pop!

Her head whipped to the side as she suddenly saw Lyra chugging the thing wholesale.

“LYRA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THIS THING IS CURSED!” Berry cried out.

Lyra suddenly gagged as she drank, and dropped the bottle, causing brew to fly about and make a terrible mess all over the place. Seriously, who's gonna clean this up? These freaking ponies and their-

**Ahem**

Lyra coughed a few times, and gagged a little. “B-Berry! Don't sc-scare me like that!” Lyra coughed out. “I'm fine! I know what I'm doing!” She said, as her ears suddenly melted into her head. Berry let out a startled shout and stepped back several paces as Lyra's midsection began swelling to monstrous sizes and her limbs began melting into it, just like her ears. She watched on as her entire figure took on that rather disconcerting shape from the castle. She jumped a little when the wings simply popped out at the very end, almost as though they were an afterthought.

“Doesn't that hurt?” Both Bon-Bon and Berry asked in unison.

“Nah, not really. Feels weird, yeah, but not painful. But we gotta go!” she said, taking to the air. After a moment's hesitation, the other two hopped on. Not a moment too soon either, as a small cluster of ponies and one of the monsters suddenly crashed down upon where they stood. Lyra, having learned the lessons from the castle well (that is, her crash course in flying), was able to pick up much speed and leave the entire battle far behind them.

---

After many pulse pounding minutes, it slowly became clear that they were safe. Well, safe from the battle anyway. Berry let out a breath that she hadn't be aware she had been holding. Though it came right back when she had accidentally looked down.

“You guys alright?” Lyra asked.

“Yeah. We seem to be alright, for the most part.” Bon-Bon said.

Berry's gaze was fixed on just how high up they had come and just how fast they were going. In actuality, they were not all that high off the ground, but when one is used to having their hooves on said surface, such technicalities are somewhat meaningless. “Berry, look up.” Bon-Bon said calmly. “If you keep looking down, you'll only make it worse.”

“I-I, sure.” Berry said, peeling her eyes from the ground. Bon-Bon was right. If she just looked ahead, it wasn't nearly as bad. Still a little unsettling, but at least not as bad. “W-What was that!?” Berry asked. “What in Equestria happened? WHO ARE YOU GUYS?!” She asked, looking between the giant flying … Lyra-thing, and Bon-Bon.

Bon-Bon let out a sigh. “Well, I suppose we owe you even more answers, don't we?” Berry nodded. “Alright. So, where to begin. Well, I suppose explaining what the deal with Ms. Cherry was would be a good start.” She looked ahead to the distance. “I figure we have a fair bit of time before we reach the teleporter. Not quite enough time to explain everything, but at least a few things.”

“So, wait, what exactly is the plan? Mind telling me that first?” Berry said.

“Well, we reach the teleporter, activate it, and pull Colgate out. I had initially planned that we would just head to Deadmare and get some answers from the bandits hiding out there, then either leave with Colgate, or rescue her via stealth, that is, assuming that she's actually at Deadmare. But this is getting too big. I think the best idea is to just grab her, wherever she is, and head back to Ponyville. This is something the authorities, or even the Princess should handle.” Bon-Bon explained. “I sent Twi-Princess Twilight a letter explaining the situation this morning. So, hopefully she'll take this to the Royal Sisters and they'll take care of this.” She looked wistfully back towards the direction of Ponyville.

“That makes sense. And I guess Colgate and I can hunt down the brush once they've taken care of it.” Berry said, letting out a sigh. She was rather happy to hear that this would soon be over, though admittedly a little sad that they would have to wait for a little bit before they could continue her and Colgate's little adventure. After all, better to sit at home and wait for the Princesses to clear this all up, rather then risk becoming involved. “So, does that mean you guys'll stay behind in Ponyville?”

“I don't want to, but that's not really my call.” Lyra commented.

“I don't know. I suppose that would depend on where we're needed.” Bon-Bon, her voice slightly detached.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Berry asked.

If both Lyra and Bon-Bon had been ponies, they would have exchanged a glance, and then let out a collective sigh. Since that was not the case, only Bon-Bon let out a sigh.

“We … we haven't been completely honest with you Berry.” Bon-Bon began. “And … well, we still can't.” she said, looking somewhat pained.

“It's not like we don't want to be, it's just that...” Lyra added.

“We can't.” Bon-Bon finished for her.

Berry was one part surprised, two parts crestfallen. “Why?” She asked.

“I'm afraid we can't tell you that either. But … what we can tell you is that Lyra and I do more then just part-time work.” Lyra let out an audible 'ahem' when Bon-Bon said that last part. “Sorry, do more then have part-time and full-time jobs.” Had Lyra been a pony, she would have let out a somewhat smug smile at Bon-Bon's correction.

“So … do you work for the Princesses?” Berry ventured.

Bon-Bon's mouth pressed tightly as she considered her response. “No … well … not directly. And even then, only from time to time.”

“Bon-Bon?” Lyra said, her question sounding like a mild warning.

“Yes yes Lyra. I know. Don't worry.” she answered. “I won't divulge anything beyond what's okay.”

“Like what?” Berry asked before she could stop herself.

Bon-Bon looked at her with eyes both mildly unamused, and teasing. “Really Berry? You think I can answer that question?”

“Sorry, it just kinda shot out before I could stop it...” Berry blushed slightly.

“Anycase, I can tell you this. Both Lyra and I are part of an information network. I can't say what for or who's, just that we are one of many eyes and ears. And one of those we listen to, and watch, is Ms. Jubilee. You see, she does more then run a cherry plantation. She also maintains a very large information network. A network that Lyra and I are supposed to tap into. Ms. Jubilee however is aware of this. Luckily for us, both she and our employer are allies, and thus she allows us to do our job without much trouble.”

“So, you don't herd cats for her?” Berry asked.

“Well, yes. She does hire me to do actual labor. But 'herding cats' applies to both what I do for her plantation, and what we do for our other employer. And to clarify, yes, I do actually heard cats. It's a tough job, but somepony's got to do it.”

“And she's pretty good at it too!” Lyra chimed up.

“No better then anypony else I work with.” Bon-Bon shrugged.

“Ah, come on! You were hoof-picked! Don't be so modest!” Lyra countered.

“Anyway,” Bon-Bon said, waving a dismissive hoof, “that's not important.”

“Hey, Bon-Bon, what's all this have to do with Cherry having an army?” Berry asked.

“Very little actually.”

“That's not totally true...” Lyra added.

“Well … yes. It does have to do somewhat with why I work for her. You see, our employer wants us to, 'keep tabs', on her troops. The reason she has her little brigade is actually pretty simple.” Bon-Bon explained.

“Bandits?” Berry ventured.

Both Bon-Bon and Lyra blinked in mild surprise. Well, Lyra would have if she could have. “Y-Yes actually.” Bon-Bon stammered. “She has problems with bandit raids. Not only that, but the raids are usually really well organized, so anypony who works in her orchards is required to undergo some military training. Well, anypony who lasts longer then a single season. And since most of the town either has or works her orchards, most of the town has military training.”

“Oh...” was all Berry could manage. “So, why didn't you just say that to begin with and skip the whole spy thing?”

Bon-Bon's face suddenly looked as though it had been whacked with a board. “I-I don't know...” she mused, “I suppose I just wasn't thinking...”

Lyra let out a sigh, figuratively speaking of course. “Bon-Bon's got a good head on her shoulders, but sometimes it just kinda falls of, if you get my meaning.” Berry was pretty sure Lyra would have winked at her.

Bon-Bon cleared her throat. “Y-yes, anyway. The point is that we head to the teleporter, go in, grab Colgate, get out, head home, warn Twilight, and then await further orders.”

“We?” Berry asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, Lyra and I anyway. I guess you're free to do whatever you want.” Bon-Bon answered.

“So, did you guys follow us because you were ordered to?” Berry was suddenly very worried that she had become involved in something much, much bigger then she had ever wanted to.

“Actually, no.” Lyra said. “We pretty much did it 'cause we wanted to. I mean, it's not like we work for our boss all the time.”

“Really?” Berry looked at Bon-Bon.

“Pretty much.” Bon-Bon shrugged. “But with the recent turn of events, I'd be hard pressed to believe that our employer,” she stressed the word rather firmly, “wouldn't have orders for us.”

“Yeah, I suppose that makes sense, doesn't it?” Berry admitted. She was once again a little sad at the thought that she and Colgate would have to continue on alone, but at least now she understood why. “Well, what if your bo-” Bon-Bon gave her a hard look, “-employer wanted you guys to stick with us?” she asked, feeling a little hopeful.

“Then you'd be stuck with us until the boss says otherwise.” Lyra answered, getting a hard look from Bon-Bon. Berry smiled a little at this thought. She would be very glad for their compony, and hoped against hope that they would be ordered to stick with them, even if it meant that somepony (she assumed Princess Celestia, or would have if she was a conspiracy nut) would be basically spying on them.

“Hooves crossed, eh?” Berry said with a smile.

“I supp-Berry,” Bon-Bon's eyes suddenly shot wide open and she turned to look at her, “How many bandits did I tie up again?”

“Huh?” came Berry's confused response.

“At the pit stop, how many bandits did I tie up again? Was it 5?” Bon-Bon said with growing concern.

“No, I don't think so. Wasn't it...”

“6?” the both of them said at the same time.

The was a heavy pause.

“And how many monsters attacked us?” Bon-Bon's voice became a bit more intense.

“5...” Lyra responded.

“So … where's the 6th?” Berry asked, her voice quivering slightly.

Both her and Bon-Bon (and presumably Lyra) looked at each other, then ahead at the pit stop.

“May-Maybe the 6th one didn't take a drink?” Berry said with a high pitch to her voice.

Bon-Bon's face became hard, and her voice became dangerously low, “I very much doubt that...”

Author's Note:

Upon sharing this with a friend, they said to me: "Okay, now I'm officially afraid of Cherry!" But I was sad, because Cherry is a nice pony. Well, kinda sad. Sorta...in a sense.

Okay, okay ... I was immensely pleased. But that's beside the point! The point is that Cherry is actually a very nice pony. A nice pony who happens to have a professional army at her beck and call, and very massive international information network.

Also: I say 'colt', but I mean a full grown pony dude.

Comments

[redmar]

If those monsters are the result of Berry's drink I suspect that it somehow contains Chaos magic or that Discord tampered with it for fun. If Poison Joke is a creation of Discord than it's certainly the first and mixing something he created with somethinglike Heart's Desire will have unpredictable effects.