Not a Love Song
No, too sappy.
Too flowery.
Too flowery and sappy!
A groan escaped the writer as he ripped up the failed Love Note drafts and let his head fall into the pile of paper and his notebook. Why was this so hard?!
…Maybe it was because she was just so great it was hard to put into words? Or maybe because she just made him completely speechless even when trying to write? Or maybe it was because she was just too awesome and not into girly stuff like love notes?
Another groan escaped the blue haired boy as he tried to bury himself into the scraps of paper, he should never have allowed his friends to talk him into this.
“Still having trouble?” Came the voice of his best friend as she came to sit across from him. Huh…the bell must have rung and it was now lunch time, he’d wasted his whole free period.
“Hellooo! Earth to Soarin’! You still in there, buddy?”
He finally lifted his head to look at the fiery haired girl, “What, Spit?”
Spirfire rolled her eyes, “Dude, you’re so out of it.” She giggled goodheartedly, “I asked if you still having trouble and needed any help?”
Soarin’ huffed, “Yes I’m still having trouble and no I don’t need help…I want this to come from me and only me.”
“Mmm..Nothing wrong with getting some advice though…Maybe ask one of her friends?”
“And have it somehow get back to her?! No! I can’t do that.” He sighed laid his head back down, “I can’t do this. Writing her a note to leave in her locker? That so…cliché!!”
Spitfire shrugged, “Then write her something else. Like a love song.”
A groan escaped him as he buried his head into his arms, “I don’t think that would work. I don’t think a love anything would…”
“Okay…then write her a not love song. That can’t be so hard, you’ve been hanging out a lot lately and..”
He tuned his best friends voice out as an idea started to form in his brain. “That’s it!” He exclaimed, jumping from his seat starling other students as ripped paper fluttered around him, “Spit, you’re a genius!” He was then running toward the doors.
“Sure!” Spitfire shouted after the bluenette, “But don’t you wanna eat?”
“Already did!” And then he was gone.
~*~*~*~*PSS*~*~*~*~
Later that same day, after school was out and the only people left on campus were teachers, the principals and the few students that had clubs or sport practice, found the blue haired boy in the band room, notebook in hand, trying to write a ‘not’ love song.
Spitfire really was a genius, the moment she suggested a love song that wasn’t one had sparked an idea in his head that he had to work on quickly. Of course he was still getting stuck trying to put the words into lyrics. The chorus was at least semi thought out…now for the rest.
“You’re always on my mind, I think about you all the time….Ugggh!! No! Too mushy again.”
Soarin’ banged his head onto the piano keys, creating a very loud and mashed up sound, in frustration. Why was this so hard?! Was writing a song always this hard? Why oh why did he have to get a crush on the most difficult girl to write a song for?! Okay…sure she was cute, really cute, and funny, and smart, and sassy, and fun and just well….awesome.
He sighed again and rested his elbows on the piano keys, making more unpleasant tones in the air; he had to get this right…but what could he do to make this sound right without it being mushy?
He began humming out the chorus again trying to get his brain to come up with the right lyrics to get his point across without it being overly sappy…cause then it wouldn’t be a ‘not’ love song. However unknown to the enamored boy he had attracted a slight audience.
“W-what do you think he’s d-doing in there?” Asked a shy voice on the other side of the door.
“Why, Darling! Isn’t it obvious? He’s trying to write someone a song. How romantic~” Cooed another, in a hushed voice.
“Yeah…but who do you think it is?” Asked a third, leaning in a bit closer to try to catch the lyrics.
Rarity giggled suddenly as she tried to contain her giddiness, she’d been waiting to bring this up, “Oh~ I might just have an idea~!”
“R-really?” Fluttershy asked, backing away slightly as the other girl began to dance in place.
Sunset raised an eyebrow as she watched Rarity practically burst from the seams, “Who?”
The fashionista grinned brightly as she clasped her hands behind her back, “Ooooh~ Maybe a certain brash, tomboyish lead guitarist of ours~? They have been hanging around each other quite a bit lately.”
The once bad girl fell into thought before gasping, “They totally have now that I think about it!”
“I know~!” Rarity squealed quietly, “Have you seen the way he’s been looking at her~! Quite the smitten kitten.”
“B-But t-that doesn’t mean h-he’s writing a-a song f-for her…” Fluttershy said softly.
“Sorry, Fluttershy, but I’m with Rarity on this one,” Said Sunset, “I think it is for her.”
Rarity flicked a bit of hair over her shoulder, “It also helps that his friend, Fleetfoot I believe?, Told me he has a massive crush on her.”
“O-oh…” The pinkette fell quite, “…S-should we tell Dash?”
“Goodness no! He has to tell her…or well sing it to her.”
Sunset nodded, “I agree. We’ve gotta let him do it.”
“Exactly! With maybe a little help.”
“Help?” The other girls asked.
“Yes.” Rarity said firmly, “The boy is obviously having trouble writing something and he hasn’t even put music to it. So I say we offer our assistance. Let him write the song but we’ll write the music and of course he’ll need someone to play while he serenades Rainbow~” She giggled as she spun, just thinking of the romantic scene, “Oh it’ll be so romantic~!”
Sunset shook her head slightly, “Even if we convince AJ to help”, Pinkie wouldn’t be a problem, “Dash will get suspicious if we start practicing without her.”
“Oh, she won’t notice. She’s going to be on the soccer field all week getting ready for tryouts.” Rarity said waving her hand, “Trust me.”
“Alright, fine. I’m in.” Sunset smirked.
“I-I guess am too…”
“Perfect~ Now let us tell Rainbow’s prince know of our plans~” And with a flourish she pushed the band rooms doors open.
~*~*~*~*PSS*~*~*~*~
“Arrrg!!!” Rainbow Dash cried in frustration, kicking her soccer ball right toward the unguarded goal. A week! It had been a week since something funny had started among her friends. She knew they were keeping something from her and what was worse they kept making up excuses not to hang out. Another worse part of the week was that she barely got to hang out with Soarin’ either. He was acting almost as weird as her friends only he kept getting all flustered around her for some reason. She wanted to know why no one would tell her anything!! Even the rest of the soccer team wouldn’t tell her! Okay sure…most of them claimed they didn’t know what going on but she was sure Spitfire and Fleetfoot did.
She huffed again and crossed her arms, she didn’t like this. At. All.
“Aww, don’t worry, Dashie-Washie!” Exclaimed Surprise, scaring Rainbow as she popped up and hugged her from behind, “I’m sure Soary will let you know what he’s doing soon~”
The girl with the rainbow hair sighed, “I donno….and are you sure you’re not related to Pinkie?”
“Nope~!”
The blonde then bounced happily away back over to the varsity soccer team, who were sitting on the other end of field. Dash rolled her eyes and jogged over to grab her ball before returning to her spot to continue firing shots at the goal.
“Hey!” Surprise called, popping up again, “Come sit with us! Fire says you should take a break.”
The tomboy shrugged her shoulders, “Sure.”
“Hey, Baby~ Come sit next to me~” A streaked blond haired boy said, patting the place next to him. Dash merely gave Lighting a flat look before sitting next to a girl with blue streaked hair in a ponytail. Said girl giggled softly before laying her head on Rainbow’s shoulder.
“I’m glad you decided to join us, Dash.” Fire Streak, twin brother of Lightning Streak, said as he handed her a water bottle.
“Eh, no big.” Dash said, taking a gulp of water, “You can only kick a ball at the goal so many times before it gets boring...”
“Ah, stop being such a downer!” The red-headed Blaze said, “Pie-Lover will eventually stop being secretive…Maybe.”
“You are so supportive.” Came the sarcastic reply of High Winds.
Blaze laughed, “Ah, Windy. You’re too sweet~”
A sigh escape Dash as she watched the two friends, she was really starting to miss hers (Not that she’d ever admit it), and it was really starting to piss her off that they were keeping something from her, “You know…I think I’m gonna head home now, I’m dying to beat the one stupid level in Abyss.”
Misty Fly frowned at her, seeing though the tough front, but let her get up. The silent girl then hopped up and followed her friend, grabbing her arm and smiling widely.
Dash gave her a small smile, “Thanks, Misty.”
The two made their way into the school, shortly followed by the rest of the team. Dash found herself sinking into her thoughts again before something started to reach her ears.
“Hey,” She said, stopping and cocking her head to the side, “Do you hear that?”
There was a faint sound of music filtering through the halls from the gym. Misty Fly nodded before grabbing Rainbow’s hand and dragging her toward the gym, followed by Surprise, The Streak twins, Blaze, High Winds, Wave Chill and Rapidfire. The music began to become louder and soon they were gently opening the doors to find out who was performing.
What they saw made Dash’s mouth drop. It was her band, her friends, up on the stage playing an unknown song. What also made it worse was that Soarin’ was also in on it and singing said song. Dash also saw off to side Flash Sentry, Spitfire and Fleetfoot listening to the song…well the first two were listening, Fleet was apparently dancing.
It was then Dash finally tuned into the song…
“What a guy….What a guy! ….I love the things you do it’s how you do the things you love. The way you say it, put me through it, I guess I always knew it.”
Rainbow tilted her head to the side, that was…an interesting song. ‘Not a Love Song’ huh?
Eventually the song ended and the audience of three clapped and their conversation drifted to the eavesdroppers.
“That sounded great.” Said Spitfire.
Soarin’ blushed, “Ah…I don’t know…Something’s missing…”
Fleetfoot giggled, “How about the girl you’re supposed to be singing that too~”
Dash’s magenta eyes widen…He..he liked someone?
“Oh no!” He cried, “I-I’m not ready to do that!”
“Oh come on. You’ve been practicing all week. You can do it, Dude.” Flash said, leaning against the stage.
“Yeah! You can do it!” Cheered Pinkie.
The rainbow haired girl frowned, that’s right, he was using her band and apparently this practice was why she hadn’t seen them all week. And crush on the or not, one simply did not use The Rainbooms without her notice. She pushed the doors open with a bang, causing most of the team to fall in a heap and glared at the group.
“Yeah…Wanna explain why you’re using my band?” She asked, anger clear in her voice.
“R-Rainbow Dash!” Soarin’ cried, blushing brighter.
“Hi Dashie!!!” Cried Pinkie and Fleetfoot.
“Darling, It’s not what you think…” Rarity called out.
“Well?” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow as she spun her ball around in her hands.
“Uh…well…um…you see…” Soarin’ stuttered.
Misty Fly giggled before grabbing Dash and pushing her toward the stage, despite her confused protests. She stopped right in front of the stage and held her friend still before looking up at Soarin’.
“Might as well sing it to her now~” She chirped happily in her light voice.
Dash felt herself blush brightly as Soarin’ started to freak out, “What?! No! No, no, no! I-it’s not-! I’m not-! Not now!!!”
“W-wait…” Dash said shakily, suddenly catching on, “T-that song’s…f-for me?!” Her voice made an embarrassing crack at the end that caused her to blush lightly.
Soarin’ turned a brighter red, “Uhhhhhh….”
Fleetfoot giggled at the scene, “Who else would it be for~?”
“Fleeeeet!”
“What?” She smirked.
Dash, after taking a deep breath, suddenly pitched her soccer ball at Soarin’, who luckily caught it with his quick reflexes, “Well….are you going to sing this song to me or not?” She turned her head to the side, acting as if she didn’t care one way or the other as a hand unconsciously began playing with a stand of hair. She wouldn’t live it down if they found out she was actually kind of, sort of interested to hear the full song.
Soarin’s green eyes widen in shock for a moment before he nodded dumbly. He slowly got into his place and took a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, as his team all took seats to watch the show. Misty Fly stood next to Rainbow, clapping excitedly as Dash eyed him from the corning of her eye, still acting aloof. It was apparently now or never.
A quick gulp and Soarin’ cued the band to begin, looking right at Rainbow Dash as he began to sing. It was the most nerve wracking three minutes of his life and he wasn’t sure how he got though it with his heart going a 3 miles per minute but he did and now Dash was staring at him. Magenta eyes wide but face otherwise blank beside the blush. The bluenette hopped off the stage and nervously approached his crush, who still hadn’t said anything.
“Uh…soo…” Soarin’ began, scratching the back of his head.
“Can we talk?” She finally asked.
He nodded numbly before she grabbed his hand and dragged him out the gym and slightly down the hall so the eavesdroppers hopefully wouldn’t hear. Soarin’ kept his eyes averted when they stopped and she took her hand away to cross her arms.
“So…You…wrote that for me huh?”
He looked up and blinked at her, her face turned away again but blushing, “Y-yeah…”
Rainbow Dash looked at him as she smirked, “Not a Love Song, huh.”
“Well..uh..yeah…” He suddenly began to ramble, “I wanted to write you a love note and leave it your locker but that’s just so cliché and you’re really not the type I can see liking a love not. Not that you’re not worth it of course! So then Spitfire suggested a love song but that’s kind of that same thing, so she said a ‘not’ love song and I thought that was perfect and I starting writing it and then somehow your friends found out and offered to help and I was gonna wait till it-!”
Oh…so that’s what it felt like to be kissed by Rainbow Dash. His arms found their way around her waist and he pulled her closer before they broke apart, “That’s…one way to tell me to shut up. Spitfire usually just hits me.”
Rainbow Dash began to giggle as her head fell against his chest before right out laughing and he eventually joined her. Their laughter died down and she looked up at him, chin resting on his chest, “So you really like me huh?”
“Well…yeah. A lot.”
She grinned that mega watt smile she had, “Good. Cause I guess I kind of like you too…you goof.”
“I gathered.” Soarin’ grinned back at her.
Dash rolled her eyes before bouncing up and down slightly, “So can I hear it again?!” It was kind of exciting, and completely awesome, knowing someone wrote a song just for her.
Soarin’ smiled, “Of course! We were even gonna record it for ya..if you…you know liked it.”
“Oh but I don’t.” He flashed her a confused look, “I love it~ Thanks.” That completely cute blush was back as she smiled at him.
He grinned back before leaning and kissing her nose, “You’re welcome…Girlfriend~”
“Come on.” Dash said, rolling her eyes playfully, he was such a dork, “Boyfriend~”
They went back and opened the gym doors to be met with a high pitched scream from Rarity as she saw they’re clasped hands, Pinkie and Surprise declaring they needed to have a party now and the rest of their friends congratulating them. All it all it was a nice beginning to the weekend and possibly an even longer amount of time.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- SuicidalAngel · 20k words · 103 8 · 5.7k views
- Sweet_Harmony · 28k words · 88 11 · 4.4k views
- Night Flight · 41k words · 64 9 · 3.1k views
- Scquishiey · 17k words · 79 3 · 3.5k views
- Bluegrass Brooke · 1.6k words · 96 3 · 4.2k views
- Luvbuttonmash · 19k words · 112 11 · 5.6k views
- Sunsetsparkle129 · 6.5k words · 67 8 · 4.5k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.337 seconds
Total duration
958 users online
1,960,925 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This was a fun story. I'm going to go ahead and give it a thumbs up, assumming that you'll go back and fix some of the glaring grammatical issues. Specifically, the ones pertaining to your dialogue. Remember, if a quote has a dialogue tag, then the dialogue itself is not a sentence fragment, and should not end in a period, nor should the following fragment be capitalized. Also remember: not all sentences surrounding dialogue should be used as dialogue tags.
For example:
Should be: “Still having trouble?” came the voice of his best friend as she came to sit across from him. "Came the voice . . ." is not a complete sentence, and is therefore a dialogue tag, and a part of the sentence before.
"Spitfire rolled her eyes" and "She giggled goodheartedly" are complete sentences, and should not end in a comma.
Again, "Rarity said firmly" is not a complete sentence, while "The boy is obviously . . ." is, so this sentence should read: "Yes," Rarity said firmly. "The boy is obviously having trouble writing something and he hasn't even put music to it."
Another thing I would do, just for aesthetic appeal, is take out all your unnecessary "filler words". Referring back to the examples above, I would change the "still having trouble" sentence to something like: "Still having trouble?" came his best friend's voice as she sat across from him. See what I did there? I took out the words the, of, came, and to without losing any meaning and making this a clearer, stronger sentence.
Also, an ellipses consist of three consecutive periods, not two, not four. You had a lot of ellipses in here, most of which were done correctly, but several that weren't.
I could go on, but that's enough for you to look over for now. If you need any help, there are plenty of groups that are literally dedicated to helping people fix their grammatical errors. They help big time, trust me.
Great story Really enjoyed it. You need to work on 'showing not telling' but otherwise very well done.
I loved it! Just the grammatical errors and you should be fine.
That was a great shipping fic. I haven't seen many good one lately. Probably just me. Anyway, great job, and for a first fic, that was very well executed. Hope to see more of you in the future.
(Only problem: the cover art. People see ponies on cover art, they assume that it's a pony story despite the tags. People see humans on the cover art, they assume that it's a human story despite the tags.)
I love how you used Calm Wind's characteristics for the Wondercolts.
It was also really cute how Misty wasn't deaf, but just really quiet.
5239596
Haha~! Thank you~! I totally didn't mean for them to come out that way but they did (as I'm still working on my own headcanons for them) And yeah, personal headcanon for Misty is she's quiet/acts mute because "You'd be surprise at how much work you can get out of if everyone thinks you can't talk~!"
Misleading picture. I thought it was horses XD. I know it was in the tags but there are a lot of people who jump right into it.
Awwwwwe!!! So sweet!!!
Sort bad sweet and simple!!!
5240741
Yeeah...I don't have a proper cover yet,
5240898
Haha, that was actually the inspiration song XD
5241170 dont worry though this is my oppinion. Plus this is a great story :D. Try deviantart. They have a ton of soarindash pics.
That Was So Cute !
5244672
Thank you~!
I am pretty awesome
(Hasn't read)
SO TRUE
I made a poem for my crush
I couldn't help it
So silly yet I love it.
sweet and short and a bit mushy but hey just came to say nice short story, I see that lot's of other ponies (people) have already told you that it's similar to Ross Lynch's song called Not A Love Song
OMG I love the story!
Can u put a part on when they have their first kiss if you are making a sequel?
Well.......... It's declared that dating Rainbow Dash makes sure you have plenty of drama......
5993052 They kiss only a few lines before the end of the story. Twice, if you count the peck on the nose that Rainbow gets afterward.
THIS IS SOO KEWL
OMG! 
MAKE A SEQUEL PLZ
OML. that was amazing.
Yep, rarity is TOTALLY a soarindash SHIPPER, just like me
