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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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very good. Great job
Good start. Can't wait to read the next chapter. I just have to ask one question. Does anyone else notice the hints of Twilight Princess?
I mean come on sword, shield, and a wolf. The only thing missing is the wise cracking imp.
Nice job with this chapter.
I don´t remember my problems with the first chapter, but i really like this chapter.
I started to like it, that he was hiding his ability to speak, but even if i think he spoke to early it is still good. To be honest, there is nothing bad with it i just liked it that he was a bit silent at first, i think i like it if such characters start to.....?......to give sb. the runaround (this time i doesn´t knew how to write it correct.)
5351218 To be honest i can´t really stop to think of Zelda, and even if the most people don´t like it, Twilight princess was probably the first Zelda on a Big Console i really finished, after that i finished a few more like Ocarina of time.
5351218
5352158
I will be honest with both of you link is involved in this story but I am not telling anymore so please wait and enjoy
Wolves do not have retractable claws
Reading most of this story just makes me think "why?"
And now we wait for the next chapter.......
5352717 sorry some info I read about wolves said they have retractable claws so that's why and again sorry
Can't think of anywhere that would say that...
Canids; dogs, wolves, foxes, jackals, coyotes and any other dog-like animal (Plus Cheetah's) all have fixed claws. Useful for digging dens and such.
Not good for grabbing onto prey or climbing trees.
Wolves etc, will pretty much exclusively use their teeth to attack their prey, using their paws to push away, letting them rip off flesh with their teeth.
Generally I find there are parts of the story that progress way to quickly Or face-palm worthy plot developments/no logic: How is he so quickly adapted to this body. How is he still alive (Getting impaled with a large piece of glass and falling off a mountain should at least slow him down). Mare in the moon redux (could it get any more original?)
I am overlooking the fact that it is Anthro which i generally despise, but that I can ignore.
Admittedly it has some good moments. Eating Tia's cake and everything after NMM got zapped was written very well for the most part.
5352807 Listen I know you don't like some parts of my story but I can't please everyone. Anyway this story is something that I thought of it isn't real in a way its like pinkie pie how she dose the impossible. So a wolf climbing a tree is not out of the question besides he has the brains of a human only stuck in a wolf body ok. Also he woke up at noon the next day after he fell off the waterfall at dusk and it took him two days to learn how to walk and also heal his injury so I don't see what the problem is with that.
Im not trying to insult your story, but am rather just pointing out/criticising things that I thought were a bit off to me. (Guess I am quite picky, and just wanted to say something about the claws, but got carried away)
Overall I kind of liked the story, but I would rather give my opinion on the things I don't really like than to not say anything at all.
Its only my opinion. Nothing more.
Just one question.
Is the main character (Ash) Anthropomorphic or an actual wolf?
5353167 he is a normal wolf but not for long.
i have a problem why did it take for ever poor old been waiting every day for this to come
cant wait for next chapter
i feel so lonely talking to my self in the comments below notice me sempai
5354215 sorry editing is a pain in the butt right now but don't worry i am working on it most of the time because I have work so don't worry you will get your chapter also Twilight princess is my favourite Zelda game so you rule.
you shall now have another follower
qestiion iiis he like the battell wolf?https://www.google.com.pr/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftoriko.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FFile%3ABattle_Wolf_Anime.png&ei=HJ6LVO7TFoywggTUp4HYDA&bvm=bv.81828268,d.cWc&psig=AFQjCNFSgLDhqAPoijzo1_2JOaiMbdntxw&ust=1418522386968429
Battle wolf what do you mean?
No offense, but I really don't like stories that have the two princesses act omnipotent. It's not that your story is bad, its just annoying when that happens in stories. It's akin to my loathing for advertising Christmas before thanksgiving. Just... Why?
5378946 glad you like it. Also no offense taken but, like so many before you I have said I am trying to please everyone but I can't so I hope you understand.
Super strong speed faster than lightning a king in wolfs form.
No sorry he is fast and strong but he isn't a battle wolf
ok
Another nice chapter. A lot better than the first one :P
Is he canis exeo cage
5701230 yes Canis Exo cage. Love dastory
I love it only two problems you need to use these " you forgot a lot of these and the other problem is that this story is to good and I'm officially hooked well I'm going to stay up to 5 in the morning reading thanks
Thank god this isnt gonna be some anthro on feral shit...idk, this wolf thing is weird for me so im gonna stop here, sorry. But this seems just a bit interesting still so feel free to spoilnme the whole story. See if im interested. Im gonna go read something better, sorry, this is your first story after all.
6245034 For a first story its amazing! They are only going to get better dude, so the future is looking bright!
Jesus fucking Christ, people can react to new information without being awed by it. I detest when people write characters like that, it's lazy, bland, and tries too hard to sell whatever's happening. Let your characters be more expressive, and let me decide if I think something is awesome.
They use hooves and hands to pick things up...? That's some odd anthro ponies...
6966870 and how does a wolf with paws tie a knot, with his teeth
I can't, I just... No. Maybe it gets better later on, maybe this is the best story ever, but I can't. I'm done. Too many errors, too many cringe inducing moments, so I'm done. I'm sorry.
7554065 I have never read this story before but I know for a fact it gets better, not just plot but less errors, less cringe, you learn from your mistakes and seeing as how this is a 30000+ word story if it is still at this level of errors at the end I'm a mouse....
7554065 It is not the best of stories at the moment, but it's likely to become well written. I mean, I'm an editor, and the first person I edited for was called Raumo. Early on, the story was so poorly written that reading it was like going through hell for grammar and punctuation freaks like me, but by the 15th chapter, it was actually fairly decent in its writing. By the final chapter, I had stopped editing, due to both my laziness and them not needing quite as much editing. People most certainly get better over time with their writing.
5379711
God this brings back some memories... Hell if I remember this was one of the first stories I had Favorited ever since I became a brony... I also remember how hyped I would get anytime I saw your story get updated. Your story is truly a masterpiece that I have ever had the pleasure of reading.. Also good job on the sequel so far!
i have many theories on why ponies can get cutie marks, but most of them revolve around being born in equestria or being related to the pony species. for example, if a minotaur or a griffon with an earth pony parent were born in equestria, they could get a cutie mark. however, a certain episode disproved me of this. perhaps it is just an affinity to the magic of order, but clearly the main character is rather chaotic, appearing out of nowhere.
so, if, according to this story, a canis lupus born/reborn in equestria can get a cutie mark, then what is the author's position on this rather confusing part of pony society?
by chapter 2 the story went straight into my favourites
The only bit of foreshadowing to this was when, in one line, he thought out loud. There was no indication before now that he could talk, and he gave no reaction to talking the first time he talked (which is very distracting now that I know it wasn't an error).
BREAK
UP
YOUR
PARAGRAPHS
INTO
READABLE
CHUNKS
His presence changed basically nothing. How lovely.
I question her intellect if it takes her this long to figure out where the blood came from.
Is Luna not going to speak up? She's literally Nightmare Moon.
Up until now, we've only followed Ash, making this change of view very out-of-place.
Wait, so if I go up to a girl and ask what their cutie-mark is, I can basically get them to lift up their skirt.
Nah.
THANOS: *SNAP*
me agrada este personaje, por ahora
How tall is he? The wolf I mean.
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A standard grey wolf
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I always see him as a dire wolf.
My god, that question and answer segment with Twilight and Ash was more akin to a lightning round. So many questions and answers were fired even i couldn't keep track.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around ANTHRO characters in the first chapter of FIM.
How would Luna, know who he is ? She just got back from 1000 years of exile.