Derpy swooped around once to check for Gayleās snooping before entering Karynās apartment. Seeing the artist busy working on a new canvas, she figured that the combination of walls and distraction would be safe, so she entered and said, āGood morning!ā
āAnd to you,ā replied Karyn.
āYouāre looking much more awake this week. Or is that yourā¦?ā
āIāll never tell. Except you. Itās all me today.ā
Derpy grinned. āThatās great. That means youāre getting into your classes and still being able to get up.ā
āYes. Itās really intense learning, but so far Iām still finishing all my work.ā
āGood, but because youāre dressed wellāā
Karyn went to check herself in the mirror one more time, but then turned back. āOh, tell me whatās gone on in Equestria since last week!ā
Derpy showed a momentās confusion, because it was unusual for Karyn to ask, but she answered anyway. āWell, let me see, on my last mail delivery route, one of the ponies needed to give me a letter to mail, which is fine by the mail codes, but he didnāt have a stamp, so he tried to just hand me a bit, which isnāt fine by the mail codes. So he asked me if I could buy the stamp for him at the post office, and while thatās technically not allowed, itās not forbidden either, so I said yes. But then the next day when I brought him the changeābecause a stamp doesnāt cost a whole bit, of courseāhe wanted me to keep it, and taking tips is a major violation. He was very insistent, so what I did was to drop it into one of the charity bins that were around. If I do that, I figure it counts as him donating it and I never took the tip, right?ā
āYes, but actually, what I was talking about was, you know, unicorn, magic, humans?ā
āOh! Lyra and her human are pretty much the same. Theyāre having their usual tiff with Bon-bon about whether either they or she should move out, but I think they talked about putting an addition on their house, so they wouldnāt need to do that.ā
Karyn raised her hand to interrupt again. āNo, I actually meant to ask if youād gotten any further figuring out why Colgate acted so oddly last week. But thatās my fault. I should have been clearer.ā
āOh. Well, I wanted to follow her around to see if she did anything weird, but she stayed mostly at home. I think she definitely got a weird reaction from that spell she tried to cast, but itās probably something she canāt explain to me as a pegasus. Still, if I do run into her I want to ask her straight out. If itās something she needs to keep secret, then I want to know about it for sure.ā
āIsnāt that the way with secrets? But weāll table that for now.ā
Derpy looked at Karynās breakfast table. āWeāll do what?ā
āYou donāt have that expression? It means to put something down on the table to be picked up later. Metaphorically. Whatās weird is that thereās another country that speaks the same language that I do, and over there the expression means to put it on the table to discuss it.ā
Derpy just stared.
āWhat?ā
āAre you pulling my hoof?ā
āNo, I promise. But itās funny that you have that expression and not the other one. In any case, what I mean is that we wonāt deal with it now, but we wonāt forget about it either.ā
Derpy nodded, and then said, āWell, since weāre not going to worry, I can reveal the really good news.ā
āGood news? Letās hear it.ā
āWell, Iāve got it all set up with everypony. We are going to Cloudsdale!ā
Karyn started to say something, but Derpy kept going, sound like the announcer for a game show.
āWeāll check out the weather factory, and you can even take home some rainbow juice! Iād let you take home some cloud too, but, you know, you canāt carry it. Oh! And we can visit the Columnseum!ā
āDonāt you mean the Coliseum? And isnāt it the Cloudiseum there?ā
āOf course thereās the Cloudiseum, but thatās where competitions and things happen. Iām talking about the place where they make all the columns. Cloudsdale uses a lot of columns, in all sorts of styles.ā
Karyn flashed back to the one episode where Rarity and Rainbow Dash competed in the flight competition. There were a lot of columns, she remembered, and made a note to ask why.
āAnd then, of course, the highlight of the day,ā Derpy continued. āWhich is my house! Youāll get to see how I lived when I lived among the other pegasi. Sadly, I didnāt always have the best neighbors, but the house is there and we can see it all andā¦you canāt go, right?ā
Derpy had seen Karynās lack of excitement on her face.
āIām sorry, I want to go, butāā
āWe are never going to get there, are we? No, itās funny, really. Itās just like when we wanted to take the train trip to the ocean, but we either couldnāt find the time or the money. But we got there eventually.ā
āYeah, but not I feel bad,ā said Karyn. āIām sure you had to pull a lot of strings to get us into all those important places.ā
āNo, not really.ā
āI donāt mean actual strings. Do they use a lot of strings in Cloudsdale?ā
Derpy grinned. āNo more or less than anywhere else. And thatās not a pony expression, but Iāve read it on the Internet. Itās all right, really. But tell me whatās going on that you canāt come with?ā
āOne of my cousinās friends is getting married today. I got invited. My parents are going too. Itāll be fun.ā
āYou know that we could pull the time trick. We could spend the entire day in Cloudsdale and youāll still have time for the wedding.ā
Karyn shook her head. āIād be dead tired by the time we finished. Itās a noon wedding, and everyone will notice if Iām yawning during the vows.ā
āWe could go to Cloudsdale, then you could take a nap at my house. If you really want, Iāll find a unicorn to use the cloud-walk spell, then you can take your nap on a cloud.ā
āThat sounds like the most decadent thing possible. But that would age me an entire day. Iāve got to watch that. When itās my next birthday, it wonāt be my next birthday.ā
Derpy pulled out a piece of paper from her saddlebag and asked Karyn for a pen. She ran it down the paper and said, āWell, thereās nothing here that we canāt postpone. Ha, it makes sense that we canāt do things on time, since Iām a mail mare.ā
āWhat do you mean?ā
āIām a post-pony.ā
Karyn was speechless for a few moments as she digested the pun. Once she recovered, she said, āWeāll definitely find time to do all that. In the meantime, Iāve got the wedding to go to, which will be in a banquet hall. High ceilings, lots of room. Iām sure youāll be joining me.ā
āI would have even if it were in a tight closet.ā
āOf course.ā
They had breakfast, and afterwards Karyn said that she should try on dresses for the wedding. āItās important that I donāt look too good so as to outshine the bride or the bridesmaids, but at the same time I obviously want to look goodā¦just to look good.ā
āAnd I think we know what that means.ā
Karyn took her into the bedroom. āOne of the advantages of having these blackout curtains is that I can do all my evil enchantress sorcery witchery back here and Gayle canāt spy. The green light doesnāt show.ā
āAll right, where do you start?ā
āI think withā¦earrings.ā
Karyn looked at a mirror and focused. She tried several different styles from studs to hoops. Derpy critiqued each one and suggested that she go as simple as possible. āIf they dangle down, they can get caught in your hair.ā
āI donāt think that holds with fake changeling earrings, but Iāll follow your advice. Now, letās pick out a dress.ā
Derpy acted distracted for a moment, but Karyn was too intent on her magical dress-up to pay attention. When she had finally picked out a dress, she looked back to see Derpyās smile.
āIt looks good.ā
āSee, where this works is that I can wear a light sundress like this in the cold, and I can actually wear a warm pair of pants and a shirt.ā
āClever,ā said Derpy, with a hint of conspiracy in her voice.
āSo, are you ready to get invisible and go?ā
āBut I want to wear a pretty dress too!ā
Karyn blinked. āYou do? I guess thatās all right, even though no one will see it.ā
Derpy grinned and stuck out her tongue. To Karynās shock, a green light appeared in front of Derpy, and then she stood in a party dress.
āWhat theāhow? You got them too?ā
She held a straight face for a moment, but Derpy couldnāt keep it up. āNo, I just cheated. I got a green flashlight and waved it around, then zapped back to Equestria, put on this dress, went back to the same spot, and came back without any time passing. Itās a completely real dress.ā
āYou got me on that one.ā
āHow are we getting to this wedding anyway?ā
āJust driving,ā said Karyn. After Derpy got invisible, they walked out to the car. She typed the address into the GPS on her phone and then handed it to Derpy. āYou be the navigatrix. The directions here donāt have voice instructions.ā
āGot it. Step one, turn on the car.ā
āYou can just wait until I get on the highway.ā
Once they were cruising, and Derpy told Karyn what the exit to take was, she spaced out for a while. āThis will be the first wedding Iāve been to in a long while.ā
āSince your own?ā
āNo, I went to the one between Shining Armor and Princess Cadance.ā
āOh, yes,ā said Karyn. āI remember seeing you there a couple of times. How did you get an invitation to that anyway?ā
āThat was a long time ago, let me see if I can remember. Thatās right, I didnāt!ā
āNo invite? You crashed the party?ā
āI guess. A lot of ponies just showed up and took whatever role was there. I think even Lyra showed up and tried to be a bridesmaid, and she didnāt even know Cadance very well.ā
Karyn realized that there was a connection with that event. āAnd it was there that the changelings first showed up.ā
āWas it? I think I was hiding away during that. I do remember that the wedding was delayed a while. But then again, I was pretty spacey back then. I probably wouldnāt have noticed a changeling invasion.ā
āThank goodness youāre not that spacey now.ā
āExactly, andāooh, pretty bird!ā Derpy got distracted by a bluebird, which even Karyn thought was pretty. But she had to keep her eyes on the road.
They soon arrived at the hall. It was on a lake, and the weather was cooler because of it. Negotiating one of the many entrances, Karyn drove up to the vestibule to find a valet in a red coat.
āAre you here for the wedding?ā he asked.
āYes, but Iāll park myself. Just over there?ā
He directed Karyn to one of the lots, and she drove quickly to the far end.
āDid he want to park the car?ā asked Derpy.
āYes, thatās his job, but I hate giving my car to anyone else, especially if Iām not there. Itās a quirk, but I always feel that a car is very intimate.ā
They got out and hustled into the room. It was half-filled with people already seated, and Karyn waved to her parents. As she sat down next to them, there was no room for Derpy to go without getting displaced by someone else, so she hovered above. Karynās mother asked, āDo they still have the air conditioning on? I feel a draft.ā
There was little time for Karyn to chuckle at the misunderstanding, as everyone else sat down and the ceremony began. The couple had chosen a nontraditional song for the processional, and Karyn thought that āHere Comes the Brideā would have fit better. As it was, the love song got repetitive and boring as the various flower girls, bridesmaids, and relatives who could not be excluded walked down the aisle. Once that was done, the minister performed the ceremony quickly and brightly, before any of the small children had a chance to get too bored.
Once the vows were completed and the couple walked back, the rest of the guests shuffled toward the reception room. Here Karyn saw the advantage of having arrived late and being seated in the back. Since the door was there, she was one of the first out, and found a seat in a large room with the bar. Temporarily separated from her parents, she got a chance to chat with Derpy.
āWhat did you think?ā
āItās a lot more similar to Equestrian weddings than I thought it would be. Lyra would love the fact that they hold hands during the ceremony. Other than that, let me seeā¦I liked the music.ā
āYou did, huh? Hey, speaking of hands, can I ask you a question? Itās one that a lot of people have wondered about.ā
āGo ahead,ā said Derpy.
āWhen unicorns get married, they put the rings on their horns. What do pegasi and Earth ponies do?ā
āAlicorns put it on their horns as well.ā
āRight. More general question. What do non-horned ponies do for their ring exchange?ā
Derpy brightened up. āOh, thatās easy. Theyāā
āThat was a nice ceremony, wasnāt it?ā Karynās father walked over and Derpy had to silence herself.
āYes, quite. You look very nice today.ā She straightened her fatherās tie.
āIām going to go spend time with your mother. Donāt drink too much.ā
Karyn rolled her eyes. āIāll be legal soon and then youāll have to be serious.ā
Once he walked away, Derpy said, āNow, as I was saying, when I got married, having no hornāā
A young woman in black and white walked up and said, āScallop?ā
āBeg pardon?ā Karyn stepped back.
āBacon-wrapped scallop?ā
āNo, thank you. Is there anything vegetarian?ā
āI think someone will be serving turkey meatballs.ā
Karyn looked at her as if expecting her to realize what she said, but she had already moved onto the next guest. Karyn walked into the next room and looked over what there was. She filled a plate with penne alla vodka which seemed safe. Feeling Derpy stop behind her, she turned around to see a carving station. āYeah, they do this kind of things at weddings,ā she muttered.
āI thought that humans could cut their own meat.ā
āThey usually do, but not here.ā
Derpy flapped her right wing only and made a circle in the air. āNow, this is completely different from Equestrian weddings. All this food, noponyād ever be able to afford it.ā
āWeddings are very expensive as well.ā
āHey, I think thereās some cheese over here. Can I have some?ā
Karyn walked over and saw the stand. There were many slices of cheese, but they were mixed in with rolled up cold cuts. Karyn took the tongs and put a few slices on her plate where she had cleared the pasta. Once she was sure that no one else was looking, she surreptitiously slipped some to Derpy.
Many of the other guests were milling about, not talking to any one person for more than a few minutes. Karyn was pleased about this, for anyone she did meet was quickly onto someone else, so she didnāt feel as if she was neglecting Derpy. But beyond the food, which Karyn had to constantly examine to make sure it was acceptable to her and Derpyās diets; and the guests, which Karyn as a distant relation didnāt know many of, it was not the most exciting time.
After a half hour of this, with no real signal but with everyone seeming to know, they all proceeded into the main dining hall. Place cards were laid out on a table, and Karyn queued up to find her name. She looked near the middle of the table for the Hās.
āThey never put these things in alphabetical order. Itās impossible to find on the first look.ā
Derpy whispered to her. āIt should be right after mine. Hooves, then Hubert.ā
Karyn found hers by random selection and grabbed her parentsā card as well. After handing it to them, she sped up so that she could laugh and explain to Derpy. āDid you forget that you werenāt actually invited?ā
āYou mean Iām crashing?!ā
āNo, technically the invitation was for me and a guest. Since you wonāt have your own plate, no one will mind. I suppose the hall might charge more for an extra guest, but I think itās based on round numbers.ā
Derpyās whisper had a tinge of worry to it. āBut what if Iām the one who would have pushed it over, say, a hundred?ā
āJust relax and enjoy yourself.ā
They were seated at a table on the far side from the main dais, and close to one of the large speakers. Karyn grimaced at that. Her parents took their seats next to her, and no communication with Derpy was possible as the newlyweds were introduced to cheers. A DJ was playing master of ceremonies, and while his voice was not distorted, Karyn still had to cover her ears. When Derpy saw her distress, she put her hooves in place of Karynās hands, making it appear that she was not bothered.
The wedded couple had taken their seats, and the DJ started his set proper, inviting people to dance. Karynās parents stood up and advanced to the parquet dance floor and, to Derpyās surprise, so did Karyn. The tune began slowly, but picked up into a pop beat soon enough.
What amazed Derpy even more was how talented Karyn seemed to be as a dancer. Most of the adults had at least one drink in them already, and so were a little shaky on their feet, but Karyn, even without a partner, stood tall and moved on the beat. If no one else noticed her abilities, Derpy, from Karynās vacated seat, did.
Once the song ended, some people stayed out but Karyn returned. As salads were placed in front of all the seats, she dug in.
āYou were beautiful out there,ā said Derpy.
āThank you. I took a dance class for one year before I got bored. But I still know some of the ideas. You could probably have that salad if you wanted. My father wonāt eat his.ā
Derpy was grateful. She checked for anyone watching before munching the lettuce and onions as quickly as she could. āDo you think I can have some of his water too?ā
āThat I wouldnāt advise. My father does tend to drink a lot of water at events like this. I think he does it because he knows heās drinking liquor as well, and hates hangovers.ā
The party was in full swing, and all the people moved from the dance floor to the tables to the bars in turn. After being informed that the only meal choices were steak, chicken, or fish, she ordered a second steak for her parents and then took Derpy once more to the appetizer table.
āItās nice that they leave all this out for the whole event,ā said Derpy. āIn Equestria weād take all this away and pack it up to eat later if we put it out for a party.ā
āMaybe they knew that a vegetarian and her pegasus were coming.ā
The pasta was cold, but the cheese was still good and they even found a station that they had missed the first time around that had small flatbread pizzas. They were cold too, but neither of them minded.
Only once did Karyn get to say hello to her cousin, and she was only permitted a passing wave at the bride herself. It didnāt bother her. Some distant friends and relatives were company enough, especially when she had Derpy.
The only other time when everyone was seated, and Derpy had to assume a hovering position above Karyn, was when the formal dance for the couple was held. It was a slow instrumental piece that Karyn didnāt recognize. In her lowest whisper she said, āHowever good my dancing is, I am not having a song like that at my wedding. I like that style of music fine, but when everyoneās watching I want something with a beat so I can shake away my nerves.ā
āWeāll see if we can get Vinyl to do your wedding. Of course, youāll need someone to marry first.ā
Karyn rolled her eyes, and a burst of applause ended their need to keep their voices low. Everyone went back to their mingling, but Karyn told Derpy to wait. āTheyāre going to cut the cake. Weāll stay for that.ā
Derpy indeed plopped into a chair and waited, but it took a long time for the servers to get around to the far tables. By then, Karynās parents had returned.
āArenāt you going to eat your cake?ā asked Karynās mother.
āIām not the biggest fan of wedding cake. But maybe later.ā
They all got up for the last dance, a bouncing number that made Karyn glad that she ate light. As they went back to the table for the last time to pick up Karynās purse, her mother saw the slice was eaten anyway. āI think someone took yours while we were dancing.ā
āWhoever it was, I forgive them. Iām sure they wanted it more than I did.ā
Karynās mother heard a laugh, but couldnāt place where it came from.
3422612 Hee-hee! I often come up with them right before, but I try to come up with the chapter titles ahead of time. I've still got a few up my sleeve.
And if I can't come up with a Derp pun, I can always bring in Dinky and do a Dink pun as well.
Man. I hate it sometimes when there's something interesting but it comes in like 30 or more chaptahz, Like "Fallout Equestria"
Im amazed that this actually added to my fav reading list to 103 unread.Y Do I do this to myself?
And we never did get to hear what Earth ponies and pegasi do for rings! Personally, I would think a necklace is more practical but still!
Keep going! ;)
3424129 Yeah, I recall reading a fic that mentioned that earth ponies and pegasi use necklaces with a ring in the center- in other words, the ring is where the "big jewel" would be on a normal yet highly ornate necklace.
Also, glad that Karyn has been exploring her changeling powers a little more, but I'm still hoping she'll learn how to use magic other than just shapeshifting, like at least levitation. There are plenty of situations where that could be useful, even if she can't use it openly when on Earth.
...
Right, I'll just take these off for a bit....
watersportswarehouse.co.uk/images/product/full/aquasphere-seal-mask_CLEAR-CLEAR.jpg
Y'know, if this were a sad-fic Kathryn would've died from that pun.
I'm a little bit dizzy myself. That was a brutally amazing pun.
5613463 It's Karyn, not Kathryn.
5613926
It's only been 75 chapters.
I'm perfectly sure that's a reasonable mistake to make.