• Published 25th Apr 2012
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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human - pjabrony



Serveral years after the events of "Lyra's Human," Derpy Hooves meets a human of her own.

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F06: Derpcisions, Derpcisions

Derpy’s assessment of Karyn’s apartment that week was purely informational. She knew that, even if she had found it completely unkempt, as she had found Dinky’s room only once, that she would not say anything. In the first place, she knew that Karyn was still fragile after the week before. In the second, it would not be fair to reproach Karyn when she herself was begging a favor.

“Good morning,” she began.

“Morning, Derpy.”

“So, I don’t know how to say this exactly...”

Karyn winced a little, as if expecting the reproach that Derpy had sworn to avoid. “Yes?”

“But if you can, I’d like you to come take a look at the computer. The display is off and it’s harder to work.”

Karyn was used to people in need of technical support not always being precise in their description of a problem, and had learned how to glean information. In this case, she would understand that Derpy’s use of “off” meant “not entirely proper” and not “lacking any function,” with the context of it being “harder” to work. But it was entirely possible that Derpy’s monitor was nonfunctional and Derpy had found a way to use the computer anyway, either by magic, or just by, in her Derpy way, remembering where the cursor was and what she was doing.

Flashing her hair from its mess into her usual updo, Karyn said, “Could I go over to your place and see it?”

“I was going to ask you that, but I didn’t want to impose.”

“No, it’s no imposition. Do you want to have breakfast first, or...let me at least make coffee.”

Derpy saw an opportunity for a small recompense she could offer. “Why don’t I take care of breakfast this week? And coffee? Hop on.”

Karyn put back the filter that she had taken out and got on Derpy’s back. When they transferred to Equestria, she looked up to the sun and took a deep breath. Derpy noticed the change during the ride. At first, Karyn was just sitting as she would on a chair, and it was up to Derpy to keep her balanced. This was no difficulty, as all the ponies had an innate sense of balance. But as she continued to breathe, Karyn took more of that duty herself, and Derpy only had to notice the weight, not the balance.

Still, when they entered her house, Derpy went for the coffee maker before the computer. She gave Karyn her cup and started breakfast. After Karyn had taken a few sips, she headed for the computer. “I’ll take a look.”

“No, you don’t have to do that yet. Have breakfast first and then you can look at it.”

“I won’t enjoy it then, because I’ll know that I have to look at it, but I won’t have any information. Maybe it’s something that I can take care of quick, or if it’s not, then I can use breakfast time to think of some ideas to try.”

Derpy didn’t argue any more, and Karyn got to the computer. She checked the cables first, then turned on the monitor.

“You see the problem?” called Derpy from the kitchen. “I pressed a bunch of keys but nothing fixed it.”

“Done! It’s all right now.”

“What?!” Derpy ran out and looked. “You fixed it! How?”

“Magic.”

“Yeah?”

Karyn laughed. “Right, I can’t say that and have you know I’m joking. OK, here’s what happened. You probably hit Ctrl-Alt-Left by mistake, which makes the display go sideways. All the Ctrl-Alt-Arrow keys change the orientation, so Ctrl-Alt-Up is how you fix it. It’s kind of silly of them to have made that, since very few people use their monitors in anything other than the normal orientation. It’s even dumber not to include a popup that explains it, since they have exactly that for changing your resolution.”

“I think I understand. Thank you for fixing it. I guess it was something I should have known on my own, huh?”

“Like I said, it’s something they should have done in the first place. You know, I like troubleshooting your problems more than I do those of humans. In the first place, you’re not afraid to admit when you don’t know something. Most humans are. In the second, I’m not afraid to admit that I’m trying something, and that I’m not sure if it’ll work or not. You’re too good of a friend to get on me for that. Lots of people expect you to sit down, start typing, and fix the problem automatically.”

Derpy looked back at the computer. “But that’s what you did.”

“This time.”

“Well, go relax and wait for me to finish breakfast.”

Karyn made for the couch, but then thought otherwise. “I think I’ll sit on the porch. I never got a chance to use the swing you traded for. It’s a mild day for this time of year, so I’ll enjoy it while I can.”

With the coffee to take the edge off any chill, she enjoyed rocking back and forth. Derpy announced breakfast soon enough, and Karyn went in. It was much the same food as they usually had, but it felt homier, like when Karyn had been young and her mother had made her breakfast each morning before school. And when she helped with the dishes, it was also like when she was young, and her helping was a sign of good intentions, not just an expectation.

“Now,” said Derpy, “I hope you don’t mind, but having not been able to use my computer for the last two days, there are some things I’d like to catch up on.”

“I understand perfectly. I’m going to go back out to the porch.”

Ponyville was beginning its Sunday, late as usual. Here and there a cart passed by, on its way to market, boarded up but with a sign for whatever wares were to be sold. A few of the early customers followed on the same path. Going the other way were ponies, mostly old but a few younger and faster, out for a morning constitutional.

Pegasi were working with clouds, but through some technique that Karyn understood as poorly as Derpy did computer support, they only made it warmer. The cool air and the hot rays of the sun, reflected off the clouds, made Karyn feel summery, and as she turned and rocked she could feel the sun’s residual heat deep in her skin.

A sound caught her attention, the tinkling of some unicorn far off to her left lifting some object she couldn’t see. What made her smile was how familiar it was, the casual breakage of the laws of physics.

Derpy came out and joined her. She said nothing at first, noticing how Karyn was in such a peaceful place. Both of them just sat and rocked.

“I guess time’s not moving back on Earth,” Karyn said at last.

“Probably not. I didn’t try to anchor us mentally. I know you were hoping that you could fix the computer quickly. Are you worried about your age again?”

Karyn ignored the question. “If I never went back, though, it would start up again, right?”

“I think that’s what happened before. Hank, Lyra’s Human, he never came and went like we do. He decided to stay, but you didn’t notice any change in the time, right?”

“No. So either it was working or it healed itself.”

Karyn had kept looking out at the street. Derpy leaned her head out to try to make eye contact. “Why the sudden interest?”

She paused, as if choosing her words carefully. “I’m wondering if I don’t have the same destiny. He was older, and he came here to stay very quickly. But I had...I have so much to do on earth, a whole life. And yet, so much has happened. I’ve taken in so much magic. I’m not even fully human any more. I’m part changeling.

“Maybe I’ll stay in Equestria too.”

It still seemed to Derpy that Karyn was making idle chatter until she said that. As if the words made the idea real, Karyn kept going.

“I think that would make it a lot easier for me. And so would you. They had Bon-bon to deal with, and their love kept him from seeing much of Equestria. I’d like to do that, take more trips, hobnob with the princesses more.

“I could even get to know Queen Chrysalis more. We haven’t heard from them since they signed the peace treaty with the Crystal Empire. They might need me to mediate some more. Or perhaps I should have a hive of my own. Some of the changelings wanted to rebel, remember? I could truly wear the crown as queen, help lead them to a greater relationship with ponies. Well, it’s a thought.”

Derpy didn’t know how to react. She wasn’t entirely sure how serious Karyn was being, or if she was saying that she was staying right then and there.

Smiling, and half in a trance, Karyn went back into the house to get more coffee. Derpy followed, afraid to let her out of her sight.

“The other thing I could do,” Karyn continued, is to just stick to my pony disguise except when I’m flying. I guess I can’t learn to walk on clouds or be a true pegasus, but I wouldn’t fit in any better with the unicorns or the Earth ponies. Nor would I want to. You’ve always been the pony I’m closest to, you know?”

“I do know, but this is something big to spring on me.”

“Did you never consider the possibility?”

Derpy had finally recovered from the shock of hearing Karyn’s decision to actually think about its implications. One major one was that Karyn was clearly proposing to move in with Derpy, at least initially before she found her own niche in Equestria. Derpy didn’t automatically balk at that; if necessary, her house and all her possessions would be put to Karyn’s needs. But at the same time, it seemed a little presumptuous of her. Was Karyn’s implied trust a sign of the strength of the friendship or a point of weakness?

On the other hoof, it was such a radical step that Derpy, with her natural reluctance to change, had to argue against it. “But there’s so much on Earth that you’d be leaving behind. You can’t be in computers here. It’s only mine, and it doesn’t break that often.”

“No, and I wouldn’t charge you even if it did. But remember too that that’s never been a lifelong dream. It wasn’t something that I went for out of love. I chose it because I have the talent and it’s a good career.”

“You won’t be able to pay back your student loans in bits.”

Karyn shot Derpy a look that canceled that line of questioning.

“All right, but what about your parents? Surely you wouldn’t abandon them or make them think that you’ve disappeared.”

For the first time, Karyn seemed serious about what she was talking about. “Of course not. But I was thinking. Once time starts on Earth, I can go back and forth. So I’ll give my folks a call now and again, and I’ll explain that they can’t call me because I have no cell coverage. Or something like that. And I’ll go visit them at times. It’ll be just like I’ve moved away.”

“That would mean living a lie. Can you really do that long term?”

“Not too big of one. You think I should explain truthfully? Say that I’m moving to another dimension?”

Holding up her hooves, Derpy said, “That hasn’t been decided yet. I want to make sure you consider all the aspects of this. It’s not going to be a panic seal.”

“A what?”

“Sorry. I tried out a word I wasn’t sure of the meaning of.”

Karyn thought about what she had said. “A panacea?”

“Yeah, OK, sounds right. So there. Could you stand being around me all the time when I mess up words and stuff?”

“Of course I could. You’re my best friend.”

“You know something?” Derpy said. “That’s the first time you’ve ever said that. We’ve never used the b-word. You’re my best friend too. But that’s always been the problem. We’re best friends from different worlds.”

“So?”

“Karyn, don’t you realize that if you came here to stay, you’d still never be a native Equestrian? You were born a human being on Earth. Isn’t that what you were meant to be?”

Karyn got angry, but Derpy understood that it wasn’t at her. “To Tartarus with what I’m meant to be! See, I’m going native already.”

“I’ve never heard anypony say anything like that. We don’t use Tartarus as an oath like you do on Earth. That’s what I’m talking about not fitting in.”

“You never fit in either.”

Derpy had often said exactly that, but hearing it from someone else made it seem different. “It’s not the same. Ponies still look at me and see a pony. They talk down to me sometimes, but they still talk to me. Making friends could be a lot harder. Yes, you have your changeling powers and could show up as a pony, but that’s living a disguised life again.”

“Yes, but that would be my problem to deal with.”

“So it wouldn’t be solving all your problems.”

Derpy had said it trying to shock Karyn into more of a comparative view, but Karyn seemed to have considered this. “I never said it would. But it would definitely eliminate all of my current problems.”

“Which are?”

And it was this that achieved what Derpy had been trying to do, to get Karyn to open up. “Well, that blasted professor and her unfair grading for one. All the way I’m treated as a girl in a male-dominated field. Just the day-to-day stuff I have to see in the news and on TV. The way everyone’s so cold to one another. I’m sorry, but Equestria, whatever troubles it has, everypony faces them together. Ponies help each other. Humans make things difficult for one another.”

“In the first place, you’ve got a rosy picture of Equestria. You’ve only been here on Sundays. And once in a while on a special occasion. Ponies can be mean too. I don’t think the difference is that sharp. And it still feels to me like you’re running from your problems instead of facing them.”

“And what if I am?”

Derpy put everything down and sat at the table. She had never been more focused. “Karyn, I don’t want to hurt you, so please understand that I’m going to say this as a friend. I think that you’re making a very bad decision. I think if you do it, you’re going to wind up in a worse place than if you don’t do it.”

“Which is the definition of a bad decision.”

“Yes, but I want you to understand. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t do this if I were you. I’m saying that I think as strongly as anything that you shouldn’t.”

Karyn sat down across from her. “If I decide to anyway, would you stop me? Would you tell Twilight and have her transport me back to Earth? Or just say that I can’t stay here?”

“No, I wouldn’t. Because if you came here you would need all the help you could get. And because I would hope, each and every day, that you would reverse your decision and go back to Earth.”

“Can I ask why you think this?”

Derpy pinched her mouth closed, then said, “I wish I could explain it clearly. I’m not good with words. But everything tells me that you’re meant to be where you started. That your...momentum, for lack of a better word, should have you on Earth.”

“Inertia, you mean. That’s what bothers me. I’ve faced that rut for the past several years. I’m going to shake something up in my life.”

“I think there could be other things you could do.”

Karyn said nothing, and the argument was only more tense because of it. She crossed her arms.

“All right,” said Derpy. “Well, if you’re going to stay, I’ve got to make up the bed for you. I’ll be back.”

She went upstairs. Out of sight and finally with a chance to think, Derpy busied herself with the bed as she considered. Karyn was being stubborn. Dinky had done that too, and Derpy had been hard-pressed to convince her when she thought she was right. But ultimately Derpy had won out, because of the family love between them. She was no psychologist. She could only act in earnest. But sometimes, that was enough.

Before she went back downstairs, Derpy stopped in her own bedroom and went into her saddlebag. When she sat back down at the table, she placed the small object between the two of them.

“What’s that?”

“Don’t you remember?” Derpy pointed to the stained envelope. “This was the letter that we found in the dead letter office when we visited the post office that time on Earth. I had hoped that we could find the recipient together. But if you’re not going to be on Earth, there’s no reason for me to visit. So we can just forget it.”

“You’re going to throw it out?”

“No, I wouldn’t do that. It’s still a mailpiece. I suppose that we should put it back where we found it, but that’s on Earth.”

Karyn looked down at it. “Hm.”

“Come to think of it, I can give that entire saddlebag back to Twilight Sparkle. Or Lyra. I won’t have to use magic spells anymore if I’m not going to be on Earth. I’ll need the one I use for the computer, but beyond that I’ve always been able to get by with just my wings. So there won’t be any more magic done on Earth. No danger of discovery anymore.”

Karyn picked up the letter and looked down at it, her hair covering her face. Derpy saw her hands shake and then her head, but she wasn’t sure what was happening until her first tears hit the paper, spreading out in spots.

Racing over to take the letter, Derpy grabbed Karyn’s hands with her hooves. “I’m sorry,” Derpy said. “I was just trying to make you see good things about Earth. I take it back, you can stay as long as you need.”

“No, Derpy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. I won’t really come here to stay, but, I’m just so scared!”

She wrenched her hands free only to throw her arms forward. Derpy matched the move and held her. Karyn’s sobs inspired tears of sympathy in Derpy, and for a long time they just embraced and cried together.

Through choking cries, Karyn poured out her heart. “Derpy, I’ve only got a few more months at school, and then I’m going to be on my own! I don’t know what I’m going to do, if I can get a job, I’ve got all this drama to work through at school, my parents keep asking how I’m doing, I keep getting into debt, I can’t spend any money, and people are going to expect me to start acting like an adult! I don’t know how! Do you understand? I don’t know how.”

Derpy didn’t respond, just let Karyn get it all out. When it was finally over and Karyn took a napkin from the counter to use as a tissue, Derpy gave her a soft smile and held her with a wing. “I understand. I mean, I understand how the stress can build up and there’s no one you can go to. No one wants to hear about your problems, because there’s nothing they can do about them. Most would say that you have no problems, that you have time, that you’ll figure out a way. But they don’t know, because they’re not you.”

Karyn sniffed. “You do understand.”

“Sure. I’ve been there. Everypony seems to know how to do whatever it is they’re supposed to automatically. Maybe they don’t. Maybe they’ve got it just as bad as we do, but they’re better at not showing it. But I don’t think so. I think you and I have got it rough, because of who we are. Still, we’ve got one thing no one else does.”

“What’s that?”

“Each other.”

Karyn laughed through her tears. “I’ve been such a bad friend these past two weeks. We haven’t done anything fun, I’m just dumping my troubles on you.”

“Poppycock.” Karyn was surprised to hear Derpy swear. “Friends have to be there when they’re needed. We’ll get through this, just as we did everything else. You’ve got a lot of troubles, but they can only win if you’re sad all the time. Whenever you are, you come to me and I’ll make it better, and then you can think logically and fix them.”

“Thanks. I do believe I can.” She reached for the envelope. “I got it all wet.”

“Wet paper dries. I’ve learned that in a rainstorm or two. There’s a lot that heals in life if you just give it a chance.”

“I think we should be a little more active in figuring out who this belongs to.”

Karyn was finally speaking clearly, and Derpy was happy to get her on a different subject. “We should. Any ideas?”

“No. We don’t even know when it was sent. Hey! Maybe I could get it dated. There are processes that scientists can use to tell you how old something is. I wonder if there’s a way to do it.”

“And if not scientifically, we can do it magically I’m sure. See, if we can do this, we can accomplish anything.”

“Together,” they both said.

Author's Note:

Lunar_Twilight said that they wanted to see Karyn do more things around Equestria. I took that idea and ran with it in a bit different direction, but they still get the credit for the inspiration.

OK, LH2DH fans, time for some scheduling talk. Next Wednesday is Christmas Eve. In my opinion, Christmas Eve is a special day, a wonderful holiday, a time to be with your closest friends and family, not to be on the computer reading pony fics. So, next week's chapter, chapter 128, will be posted Monday, the 22nd. Two days earlier. At the midnight between Monday and Tuesday, GMT, to be strict.

The Wednesday after that is New Year's Eve. In my opinion, New Year's Eve is a wasted day, a lame holiday, a time to be on the computer reading pony fics, not getting plastered with people you barely like, staying up too late, and cheering too loud for the advancing of a clock. So that week's chapter, chapter 129, will be strictly on schedule.

Now, astute readers will know that when I run up to the chapters that end in 0, things start to happen, and this is no exception. Next week is just an ordinary slice of life like most of what I do, but then...well, be here December 31 and January 7. That's all I'll say.

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