• Published 25th Apr 2012
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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human - pjabrony



Serveral years after the events of "Lyra's Human," Derpy Hooves meets a human of her own.

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73: Derpcovery

Karyn craned her neck before carefully reaching out and turning the wheel to the left.

“I have to tell you, I don’t like this much.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

At the sound of the line that Derpy had actually used in her one speaking role on the show, Karyn couldn’t help smiling. Almost immediately, though, she returned to her intense concentration.

Driving back to school had been easier when Derpy had brought her truck. As it was, her own car was packed, floor to roof, with everything she could get in. A second trip might be necessary once she arrived and took inventory.

“If I had a sunroof, I could open it and let you raise your head outside and check the road for me. But without my rear-view mirror, I’ve got to be extra careful driving. Mostly it’s in making lefts though. I might need you once we get on the highway and I want to change lanes to the right.”

“Why don’t you have a sunroof?” asked Derpy.

“They’re an option, which means the car costs more money. If I knew I was going to have a pegasus in the car, I might have sprung. And by ‘I,’ I mean my parents.”

A few more turns and they were accelerating onto the highway, with Karyn rolling down her window and entering at ten miles-per-hour below the speed limit just to be safe.

“Are you always this cautious driving?”

Karyn reached for the cruise control, then decided against it. “No, I’m not. All that stuff in the back is messing with my visual cues though. I feel shut in. I’ll be happier once we get where we’re going.”

“Only another hour or so away.”

Karyn grimaced.

“Hey, at least we didn’t have to deal with your mom.”

Twenty minutes earlier, Karyn had finally won the argument with her mother to not bring her along. She had tried several tacks.

“I didn’t take you to school last year. I feel ashamed that I’m not doing my motherly duty.”

Karyn rolled her eyes at that. “It was fine. I made it all right with the moving van.”

“But then we were busy. Now I’m perfectly free, and besides, your father’s out on his fishing trip, so if I don’t go with you, I’ll be stuck here doing nothing.”

“You can wait for him to get home and then cook the fish.”

Karyn’s mother shot her a skeptical look, either concerning her cooking skills or the slim likelihood that there would be any fish to cook. “In any case, I wanted to meet this woman you’re living with. What’s her name? Gail?”

“Gayle, with a y. Which should endear you to her right there, since we both have that naming quirk. And certainly you should meet her, but by coming by on visiting day and having coffee or something, not by tramping around her house when everything is getting moved. You won’t meet her then, you’ll just see her.”

“But there’s still room in the front seat.”

That tripped Karyn up. She had left room for Derpy, not thinking that it would mean another excuse for her mother to want to come. “I still have some stuff to pack. And besides, what are you going to do? Drive back in my car, then come back to pick me up in a couple of weeks when I want a home visit? And meanwhile I’m without a car if I want to go into town? Or if I get an interview for an internship?”

Her mother had grumbled that Karyn didn’t need a car, but the point about internships got to her. Unfortunately for Karyn, it meant stopping a mile down from the house to move all the extra stuff from the front seat into every nook and cranny of the back so Derpy had room. Hence the blocked view.

“Here we go, I’m getting off the highway. Once I do, the mirror won’t be as big a deal. At least the driving will be at a speed where I have time to observe and make a decision.”

“I know what you mean. That’s why I like flying around Ponyville rather than racing from town to town.”

After another pair of turns, there was no longer any traffic, and Karyn was able to navigate to the house without further distress. She knocked on the door.

“Hey, Karyn! Glad you’re here. Here’s the keys to the apartment. You need help moving in?”

“Thanks, Gayle. No, I’ll take care of everything. I don’t think we’re quite up to help-move level of friendship.”

Gayle laughed at that and let her go. Karyn went back to the car and took the backpack that contained her laptop and a bunch of her clothes in garment bags. After a few more trips, she checked her cell phone for the time.

“Hey, Derpy. I’ve got to check in at the school.”

“Really? Even though you’re not living in the dorms anymore?”

Karyn threw on her jacket. “They want to know when the students are in just so that they don’t have to look dumb in front of the parents if one of them doesn’t show up. Anyway, you want to come with?”

“Do we really have to go together? Seems pretty inefficient.”

“Are you in a rush to get out of here?”

“No,” said Derpy, “but I just feel bad that I can’t be a good friend and keep bringing things in from the car, because I’ve got to stay hidden.”

“Well, it’s not like you can go up and check me in at the school.”

“True, but if you want to bring in one of the big boxes and your bookshelves, I’ll start unpacking them.”

With her excuse for resting her muscles gone, Karyn brought in the heavy box of books. When she got the bookshelf, Derpy helpfully lifted one end. “All right, I’ll head down to the office. I won’t be more than an hour, I’m sure.”

She walked off, and Derpy cracked the knuckles of her hooves. “This works out well. I’ve got less than an hour to ensure that Karyn is safely ensconced in an orderly apartment for the next four months. I can do this.”

She looked at the box and saw that, wisely, Kayrn had only half packed it with books. The rest were towels and lighter objects. Easier to carry, but more difficult for Derpy to alphabetize the books.

“I guess if I’m going to finish with a clean room, I’m going to have to begin with a mess.” She pulled out the books and spread them out on the floor, then set up the bookcase. “I wish I had some paper around here. I could design the room before I start putting it together.“

She eyed Karyn’s laptop, and wondered if she couldn’t figure out a CAD program to help her. But with less than an hour, she would have to do the work first. Karyn might like a plan, but Derpy didn’t trust her to follow it.

The front room would have to be Karyn’s main study and entertainment center combined. Derpy would be worried about that, but she had successfully prioritized her work when living in a single room, so she would have to be trusted to do so again.

The furniture that was Gayle’s was mismatched, but that could be dealt with by decoration. Derpy made a mental note to talk to Karyn about getting some flowers to tie the room together.

“Nothing’s going to get tied together if I don’t get these books off the floor, though,” Derpy said to herself.

She unfolded one of the bookcases and set it up near the wall near the TV, in the hopes that, were Karyn tempted to laze and watch TV she might see a book she wanted to read instead.

It got easier as Derpy made her way through the alphabet. Once through the M’s, she set up the second bookcase and was stacking smoothly and happily.

Then she heard the sound of a purse hitting the floor. Spinning around, she saw Gayle standing in the door with fear in her eyes. Derpy checked herself to see that she was invisible, and she was, but she still had two books in her hooves. Not knowing what else to do, she slapped them onto the shelves.

Don’t panic, Derpy thought. She can’t catch you, just fly up out of her reach. But Gayle wasn’t moving toward her. She was still holding still.

Derpy then considered whether or not she should go visible and explain everything. Gayle did know about Equestria, she remembered, and it was possible that the secret would be kept. But Derpy couldn’t do that without Karyn’s permission. Where was she when Derpy needed her?

Gayle pulled over one of the other boxes and sat down on it. She wasn’t going anywhere. Derpy also considered the possibility of just going about her work. Maybe Gayle thought this was normal.

It was a tense situation. Gayle stood up and cautiously held out her hand. Derpy now had to make a decision. She did not want to reveal herself. Cautiously, she flapped her wing and moved to the side. Gayle grasped at the air and clutched at the empty air.

Backing up, hardly daring to blink, Gayle returned to her perch on the box. Ten minutes later, The door opened, but Gayle didn’t turn her head.

“Hi, Gayle. Is anything wrong—“

“What are you?”

“I don’t under—“

“What are you? When I came in here I witnessed your books casually stacking themselves on the shelves. No one carrying them, no one lifting them. The laws of physics breaking themselves.”

Karyn grimaced as she understood. Technically it was only optics that were being violated, as invisible Derpy was using physics to help out.

Gayle was continuing. “Now, I didn’t sign on for this when I leased you the apartment.”

Karyn saw a major problem playing out. She had no time to get another apartment or a place in the dorms. She would wind up paying way too much and starting her future with two strikes against her.

“So I want you to admit the truth.” Gayle finally broke her stare and turned to face Karyn. “You’re a witch, aren’t you?”

“What?!”

Gayle backed off. “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t know the proper terminology. Maybe you prefer sorceress or enchantress or mage? I don’t know my way around magick“— Karyn could hear the k — “myself. So please don’t turn me into a frog or erase my memory or anything.”

Karyn tried to talk her way out of it. “Gayle, listen. I don’t know what you think you saw, but—“

“Karyn, please don’t insult my intelligence. I could sense something off about you from our first meeting, but you seem like a good person, and I’m also weird but good. Not magical like you, of course, but a painter who people like has to be a little off center.”

She faced back toward the bookshelves. In her head, she saw Derpy shrugging. “All right. There was magic involved.”

“That is so…cool!” Gayle jumped up and was beaming. “Can you teach me how to do it? Or is it like Harry Potter where you have to be born with it? Can you fly? Is it one of those things where you have to use it only to help people who need it? Or is it more like where you’re the elite of the world and the rest of us just don’t know about you? How do you keep it secret? Ooh, are there magical creatures like elves and fairies too? Do you make potions? Do you think that Halloween is funny or is it offensive to you?”

“Whoa, whoa. Calm down. You’ve got the wrong idea. Magic isn’t like that; it doesn’t control your life or anything. I still go to school and I’ll work for a living like everyone else. It’s not a big conspiracy, just a different way to do things. Like how some people are really good at DIY and can fix things around the house without calling someone? That’s all magic is. And the reason most people don’t believe in it is just that there isn’t a whole lot of it around.”

Gayle seemed disappointed.

“But I understand your feeling,” said Karyn. “Even now, just knowing that it exists makes me a little happier.”

After standing up and straightening her hair, Gayle put her hand on Karyn’s shoulder. “I just can’t believe that I’ve really got a magical girl living in my apartment.”

The touching became a little too intimate for Karyn, and she pulled back. “Well, like I said, I’m not that weird. Also I have an off-again-on-again boyfriend, so…”

“I understand. Well, I’ll let you get back to unpacking. Not that you really need to be here to do it!” Gayle winked, then left.

Derpy ran to the door to ensure that they were really alone, then took off her disguise.

“Nice job covering up.”

“Fine help you were. How did you even get caught anyway?”

She put her head down sheepishly. “I was so intent on organizing your books that I didn’t hear her come in. I’m normally more observant.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do now? She thinks I’m a witch.”

“Or sorceress or enchantress.”

Karyn pointed her finger. “Don’t be cute. This is still your fault.”

“Do you want to explain to her who I am? I don’t think that you actually told her a lot of lies, so if you explain to her that it’s actually pony magic and tell her about Lyra and Twilight and everything, she wouldn’t be too resentful.”

“We could do that, but in the first place she seemed so happy when she thought it was just me being telekinetic.”

Derpy nodded. “It does seem nicer if she’s that adamant about finding out about magic.”

“But the other thing is that it also makes her a little afraid of me. And I get the feeling that she’s into girls, which is fine, but I want her to understand that I’m not attracted to her.”

“I think you made that clear to her. If she’s a reasonable person, she’ll keep her hands to herself.”

Karyn stood up and put her hands on her hips, overlooking the remaining unpacking. “All right, then if I ever have to be late with the rent, then I want her afraid that I’ll make her disappear or something!”

They set about getting the apartment ready. Karyn allowed Derpy to finish her organizing of the books while she stocked the kitchen with her dishes and a few nonperishable foods that she’d brought.

With the last of the boxes at least being out of the car, Derpy heard Karyn outside saying, “Is it all right if I park the car down the side of the house rather than keep it in the street?”

“Of course! Hey, does your car run on water or anything?”

“No, just plain old gasoline.”

“Darn. Probably big oil won’t let even you get away with something like that.”

Karyn hustled in and locked the door. “This is crazy.”

“I can always go explain things to her.”

“No, I have a feeling that will only make it more complicated. We don’t want to lie to her, but we do want to keep everything on a need-to-know basis. With the provision that she never needs to know.”

It had been advantageous for Derpy to organize the books, as it now gave them several empty boxes to layer within each other. Soon they had some working space in the apartment.

“This could be a pretty cool place,” said Derpy. “You could even live here long-term.”

“I don’t know that I’d be into that. In the first place, this isn’t too convenient to where the jobs are, and I don’t like long commutes.”

“How do you know you don’t?”

Karyn finished setting up her computer and swiveled in the chair. “When I went to middle school, I was like twenty minutes away on the bus every day. I was so glad to get into high school where it was only five.”

“Twenty minutes? That is a long trip.”

“I know, right? So I’ll certainly keep this apartment while I’m still in school, but then it’ll be time to move on.”

Derpy looked straight ahead, as if seeing something far off. “Hopefully Gayle will keep it for you over next summer.”

“That’s true. Although with the rent she’s charging I could probably just hold it. I might even get a job where it’s more convenient. That would be a little scary, if I’m never moving back into my parents’ house. It means I’m really on my own.”

“You get used to it.”

Karyn smiled at that, and the two of them finished setting up the apartment. With everything out of the boxes and the crates themselves nested within one another and ready to either be recycled or stored back in the car, it was calm and peaceful. Karyn set up her coffee maker and brewed a cup for herself and one for Derpy.

They sat, sipping and saying nothing. It was one of those friendship moments that happen all too rarely, a pause in conversation after a job well done. A light breeze blowing through the window, the apartment spread before them, and the steam from the coffee rising into their faces. Karyn and Derpy looked at each other and felt their bond as if it were a real thing.

A second later, there came a banging at the door. “Hey, Karyn! It’s Gayle!”

They sighed. “I’ll go invisible again,” said Derpy.

Karyn plodded to the door to give Derpy time, then listened to it creak as she pulled it open. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to show you, in case you ever get locked out, I got one of those key-hiding things that looks like a rock. Of course, you probably don’t need it, right?”

“Right. I’m pretty good at being responsible and not losing my keys.”

Gayle’s expression fell a little at that. Clearly she was thinking more along the lines of Karyn phasing through walls or pointing at a door lock and having it open by itself.

“Well, that was it. I have to get back to painting. Have you ever tried any art yourself?”

“No. I’m really not that much of a visual person. The last time I went to the museum, I was totally bored.”

“I bet you’d be good at it though,” said Gayle. “You’d probably have great brush control.”

“I would. Cabling switches and routers gives you strong hands.”

Again Gayle was crestfallen. She backed away, and looked about to turn and go, when she summoned her courage and said, “Look, I know it’s your secret and everything, but can you just show me one more time? So I know it’s really true?”

Karyn stared at her, and for a moment she had an expression of fear on her face, but Karyn just rolled her eyes. She concentrated, and then waved her hands and snapped her fingers, just for effect. The green circle of light appeared around her, and when it cleared, Gayle was looking at a mirror copy of herself.

“So, if you ever need me to stand in for you at an art show or anything, just ask!”

Gayle regained her ear-to-ear grin, and charged forward for a hug, but then backed off. “Right, I know. Plus it seems a little narcissistic. Thanks, Karyn. I’ll see you around.”

This time she did leave, and Karyn quickly reversed her changeling magic. Derpy appeared behind her.

Unable to recapture the moment they’d lost, they laughed at each other, and Derpy said, “I bet the coffee’s gone cold. How about another cup?”

“Sure.”

Once they had their cups refreshed, Derpy asked, “So, other than what happened here, how did your check-in go?”

“Just fine. But this is the year that they’re really going to crack down and make me study a lot. All of the people who couldn’t hack it in the first two years have dropped out, so the competition is a lot stiffer.”

“Well, I know you’ll do fine.”

“I think I will too,” said Karyn. “It’s just going to mean a lot more work. The good news is that all my classes finish by Thursday each week. I can spend all Friday studying and doing the work I have to get done, Saturday can be my lazy day, and that way I’ll be ready for you.”

“Don’t forget cleaning up. The apartment should look like this all the time.”

“With the boxes lying around? All right!”

“No!”

“It’s just a joke.” Karyn finished her coffee and put the mug in the sink. “I’ll even wash the coffee cups right now to make sure you’re happy.”

“You shouldn’t do it for me. You should do it because it’s the right thing to do.”

She rolled her eyes as she rinsed the cup and put it in the drain. “Don’t nag me, or I’ll use my freaky magic witch-slash-sorceress-slash-enchantress powers on you.”

They had a laugh at that, but not too loud of one.

Author's Note:

Next week, more is revealed!

“Well, not exactly. The classes were really boring, but I couldn’t leave or waste time browsing on my phone—another thing that professors hate—so I had a lot of time to think.”

“Oh? About anything interesting?”

Karyn took a long pause. To Derpy’s view, it wasn’t a rehearsed speech, but it was clearly something that she had intended to bring up. Some of her turns of phrase were probably chosen beforehand and not made up on the spot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is she there?” asked Derpy.

“Yeah. There’s no reason for her to walk by my window to go out and pick up the paper. She’s spying.”

“I guess we should be a little more discreet.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is everything all right in here? I saw—oh, you have company.”

Derpy stepped aside to reveal to Karyn a pretty-looking unicorn with a two-tone mane and tail. As she entered Karyn could also see her cutie mark, an hourglass.

“Nice to meet you.” She racked her brain to think of her name. “It’s Minuette, isn’t it?”

And what will this guest have to say? Read next week to find out!

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