F04: The Balcony is Derped
“I still don’t get it.”
Derpy looked at the Blu-Ray that Karyn was holding and the figures that adorned the cover.
“I’m not sure I do either, because I’ve never understood how Equestria exists. I mean, somewhere, probably in California, someone has to write each episode of My Little Pony. So does the real Twilight Sparkle say the exact same thing that the writer thinks of her to say? That’s weird and coincidental, right? So this is a story about how Twilight goes through a mirror to a different world.”
“But that never happened. At least, not that I heard of. To be fair, I don’t keep up on all the news, but I think ponies would know if one of their princesses left the entire world.”
Karyn slid in her chair over to the Blu-ray player and opened the tray. “I think so too. So, just imagine this as a movie that happens to have some real ponies in it, but didn’t actually happen. But they happened to be played by perfect copies of the ponies who are real and who sound exactly like them.”
“I got it.”
“Then here we go. It’s called ‘Equestria Girls’.”
“Hang on! There are no girls in Equestria. It should be ‘Equestria Mares’ or ‘Equestria Fillies’.”
Karyn tried to give an answer, but said, “Just watch it first, then you can ask questions or give objections.” She put in the disc...
“Well,” Derpy said, “that was about as good as I would expect it to be. If it had to be made, I think that’s the best that they could have made it. But I don’t see why it did have to be made.
“But, OK, I’ll treat it as a movie and see what I can critique. Like, first, I have a hard time believing that Princess Celestia would ever banish somepony to another world, away from all their friends and family, no matter what they did. It’s out of character for her. I think she’d be more likely to try to talk to them. Especially if it was a pony that she knew, like this Sunset Shimmer supposedly was. And how did Sunset know that the portal was opening at that particular time? How did she know that the mirror and the crown would both be in the Crystal Empire? Had she ever been to the Crystal empire? How did she adjust to the other world and enroll in Canterlot High School? And then, once she was a pony again, would she remember how to act and use her magic?
“So then Twilight goes to the human world and she too is able to waltz right in to the high school without anyone noticing a new student? And they didn’t catch her sleeping in the library? And how would she sleep comfortably on a pile of books?
“Now, she decides that she has to actually win the crown back at the Fall Formal instead of just asking for it back, saying that she owns it. Fair enough. But to get an entire school of people who don’t know you to vote for you in a popularity contest is a hard thing to do.
“But then there’s this whole subplot about how she gets framed by Sunset Shimmer and Snips and Snails, and it just goes nowhere. I find it difficult to buy that Luna—granted, she’s no longer the noble princess that she is in real life, but only some vice-principal, and that certainly got my eyes rolling—would be fooled by some pictures pasted over cutouts of Twilight. I mean, granted that they actually have computers and such, couldn’t they have at least photoshopped it instead?
“Of course that does lead into the thing where they need everyone to clean up the gym, and get all the rival groups to get together. That was kind of nice, but the music wasn’t what I was hoping for. I mean, ponies sing all the time, and sometimes we do it in chorus, but it just all felt so...ordinary. It would have been nicer with more solo songs.
“Oh, and I didn’t talk about all of Twilight’s friends yet. The ones who have the same names as ponies. So, I don’t see how a few fake text messages could drive a wedge between good friends like that. Didn’t they talk to each other? For that matter, don’t cell phones keep records of the texts they send? They could prove that they didn’t send them. And I don’t see why Sunset wanted to break up their friendships specifically.
“But speaking of friendships, let me talk about the biggest problem I had with the movie: Flash Sentry. Now, I’ve never met the pegasus pony that shows up at the end, and maybe he’s nothing like the guy we see through the movie, but he’s just so bland. I have a hard time believing that Twilight Sparkle would be attracted to a guy like him. Even if she was infatuated with his looks, once she got to know him and see his lack of personality, I think she would wise up and find somepony else.
“Let’s see, what else? Well, the ending I liked. They did a good job of explaining why Sunset Shimmer wanted the crown. But I don’t know. One high school’s worth of zombies coming in to invade all of Equestria? Why wouldn’t Princess Celestia just undo her spell? Well, even if it didn’t make sense, there were a lot of good visuals, and the way how at the end they used all that power to blow a big crater in the ground was cool.
“Oh, but that part where Sunset threatened to smash the portal with a sledgehammer, wouldn’t it have just gone through? And where did she get a sledgehammer from anyway?
“Well, that’s what I think. How about you?”
Karyn took a moment to collect her thoughts.
“Well, I liked it. I don’t know that I can answer all of your criticisms, but for me, a movie isn’t so much about internal consistency and whether it all makes sense as it is about whether it tells a good story.
“Now, one thing I will correct you on is that you called the other world that Twilight visits the world of humans. They never actually say that in the movie. Nor do they call it Earth. Because it’s not quite Earth. We don’t have that much of a variety in skin colors, for one. Unless Fluttershy has jaundice and Rarity is an albino and Rainbow Dash overdosed on silver. But even then, we don’t have names like ponies do. Very few people only have one name like Applejack, and even if she did, having her sister not have the same surname as her is something we don’t do here.
“So that could explain some of the problems you have. Maybe this is a much more relaxed society, and it’s OK for someone to just sleep in a school library.
“But I think that Twilight kept a lot of her personality and such, and there was a lot of what I love about Equestria in there. Everyone, for the most part, acted reasonably. Yes, Vice-Principal Luna should have been a bit more skeptical, but the way that Twilight and her friends interacted seemed in character. I especially liked the fact that Twilight wasn’t trying to hide Equestria from the other girls, or even her own pony identity. You have to do that here, because that’s just the world we’re living in. But there, the only reason she didn’t tell them that she was a magical pony princess was that she didn’t think they would believe her. Once Pinkie suggested it, she came clean.
“Now, again, this is looking at it from the perspective of someone watching a show, but I thought that the whole climax was really cool. The bad guys didn’t automatically get the crown; Twilight and her friends did a good job of keeping it away while they had a chance. And then when Sunset turned into that demon creature and they battled her, well, it was like the great moments when they defeated Discord or Queen Chrysalis. That’s how it was for me at least.
“The other thing to remember is that this was the first time that I saw Twilight as a princess. I wasn’t too happy about that when it happened—when it was just a show to me, I thought it was a bad decision. Obviously, in the real Equestria, it’s not my place to say who gets a crown and who doesn’t. But I thought she did a good job of acting princess-like. What she did here—helping a school, defeating evil—seemed to me to be more worthy of ascension than just repairing a spell that you messed up. It also gave me confidence that her new wings wouldn’t go to her head. She wasn’t being haughty or taking herself too seriously.
“Let me then talk about Flash Sentry, because that does seem to be one of the bigger points of contention. I don’t think it’s necessarily out of character for Twilight to fall for a guy like Flash. From what I know of her, she doesn’t have a whole lot of experience with romance; she’s more interested in her studies and her career. But that’s why I think that Flash might be a good match for her.
“In times gone by, men would be the head of the household while women were just ancillary. But the relationships worked, maybe even better than now where every relationship is supposed to be based on mutual equality. My only complaint is that the roles were restricted to genders. What’s wrong with a strong, independent mare like Twilight having someone like Flash who’s just sort of an adjunct in the relationship? She would clearly be the head of the household, she would have the final say in all the major decisions, and he would understand his place.
“I also think it would be nice for Twilight to get a love interest. That would be much more character development than her ascending to be a princess.
“So to end where you started, it was the best that could be made if it had to be made, but I’m glad it was. They didn’t go for too much of a fish-out-of-water story, I liked seeing all the designs, and I got good value for my movie dollar.”
Both Karyn and Derpy needed a drink of water after their long talks.
“So why did you want me to watch that?” asked Derpy.
“Well, the sequel is coming on TV right now.”
“Ooh, a sequel.”
They settled in, and Karyn made popcorn. After another two hours, including advertisements, they faced each other again.
“Why don’t you go first this time,” said Derpy. “I don’t want my opinion to color yours.”
“But you’re OK with the reverse?”
“I already know what I think.”
Karyn didn’t, and she needed another drink before she was prepared to talk that long, but after that she dove in. “Well, if I ended where you started, I can start where I ended. I don’t regret seeing the movie. I would probably pay for a ticket, and might actually do that if I can find the time and if it’s still playing anywhere.
“The villains were a lot more interesting this time. Two of them, anyway. Adagio was the typical bossy leader, and Sonata Dusk was the funny, ditzy one. But it felt like they forgot to give Aria Blaze any personality. They also seem like kind of recycled changelings, except instead of feeding on love they feed on dissension. I guess you wouldn’t find sirens and changelings in the same environment.
“One thing that bugs me is how useless Celestia and Luna are. I mean, I know that they’re just regular people in this, and not powerful alicorns, but they’re supposed to be some of the smartest people in the school, right? And they get taken in by the sirens’ magic just like everyone else?
“Oh, and how many times is someone going to change people’s mind by doing a number in the cafeteria. If that was an intentional reference to the first movie, that’s cool. But I’m dubious. It feels like a recycled plot idea. Even if it wasn’t, though, the song itself was way over the top. They might as well have come out singing, ‘We’re evil, we’re controlling all your minds, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.’ I know that they have to establish that they’re the bad guys, but still.
“On the other hand, I really like what they did with Sunset Shimmer. Taking a villain who’s now turned good and exploring that character further is one of the best thing you can do in fiction. Because they still have that edge to them that can defeat even badder bad guys. The way she had to deal with not being accepted and how the rest of the group did accept her, that’s the kind of reasonable conflict that I like. But, why didn’t they invite her in the band sooner?
“In particular I thought that the scene where she reveals the magic book and that it’s her only connection to Equestria, and how she gets to write to Princess Celestia for the first time in so long, it was really touching.
“But the scene that did take place in Equestria, I thought that was just a plot device. Like, all the stuff in the first movie that you pointed out were plot holes, I could still suspend my disbelief about because it was the beginning of the story. Here it took me out of the story somewhat.
“I was also sure that they would find some way by the end to sever the connection between the worlds to get back to the status quo ante. Not doing that was a good choice, even though we could be asking now why people aren’t going back and forth through the portal all the time.
“Let’s see, what else. Well, they did include a lot of the background characters that I love. Like putting Lyra and Bon-bon together as humans. I bet she would really like that if she knew. And Bulk Biceps as well.
“The underrated star might be Trixie. She made it all the way to the semifinals. Oh, yeah, the tournament. I was kind of annoyed that all they had were symbols and we really couldn’t tell which band was which unless that was part of the montage.But Trixie being the secondary villain, who has to lose to Rainbow Dash and crew even though she should have won...what that means is that if there weren’t any magic in the music battle, she would have won.
“But overall, while I loved this movie, I felt it wasn’t as good as the first one. There was just as much of an epic battle, but I was used to it by then. Seeing the ponies redrawn and walking on two legs, that was special the first time, but now it wasn’t. Maybe what it is is that I liked Equestria Girls out of defiance; everyone else said it was a bad idea, but I enjoyed the movie. Of course, I went in there expecting to like it. After all, I know something about ponies who come through to alternate dimensions to meet with two-legged people.”
Derpy took the meaning, and smiled at her. “My turn, now, huh? Well, what I would have like to have seen is how they actually formed the band. I mean, they kind of skimmed over that. Why would Rainbow and the others start a band?”
“Actually, before you go in to it, they kind of did. There were some short films that they released over the Internet. Let me find them.” Karyn slid over to the computer.
“OK, those helped explain. And I can see how they would be good at getting people to want to see the movie. And the one with Vinyl was a nice little piece of foreshadowing too. But I’m done stalling, let me begin.
“I liked this one rather more than the first one we saw. Maybe it was because I was used to the concept now, but I think that this one held together a lot better without the kind of plot holes or questionable writing that the first one had. It seemed like a tighter story, possibly because it’s a sequel and we didn’t have to build so much story and character first.
“In particular the music was far more memorable in this one. In the first it just felt like they were putting in songs because they wanted to have some. The only one I liked was the one in the cafeteria. And maybe that was part of why they made it the story they did: they wanted better songs and a reason to have them.
“But here’s what I think is a big difference between this movie and the last one. They had the whole subplot in the first of Twilight being framed for destroying the gym, and it went nowhere. Almost nowhere. You could trace the coming together of all the students to it, but that could have been left out. Here, the subplot of the tournament was less going off onto a side tangent and just coming back as it was starting small and building up.
“I give the movie a lot of credit because it didn’t have a singular protagon...prot...hero. Like, you think it’s going to be Twilight, but she doesn’t even show up for a while, and when she does she has her little arc, but other things are going on. It could be Rainbow as the leader of the band, but her story is no bigger than Applejack’s or Rarity’s.
“Really it’s Sunset Shimmer’s story, but the story is how she feels that she has to stand on the side while everyone else does all the work. Which clearly isn’t true, but that’s how she acts. That’s the kind of story you don’t see or read too often, because it can’t be interesting if the main character isn’t doing anything. That’s the essence of why the movie works for me. All these overlapping storylines and it turns out that the most important one is right there in front of you.
“The big scene that makes it all work is the sleepover. In the first place, it’s a funny scene with Pinkie Pie doing her thing and everyone enjoying themselves, but you know that Twilight’s tense. Then they go for snacks, she and Sunset, and they see how similar they really are. They probably should have realized it at that point, but of course the movie still has to go on.
“One thing I thought was really well-written was where Sunset has to stop the band from performing because their pony ears are coming out. I’d forgotten about that restriction when they started the song, so it surprised me. But then too when Rarity asked why she didn’t just close the curtains or such, and she explained it as panic. Yeah, that’s something that would really happen. And then they tied that in with the students being suspicious of her to begin with. So three plot threads come together in a moment, and it all works. After that, things were kind of predictable. Not that that’s a bad thing, always, and here it works because of how effective moments like that are. Rather than predicable, I’d say that the story was on rails.
“So that’s where I fall. I thought the first one was OK, but this one was better. If they made a third, I’d watch that.”
They both sat there for a minute. It was no longer their mouths but their minds that needed a rest. Derpy never spoke for that long on any topic, and Karyn only did when she had to give a report at school.
“Well, I guess we have to agree to disagree on this movie thing,” she said.
“Yeah.”
“I guess some of our disparity is the fact that you’re seeing it from the perspective of a native Equestrian, and I’m seeing it as a fan of Equestria.”
Derpy angled herself so she was no longer facing Karyn, but was more parallel. “I don’t think so. I really tried to put myself in a human perspective, and I think I succeeded. No, we just have different opinions on it.”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that. Actually, I think that’s the sign of a good friendship. I knew a girl once, when I was about eight years old, who I guess you could call a friend, but she seemed so afraid to contradict me on anything. Then when I finally had a different opinion from hers on something, and stuck to it, she didn’t want to be friends anymore.”
“Ooh, that’s a good lesson about friendship. Being able to say, ‘I don’t like that thing, but I see why you do,’ is definitely a line that you only go over with good friends.”
“And all we had to do to learn it,” Karyn said as she laughed, “was to sit through three hours of movies and then do a full review twice. But speaking of things I don’t understand, how’s it coming with that letter you’ve been looking for the recipient on?”
“Oh, I haven’t thought of anything. Hey! But maybe now that we’re not so frosty with Albert, we could ask him.”
“I’ll mention it to him the next time I can’t avoid running into him.”
“Thanks. Well, I’ll see you next week. But when I do, I want to do something. Can’t just sit around the house every day.”
“You got it.”
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Admittedly when I saw Vinyl's car transform I thought "Hey Vinyl, Michael Bay called: He wants his Transformer back."
My big grief about the first one was how Luna, after being shown that the evidence was faked maybe ten minutes after it was delivered by Sunset Shimmer, didn't immediately go and interrogate her about how and why she presented fake evidence. Even without being told it was faked, Just from the angle and content of the photos, someone would have had to be standing just outside the doors to the gym watching Twilight destroy the decorations without interfering in any way in order to take those shots. Not doing anything to stop her, or detain her, or draw attention from an authority figure while it was still happening is pretty suspicious unless your more timid than Fluttershy.
(Given Twilight's disorientation on arrival, i can partially forgive her for not asking for five minutes of Principal Celestia's time to prove there is a portal in the statue to corroborate her story on the crown alongside Fluttershy's anecdote of finding it. It's odd to get hit in the back of the head while your back is against what should effectively be a wall.)
I liked the second one because it was about Sunset Shimmer and the realistic fallout of trying to reform in an area full of your former victims. it also emphasized that having been part of the elements of harmony once did not provide perfect harmonious personalities or immunity to the siren's magic, it just provided a buffer. This, I thought, helped it make a point that being friends and friendly is an ongoing process, not an "I passed the test once, i'm now perfect at this forever" thing. It gets easier with practice and experience, but everyone still needs to put effort into relationships. I also liked the implications for how Twilight will handle herself in season 5. She might be the "Princess of Friendship" now, but she's not anymore perfect than she was in season 1. She just is a little more experienced and now knows it. (The scene with her shouting "friendship is magic" was in my opinion the single most embarassing moment in all of G4 MLP)
I want to meet Vinyls mechanic. Knowing my luck, Itll be a mirror.
The trick with Pinkie and the mirror, absolutely perfect.
Nice way to spend a quiet day, watch two reasonable movies, then comment on them, afterwards. Wonder if Derpy will take anything back with her? Those micro portable DVD players are a bit over the top, especially given Flim and Flam?
Welp!! This is ironic! I'm behind on reading the story, because I wanted to see the movie first. AND THIS WAS MY IDEA!! I thought for sure that Ms Hooves would have commented on her character playing a saw in the movie. Yes, I thought there should have been a bigger Transformers reference, Like Vinyl's car being yellow & black, or a Camero, or both. But (hopping around the room) Thanks for using my idea!
Finally saw the movie, so now I can continue with this story! I've missed not getting my weekly doses of Derpy's Human.