133: Derping Do
Karyn knew it was bound to happen at some point, but she kept hoping to put it off for another week. But that Sunday Derpy arrived when she had just risen and, without her changeling powers, Karyn was left to hastily shower and put her hair up in the inefficient human way.
She expected to be remonstrated for it, but Derpy waited patiently for this whole process, and didn’t even say anything when coffee wasn’t made. Once Karyn had caught up with her routine, she took the time out to say, “Sorry not to be ready.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad to be here. Glad to be on Earth.”
Karyn was still a little sleepy, and took Derpy’s remark out of context, just meaning that she was happy to be alive. Then she realized what was meant. “I’m happy to have you here, so we can do something fun.”
“I’m even glad about Twilight Sparkle.”
“Hm?”
“You remember when she told us that no other pony than me could come here?” Derpy grinned. “Yeah, that means that I’m finally safe.”
Karyn showed a slight shock. Things in Equestria sometimes got tough, but to try to escape from everypony was out of character for anyone, let alone Derpy.
“Safe from other ponies?”
“Yeah. Give me a few minutes and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Karyn had extra time since she had hustled through her ablutions, so she dawdled with getting breakfast ready and messed around on the computer. Derpy just stared off into space. Karyn tried to be understanding about it. If what she wanted was some alone time, but didn’t feel right about asking Karyn to go away, then the least to be done was to not hound Derpy for answers.
Still, Karyn was very curious.
Once she put Derpy’s coffee in front of her, Derpy opened up. “We had a good time with Rainbow Dash last week, didn’t we?”
“Yeah.”
“Too good a time, I think. I’ve seen her more this week than I have in a year, I think.”
Karyn blinked. “Really?”
“Yeah. And, I mean, I like her, but more in small doses than all at once.”
“I can understand that, kind of. But at the same time, Rainbow Dash is a really important pony. Like, the pegasus of all pegasi. She could open up a lot of doors for you.”
“I can open my own doors just fine.” Derpy stuck her tongue out. “Actually, she tends to fly through windows more than open doors.”
“No, I mean that it’s good to have friends in...powerful positions.” Karyn had to stop herself from causing more confusion by saying “high places.”
“Oh, but I don’t want to just make friends to get ahead. That’s not fair to everypony who isn’t friends with them.”
“I know, but it’s the best way to improve in your career. Or at least, that’s what they tell me. Maybe it’s different for ponies. I’d like to think so.”
Derpy shrugged. “Anyway, it’s not like she’s been stalking me or anything, but every time we do meet, she’s trying to draw me in to conversation.”
“But even if you’re not trying to take advantage of her, I’m surprised that you don’t want to hang out with her anyway. You don’t seem like that much of a clash of personalities.”
“No, maybe not, but I get tense when I’m around her. Rainbow always pushes herself to be the best, and I get the feeling that she expects everyone around her to do the same.”
“Fair enough. But why was it this week that she chose to dog your hooves, so to speak?”
Giving a laugh, Derpy said, “I blame you for that.”
“Me?”
“You remember last week, when you were so eager to see Rainbow’s progress on the water park?”
Karyn got a little hot and bothered at Derpy’s poor recollection of exactly who was the eager one, but didn’t pursue it. “Yes?”
“Well, Rainbow is the kind of pony who gets impressed by those who don’t follow the rules. Like the fact that I chose to fly from Ponyville to Las Pegasus and back in one day. Just on a whim, no planning or packing. She said that it reminded her of what first brought me to her attention.”
“What was that? When you damaged Town Hall?”
Derpy stared into space again, and Karyn could almost see the memories being dug out of long-term storage. “That was ages ago! I forgot that Rainbow and I worked together fixing that. But no, I was talking about a couple years back when we tied the soccer game. She was really impressed with that, but didn’t say anything. I guess if we had won this might have happened back then instead of now.”
“But what actually happened?”
“It wasn’t bad at first. We bumped into each other in town, had a nice chat. But then she brought up that she had a new Daring Do book, and I asked who that was. Now, that was silly, because I know who Daring Do is, everypony does, but I momentarily blanked. For Rainbow, though, it was like I insulted her. She sped off and returned with the first book in the series. She asked if I wanted to borrow it, and I didn’t want to tell her no. But then she’s been after me every day, asking how far I’ve gotten and if I like it.”
During all of this, they had not been idle, but had cooked and eaten breakfast. They had no plans, but the entire day was ahead of them, so they got ready in case they decided to go out. “And did you like it?” asked Karyn with a grin.
“Don’t you start too! It’s like she expects me to do a book report on it.”
“See, that doesn’t make any sense on her part. There’s no way that anyone can enjoy a book if you press them to read it. A book has to be taken at your own pace. Some people just read a chapter a night, and might take years to finish one book, but that’s how they want to do it.”
Derpy looked up as if wishing that she had the kind of time and patience to read as Karyn suggested. “I tried to get into it. I pushed myself through the first chapter. But it’s the kind of book that assumes I know so much! It kept talking about these distant lands and characters, and I don’t know which ones are accurate and which are made up. It was like reading a book beginning in the middle.”
“Probably it explains them better as you go along.”
“I guess, but I’ve never liked books that do that. In my opinion, you’ve got to go at a pace. Introduce a character, let the audience get to know one. Actually, if it were up to me, I could easily sit through a hundred and fifty chapters of characters just talking and going out to have fun, even if they never had any big adventures like Daring Do.”
Karyn laughed internally at the very notion of such a thing, but she had another point she wanted to make. She squared up and adpoted the tone she used for giving oral presentations in class.
“You know, there are some books that are more than just books, at least to some people. Sometimes you read a book—or hear a piece of music, or see a play, or anything—that you think is so impossibly good that you conclude that it’s the best thing ever, the one work that could unite the world and get everyone to love each other and solve all our problems. If someone doesn’t like it, it must be because they haven’t read it, or haven’t understood it.
“But what you don’t realize is that there are other people out there with their own works that speak to them. The first time you get someone preaching it to you, then you can understand it. I mean, I’ve had book series like that, where I’ve read them and thought that it was the key to world peace, but really it just resonated with me, not with everyone. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If anything it makes you special.
“Rainbow Dash, I don’t think, has realized that yet. You might not know it, but she didn’t start reading for fun until late in life. And nopony wants to push things on her. Hopefully someone will be brave enough to do so, because that’s the only way she’ll learn how annoying it is.”
Derpy listened to her, enraptured by any sort of idea that she could roll around in her head and agree or disagree with. “That’s interesting. I’d like to read a book that spoke to me that way. I’ve read some that are good, but never that made me think everypony would like it.”
“Do you read much, Derpy?”
“Probably more than you’d think, and less than I’d like. I read slow, taking my time. Not the once-a-night thing like you mentioned, but I’ll spend a day with a book, then find out I’ve only done one chapter. In any case, the books I’ve read aren’t like Daring Do. I always preferred biographies.”
Karyn did find this unusual, but there were always new facets to Derpy’s character that she learned about. “Can you explain why?”
“Not really. I guess I just always liked the idea of seeing what other ponies did with their lives as a kind of preview of what I might do.”
“I can understand that.”
“How about you?” asked Derpy. “What do you read?”
“Oh, well,” Karyn blushed a little at the question. “I haven’t had the chance to do so in a long time. You know, focused on schoolwork, it’s been mostly textbooks the last years. I’ve read the major fantasy series, the Harry Potters and the Hunger Gameses. When I was young that was what I was into, fantasy books with lots of rainbows and unicorns.”
“And pegasi?”
“Not as many. And some books that were specifically for young girls, books about dating and boys and so on. I didn’t pick those out, but I got a lot as gifts from people who didn’t know what to buy me. Maybe, when I graduate, I’ll ask Mom and Dad for an e-reader as a graduation gift, and I’ll get into some more adult fare.”
Derpy nodded. “I think I’ve seen them. Maybe it’s just because I’m a pony, but I prefer a regular book.”
“There are some people who do too, but I’m the one with a keyboard for a cutie mark, remember? You know, talking about reading more, I wonder if I might not like Daring Do.”
“You think? It’s not fantasy, just action.”
“Yes, but it’s a pony book, written by someone who shares fewer cultural similarities with me. That can be fun in a book, like when I read something British and have to translate an expression I normally wouldn’t use.” Karyn decided not to give examples, but she was thinking of some.
“That might be a good idea. I could lend you the book. I’m sure Rainbow would have no objection, and then I’d have a ready-made excuse to not talk to her about it.”
Karyn thought that this might be kicking the problem down the road, but it also might work, and she did want to get her hands on the book. “Let’s go back and pick it up.”
“OK, but we’ve got to be careful. Rainbow could be lurking anywhere to ask me more questions about it.”
Karyn threw her leg over Derpy’s back, and Derpy warped back to Equestria, scanning the skies and getting on the ground quickly. Instead of walking directly to her house, she took a circuitous route through alleys and yards. Karyn followed, both amused and interested in seeing parts of Ponyville she never had before.
If anyone did notice them, it was only because Derpy was sneaking around on the tips of her hooves and peering around corners before turning them. They were not accosted as they entered her house, and with Derpy’s organizational skills, it only took her a moment to find the book and put it in her saddlebag.
“Actually, can I hang on to it for the way back?” asked Karyn. “I’ll read the blurb or look at the cover. And I want to make sure that I can read the Equestrian writing.”
“Sure.”
“I promise not to drop it.”
“Go ahead.” Derpy made to head back to the sky, but then said, “No, that’s wrong. I shouldn’t say that. Even if I don’t want to read it, I don’t want it damaged. I’d just like to get it back to Rainbow.”
“Did somepony say my name?”
“Gyaah!” Derpy was about to go into her takeoff as they left the house, but stumbled, requiring Karyn to right herself and hop off to land on her feet.
“Hi, Rainbow Dash,” she said, hiding the book behind her back.
“How’s it going? Having fun?”
“Yes, you just startled me,” said Derpy. “I was about to get in the air.”
“Distractions are a part of flying. You shouldn’t have reacted to me when I spoke to you until you were airborne.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You love to fly, and everything else is a distraction.” If there was one benefit of Rainbow’s increased attention, it was that Derpy felt freer to needle her.
“Good point. But even so, you need to be a responsible flyer or you’ll get hurt.”
“I guess, but so long as I get in the air I’m OK.”
Karyn had only half believed Derpy’s claim that Rainbow had been meeting her a lot, but now this gave it credence. “So were you waiting for us?”
“Not really,” said Rainbow. “I was doing some cloudwork and spotted you guys playing ninja through the town. You should invite me next time!”
Karyn and Derpy were both embarrassed at having been spotted, and neither gave an explanation. Instead, Karyn said, “But you got here so fast. We didn’t even hear you coming.”
“Well, I am fast. Plus Pinkie Pie’s been teaching me a few tricks. Anyway, I see you’ve got that Daring Do book behind your back. You can’t even stop reading it on Earth, huh, Derpy?”
“Actually,” Derpy said reluctantly, “I was—“
Karyn interrupted her. “Derpy wasn’t going to let the book interfere with our day together.”
“Yes! I understand that you like it, but this is a tradition between me and Karyn, and I don’t want to break it.”
“But when you finish the book,” said Rainbow, “then we can spend lots of time talking about it! The only thing cooler than reading about Daring Do is talking about her.”
“I’m sure you’d say so, but the fact remains that I’m going to go at my own pace with the book. I’m sorry if that inconveniences you.”
Rainbow stared at her with narrow eyes, then laughed out loud. “You just keep getting more awesome, Derpy! You know that? Most ponies don’t talk back to me. Whether it’s in a flying formation or a weather team or such, they’re afraid to contradict me. Only my best friends know to stand up for themselves with me. We’re going to be best buddies, you and me. OK, you guys have fun. Later!”
With a trail of rainbow, she was gone. “What just happened?” asked Derpy.
“I think you impressed her.”
“Whatever. Let’s get back to your place so that you can read this.”
Karyn was happy to follow since they had frozen time on Earth, and she was eager to get it restarted. As Derpy flew up to the transition point, Karyn did as she had said she would and checked the text. Whether it was the magic of the spell or something inherent in the writing, she could read it, but at the same time she knew that it was in a different script. Almost as if her eyes saw Equestrian but her brain saw English.
Once on Earth, Derpy sat in the chair and gave Karyn the bed. “I find it more comfortable to read there,” she said.
Looking through the book, Karyn started to read. It helped that she had seen Rainbow’s imagining of what Daring Do looked like, but in fact the book was short on physical description, at least at the beginning. Karyn peered over her shoulder to see Derpy watching her.
“Is there something else you want to do? It’s probably rude for me to read while you do nothing?”
“No. I can play on the computer or something while you read if you want.”
Karyn tried, but it was too awkward to read with someone else watching. “Why don’t we read it together and see if we can get through some?”
Derpy agreed to this, and they huddled together on the bed. Karyn took the right side when they found out that it was easier for her to turn the pages with fingers than for Derpy to use her hooves. Karyn took note that the paper was both treated to move easily with pressure instead of being turned at the corner, and thicker than usual to help it avoid tearing.
After an hour or so, Derpy said, “See what I’ve been talking about?”
“I do. I think the problem is that this is really more of a children’s book. But it’s also an adventure story. A lot of series will work where it starts off simple but then gets darker as the readers grow up. But right now it’s just about this pegasus who never gets in any real danger. I don’t feel for her when she battles the evil guys, because it’s just her using her gear to show it off. Maybe if I went further, I’d like it, but I don’t think I want to. You can take the book back.”
“Darn! There goes my excuse!”
“Stick it in a drawer and tell Rainbow Dash that I still have it.”
Derpy scowled. “I don’t like to lie when I don’t have to.”
“Mm. Following up, though, I guess that’s why Rainbow Dash liked it. She’s kind of a kid at heart. Intimidating, but still following the dreams of her youth. That’s the thing, you would never see yourself doing the things that Daring Do does. She wants to do stuff like that.”
“Makes sense.”
“What’s harder to understand,” said Karyn as she closed the book, “is why Twilight Sparkle was so into them. I know it was she who turned Rainbow Dash onto the series.”
“Twilight reads everything she can get her hooves on.”
“Yes, and it’s possible that she just picked out the best thing she knew for Rainbow to get her to read. But from what I remember, Twilight is also a fan of the series in general.”
Derpy put the book in her saddlebag to get it out of sight. “Maybe she wants to be flying on adventures like Daring as well.”
Karyn shook her head. “She read it before she got wings. It’s something I’ll want to ask her, maybe. It would be interesting to see how someone who thinks differently about something does so.”
“I don’t know why anypony likes it.”
“No, but that’s OK. See, it’s like what I was saying before, how a book can make you think everyone would love it. Just because you can understand a work’s merit, doesn’t mean you have to like it. It’s fine to say that something just isn’t for you, but that you can see why other people are really passionate about it.”
“You’re right! What I need to do is to take this book and give it back to Rainbow Dash. I’ll just explain to her that it’s not for me.”
Karyn stared the way Derpy often did when she had trouble understanding something. “That wasn’t what I was thinking about, but yes, it’s a good idea. Just remember that in a lot of ways, you’re more mature than Rainbow Dash. She’s very talented, and has more drive, but you’ve been through more, and have some wisdom that she doesn’t.”
“I’ll tell her that I prefer biographies, and she’ll probably try to get one written about herself.”
They shared a laugh at that.
The rest of the day was spent in relative relaxation, but despite her confidence, Derpy was still a little anxious as she went home. Fully expecting Rainbow Dash to be waiting outside her home, if indeed she wasn’t hovering at where Derpy appeared when she traveled from Earth, Derpy sighed as she felt the weight of the book in her bag.
But Rainbow wasn’t there, and Derpy made it in without any sort of sneak tactics this time. She put some water on the boil for a late cup of tea, and looked out the window.
“I know you’re out there,” she said aloud. “And I know you’re going to be disappointed that I can’t be your reading buddy. I hope you’ll still be nice to me the way you’ve been, but maybe in a little more Derpy way and less of a Rainbow way.”
“What did you say?” Derpy turned around, but it was only Dinky coming down the stairs.
“Oh, nothing. Mommy was just talking to herself. Would you like some tea?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Derpy set off to make another pot, with just a little bit of a spring in her step. When Dinky had spoken, she had thought for a second that it was Rainbow, but she wasn’t afraid at all.
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Humans and Magic?
Id go for Alan Dean Foster, Spellsinger series, PG13
Terry Pratchett, Discworld series.
Freindship is Magic,
but Comedy is for Life.
5616002
150 chapters of two friends hanging out.... Wait a minute!
Rainbow is Rainbow. Glad she appreciates spunk, but that might raise her bar for Derpy...
Keep going! ;)
Just some stuff I caught. Freaking love your story! You made me love humpdays again, pjabrony. Please never stop writing <3.
5620764 I fixed the first. It's dangerous to go alone! But the second was intentional. She's pluralizing the titles to indicate that she's read that series and others like it, and to be a little humorous in her language. She could have said, "and the Lord of the Ringses" as well.
“I guess, but I’ve never liked books that do that. In my opinion, you’ve got to go at a pace. Introduce a character, let the audience get to know one. Actually, if it were up to me, I could easily sit through a hundred and fifty chapters of characters just talking and going out to have fun, even if they never had any big adventures like Daring Do.”
Now where have I read something like this before??
5621474 What gave me away?
That "born-again-fan" you talk about - that Rainbow Dash has become towards the Daring Do series - is of course a very fitting description of many, many MLP:FiM fans. I assume that was intentional?
“I guess, but I’ve never liked books that do that. In my opinion, you’ve got to go at a pace. Introduce a character, let the audience get to know one. Actually, if it were up to me, I could easily sit through a hundred and fifty chapters of characters just talking and going out to have fun, even if they never had any big adventures like Daring Do.”
I enjoy it when stories becone self-aware this way.