The dazzlings return

by Twinight

Mysterious beings

Rainbow dash kicked a soccer ball as hard as she could getting it into to goal as quick as possible,"Goal!"Rainbow dash cheered. "The score is now 7 to 1" she smirked at Sunset shimmers who she was agienst in this game,Sunset glared at her.

"I thought this was just for fun." Sunset explained with a smile,Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"It is,I'm just better."She smirked,Sunset rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to play with someone who's always going to boast about their achievements, its about the fun in the game not winning." Sunset explained, trying to make a point,Rainbow dash didn't listen she just rolled her eyes and did some tricks with the ball,Sunset rolled her eyes and sat on the bleachers.Rainbow glared at Sunset but Sunset just ignored her,Rainbow just crossed her arms and walked off and as soon as sunset knew it the bell rang she ran off too get to class.

***
Adagio sat in math class zoning off,as usual,she was busy thinking about something else her plans,she sat in her desk,folding her arms the other students just glared at her,ever since the battle of the battles everyone's hated the dazzlings some reputation,finally the bell rung it was now lunch,Adagio left the classroom and agent too the cafeteria. When Adagio had arrived she noticed Sonata and Aria gossiping about something or at least it seemed like that because how quit they were being,Adagio sat down.

"I think he's sexy." Sonata said twirling her hair,Aria gave sonata a descusted look.

"Please, I think he's weird,I mean have you seen the way he acts!" Aria shouted finally breaking the silence.Sonata looked at Aria blinking abit.

"I think its unique." Sonata blushed. Aria rolled her eyes.

"Oh please you say that about every guy." Aria implied angerly. Adagio looked at both of them.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" Adagio glared at them both waiting for a answer.

"YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T MEET HIM YET!!!??!" Sonata shouted,everyone in the cafeteria looked at her,she blushed embarrassed. Aria just glared at her.

"He's a new student at this school." Aria replied,rolling her eyes at sonata.

"And give me one reason why I should care." Adagio quietly shouted,Sonata shrugged.
"Well we never said you had to care!"Sonata titles.
"What does this new guy look like?" Adagio asked lifting an eyebrow.
"I thought you said you didn't care." Aria point out,Adagio rolled her eyes.
"I never said I did,I'm just asking a simple question." Adagio replied strictly.
"Well..." Sonata paused. "He has green and white hair,he wears all dark cloths,and he has gray skin." Sonata grinned.
"And he acts like an abnormal freak." Aria added.
"ITS UNIQUE!" Sonata replied,her face was slightly red.Aria rolled her eyes.
"This is why you're the worst." aria commented.
"You are!" Sonata replied.
"Will you idiots shut up!" Adagio said raising her voice.Aria folded her arms.Sonata opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.The bell rung.Everyone in the cafeteria left in a whole sea of students the Dazzlings were the last ones out of the cafeteria.As soon as Sonata got into the hallway she saw him,the new guy she blushed deeply.
"What are you looking at?!" Aria asked,annoyed.Sonata didn't answer,she was too busy staring,Adagio grabbed her arm harshly.
"Dagi,easy! You know I have fragile bones!" Sonata cried. Adagio rolled her eyes and moved along,they walked up stairs and departed into their classes.
Adwgio walked into her ELA class and sat down,she looked up at the board tapping her fingers on her desk waiting for the teacher too walk in,A few seconds before the bell rang her teacher Mr.Prindle walked in. "Good afternoon class,as you can see there's a new student today,this is Crescent Souls,make him feel comfertable." Adagio gasped once she heard the name,she's seen it someone before.The teacher seated him next to Adagio,she just ignored him,but she didn't ignore the fact that she knows him from somewhere...
Mr.Prindle walked to to the front of the class. "Turn to chapter 8 page 79,in Cross cram." Everyone took out the book cross cram,it was a realistic fiction book about a girl who got trapped in anthor world.The teacher handed Crescent Souls one of the paperback copys of the book. He began reading.
Soon enough the bell rung,school was finally over,Adagio walked to her locker and tossed the book into her locker,Sonata and Aria walked towards Adagio,there lockers being right next to hers,they had no say in it.Sonata smiled widely,Adagio rolled her eyes and grabbed her eyes as they walked out of the school building.
"Sooo I see the new guy was in your ELA class." Sonata finally said,breaking the silence between the three.
"Yes,he was and I learned his name as well." Adagio replied,Sonata grinned.
"You did?!" Sonata and aria both asked in unison both in different tones.
"Yes." Adagio answered. "His name is Crescent souls."

Comments

[Europa]

power and after

Remove 'and'.

fixes there pendents

Their.

pendents,they're

Space after comma.

then before

Than.

, when in school

New sentence.

that sonata

Capitalize Sonata.

adagio is more

Capitalize Adagio.

concerned on her

Change on to about.

plans she comes

plans. Adagio comes

familiar in this new guy

Change in to about.

guy she knows

guy. She knows

from some were

Somewhere

no idea were.

Where.

Gotta be honest, with this many mistakes in just the summary, I'm not feeling like this is even worth reading.

[Phaedra]

If the long description is any sign, I'd better keep Weird Al's Word Crimes song at the ready.

[GoneGuy]

5769709

Really rude comment, but funny nonetheless.

[FunFunFUN]

Ok, I gave it a shot...needs fixing then it would be interesting

[Maxes Altho]

5769727 he's always posting that video. Unfortunately, a lot of the stories he posts it on have lots of grammatical crimes

[Elric of Melnipony]

5769706
I have to agree. I'm wondering if English is even this writer's native language.

[Twinight]

5771805 English is my first language if you think its that terrible i'll just delete and there done

[Twinight]

5769706 there fixed the mistakes you have stated into what you said it should be

[Phaedra]

5770024
5769727

he's always posting that video.

I am?

[Maxes Altho]

5774343 well, someone is. I guess I see your name on a lot of stories that have that video commented.

[Phaedra]

5775001 I've posted the video once. You might be thinking of ChangelingLumin.

[Twinight]

5769709 if its that bad I'll just delete the story since everyone hates so much I don't really care if I delete it or not

[Phaedra]

6009220 Or you could get an editor and proofreader.

[Twinight]

6009222 I need to find someone who has time for it,i've tried the writers group but no ones ever gotten back to me,but yeah I'm pretty aware of that I'll just have to try harder to find a editor

[Phaedra]

6009230 Well, you can always try the Looking for Editors group. Make sure to post your thread when there are 2000+ users online (as shown at the bottom of the pages). Or I could make the recommendation of Never2muchpinkie.

[Twinight]

6009240 OK,thankyou, I just joined the group,you're a real help

[Twinight]

5771805 English is my first language can't you keep your rude comments to yourself I have feelings you know and your rude comments just make me feel awful

[Twinight]

Strange last time I checked this story had 5 likes 9 dislikes what happened to that 9th dislike because now its 7 likes and 8 dislikes

[Twinight]

6166927 I typ my story's on my tablet so i can't honey say its easy for my to notice that

[ChangelingLumin]

5776326 Did someone call me?

[OmniFox]

Crescent Souls' picture?

[Sweetie Bow]

6129876
I know how it feels when most of the comments are about that you wrote something wrong