Everyone has Feelings.
It was a cold, and gloomy day. The weather team had moved in a thunderstorm over Ponyville, to refill a reserve that held water for Cloudsdale, if it ever needed any. Dr. Whooves was walking on his way home, he had been conduction some experiments with the Time Space Continuum. He had a few scrolls and drawings in his saddlebags, and was holding an umbrella above them carefully. Even though his were made of the finest waterproofing material in Ponyville, he still was not taking any chances. Suddenly, he felt something hit him in the back, knocking him over. When he got up and looked back, he saw a grey Pegasus, with a large mail bag.
He looked at the Pegasus and said, "Hey there! Watch where your going! I have very important things in these bags!" The grey Pegasus got to it's feet and looked at him, but then turned with a gasp and grabbed all the letters that had fluttered out of the bag. Dr. Whooves, feeling a little embarrassed at how he had responded, tried to help and grab some letters. After he had grabbed as many as he could, he turned and dropped them in the mailbag, landing with a whoosh
He then said, "I'm terribly sorry for the way i had responded before, I didn't mean to, i just got worried that my scrolls would get wet." After the grey Pegasus had stuffed the letters back into it's bag, Dr. Whooves looked to see that it was a mare, but she had an odd expression on her face.
Dr. Whooves then asked "Are you alright? Are you hurt? It seems something has happened to your face."
The grey Pegasus responded, "No... I'm alright, it's just..." she looked away from Dr. Whooves.
.
Dr. Whooves then said, "What about your eyes?" Then the grey mare looked him right in the face, this made Dr. Whooves feel weird inside, a feeling he hadn't felt since he was in his young fillyhood. A feeling that felt warm, and fuzzy, with a slight spice to it.
He then said, "Oh, you have a wall eyed stare, interesting, i have never seen that before, it suits you nicely though."
The mare looked puzzled, and then said, "Really? Nopony has ever said that to me before."
"Yes indeed!" Dr. Whooves said, "There quite interesting, as i said before."
The mare blushed, and replied, "Thanks, people usually think I'm weird or something." just as she said this, the weather team was clearing the sky, letting a ray of sun, shine down onto the two ponies in the street.
Dr. Whooves then said, "Well, it seems the rain is over, looks like nice weather for now. By the way, what is your name? I am Dr. Whooves."
The mare, wiping the blush off of her face as best as she could, then said, "My name is Derpy Whooves, but you can call me Ditzy, most people call me that."
Dr. Whooves looked at her and smiled, he was thinking about his studies he had to get back to. He looked at the sun, realized it was sunset, and how he had to study that night, decided to bid Ditzy farewell.
"Alright then Ditzy, it was a pleasure meeting you, even if it wasn't in the most pleasant way" said Dr. Whooves.
Both Ponies laughed at this and bid each other farewell, yet neither could stop thinking about one another for a long period of time.
Now was the end of the day, Derpy had gone back to her small apartment, it was cozy, it needed a cleaning though, crumbs were all around the couch in the living room. Dr. Whooves went back to his laboratory, he went to the bedroom, dropped his saddlebags off to the side of the door, and laid in bed. They both were getting ready for bed, when each had a sudden wave of thought, it was like they were connected. Derpy could see in her mind, the studies Dr. Whooves had been conducting, in this weird place, that looked like the stars but up close. Dr. Whooves saw Derpy imagining herself laying upside down on the couch, eating a freshly baked blueberry muffin. There was only one thing, in each imagination, there was what seemed to be a partner to each imagination.
"Is it really...? How so soon though, i mean we only just met..." said Dr. Whooves, in deep thought.
"But... hes a scientist, he doesn't like people like me..." Derpy said, with a sad expression on her face.
"Hum, i wonder how bad asking her for some tea and biscuits would be."
"Ugh, why does everypony i like HAVE to be super smart... and super handsome..." Said Derpy.
"I shall ask her tomorrow, but i have to be formal."
"I wonder if i will ever see him again... No, can't think like this, not this time, come on!"
"Ugh, what if she says no? Well, i guess it wasn't meant to be, but gosh, why is this so hard?"
Both ponies sat for a long time, thinking about one another, the feelings were unshakeable. Sleep was little for both ponies that night, work would be hard tomorrow, but for the time being, only one thing crossed each others mind. That one thing that is indescribable, unexplainable, that one, little, thing. It annoys everypony at one time in their lives, but not like this, this was stronger, like gasoline onto a raging forest fire, it only gets hotter and hotter. In another way, spice to a chilli pepper, something so hot, yet the burn can be amazing, when used in the right dish, but with just the right mixture of sugar, spice and everything nice.
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Pretty cool, can't wait for part 2
I suggest you learn the difference between "your" and "you're".
5077549 Said i made this a long time ago, and to expect errors, i know the difference, i probably have a higher IQ, considering you didn't use a comma in that sentence.
5077669
Don't trifle with me, child. There is absolutely nothing in your story description -- which is all I've read -- saying that any reader should expect errors. I'm assuming you said this in an author's note, but given that I was quoting directly from the description, someone as brilliant as you are would no doubt have been able to gather that I was only referring to said description.
Even if the story was written some time ago, there was nothing stopping you from correcting it before posting it to the site; also, the description is brand new and would presumably be error-free if you're as skilled as you claim to be. I have my doubts concerning those skills, however, considering your failure to capitalize the personal pronoun "I" twice in your reply. It's also worth noting that the sentence in my previous comment doesn't require a comma as there were only two items separated by the conjunction; had I been listing three or more, you might have had a valid point.
Finally, the offer to whip out one's IQ as a form of virtual genital-measuring contest is a sign of someone who is truly insecure. But now that you've made the offer, I realize that this could have amusement value. You pick a free, online test and provide a link. We'll both take the test and compare screencaps of results. Deal?
5077689 Yay, you replied, idiot. You just fell into my trap, my hole in the ground, and i know what your thinking. I saw you coming from a mile away, ready to pester me with your logic. If you had any real intelligence, you would have said nothing more, not replying to my comment, it was put there to piss you off in the first place, which i can see it did it's job very well. So why don't you go crawl up into your hole again, sit in my pit of despair, why don't you, because for you my friend, i have one thing to say: You have been Rekt.
5077745
You're in no position to be calling anyone an idiot.
5077797 Well i did, got a problem? Deal With It Like A Man. Your Rekt Status: Rektangle
5077745 quickmeme.com/img/2b/2b8f11b7c64f429513f51fd23274762c5b284507e6328d4c5101c290d5d5d9f1.jpg
Well, at least it wasn't a dark and stormy night. The comma after Cold isn't necessary, though.
Um, what? Presuming you meant something like, "The weather team had moved a thunderstorm over Ponyville in order to refill a reservoir in case Cloudsdale needed an extra source of water."
His name is generally given as "Hooves" now, but that's no biggie. Don't need the On there either.
Funny, I was just doing that, too. Small multiverse, eh? The word you're looking for is Conducting, however; and it's usually written as Space/Time or Space-Time, or even Spacetime, but that last one is weird.
Sounds like my girlfriend.
Something hitting a pony in the back probably wouldn't knock them over; it might make them crumple a little, but I doubt it could actually tilt them. Maybe if he got hit in the barrel instead it'd make more sense?
This is just the first paragraph.
5077908 Luv u h8ers, gotta love yer memes, make me laugh every time.
5077926 You are worthy of respect, mature response, that's the kind of responses i can use to correct my work.
Yeah, this might have been written a while ago but there's more than just spelling errors and the occasional lapse in grammar. You need an editor but before then you need to expand this. It's barely 1000 words long. Dr Hooves runs into Derpy, they like each other and can't stop thinking about each other. That's it. You need more not only words but ideas.
Stories, especially when you're starting, need to be longer. I always say aim for 1200-1500 words per chapter but push for 2000. That's only the first issue though.
5077926 pointed out a lot of mistakes in the first paragraph but the rest of the story does not fare any better. It's pretty bland, you mistake "fillyhood" for "colthood" or possibly "foalhood" and the final paragraph is just a mess of commas.
5078825 Yeah, i know, but i didn't want to edit it (out of shear laziness) so i posted it as i would. Next chapter will go more into detail, explaining this mess, and giving it a better plot, thanks for commenting like an actual human being, and not a self loathing asshole, like the others. Gonna aim for 2500+ words.
5077905 And you deal with it like a man and don't resort to petty insults.
5079764 U WOT M890101!? Is that a challenge? Because i think a challenge has been presented.
Meh was ok I guess, was pretty rushed, like REALLY rushed. Some things in there that just didn't make sense, lots of grammatical errors too. Needs work, and quite a bit of it.
5080426 Yeah, i know it wasn't that great, but can i get your opinion on one thing, should i take it down, keep the concept of it, rewrite it completely, because i wrote this 4 years ago, when i was 11. Thanks.
5079771 yeah...no. I don't accept challenges from children. It's not worth it to be arguing with a child on the Internet.
5082179 Hmmk. Any time u looking for a MLG quickscoper, talk to me.
5077745
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/49846168.jpg
5083514 Loved the meme, made me laugh, i liek teh comment.
5083560
There was certainly a good concept. But there were a lot of details that were unnecessary or just didn't make sense. Honestly the begining was good with how they met and all, the whole crashing into each other is good. But some things like how did they know each other's professions? Anyway, you need to split the story up more into different chapters, the plot moved to fast and there wasn't enough explanations.
5085036 Thanks for the Input! I am taking the story down and rewriting it! I made this when i was WAY to young to write, so I'm going to redo it. Also, Derpy's profession is kinda obvious when she crashes into you with a mailbag, thanks for the mature content, unlike some others.