Just another pony fan. All hail AppleDashLight!
Applejack and Rainbow Dash have been dating for a while and things seem to be going pretty well. Every time they can't come to an agreement on something, they do random competitions, just as they always have. This time around is no exception. When they can't compromise on a dating spot, they decide to do what comes natural. Who will win? Applejack? Or Rainbow Dash?
This story is an entry for the AppleDash contest.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Twilight was quite tired after the days events. She had a conference with the mayor, went to Sugarcube Corner to test Mrs. Cake's new cupcakes, helped Fluttershy briefly with her animals, signed a few document for the mayor of Fillydelphia, and read a few books with Spike. This sentence should be Twilight was quite tired after the day’s events. She had a conference with the mayor, went to Sugarcube Corner to test Mrs. Cake's new cupcakes, helped Fluttershy briefly with her animals, signed a few documents for the mayor of Fillydelphia, and read a few books with Spike.
The sentence The smell of that wonderful brew lit up her sense of smell with pleasantries and happiness which were the only things to use to describe it's aroma. This sentence should be The smell of that wonderful brew lit up her sense of smell with pleasantries and happiness which were the only things to use to describe its aroma.
The sentence Seemed like she was angry about something. Should be It seemed like she was angry about something.
I'm sorry if I come across as being a jerk when I point out the mistakes that were made, but I am just trying to help.
5307720 No that's ok. I was rushing myself to finish this story and didn't get to polish off the edges. I may go and fix it up in the future, but I got a few projects I'm busy with at the moment. Thanks for letting me know about the errors
The sentence Soon the moon would be eclipsing the sun and cows would flying around. The sentence should be Soon the moon would be eclipsing the sun and cows would fly around. Or the sentence should be Soon the moon would be eclipsing the sun and cows would be flying around.
The sentence That would that would make this interesting and less predictable wouldn't it? The sentence should be: That would make this interesting and less predictable, wouldn’t it?
The sentence She could picture it now, Applejack and herself skating along like genuine bad flanks and laughing for no apparent reason other that the fact that they were having fun and doing awesome spins and stuff. The sentence should be: She could picture it now, Applejack and herself skating along like genuine bad flanks and laughing for no apparent reason other than the fact that they were having fun and doing awesome spins and stuff.
The sentence If you guessed anypony other than Pinkie Pie, then you need to watch more ponies man. Should be If you guessed anypony other than Pinkie Pie, then you need to watch more ponies, man.
The sentence Now that she had her coffee, she could prepare for the days events and win! Should be Now that she had her coffee, she could prepare for the day’s events and win!
The sentence There was no way she would lose to Rainbow Dash because they were on Sweet Apple Acres, her territory that she grew up on from the time she was just a filly. Should be There was no way she would lose to Rainbow Dash because they were on Sweet Apple Acres, her territory that she had grown up on from the time she was just a filly.
The sentence It was almost time and she could never be more ready for some aside from being accepted into the wonderbolts which would be the icing on the cake. Should be It was almost time and she could never be more ready for something aside from being accepted into the Wonderbolts which would be the icing on the cake.
The reason that the word wonderbolts needs to be capitalized is because it is a proper noun. For more on this: go to this website: http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/The_Wonderbolts
The sentence Well was a few times... Should be Well there was a few times...
The sentence "You're going down AJ!" Rainbow stared determinedly at Applejack and readied herself for take off. Should be "You're going down AJ!" Rainbow stared determinedly at Applejack and readied herself for takeoff.
She pulled a cinnamon bun from... well use your imagination. Are you really sure that you want to say that? I mean, some people out there have really sick and twisted imaginations. I know this because I am one of them. Now I am not saying that my mind went there immediately or that that was an image that I wanted in my mind, but after a few seconds, my mind went there and it disgusted me.
The sentence “It's fine Pinkie, you can wave the flag." Should be “Its fine Pinkie, you can wave the flag."
The sentence We did the last one together, and there is an equal number of trees, so I think it should be a tie." Should be We did the last one together, and there are an equal number of trees, so I think it should be a tie."
Again sorry if I come across as being a jerk when I try to help fix the grammatical and spelling errors
5307783 It would seem I have a bit of work to do here
It's all good. I accept any and all forms of constructive criticism because it helps me and I otherwise may not notice the error at all. Thanks for the help 