Just another pony fan. All hail AppleDashLight!
Fluttershy has always been grateful for what she has, but often feels the weight of her shyness and anxiety. She fights every day to deal with her problems, but there are some battles you just can't fight alone. It takes the help of a certain somepony to realize that, no matter what, you never have to be alone when you struggle.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I know that feel, Fluttershy.
Great story btw. 
5436021 Thank you! I have a lot planned for this story. It was one of those dreams that felt so real, it was like I was there
Amazing work! Can't wait to see more chapters!
5437104 Thank you!
Heh... this could make things a little different at the party thingy... you never fail to impress me.... bravo!
Plus, I'm sorry if I read this like, 10 hours after you post it, I think we have different time zones.... but I'll always try and read it whenever possible! After all, I wouldn't miss a post from this story!
5591748 Thank you! This one has been a challenge for me to write honestly. Nevertheless, it has been a powerful story emotionally thus far and it will continue to deliver the same level of intensity through the story
I bet it it! You're doing well though considering how difficult you're finding it.... seriously though, cannot wait to see what the others react like... it's gonna get good!
5594094 Indeed it will. A lot of sad things will happen before it gets better for her
Hmm, well, I'll leave you be and wait for the new chapter... no pressure of course! Xx
I have only read this chapter but here is my opinion so far. I'll start with what you did well.
I feel like your characterization is very good, as Fluttershy and Rarity feel in character. The way Rarity talks and the way Fluttershy acts for example. And I like the amount of description you put into events. Too much and it bogs down the narrative and also doesn't allow for the reader to "fill in the blanks," a concept which makes literature unique. And too little and no one cares about the events =P
However, immediately I think your work would benefit from two things that are very integral to writing a good story. The idea of "Show, Don't Tell," and another idea I know not it's name, that could be summed up as a "Narrative Hook." Show Don't Tell means that you should not tell us how your characters feel or their motives, but instead describe how they're doing whatever they're doing or what they're thinking. For example, you wrote "Rarity's concern was written clear as day on her face for her dear friend. Fluttershy didn't feel like talking about it." It would be better to write something like "Rarity scrunched her face, taking in the gravity of Fluttershy's apparent disposition. Fluttershy rubbed her hooves awkwardly on the floor and wished Rarity would change the subject." Do you see how in your example that there is no room for the reader to interpret what is happening whereas in the second one the reader is 'challenged' so to speak, thus it creates more intrigue?
And with the Narrative Hook, that is the idea that you should draw your reader in immediately (within the first chapter), which is a little more complicated. My opinion of how to do this is to basically have your narrative create a question in the readers, like yours would be "Why is Fluttershy having a bad dream and what is it of?" however it is very clear why she is from reading the chapter. Without that there is nothing keeping the reader from leaving. The reason a good book hooks you and you can't put it down is because they make you wonder something at first until you learn enough about the characters to care about their struggles and thus want to see what happens to them.
Let me know if you don't understand something I said, or if you'd like more constructive criticism, as that is one of my favorite things =D
5762499 Thanks for the review! I'll try to incorporate those two ideas going into the following chapters and edit the first two slightly. I'm still learning a lot, and it helps to get tips and constructive criticism to make stories better