Rainbow Dash is very dissatisfied with how Spitfire runs the Wonderbolts Academy, but what would be if Spitfire's behavior was just an act?
An alternative ending to the episode: Wonderbolts Academy
Chapters (1)
FallenLaughter
Joined 25th May, 2012 ·
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When you interrupt the dialogue with "he said informally" or whatever, you don't put the second comma inside the quotation marks. You put it after the last word before the second set of quotes.
On the positive side this would have been a far better ending to the episode.
4948085 hmm, thanks for the info. that's one of the problems when you write in a different language, you need to relearn the whole grammar stuff and everything. I try to do better next time.
Have a nice day^^
4948186 I didn't intend offense, i was just offering constructive criticism. I hope you were not offended, especially because I loved this story.
4948201 Not at all, not all. don't worry
geez guys, do i really sound that unfriendly when i write?
4948305 No, I was just on edge from my significant other coughing 4 feet away the whole evening. Sudden noises are kinda trigger for a disorder of mine
I tend to dread offending people when I'm high strung.
4948407 always nice to hear
. and thank you for reading^^
Excellent work, gets you thinking about other ways they could have done that episode. This is powerful.
A bit better than canon (that ending always annoyed me as it seemed that Spitfire didn't even talk to Lightning Dust first before ripping off her badge).
However, the grammar in this story DESPERATELY needs work.
I had to make a dislike on this. The problem wasn't Rainbow Dash being irresponsible. She was actually more responsible than ever in the episode taking all of Spitfire's abuse. Spitfire didn't chaperon her students and allowed things to get to a point where 5 civilians almost died. Spitfire was awful in that episode and should have been punished.
I know that she was just being a drill sergeant but in the marines they'll yell at you for disobeying them but Spitfire cheered Lightning Dust on for it.
6396631 sorry, but i don't really understand what you're trying to say. care to elaborate a little?
6398662 Just that Spitfire allowed Lightning Dust to cheat and break the rules.
6398757 except that lightning dust never really cheated. sure she did things a little extreme, but it was always within the limits of what the academy allowed. yes, her behavior was somewhat troublesome, but unlike canon spitfire who simply didn't notice, my spitfire simply choose not to interfere too much because she wanted to see how dash would handle things. she was fully aware that lightning wasn't doing great, but you see there's an old saying for that: "a watched child never learns". if she had intervened earlier, she wouldn't just have ruined an important learning opportunity for rainbow dash, but she would also have robbed herself of an opportunity to evaluate rainbows ability's, and really she didn't have to interfere up to this point since lightning didn't do anything really dangerous just yet. the only things she did was being too over competitive during two flying practices, which really is nothing too alarming. not saying it wasn't bad, just that it was still within the limits of being tolerable. it wasn't until a group of civilians decided to appear unannounced at an active military practice ground, one for an entire different species who should all be able to fly and in some way able to fend for themselves no less, that things got out of hand, and seriously you can't really blame spitfire for not being fully prepared for that.
but in the end that's just my opinion. if that's what what you want to take from the story then so be it^^
6400598 If Spitfire didn't notice that Lightning Dust left her partner like Spitfire told her not to then Spitfire needs her eyes checked. And taking out the other players IS cheating.
This would have definitely made a better ending. Have a like.
However, because of all the errors, I can't fav this.
Spitfire proved herself to be completely incompetent. Instead of correcting Lightnings behaviour early she encouraged her again and again. And now she has the nerve to call her out. Wonderbolt Academy would be a better place if she resigned as captain.
6398757
6401325
Just that Lightning Dust never cheated, never broke a rule and surely never tried to "take somepony out".
8812759
You must never have seen the episode.
8812876
Of course I saw it. What are you talking about?
8813082
You don't think Lightning Dust cheated.
8813303
She did not.
8813312
She blasted her competitors into the clouds.
8813315
She just flew through them (together with Rainbow). Not cheating.
8813337
She could've killed them.
8813347
Pegasus can FLY. They were never in danger.
8813348
They crashed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8813353
They crashed on a CLOUD. It is as hard as a pillow.
8813356
Assault and battery.
8813357
Not really. Unnecessary Roughness at worst and even this is more than debatable.
8813369
"Unnecessary roughness" that could've cost lives. OPEN YOUR EYES DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8813540
I repeat myself:
They are PEGASI. They can FLY. The landed on a soft CLOUD. They were NEVER in danger.
Rainbow Dash DID try to rein in Lightning Dust AND called her out on almost getting her friends killed, and Spitfire says that she just complained to her about it? I'm sorry, but I call bull here. Dash did the responsible thing and she KNEW what it takes to be a great leader besides agility and such. It just feels like you purposefully made her ignorant to make Spitfire in the right, when in reality, that was never the case in the episode.