A Lesson in Portals

by GameytheGeemer

Portal Jet's Diary 2/10

Dear Diary

Now that I finished primary school, my letter of acceptance from 'The Academy' (I've decided that that's how I'm going to short hand it, since having a 14 word name is a hassle to write out). So, I was expecting that I would wait until the start of next school year to go to the finishing school proper. And wow, was I pleasantly surprised when I found out that that wasn't the case.

When I read the letter, I found out that I had to go to the railroad station today to go ahead and go to the campus, something about familiarizing me with the campus. But that's not even the best part of all that's happened today, when I got to the train platform, I saw a few of my friends there, specifically Que Ball and Golf Club. And that made me a lot less nervous than I had been. After all, I thought that it was just going to be brainiacs like Square Root and Waveform going to this school, and I only got in because I had a higher magical potential than the rest of my class mates. Again, that was a huge relief.

Anyway, we played games for a while, settling on indoor bowling as the best way of passing time. That lasted until the scientists stopped us to keep an eye on our mana levels, and they wrote down all kinds of numbers on the spells we were using. They didn't seem to be too impressed by the simplicity of our spells. But it was fun, since there weren't any Earth Ponies or Pegasi on the train we used our basic levitation spells to play better.

After a while of the indoor bowling, a researcher came in and gave us a basic little fun riddle, "What question can you never answer yes to?" I had given up after a few minutes of guessing to myself, but eventually Square Root got the answer with, "Are you dead?". That was really how the rest of the day carried on with the researchers asking us a lot of trivial questions. They said it was to help our critical thinking skills that we're going to need for the lessons at the school.

It was then that I decided to ask one of the researchers what kind of magic would it be that we would be learning about at The Academy, and she give me a shifty answer. She said something about the magic we would learn would be more or less situational to the room that we would be learning them in, but with a good mind we would be able to do more than they were basically made for. I still don't know what that means, but from the sound of it we're going to be spending time in more than one room per day, so I'm looking froward to that. All the adults were right, finishing school is going to be amazing.

I can't wait to see what the inside of this school is going to look like. It sounds so interesting.

From,

Portal Jet

Comments

[Civviq Writer]

All right, this does look promising, but you have a long way to go.

First of all, the thing that bothers me most is chapter lenght. Look around, and you'll see chapters from at least 1000 words. That is also the minimum length, and for a couple of reasons.

The chapters also feel incredibly rushed. Take your time to explain things. Who is Portal? What is Mana? What is going on? Just by writing this down can give you a longer chapter.

There are also a few misspellings... but they aren't that bad, though. I'm not the one to pick on that sort of things, since English isn't my native language and since I'm on my phone, there might even be mistakes in this comment, sooo.... anyway.

Keep on writing!

[GameytheGeemer]

4926693
Yeah, I have to agree with you. It's been bothering me about how short I end up making chapters as well. I'm actually going to be explaining more or less what Mana is, as far as science knows since that's the purpose of The Academy, in the next Diary Entry Chapter.

As for what's going on, that's something that I want to build up for suspense and have the details revealed around the end of the story.

Thank you very much for taking an interest in my first fanfiction. I hope that you continue reading until the end.