Fredrick falls into Equestria and he is allowed to stay in the castle for his troubles. There, he meets and quickly befriends Princess Luna, and their quickly evolving relationship allows them to explore the 'benefits' of being close, best friends.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5506631
I'll be reading based on this excerpt alone.
Query: How difficult is it to make up a reason to make a person/pony a "noble" in this variant of Equestria?
That is in a way that isn't obviously purely to make it less "taboo" for that person/pony to be dating royalty. From what I can tell that should solve most of the issues here. Though it may not be "good TV" as they say.
5510855 Theoretically, yes. It's more of the xenophobia and general arrogance of the more conservative nobility that prohibits things, which is what's gonna be central to this story. Wouldn't be too interesting if there wasn't some obstacle to overcome and I figured this was reasonable.
So to answer, it depends. I don't like taking the easy route of "By decree you're officially duke." Seems half-hearted
Fuck that shit.
...HERE COMES MONGO!
5510862 So basically just "That's no fun, this way is fun." That's cool.
Also, [obligatory "Senpai noticed me" comment here]
And lastly back on topic to the latest chapter:
I just have to say that the wording, grammar, and vocabulary of this fan fic is absolutely tremendous! Keep up the good work.
I can't wait for the next chapter.
5511022 Thank you very much! I'm glad you're still enjoying the ride.
great chapter you deserve a nose boop
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/tumblr_m2gfw2gtbw1r6i662o1_r1_500_by_scarlett_novel-d7b3svf.png
stay classy
5511220 *Gasp*
That was my nose boop
5511368
*pulls out a stash of nose boops*
It's okay, you can have some of mine
someone is getting 'sorry I made a barrier which knocked you out, please don't hate me sex'
I'm glad there's an actual story and not just an excuse plot to get a human and Luna bumpin' uglies. The story itself is pretty good too.
5511425 That is as good as "I am sorry that we had a misundersranding and if only I asked a few questions before assuming the worst we could have avoided all of this" sex.
intriguing a vary nice plot twist, I am really liking this story more and more.
harts fire
5511368 ......another
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/boop.gif
stay classy
Luna placing that wall is like me in LoL when I play Anivia, always mess up and block my teammates.
5511616 Unless you're feeling particularly troll and you block your teaammates on purpose
troll.me/images/joseph-ducreux/thou-shalt-indeed-agree-dat-ass.jpg
The chase scene was hilarious.
You know that humans can actually outrun a pony, or a horse right? the reason is because, we sweat while they had fur on them so they burn their energy a lot more quick than us, so yeah they can be faster, than us but in a race of endurance (like its happening here) a human will wi no problem, not to mention that she is horny meaning her legs are having a problem on the middle section meaning she will had extra difficulty.
You could add that he is having problem, losing her but not because of she gaining on here and more of she keep popping up every time he time he thing he lost her.
That could help the story and will keep the comic effect
5512115 That makes perfect sense, but in a land of talking anthropomorphic ponies and magic, regardless of fur which really isn't that thick anyways as well as similarities to humans, it isn't far fetched to believe that intricacies of locomotion are a bit different.
That's an interesting fact though, I'll be sure to keep that in mind for fics where the ponies are standard quadrupedal.
5512131
Thanks I wish they would had add that on those xenophobias fics, it was fun at first but they were getting a LOT into 'pony is just the superior race in all accounts, no discussion, humans are just weak, a baby could defeat a human' yeah it was starting to irk me, specially since its basically put a reverse mary stu, (the human is just pathetic while everyone else is superior)
And thanks for considering it, and yeah I can see where are you going with the magic and all that, and we can tell that she manage to catch up with him because of the adrenaline, because magic or not, we are talking about a maid, meaning she is not an runner.
Oh! maybe you can say that with exception of Celestia on a hot summer day, there are times where ALL the citizen must remain on their houses because the heat wave will knock them out EXCEPT Adam that doesn't have a fur, (thin or not, fur is still fur, and is colourful so that mean it grab sun light much more quicker)
also that spineless coward guard, how he got the job on the first place? I know is such a big deal the heat and all that, but he is TRAIN to deal with mobs, intruders, and treats, I imagine somewhere on the manual that includes, spies AND how to deal with mares in heat, or at least the spy section could be of help…and he just RUN…what a coward. I know I'm might be to hard on him but…its his freaking JOB! to protect and serve.
So yeah, I hope there is a reason for why he didn't lived up to its job description, oh! was it because it was his first day?
5511803 Or when they're backing, place it right on them.
With how close they were, Fred's body wouldn't even have a chance to fall to the ground before Crystal slammed into his back.
I honestly didn't notice any big grammar or spelling errors. Good on you and your editors.
5512973 Especially in hide'n'seek doing it on the seekers
Busty Mares ready for some hot sweaty action!? The horror! Run you silly man! RUUUUN!!
quickmeme.com/img/e3/e3329ccda24834b6ffa3e612ad3bfd864309274d824fd3b9dbd9bd417ec5e570.jpg
And Fredrick has a camera? Does that mean he's interested in... photographs?
stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/3714802/nudge-nudge-wink-wink-o.gif
That guard made the right choice. Hell I do the same thing, survival of the fittest and what not.
5521965 I'd be inclined to agree!
5514861 24.media.tumblr.com/2fda122978cab53c9491e09065c5cce9/tumblr_mhlj79Oraq1s51zjyo1_250.gif
5511864 When it suits him. Opportunist for morals as well I'd say, but I'll leave the deep interpretations up to the reader.
5511425
I've been using this too often lol
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Simply brilliant I can't believe I'm typing this but I like blueblood he is a brilliant mind of an ambitious businessman! I do love the turn you gave him. And all in all he is turning to one of my favorites, but you still need him to have a tad more canon elements such as his loud mouth, but at only parties maybe only while drunk as a skunk. to make him more realistic.
Another fantastically written chapter. I applaud you sire.
5536127 Thank you! Hope to see you in Part IX
I'm jealous, Luna is my waifu!
Just kidding, hope to see the next chapter very soon
iam presently writing my own (currently unposted) story, one of the elements of which involves a characters relationship with Luna.
Your story here inspires me to vastly improve on the writing and elements involved in that relationship. The level of depth and relationship development you're expressing here is wonderful and makes me realize i should be working more on my own writing concerning it.
5560268 I'm honored that you think highly of my work. Thank you
And I try to form a believable relationship, taking inspiration from how I act with my best friends as well as how others act with theirs. It seems to be working so far. I look forward to seeing your story once it's published!
I don't always read anthro, but when I do it has Luna in it.
Error in bold. Change to him when possible.
FYI Concussions and sleep do not mix. Also likely that increased blood pressure and brain bruises don't mix either but lets ignore that one .
Liking the story so far. Takes a bit to remember that the ponies are anthro's when I pick up reading the new chapters, but your good imagery in the writing knocks it on it's head quite quickly.
5510855
I think a lot of the kingdoms where that the royalty elected the nobility but the nobility had to confirm it. Although it probably varied quite a lot based on the balance of power with the royalty/nobility/commons.
5562063 I just gotta say this... RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE FRED!!! also, death by rape, sad way to go.
5730728 DEATH BY SNOO-SNOO!
Also, did anyone else hear Benie Hill music during the chase scene? I could swear I heard it.
6151250 Can you send me a link to that? Because I believe I have not herd that yet, and if SNOO-SNOO did not kill him one hell of a ride.
The chase was funny, but I'm more curious and a little more than concerned about Blueblood's end game. I don't know if it's ultimaely good or bad in the end, I almost get this feeling that he wants to try and find a way to politically and legally remove Celestia and Luna from power in some god only know's way. Course that's a ridiculous thought and just me wondering out loud so to speak. Still it's unnerving in the end.
5730728 i know right
XD Wordsworth reference. Very nice
I seriously need to stop reading this so late, I can't contain my laughter very well
I like this Blueblood. Granted, his is a pompous ass, but it is justified, what with his political and executive skills.
The f kind of question is that?