• Member Since 18th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 42 minutes ago

Flammenwerfer


Auf Wiedersehen, fuckboi

Comments ( 1778 )

Is Anon a human or a pony? If the former, shouldn't there be a human tag too?

5161329 ...that is a major oversight. He is indeed human in an Anthro world. Thanks for pointing that out!! :pinkiegasp:

Change has been made. Human tag added.

Why do I have to WAIT for chapter 2!?

5161424 Waiting makes you a better person :twilightsmile:

pure, unadulterated “ear rape”

once You go Black, you go deaf :rainbowlaugh:

This story seems interesting.

I like the idea. Let's see where this goes.

Hmmm... I like where this is going. I'll keep an eye on it.

Alright, not bad at all. I too shall keep an eye on this one.

I can't wait for the next chapter! :)

that was a great first chapter....but now i have to wait, jokes on you i have the high score on the waiting game (192848 hours )
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stay classy :moustache:

I will be watching this... Carefully... Very. Very..... Carefully... Can't wait for the next chapter! :D

Aww yiss, another great Human x Royalty story! Keep up the gr8 work m8! I really like where your taking this! And >>Dudeler you better be working on The Model's Secretary! Haha jk, but srsly, great story so far man, can't wait for more!

Would like to see more. Liked and fav.

~Headtilt~ Okay, liking the concept but I have some comments/queries...

1. Why call him anon? You're not doing it second person, so the choice not to name him seems kinda weird, especially as you've already said he retains all his memories. Why wouldn't he just use his name?

2. You get a little wordy in places with stuff and repeat yourself. Like here -

One thing he did have to get used to was the fact that Celestia was several inches taller than him. He being about five feet, eleven inches as a human male was somewhat above average, and that statistic seemed to hold from what he had seen so far amongst the ponies. However, Celestia was well over six feet, and at least four inches taller than him, so in order to keep eye contact, he had to look up to her.

You've already established that Celestia is taller than him in the first sentence so most of that last line is extraneous. The exact number of inches doesn't really matter to the flow of the story, and if you've established she's taller than him then obviously he'd have to look up to see her face.

The orthogonal table was another one. Do we really need to know exactly where it is in relation to hers? Unless there's some pressing plot need for us to know it's in exactly that location, just saying that it's beside her desk is more than enough for us as readers to picture the scene.

Just some nitpicks there. All in all, though, I liked it. I shall be watching for more because you can never have enough of Luna being adorable.

:yay:

Unrelated but that picture as actually really sad Luna/Mac shipping pic.

I almost missed this due to due retarded way tgthe rating and tags are now separated. I'm glad this popped up in my feed and I read it. Personally I would like some more backstory to how he got there, his time in hospital and his initial contact/reactions with the pipopulace.

I can't wait for more.

5163141
^ "~headtilt~"
wtf r u on drugs cus you dont need to type that shit dude
Probs triple dropped some molly or some shit

Let the cunt right his erotic fanfiction in peace, its not your story
Also do you deal molly? Call me

Rofl I wanted horse porn

Even if I don't finish reading this, the "I regret nothing" at the bottom is enough to make me give it a shot...
That and the Luna x Anon. I love me some Luna x Anono. :pinkiecrazy:

5163141 Excellent questions!

1. I had discussed this with a couple of people and had considered several discrete names, but all seemed to agree that if I wanted better... 'immersion' so to speak, that leaving the name "Anonymous" would be better, regardless of POV. So I followed their advice and it seems to work okay so far. A little too late to change that now lol.

2. Looks like you are indeed right! Let me remove the redundancy.

Thanks :twilightsmile:

5163205 BAHAHAHAHA REALLY??? :rainbowlaugh:

Because that's how I found it... it must not be a complete picture then! In that case though I'll be on the lookout for something better, which I intended to do in the first place. I usually don't keep cover photos until I find the perfect one or make it.

Ohh I like this one already. We need more Luna x human fics.

LUNA IS BEST PONY!
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5163613 Oh don't worry good sir, that's gonna be a recurring theme throughout the story. I tend to skip back-story in a lot of my works so I can get to the nitty-gritty details, and then come back to it later in a flashback. It tends to work better that way in my experience. Thanks for pointing it out though :scootangel:

Really???
MUST READ LATER

Comment posted by Kaneki_Ken-Ryu deleted Oct 20th, 2014

You whoopsie'd your timeline. First referencing 'anon' had been in Equestria for 'half a year' and then another section shortly after references '10 months earlier...'

Stood out so much to me I wanted to plop a comment down before reading further, lest I forget like usual. Otherwise going well so far. :twilightsmile:

I find the story amazing really the only thing is anon I honesly think it destroys the story but it's not my story nor did you ask for a critic so I'll be on my way though all together it's a great story :pinkiehappy:

5165018 Uh oh! thought I fixed that! Thanks for pointing that out!!! Imma fix that right now.

5165018 Found it, and thanks again! Forgot to remove the "half" in my final check.

5165022 I understand and it was mixed honestly. Usually the 'Anonymous' is portrayed only in 2nd person stories, and I don't really enjoy writing in that POV. Seeking the opinions of others, most suggested that I keep 'anonymous' regardless, as it would still help with immersion. If I wanted to name, it was suggested to use a very generic name. The problem was, was that no matter what name I chose, I could never stick with it nor did it feel 'right', ya know? I do realize that most don't really have a problem with an actual name, but I could not find one I liked, nor do I find myself narcissistic enough to insert my own name lel. So, for now, Anonymous stays, an it seems to be working okay so far. If I do decide to change it, I'll put out a massive announcement and make the appropriate changes. Thank you for your input though, and hey, I need critics. It's how I improve my writing! :twilightsmile:

Having finished the chapter, you're definitely on the shelf of 'great quality and engaging storyline' and I look forward to watching this develop. :twilightsmile:

Also, your response time was impressive. :rainbowlaugh:

5165256 Thank you for your kind words, and I hope to keep up the quality and immersion that you have so professed :twilightsmile:

And hey, I lurk fimifction a lot when I'm in between classes or I'm doing my normal work (tab is open with desktop notifications). I find that the experience for the author AND the readers is enhanced as an interactive group. I get SO MUCH feedback and praise from talking with my readers and frankly I love it. Thats one of the reasons why my top story has almost 1700 comments on it :rainbowlaugh:

Oh the anticipation of where this shall lead is killing me in a way :rainbowlaugh:

This is actually one of the more well written stories that I have read on here, and that's saying something, i think, I think i have read a lot of stories on here, but I'm not sure, anyway, it's a good story so far and can't wait for more (kudoes for you, first time I've said that to an author).

Also was going to put in a video or picture of Peter Griffin saying 'Go on' but too lazy to.

Dat picture change though..l,

Even though I'm kinda against the whole Luna picture


What the fuck am I saying:facehoof:

5166216 Wow! Well I'm certainly glad and honored you feel that way! I hope to continue this quality of writing going forward. :twilightsmile:

5166377 YOU LOVE IT. YOU LOOOOOOVE IT :flutterrage:

5166394
5166377
You like it, you love it, you want some more of it

Comment posted by Ragefree deleted Oct 21st, 2014

5166488 and here we have a considerate fellow willing to do what other's are too lazy to in order to make the comments just that much better, good on you kind sir/ma'am

also that sounded really sarcastic, but i assure you, it wasn't

5166501

Dont worry no need to worry bout sarcasm i deal with it daily :heart:

5166504 eh, just don't like people getting the wrong meaning from what I say, i only leave sarcasm alone if it's in a fun, joking manner

Tracking this. Quite good, I must say.

The urge to downvote is strong.

5166932 Everyone has their own opinions and tastes... each to their own. No one is stopping you. :pinkiesmile:

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